Why areT- Girls so disfunctional../ emotionally unstable ?

[Embrujada]

I have my own ideas but will save them for later. Let me jsut relate a case I dealth with to sort indicate where i'm coming form. I am in no way incenuating that T-girls are more unstable than regular gg.


About 6 months ago I dealt with a case it stands out in my mind because it was this transgendered woman who was at the time suicidal. So in an attempt to isolate the problem we traced her history from childhood.

Thing is her father left when she was very young, in an attempt to compensate for that loss of her father figure (which we discovered over a period of time) she at the age of 15 got into a homosexual relationship with an older man. At age 17 she began her transition, solely in an attempt to keep her partner who at that time began expressing concerns about the fact that he was in a homosexual relationship with her(then him). Two implants, hormonal therapy, and numerous surgeries later she still didnt it the bill of what his "ideal" woman was suposed to look like.

to cut a long story short everything came to a head in one session. I asked the question . Who are u doing all this for honestly?

Is it to keep your man or to keep your dad.

She is doing better.....

I'm not trying to say all if any transsexuals have this issue, but it is very disturbing the number of suicides/attempted suicides in the Transsexual Communitn. And i'm not talking about the adult community (cause both g and tg adult entertainers have their issues. I'm talking about genuine Transgendered women. And I know that the hormoned have adverse psychological effects on women but are there more explanations for these behavioral trends?

[yourdaddy]

HORMONES !!!!!

[Embrujada]

Certainly not all TS women are basket cases. However, there are a million reasons why we could be. But I agree. unfortunately, that there is way too much emotional instablity, depression, lonliness, fear, and suicide in our "community".

I think that it is genuine cause for concern. Are there any organizations that deal specifically with these issues ? anyone

[SexxxyJade]

Being an ex- suicidial TS, I can relate to where ur friend is coming from. The only explanation I have for once wanting to take my life is the obvious. Look at how society looks at transgender people. I mean true I did choose this life on my own, but not before it was too late,not before i knew what i was really getting into. In this community there is hardly no one to reach out to, beyond our own kind, and sometimes even we can be our own worse enemies. Society thinks we are psycho and requires us all to take evalutaions before we go thru woth anything. Often times girls feel lonely and unwanted, doing everything in our power to meet others expectations. Then there are the affects of hormones, as u said, which only make things worse. The only way I overcame my low self esteem and over powered my will to take my life was to realize that I have to be my own best friend, that if not for anyone else I have to live for me. And once I started doing that everything else came into place.
I suggest to any girl who has low self esteem and is suicidal to understand that there is a reason to live, which may not be tangible , but we all were put here for a reason, it is up to us to find our purpose and make a differnce. Never let anyone influence our actions. Love yourself before you love anyone else.
Also, if we as TS ( and others in the gay community) reach out and accept one another, love one another, and be there for one another, instead of always trying to get ahead of each other, and down grade the next girl, then maybe we just might overcome societies hold on us. Lets do it together...as one.

[Embrujada]

Being an ex- suicidial TS, I can relate to where ur friend is coming from. The only explanation I have for once wanting to take my life is the obvious. Look at how society looks at transgender people. I mean true I did choose this life on my own, but not before it was too late,not before i knew what i was really getting into. In this community there is hardly no one to reach out to, beyond our own kind, and sometimes even we can be our own worse enemies. Society thinks we are psycho and requires us all to take evalutaions before we go thru woth anything. Often times girls feel lonely and unwanted, doing everything in our power to meet others expectations. Then there are the affects of hormones, as u said, which only make things worse. The only way I overcame my low self esteem and over powered my will to take my life was to realize that I have to be my own best friend, that if not for anyone else I have to live for me. And once I started doing that everything else came into place.
I suggest to any girl who has low self esteem and is suicidal to understand that there is a reason to live, which may not be tangible , but we all were put here for a reason, it is up to us to find our purpose and make a differnce. Never let anyone influence our actions. Love yourself before you love anyone else.
Also, if we as TS ( and others in the gay community) reach out and accept one another, love one another, and be there for one another, instead of always trying to get ahead of each other, and down grade the next girl, then maybe we just might overcome societies hold on us. Lets do it together...as one.

