How much does someone's personality turn you on?

[Nicole Dupre]

Do you ever feel attracted, intellectually, to a woman you initially found to be physically attractive?

Discuss amongst ya'selves. lol

[Nashvegas]

I think personality can be a huge turn on. Not gonna lie and say looks aren't important but it's the personality that keeps you around.

[giovanni_hotel]

Is this a trick question??

There are a few women on HA whose personalities I found to be intensely attractive which compliments their physical beauty.

I'll use the OP as an example, Nicole.
Ms. Dupre, you have an intoxicating combination of laser wit, charm, pure intelligence, attitude, wisdom, perspective AND sensitivity.
I think those on this board who only remember where you bitch-slap dumbasses senseless miss how generous you've been by sharing with all of us a glimpse into your heart/head.

To me Nicole you just have an attractive personality, beautifully complex but still grounded.
Your personality simply enhances the outer attraction, which IMO gives you this gravitational pull over myself and other guys similarly afflicted on HA.lol

I'd say among most the ladies who've posted before on HA, I find roughly 90% generally attractive. But it's those women who have a relatable personality that are the ones I really LIKE.
'Like' to me means if I met girl X and she told me upfront we aren't going to do anything physical right now(!!...that would suck!lol), however we were going to go out that night, bar and party hop and just hang for a few hours, I would still look forward to the evening.

Why?? Personality.
But if there was no shot at sex it would be kinda hard to stay 'friendly' with a female who really turns me on.

[Nicole Dupre]

This thread is like Kryptonite on a porn forum. lol



think personality can be a huge turn on. Not gonna lie and say looks aren't important but it's the personality that keeps you around.

I agree.

[Ineeda SM]

When meeting someone face to face, the first impression is always a visual one. But how she carries herself and how she dresses can say a lot about her personality. Personality is a different point of view for each of us. But a nice strong personality can only add to the visual impression.

But, I have met women through internet or phone conversations where the first impression is strictly their personality. If all went well with the voice contact, then the first visual impression is not that important. I just like nice people who have brains that function.

With all of that in mind, I would say personality is a big part of the turn on. Actual looks do play a part, but a small one.

[maaarc]

at this stage in my life I cannot see the point in being with someone I'm not attracted to on an emotional,spiritual and intellectual level. NSA is just empty for me

[Nicole Dupre]

With all of that in mind, I would say personality is a big part of the turn on. Actual looks do play a part, but a small one.Really? I can't deal with dummies very well, so I do understand you. But why not simply know what you like in both regards, and desire the "complete package"? I guess I'm super picky about what I see as a guy having LTR potential, because I want both. I'm generally attracted to artists, but too many of them are "starving".And essentially being their sugar mama gets old fast. I want someone to take care of ME a little too. ;)

[dderek123]

Yeah it happens. But sometimes the little head is doing all the thinking so it doesn't take much.

[Nicole Dupre]

Is this a trick question??

There are a few women on HA whose personalities I found to be intensely attractive which compliments their physical beauty.

I'll use the OP as an example, Nicole.
Ms. Dupre, you have an intoxicating combination of laser wit, charm, pure intelligence, attitude, wisdom, perspective AND sensitivity.
I think those on this board who only remember where you bitch-slap dumbasses senseless miss how generous you've been by sharing with all of us a glimpse into your heart/head.

To me Nicole you just have an attractive personality, beautifully complex but still grounded.
Your personality simply enhances the outer attraction, which IMO gives you this gravitational pull over myself and other guys similarly afflicted on HA.lol

I'd say among most the ladies who've posted before on HA, I find roughly 90% generally attractive. But it's those women who have a relatable personality that are the ones I really LIKE.
'Like' to me means if I met girl X and she told me upfront we aren't going to do anything physical right now(!!...that would suck!lol), however we were going to go out that night, bar and party hop and just hang for a few hours, I would still look forward to the evening.

Why?? Personality.
But if there was no shot at sex it would be kinda hard to stay 'friendly' with a female who really turns me on.
I can tell that about you. Other than the silly comment you made on the thread about the guy getting his wang cut off and thrown in the garbage disposal, I know there's some depth on the other side of your keyboard.