Great post Jade . I think alot of times T girls have the illusion that getting implants and doing surgeries will make everything alright . Many times it's more of an internal/mental issue than it is a physical one . A geek who takes steroids and beefs up still is a geek until he stops believing that he is one .

coupled with the fact that they are universally accepted and hormones the feeling of loss and want for acceptance is a deadly combination,.

[RangeHova]

Sounds to me like this was not a true TS woman of who you are speaking of. This person's issues are something other than being transsexual. This person wrongly began calling himself a TS because he thought the term fit.

Anyone who begins living as a woman for a lover is not a transsexual at all.

A lot of people that call themselves TS women are not TS. I dated a girl who it took years for her to admit that she began first doing drag and then living as a female because so many people told her how pretty she was, and how easily she could pass and the number of men falling at her feet. Now here she is a STUNNING (I mean seriously FINE) vision of female beauty but she's got all kinds of issues.


But I will say that many TS women have emotional issues that stand out more than most but DAMN, imagine being A TRANSSEXUAL. Though many girls find happiness in who and what they are but that is still a pretty fucking heavy load to carry in this society.

Rejection, not being understood, being seen as a freak, having men desire you only for what is in your panties, having men who want you and 10 others like you for what is in thier panties, the insecurity of others like you and closest to you, ... I could go on.

But as many times as a TS friend, loved one, or acquaitence has driven me absolutely up a fuckin wall I wouldn't dare act as if i don't get whare a lot of that comes from.

I'm wondering how could anyone dare to ask such a question.

[Vicki Richter]

Personally, I detest the gay community. I wish TS would stay as far away from it as possible. That is one of the reasons TS are treated so oddly. Another is they talk wierd. They make up their own language regardless of education or background. It's really disturbing. I mean if you want mainstream people to accept you, don't act like a flaming drag queen. Act like a woman. Save the drama for message boards like Hung Angels.

I think the hormones thing is an excuse to misbehave or mistreat people. This one girl told her guy that she needed space because of the hormones. She blamed mistreating him on the hormones... I am sure that isn't uncommon. I mean it is very easy to say, "Oh I'm normal, it's just that I take hormones". Most of these girls are whack already. They post pictures of people urinating and say things like "drinky drinky"... I mean don't blame the hormones for obvious insanity or an inability to be stable.

However, I have seen very normal nice girls change dramatically... so something has to cause that. That draws me back to the subculture. If you hang around with whacky people enough, it is going to reflect on you.

Depression is an interesting thing. I can't explain why so many girls fall into this but tt is very common among TS girls. You really don't see many truly old TS around.

[slinky]

You really don't see many truly old TS around.

You're not hanging out in the right clubs.

But in a culture where looks are everything, why would someone who's lost the "everything" they once had hang out anymore?

[chefmike]

Oh my...if we currently had attachments, this is about the time JWBL aka Allanah :wink: would post that infamous "let's get ready to rumble" pic...

[slinky]

I guess here's as good a place as any to say it:

Considering how much intolerance they have faced from society, it seems surprising that the gay, TS and BDSM communites are so judgemental. But they are, in spades. I guess it's like the children of abusers growing up to be abusers: they all say they are never going to do it, but it's the only thing they know.

[AllanahStarrNYC]

lmao

please

that withered nasty cunt just called me an ignorant bitch on her forums and that is the down side to gia,her friendship to me- lmao

who is my best friend by the way- and doesnt liek her either

funny what a small world this is- spoke to a gentleman at the avn who i have known for years, who was recently the center of some drama in between parties, and asked me why no one liked vicki

i just said because she is a withered nasty cunt that't why

[chefmike]

vicki who :?: :?:

[AllanahStarrNYC]

the ones whose toes are always clinging off her open toe plastic shoes like they are holding on for life- shrimping

[Vicki Richter]

lmao

please

that withered nasty cunt just called me an ignorant bitch on her forums and that is the down side to gia,her friendship to me- lmao

who is my best friend by the way- and doesnt liek her either

funny what a small world this is- spoke to a gentleman at the avn who i have known for years, who was recently the center of some drama in between parties, and asked me why no one liked vicki

i just said because she is a withered nasty cunt that't why


Wow. The hostility. I see myself being calm and rational, but this... Oh my. This is exactly what happens to poor girls... they turn bitter and jealous and lash out... OK OK... and your hostility still doesn't change the fact that you're an ignorant bitch. Whacky forum stalker Allanah. Drinky drinky. <smirk>

Vicki

http://www.vickirichter.com/forums

[chefmike]

the ones whose toes are always clinging off her open toe plastic shoes like they are holding on for life- shrimping

Why am i thinking of shrimp and biscuits, they really don't go together...

and how does a tanning bed fit into the equation?

[Vicki Richter]

the ones whose toes are always clinging off her open toe plastic shoes like they are holding on for life- shrimping

Sigh... It's OK. I'm the bigger person... Figuratively speaking of course.

:P

V/R

http://www.vickirichter.com/forums

[AllanahStarrNYC]

jealous at what girl?

you?????? LMAO

that was the funniest thing i have heard yet.

im so jealous of the way your toes hang off your shoes and that space you got going in between your boobs that the larger implants did not resolve. damn, i wish i was as purty as you.

[Embrujada]

I really dont get why ts are always engaged in some kind of conflict. Is it a necessary evil for adult entertainers ? I could under genetic girls but as a ts with so many other issues to deal with u would expect that you guys would at least try to keep it together instead of constantly going at each other's throats. The bigger man/woman always rises above it.

[Vicki Richter]

jealous at what girl?

you?????? LMAO

that was the funniest thing i have heard yet.

im so jealous of the way your toes hang off your shoes and that space you got going in between your boobs that the larger implants did not resolve. damn, i wish i was as purty as you.

Holy prove a forum topic right Batman!!!! Koo koo!

Vicki

http://www.vickirichter.com/forums

[Vicki Richter]

I really dont get why ts are always engaged in some kind of conflict. Is it a necessary evil for adult entertainers ? I could under genetic girls but as a ts with so many other issues to deal with u would expect that you guys would at least try to keep it together instead of constantly going at each other's throats. The bigger man/woman always rises above it.

Well we can all see who routinely starts the mindless insults... Crazy, kooky, too many mystery hormones, and brain leaking silicone Allanah.

Vicki

http://www.vickirichter.com/forums

[AllanahStarrNYC]

whatever girl

u are the only transsexual i can not stand and id like to keep it that way

drinky drinky

[Embrujada]

I really dont get why ts are always engaged in some kind of conflict. Is it a necessary evil for adult entertainers ? I could under genetic girls but as a ts with so many other issues to deal with u would expect that you guys would at least try to keep it together instead of constantly going at each other's throats. The bigger man/woman always rises above it.

Well we can all see who routinely starts the mindless insults... Crazy, kooky, too many mystery hormones, and brain leaking silicone Allanah.

Vicki

http://www.vickirichter.com/forums

I'm relatively new so i'm not qualified to make decisions as to who's instigating and who's not . But u make way too many good points to have them nullified by useless bickering. Let's try to keep this intellectual . Maybe we can actually come to some conclusions

[AllanahStarrNYC]

lol do some searches embrujada

u will pleasantly surprised

especially the vicki apology to allanah- where she herlself claims to cycle hormones weirdly and act stange to certain girls

[Vicki Richter]

I'm relatively new so i'm qualified to make decisions as to who's instigating and who's not . But u make way too many good points to have them nullified by useless bickering. Let's try to keep this intellectual . Maybe we can actually come to some conclusions.

Well thank you for injecting (pardon the pun) some calm rationality into the last few posts. I do think that this divergence proved exactly what the poster had intended. Some TS's, the vast majority perhaps, are emotionally unstable and start mindless, unprovoked attacks against their peers. Why am I disliked? Because I haven't been infected with crazy transsexual disease. I can stand on my own merits as well as my mental prowess and make real, if not practical, arguments.

I do find it amusing that craziness infects a post about transsexuals having issues. If this were a Greek tragedy, one might say, "ironic".

Vicki

http://www.vickirichter.com/forums

[Vicki Richter]

lol do some searches embrujada

u will pleasantly surprised

especially the vicki apology to allanah- where she herlself claims to cycle hormones weirdly and act stange to certain girls

Yes... Also do a search for "drinky drinky" if you want to see whacky tranny disease, and totally unproked attacks of jealousy in action.