And thank you for the sweet compliments. :)

[Ineeda SM]

Really? I can't deal with dummies very well, so I do understand you. But why not simply know what you like in both regards, and desire the "complete package"? I guess I'm super picky about what I see as a guy having LTR potential, because I want both. I'm generally attracted to artists, but too many of them are "starving".And essentially being their sugar mama gets old fast. I want someone to take care of ME a little too. ;)

I do have desire for the whole package. But I have never put much stock in first visual impressions. As an example....suppose a guy hates tattoos on women. His first visual impression of you might be a turn off, and he would never get to really know the great person you are. That would be his loss based on visual attraction only.

I have always like to know a person first before any romance catches on. I want to know if we are compatible, at least a little, to get things started. The visual for me is a small part of the attraction. I wouldn't want someone who looks like...well let's just say, the Tea Party liar freak. I do have SOME standards. LOL. But a woman does not have to be beautiful, and can have flaws for my taste, if she has a good personality.

Nicole, as long as I can get close up inspections of your artwork canvas every night, I would take care of you baby. I would love you like my Queen. LOL:Bowdown:

[rockabilly]

It's a trap! Personality is important in any relationship

[rameses2]

It's a trap! Personality is important in any relationship
Hey man! I keep missing ya! If her personality is light and compassionate, that's a turn-on!
413749

[dav367]

For me looks and personality are very important and the following scenarios will often play out:

1) Stunning girl - attracted to immediately but when I get to know her personality, attraction diminishes

2) Nice/Average girl - not attracted to immediately but when I get to know her sparkling personality attraction increases massively

The ultimate is obviously the stunning girl with sparkling personality. (Hi Alyssa!) :D

[Nicole Dupre]

It's a trap! Personality is important in any relationship
"Personality" should just be a given in a relationship. But how about a decent conversation? Is being "nice" good enough?

I was actually talking about lust. Listening to a handsome guy talking, who has a brain, takes it to the next level for me. It indicates LTR potential too.

[rockabilly]

Hey man! I keep missing ya! If her personality is light and compassionate, that's a turn-on!
413749

I pop in every now and then , welcome back Nicole.

[Nicole Dupre]

LTRs need lust, but people get old and looks fade. I think that's just life.

"... Muthafuckas that thought their ass would age like fine wine." lol

Pulp Fiction (Bar Scene) - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6O5BfnhmT2A)

[Nicole Dupre]

welcome back Nicole.
Thanks, Rock. xo

[MrF]

Looks and personality are both extremely important, but I think the OP already knows that.

It's interesting, though: what kind of personality ? Probably, for most people, it needs to be a personality and intelligence that best matches their own. E.g. a lot of people here say they want someone intelligent; but there are many different kinds of intelligences, and some people are apparently too intelligent in a particular way ... I've known a few people who were so strangely brilliant they never got laid. I read somewhere that Isaac Newton died a virgin and was known to give lectures to a completely empty lecture hall -- the students all skipped class because nobody understood him --- yet these were Cambridge students ! My point is, it needs to be a match. Usually when someone says they want someone intelligent it means they want someone who is like themselves.

[Ben]

I think personality can be a huge turn on. Not gonna lie and say looks aren't important but it's the personality that keeps you around.

Intellect is a turn on. True. The initial attraction is physical. And then if someone is bookish, intellectual, well, that IS a huge turn on.
You want the two together. Because everyone is greedy -- ha ha ha! :)

[onmyknees]

Let me turn that around somewhat....sure I find a smart, well spoken women who have solid opinions and know how to elaborate on them attractive...regardless of if I concur with her thought process or not...but it all begins and ends with physical attraction. Dudes are visual and act on that stimulus. I may be attracted to her mind, and enjoy the give and take over dinner, or walks along the waterfront, but if she's not physically attractive, the relationship will remain plutonic. In a casual relationship... I'm not making love to her mind....but her body. Put it this way....I can make it work if she's physically flawless .I can overlook her lack of intellectual depth. I mean really ...you're not talking about the merits of quantitative easing or any of Einstein theories while you're fucking, even as mental as that endeavor as fucking can be. lol Sure ...the ultimate is to find a woman who's intellectually curious and has a flawless body, but that's not always the choice in front of you.

I date a chic occasionally who does bikini bike calendar shoots and also instructs other women on pole dancing. Her body is like a flawless sculpture, but let's just say she's not going to be getting her PHD anytime soon. The sex is intense, but the conversation lacking...it's just the way it is...Conversely I have a great friendship a college professor. She's brilliant and I dig her, and am attracted to her for that reason, but I can't see myself sleeping with her. I just don't find her physically attractive, but that fact doesn't affect our friendship.

I don't ever hear dudes tell me that they're dating some girl because of her law or engineering degree. I'm just being straight up about that. If you're taking a LTR...well sure you have to have a smart lady who blows your hair back physically.
There are some ladies on here who are both fiercely smart and very hot physically. I agree with almost nothing they say, but that doesn't mean I don't respect their intellect. Does that mean I'm attracted to them? I'm not sure, With all due respect, I think that's a far more intriguing question.

[dav367]

Looks and personality are both extremely important, but I think the OP already knows that.


I don't think they are so important to everyone. I've seen some ugly motherfuckers that have hooked up. There's no way they think one another are more aesthetically pleasing than half the rest of the population. You know what I mean though? Ugly people clearly settle for other ugly people. Yeah beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that but the beholder is usually kidding themself on.

I'm having a bit of fun there, not being an arrogant twat. Personally I'm single because my standards are too high, I'm sure these folk are having more fun than me.

[Ineeda SM]

I don't think they are so important to everyone. I've seen some ugly motherfuckers that have hooked up. There's no way they think one another are more aesthetically pleasing than half the rest of the population. You know what I mean though? Ugly people clearly settle for other ugly people. Yeah beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that but the beholder is usually kidding themself on.

I'm having a bit of fun there, not being an arrogant twat. Personally I'm single because my standards are too high, I'm sure these folk are having more fun than me.

You are doing just fine. :iagree: Yours was probably the best post in this thread, and hit the nail right on the head.

[Nicole Dupre]

Ugly people clearly settle for other ugly people. Yeah beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that but the beholder is usually kidding themself on.
LTRs are ultimately about compatibility. Physical attraction is mostly chemistry ie. the human libido.

[Quiet Reflections]

50/50 (looks/personality) with extra credit given for mental stability, good job, her own place, and the ability to talk about current political,religious and world events intelligently.

[Jackal]

Very much attractive to click with a woman's personality as well. I generally enjoy the company of a nice lady, so if there's chemistry and she's interesting, smart and into me? That's perfect!

[Nicole Dupre]

I do have desire for the whole package. But I have never put much stock in first visual impressions. As an example....suppose a guy hates tattoos on women. His first visual impression of you might be a turn off, and he would never get to really know the great person you are. That would be his loss based on visual attraction only.Some guys hate tattoos. And truthfully? I actually find that very helpful. lol Ironically, I can't stand most heavily-tattooed people myself, but usually for COMPLETELY different reasons. Like, Jesse James? Total fucking loser. Bombshell Magee? An even BIGGER total fucking loser. lol

It's funny because in NYC, tattoos always tell a lot about a person. People in less cosmopolitan areas just see a lot of work, and just put a "tattooed" label on you But if I had to type-cast myself in life, I'd say "I'm very punk rock & very East Coast/NYC". lol But it's really kinda true. I like ethnic diversity. I like a fast pace. I LIVE for art and adornment. But hey. That's just me. lol

[Ineeda SM]

Some guys hate tattoos. And truthfully? I actually find that very helpful. lol Ironically, I can't stand most heavily-tattooed people myself, but usually for COMPLETELY different reasons. Like, Jesse James? Total fucking loser. Bombshell Magee? An even BIGGER total fucking loser. lol

It's funny because in NYC, tattoos always tell a lot about a person. People in less cosmopolitan areas just see a lot of work, and just put a "tattooed" label on you But if I had to type-cast myself in life, I'd say "I'm very punk rock & very East Coast/NYC". lol But it's really kinda true. I like ethnic diversity. I like a fast pace. I LIVE for art and adornment. But hey. That's just me. lol

I have no problem with tats on women, but I have never been a real fan of them. But once in a while, comes someone like you with true artwork. I guess it is the colors, design and layout. The way they contour your body and breasts, just fascinates me. I have one pic of you that really shows off your artwork, and I have spent time looking close at the details and being amazed. Sincerely Nicole, you are a true canvas of beautiful work. My compliments to the artist. The rest looks pretty hot too. LOL

[Jackal]

Some guys hate tattoos. And truthfully? I actually find that very helpful. lol Ironically, I can't stand most heavily-tattooed people myself, but usually for COMPLETELY different reasons. Like, Jesse James? Total fucking loser. Bombshell Magee? An even BIGGER total fucking loser. lol