Vicki

http://www.vickirichter.com/forums

[AllanahStarrNYC]

lmao

girl u know drop the jealosy bit because the LAST thing i am is jealous of you. you can call me crazy, insane, ugly, whatever u like- but to say that i am jealous of you is the ultimate insult- because trust me the last thing on earth i am is jealous of vicki richter.

[Vicki Richter]

lmao

girl u know drop the jealosy bit because the LAST thing i am is jealous of you. you can call me crazy, insane, ugly, whatever u like- but to say that i am jealous of you is the ultimate insult- because trust me the last thing on earth i am is jealous of vicki richter.

:roll: Well of course you wouldn't admit it.

I'd never call you ugly Ms A... nothing could be farther from the truth.

Anyway, I am sorry you're jealous of me but it's just getting old and I had to point out that is why you make the comments you do. You're pulling on my braids and crying for my attention when you attempt to provoke me out of the blue when I am posting here. It's a natural reaction and pattern of jealousy. You target my threads and posts like someone infatuated... It's cute in it's own simple way.

Vicki

http://www.vickirichter.com/forums

[Embrujada]

Ok My take on the whole situation :

What does 'homosexual' mean?
A homosexual is a person who exhibits "sexual desire orbehaviour directed toward a person or persons of one's own sex."
The problem with using the word homosexual is that it assumes there are only two types of diametrically opposed sexual orientations, homo-
and heterosexual, and that people are either one or the other.

Sex researchers believe that people exist on a continuous spectrum of sexual preference. The Kinsey Scale rates people's sexual responsiveness on a scale of 0 to 6, with 0's exclusively heterosexual, 3's equal homosexual and heterosexual, and having sex exclusively with someone of the opposite sex, and 6's exclusively homosexual. Most people lie somewhere between the two extremes.

Are transsexuals and transvestites homosexual?
The majority of transvestites (those who wear clothes of the other gender) and transsexuals (those who feel a dissonance betweentheir gender assigned at birth and the gender role they wish to assume) are heterosexual.

Their situation has in common with homosexuality the fact that they are challenges to traditional gender roles, and that many transgendered people are homosexual. As well, activists who label themselves "queer" have undertaken to include transgendered rights issues with those of homosexual rights. As with definitions of homosexuality, there are problemswith definitions of these transgendered people.

While transvestism is for some a paraphilia, others dress as the opposite sex for broader social reasons. Transvestism and transsexualism may
overlap. The current medical definition of transgendered people as deviants and disordered people could be amenable to similar criticisms used against the medical definition of homosexuality as disease, which existed until recently.

For example, when treating transgendered people who are depressed or suicidal, it may be useful to examine whether these feelings are an inherent part of the "disorder" of transvestism or transsexualism, or whether they are merely a result of the discrimination and disapproval faced by
these patients. Efforts to change these traits must be balanced with the testimony of transgendered people who report greater happiness and satisfaction after they embraced their desired gender roles.

It all comes down to knowing yourself and being honest to yourself.

[drock]

jealous at what girl?

you?????? LMAO

that was the funniest thing i have heard yet.

im so jealous of the way your toes hang off your shoes and that space you got going in between your boobs that the larger implants did not resolve. damn, i wish i was as purty as you.

Damn CTFU>

[Ecstatic]

Excellent post, Embrujada. You really nicely summed up several very cogent points.

Ari, I hear you about being bi. I am bi (though I haven't been with a man in more years than I can recall and have never been emotionally/romantically attracted to a man--another point on that sliding spectrum I think, in that I'm pansexual when it comes to sexual activity, but hetero with a ts-twist (whatever that is) when it comes to love, romance, emotional attraction). Some think that being bi is the "easy" GLBT category, or that it's simply an excuse for, as you say, "doing anything that moves." In fact, most of society seems to consider a bi man as gay (whereas a bi woman isn't--good old double standard). And TS often seem to look down on bi men because, well, we're confused, or not sufficiently masculine (which I can understand, since so many TS want so much to move away from being defined by their male sexuality).

Still, being bi is "easy" in the sense that it's not visible to anyone unless you tell them or they see you with a member of the same sex. Being TS on the other hand is the "hardest" (no pun intended, please) in that you're the most out there in the public eye. So I can only grasp a small part of what it must be like to be TS in this society (speaking of the US and perhaps Western Europe).