It's funny because in NYC, tattoos always tell a lot about a person. People in less cosmopolitan areas just see a lot of work, and just put a "tattooed" label on you But if I had to type-cast myself in life, I'd say "I'm very punk rock & very East Coast/NYC". lol But it's really kinda true. I like ethnic diversity. I like a fast pace. I LIVE for art and adornment. But hey. That's just me. lol

My two cents: tattoos can either suit a person well or not. If it reflects a person's personality and looks sharp, its great. If it is poorly done or is an attempt to look badass or whatever when you are not, then it looks ridiculous.

[Nicole Dupre]

I have no problem with tats on women, but I have never been a real fan of them. But once in a while, comes someone like you with true artwork. I guess it is the colors, design and layout. The way they contour your body and breasts, just fascinates me. I have one pic of you that really shows off your artwork, and I have spent time looking close at the details and being amazed. Sincerely Nicole, you are a true canvas of beautiful work. My compliments to the artist. The rest looks pretty hot too. LOL
Thank you. Truth be told, I gave guidance but I was in exceptionally good hands. Chris is the fucking bomb when it comes to "Western" dudes who've mastered Japanese tattooing. He eats, sleeps, and poops Irezumi. So many guys are faking their way through that style. Not Chris. Just watching him work is a pleasure. I didn't pick him because he was tattooing around the corner. At the time, he wasn't around the corner. lol But he was worth it.

[theone1982]

A girl's personality is a turn-on to me, but it's kind of the chicken and the egg question. That is to say, would I like the girl's personality if I wasn't physically attracted to her, or am I just fooling myself into liking it to be with her sexually? That's not to say that some girls don't bug the shit out of me who are really hot, I can pretty much stand any personality that isn't the ice queen holier than thou type.

[Nicole Dupre]

Getting to know a potential soulmate is always a process. lol

Kim Jong Il speaks about Laura Ling and Euna Lee - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uym2m3ytw70)

[MrF]

... Ugly people clearly settle for other ugly people ....

Fair enough, and I know what you mean. It seems to me that, with some exceptions, people tend to "match up" as they form pairs. You can see it if you study couples in public: a beautiful man with a beautiful woman, and then as you said above. It's the way sexual competition works out.

But apart from that, personality is critical. Perhaps we can say that beauty (at whatever level you can find it) opens the door, but personality is what makes the relationship last a long time. After some bitter experiences I can say there are certainly some women who -- no matter how beautiful they are -- I would not want to be around because of their personality. Just not worth it.

[south ov da border]

Personality does it for me, moreso than looks. I think that looks only go so far...

[Merkurie]

Personality goes all the way for me.

Cool interesting people are the most attractive, and looks alone sometimes cant make make me stick around any longer than i have to if the person has a POS attitude.

[SXFX]

Looks are a major factor, I've noticed peoples personalities are a bit malleable

[bte]

Looks = 55%
Personality = 40%
Misc = 5%

[tsnajwa]

Personality is a huge part of a relationship, atleast for a LTR. But does personality encompass beleifs? as far as moral stances, vulgarities, etc? Because I have found personally for those to be the big deal breakers with potential relationships and they have just completely turned me off..

[Nicole Dupre]

But does personality encompass beleifs? I would say 'yes'. A person's belief system is an extension of their personality.

[mcaextreme69]

Personality is everything. Beauty comes and goes. It's what's on the inside that counts. I've been in love with this girl for over 10 years. I hope I finally get my chance to shine. Send good thoughts my way.....

[Nicole Dupre]

Personality is everything. Beauty comes and goes. It's what's on the inside that counts. I've been in love with this girl for over 10 years. I hope I finally get my chance to shine. Send good thoughts my way.....
OMG. That av's funny! lol I love Beagles. :)

[fred41]

Do you ever feel attracted, intellectually, to a woman you initially found to be physically attractive?

Discuss amongst ya'selves. lol

I think sometimes people can get lucky and have the personality be part of the physical attraction from the get-go...but that usually takes some initial familiarity.... be it working together, previous friendship, etc. When you get that kind of package bundled together from the start (and it's mutual) you have an excellent shot at a long term relationship.