[BlackAdder]

"I've been happy now for the past few days because I finally decided to do away with all those things which drag me down....dating, relationships, love and sex"

You can certainly give these up for short term happiness, but those kinds of actions are what humans "do", and if you think there arent going to be any consequences for cutting them out of your life well......lets just say you may not even notice the subtle negative changes. I think your making a bad mistake that ive seen tried before.....I think a better bet would be to go to a counselor or sex therapist and try and see why you keep having run into trouble in those Arena's.....for most people it straight up comes down to a poor decision making process and trust too lightly given without the other party earning any of it.

[BeardedOne]

I've been happy now for the past few days because I finally decided to do away with all those things which drag me down....dating, relationships, love and sex

I can relate to this, and I agree with BlackAdder that it pretty much only provides short-term happiness. When it goes on for too long (Mileage may vary), you just start getting goofy. :?

I gave up 'dating', in whatever sense you may define it, in 1998. I just don't see the sense in the pointless tapdancing that inevitably led to a dead end an hour, day, or year down the road.

Like any ship, relationships (Mine anyway) drift, hit the rocks, and sink. I can't swim and I'm too old to learn. Of late, I have been floating a lot.

Love is a Madison Avenue sham. Invented to hawk Chevrolets and greeting cards, it rolls off most people's lips as easily as I might shout the =other= ultimate lie: "I'm from the government and I promise not to put the check in your mouth". Let's face it, Hallmark invented a holiday for 'love' and gave it the initials 'V.D.'. What does that tell you?

I can =rent= sex.

See what I mean by 'goofy'? :banghead

I'm not a T-girl, but I know dysfunctional. Do I get a cookie?

[deebo]

i think this could qualify as a stereotype

IMO

[Quinn]

My two cents on this dead horse of a topic:

It’s been my experience that emotionally unstable, diva-like behavior is generally associated with girls who are part of “the scene.” Girls who aren’t part of “the scene” rarely present the same type of learned behavioral problems.

-Quinn

[AllanahStarrNYC]

this topic is so tired but because there are dysfunctional, depressed, people of all sexes.

[Vicki Richter]

My two cents on this dead horse of a topic:

It’s been my experience that emotionally unstable, diva-like behavior is generally associated with girls who are part of “the scene.” Girls who aren’t part of “the scene” rarely present the same type of learned behavioral problems.

-Quinn

Yes maybe that is it... Girls in the "scene" are depressed and whacky. They may use terms like "tired".

V/R

http://www.vickirichter.com/forums

[AllanahStarrNYC]

lol-

so transsexuals are the only social group who exclusively makes up their own phrases and "language"

tell it to the the rappers and hip hoppers dear

theere are a multitude of groups who use a certain lingo AND SLANG- it is not exclusive to transsexuals

hence why this is tired and i am paying you dust ;)

[Skillet]

:| ........................one time, my dad pooped in the neighbor's yard and then lied about it.

[BeardedOne]

They may use terms like "tired".

So does my mechanic.

"Yer all tired up and ready to go! That'll be $62.50, including balance and rotation."

:lol:

[Quinn]

:| ........................one time, my dad pooped in the neighbor's yard and then lied about it.

LOL.

-Quinn

[JamieGSE]

I think the hormones thing is an excuse to misbehave or mistreat people. This one girl told her guy that she needed space because of the hormones. She blamed mistreating him on the hormones... I am sure that isn't uncommon. I mean it is very easy to say, "Oh I'm normal, it's just that I take hormones". Most of these girls are whack already. They post pictures of people urinating and say things like "drinky drinky"... I mean don't blame the hormones for obvious insanity or an inability to be stable.

GG have been blaming PMS for everything from Suicide to Murder so it is quite possible that hormones could be an issue.

My best friend transitioned in her early 20's and was treated like shite by the women at work " You can't use the ladies toilets you are a guy" and she didn't want to use the Gents because she was a woman. So any time she need to go, she had to get in the lift go 10 floors down to street level and across the road to the Public female toilets where no one recognised her. At that time in her life she was feeling very suicidal because she was stuck between the world of being a female in her heart and mind but too many people knew her as "Steve"

She changed jobs and now 15 years later is more passable than most GG's I know. Very few people in her current workplace know her "past" and she is now very happy and well adjusted....thanks to years of therapy and lots of good friends around her. Without that she may not have been around.

I see the TG/TS society right now as being like the gay society of the earlier 80's. Back then, as long as you weren't a screaming queen and didn't run around saying I like poking it into men's bottoms, society kinda let you be who you wanted, as the children of the 80's grew up we learned (I hope) more acceptance and thanks to many activists and strides within t gay community society managed to (in some cases) accept people for being gay. The TG/S community is kinda at the...well if you actually look like a woman then...TV shows are certainly showing more with Miriam (I didn't say I liked her it just said what she is) Maurie Povich, Movies like Girl Interrupted, The Crying Game etc all gradually leading society along the path of acceptance. Given time I hope there will be the same acceptance for TS/TG's as there are for gays..... Imagine all the people....living life at peace...
:)

[Vicki Richter]

It's not so much the hormones so much as how you dose them.

PMS sucks for a lot of reasons that aren't hormonal... Cramping... bleeding... discomfort... inconvenience... at some levels - embarassment can be a factor...

I mean you can't equate a TS dosing hormones to PMS.

I'm sorry to hear about your friend's bathroom situation that would definitely be sucky. Very good note overall.

[rick_932]

Also, if we as TS ( and others in the gay community) reach out and accept one another, love one another, and be there for one another, instead of always trying to get ahead of each other, and down grade the next girl, then maybe we just might overcome societies hold on us. Lets do it together...as one.

i couldnt have said this better myself. this applies to any group

[BeardedOne]

Actually I have done this before. Back in 2001 I went through a major breakup...

Yah, my breakDOWN was caused by a breakUP too. Funny how that works. :? I seemed to fare pretty well at the start (Early '98 ), even having a couple of lighthearted misadventures (One with an old flame, another with a new), but then all the little lights in my brain started to flicker and dim and I just shut down for a couple of years. I can't honestly say that I've fully recovered, but I don't let it get to me as much as I used to (And I'm quick to point fingers now, rather than play the 'What'd =I= do?' self-blame game anymore).

After the first year of doldrums I went out and bought a new car (My first truly NEW car) and what eventually became known as my 'therapy house'. The latter had enough projects revolving in and around it that I eventually got lost in home-work and just plain forgot how lonely and miserable I'd become. Then the stray cats began to land on the porch and I had new responsibilities to fill the void (One of them is pigging out on fresh food as I type this).

If you need any spare cats.... :D

[RangeHova]

The self medicating thing is huge. So many girls get thier hormones on the street, through friends and such. Also a lot of girls go to doctors that know very little about hormones.

Had an ex who was prone to act up worse than any PMSing GG that I dated, once she got in a car accident and basically forced to see a doctor she got linked up with a doctor that specialized in transgendered women and hormones. It was like having a new woman.

So ladies be careful of where you get your 'mones and who you have treating you. Thoe are not to be played with just to get titties and soft skin.

[BeardedOne]

I already have one cat and don't want him to get jealous.

*Side note ~ If you have ever seen The Simpsons, I'm not trying to end up like the crazy cat lady...lol

I know all about cats and jealousy. The alpha stray burst into the house the other morning, made rounds of the kitchen and then ran back onto the porch with an I-bet-it's-just-warm-enough-for-me-in-there attitude that really torqued off the indoor cat. She's been all up in my face for the whole day with her I'm-so-much-cuddlier-than-he-is 'tude (She knows I'm talking about her, too. Meeping at me from under the desk at this very moment).

We had a real-life 'crazy cat lady' in one of the university neighborhoods when I was still living in Boston. You could look into the townhouse as you walked by and there would be at least a dozen lounging around on the stoop and in the entry hall. I can only imagine how many more there might have been inside the house.

Thought: Are there crazy cat =guys=? You never hear of them. Mayhaps I will be the first.

[cheribaum]

ALL I CAN SAY IS. WHO'S JEALOUS OF WHO????????? NOT MISS ALLANAH, we got ur back girl. NOBODY GONNA TEAR YOU DOWN. KEEP ON TRUCKING MISS A *