On the other hand relationships that are based entirely on looks are doomed when there's no intellectual connection (I suppose though, that wouldn't be true if both parties in the relationship were equally vapid...lol). Most of the time we're attracted to someone for the visual image they present...and we now know that the whole process of falling for someone is a chemical reaction that occurs in our brains...that for some people is so strong that they often overlook a person's personality...mentally filling in personality flaws (or blinding oneself to them)...especially if that other individuals physical beauty is far, far above average....but eventually that chemical process subsides...and the blinders come off...sometimes slowly...sometimes shockingly fast,...and you're left with a person that annoys you.

Conversely...if you try to make a go of being with someone who you really click with on a mental level...but there was never a really great physical attraction...you wind up sticking yourself with trying to have a LTR with someone who basically amounts to being "your best friend". This can work to some degree (I actually believe a lot of LTRs fall in this category)...but I believe that these type of relationships sometimes will have some cheating involved to make them work.

Unfortunately we don't always have control of who and why we fall heads over heels for.
...at least, speaking for myself, that's always been true.


...sorry for the ramble...just had some caffeine.

[Nicole Dupre]

...you wind up sticking yourself with trying to have a LTR with someone who basically amounts to being "your best friend". This can work to some degree (I actually believe a lot of LTRs fall in this category)...but I believe that these type of relationships sometimes will have some cheating involved to make them work.

Unfortunately we don't always have control of who and why we fall heads over heels for.
...at least, speaking for myself, that's always been true.


...sorry for the ramble...just had some caffeine.No worries. I'm glad you got to that part about the friendship. Imo that's also part of the "whole package" in a healthy LTR.

[loveboof]

Well it seems we all agree about personality in relationships (pretty obvious really).

But as for pure lust as Nicole suggested - I can honestly say that girls I initially found extremely attractive almost become ugly to me if they turn out to be a complete tool. And some of my biggest crushes (with girls I hardly know) have been based more on what I think they're like rather than their actual personality! Which suggests my desire was filling in a personality for her - meaning it must be important to me right?

As for tattoos on girls, I never used to be so crazy about loads of them. But since spending a month in California I have begun to appreciate tattooed girls lot more!

[Jericho]

Don't matter how hot someone is, if I'm going to meet them more than a handful of times, I've got to like them for more than their looks. Otherwise, i'd rather be with the ugly (in context) chick i can have a laugh and a chat with. :shrug

[BellaBellucci]

Looks aren't everything, but they do count. Personality is everything else.

~BB~

[KelticForce1349]

Personality is a huge part of a relationship, atleast for a LTR. But does personality encompass beleifs? as far as moral stances, vulgarities, etc? Because I have found personally for those to be the big deal breakers with potential relationships and they have just completely turned me off..

If you don't mind, would you like to elaborate on your thoughts a bit? I am curious to learn more about what you are thinking.

[suckshemalecock]

Do you ever feel attracted, intellectually, to a woman you initially found to be physically attractive?

Discuss amongst ya'selves. lol

HUGE Nicole.... I believe personality and looks always are first steps.. Us as humans is normal to allow to get to know people deeper once we like the looks and personality.

[suckshemalecock]

Looks aren't everything, but they do count. Personality is everything else.

~BB~

BUT BELLA is 100 % right... personality can change ur looks and even your first impression thoughts on someone

[dogsandcats]

Looks are important but personality and the way a person conducts themselves can make a person much much sexier. Conversely, a girl who is hot but acts like a cunt is a huge turn off. I just don't have the desire to try to pursue a chick just for her looks now that I am 31 and have been thru enough emotional train wreck girls in my life.

[JamesHunt]

I'm generally attracted to artists, but too many of them are "starving".And essentially being their sugar mama gets old fast. I want someone to take care of ME a little too. ;)

So a handsome talented artist with one hell of a personality is no good?

[Nicole Dupre]

So a handsome talented artist with one hell of a personality is no good?
Not if I have to give him money all the time. No. lol

[buckjohnson]

A great personality is forever. Looks fade, body discovers gravity, hormones quit working....

[iamdrgonzo]

I believe that physical attraction is an important part of any relationship but that personality is the glue that binds.

I know plenty of women who were/are super hot but had/have no personality. They solely rely/relied upon their looks for everything and by the time they reach(ed) their late 30's and early 40's their "looks" have/had abandonded them for better or for worse.

Beauty is only skin deep.