Being a TS and self worth

[Birgitta]

You know,
Of course I have known some T girls... and
the feminine at heart care very much about how they look,
and can be dreadfully insecure about it too.

Many of them up to a point that they dont think they are
worth anything at all because of the fact that they are a TS,
and not a beauty queen, makes them feel like nothing
else they do matters for they will always be judged finally
as not being woman enough, being a man etc being a freak
u name it.

In the scene the one's that are most feminine are naturally
appreciated most, the one's that are not can expect the
most dreadfull comments by both their supposed sisters
and tlovers (let alone outsiders).

Something is very wrong about this. But you cant change it.
I would like to encourage all tgirls that need to be encouraged to not
let your self worth or womanhood depend on how you are
judged by other people. I know it is hard, but in the end that
seems to be the best thing to do. Otherwise your life can become
so miserable.

I am just learning that I am a good person, and allthough I do
care about how I look and will probably always try to look okay,
I have this desire to never judge myself and my self worth
ever again by the way I look.

It is going to be tough ! But I am worth it and if men dont want to be
with me or rather be with a pretty girl they should. Its their loss
ultimately because I have a lot of love to offer.

hugs
Birgitta

[BigDF]

That is a beautiful post, Birgit.:Bowdown::Bowdown::Bowdown:

[traLika]

I agree, Birgitta: looking in the mirror too much is not good for the soul. I admire your integrity and I hope your new approach brings you happiness. You deserve it!

[Yvonne183]

In the scene the one's that are most feminine are naturally
appreciated most, the one's that are not can expect the
most dreadfull comments by both their supposed sisters
and tlovers (let alone outsiders).

When I went to tgirl bars back when in NYC this attitude above was common. This put me off going to tgirl bars so I just went to dance clubs.

Not to sound pity again, but I was not fully accepted back then, I didn't follow the tranny rule book on how to dress and act. And most guys wanted a tgirl that I wasn't. But that's OK being alone has it's good points too...lol If I did meet someone then more than likely they were really interested in me and not some image they were seeking.


You always have nice thoughts Brigitta, you're very sweet.

[BellaBellucci]

I agree in theory, and I decry our current social climate in which beauty is everything, but I also think you underestimate its importance. A more balanced approach may be helpful in your attempt to reclaim more self esteem.

~BB~

[Stoked]

I agree in theory, and I decry our current social climate in which beauty is everything but I also think you underestimate its importance. A more balanced approach may be helpful in your attempt to reclaim more self esteem.

~BB~

Bella is absolutely correct and I will add that many men age into accepting a womans personality and self worth over their beauty. Those who cant see the person underneath the facade usually arent worth the time. Sometimes the extreme physically beautiful women attract those who only see such shallow things ... makes you wonder doesnt it?

[MrF]

Doesn't a lot of this have to do with how passable the TS is ? Is going in public dressed and acting as a man a viable option when you're not in a "TS-friendly" venue ? Not trying to cause trouble, just asking.

And btw, the effect of one's looks on self-worth is a universal problem; it affects all of us. So at least you know you're in the same boat as everyone else. It's just the way the world works. What I try to do personally is focus on the stuff I can control -- physical conditioning, weight, hygiene, grooming, and a moderate attention to style -- and for the rest: c'est la vie.

Still, I imagine it's worse for TS's for various reasons.

[robertlouis]

That is a beautifully phrased declaration of intent, Birgitta, and I sincerely hope you succeed. You have friends here who will help as much as they can - count me in, please.

[phobun]

You know,
Of course I have known some T girls... and
the feminine at heart care very much about how they look,
and can be dreadfully insecure about it too.

Many of them up to a point that they dont think they are
worth anything at all because of the fact that they are a TS,
and not a beauty queen, makes them feel like nothing
else they do matters for they will always be judged finally
as not being woman enough, being a man etc being a freak
u name it.

In the scene the one's that are most feminine are naturally
appreciated most, the one's that are not can expect the
most dreadfull comments by both their supposed sisters
and tlovers (let alone outsiders).

Something is very wrong about this. But you cant change it.
I would like to encourage all tgirls that need to be encouraged to not
let your self worth or womanhood depend on how you are
judged by other people. I know it is hard, but in the end that
seems to be the best thing to do. Otherwise your life can become
so miserable.

I am just learning that I am a good person, and allthough I do
care about how I look and will probably always try to look okay,
I have this desire to never judge myself and my self worth
ever again by the way I look.

It is going to be tough ! But I am worth it and if men dont want to be
with me or rather be with a pretty girl they should. Its their loss
ultimately because I have a lot of love to offer.

hugs
Birgitta


There is too much pressure put on women to be attractive. The world is a sexist place.

[lisaparadise]

You know,
Of course I have known some T girls... and
the feminine at heart care very much about how they look,
and can be dreadfully insecure about it too.

Many of them up to a point that they dont think they are
worth anything at all because of the fact that they are a TS,
and not a beauty queen, makes them feel like nothing
else they do matters for they will always be judged finally
as not being woman enough, being a man etc being a freak
u name it.

In the scene the one's that are most feminine are naturally
appreciated most, the one's that are not can expect the
most dreadfull comments by both their supposed sisters
and tlovers (let alone outsiders).

Something is very wrong about this. But you cant change it.
I would like to encourage all tgirls that need to be encouraged to not
let your self worth or womanhood depend on how you are
judged by other people. I know it is hard, but in the end that
seems to be the best thing to do. Otherwise your life can become
so miserable.

I am just learning that I am a good person, and allthough I do
care about how I look and will probably always try to look okay,
I have this desire to never judge myself and my self worth
ever again by the way I look.

It is going to be tough ! But I am worth it and if men dont want to be
with me or rather be with a pretty girl they should. Its their loss
ultimately because I have a lot of love to offer.

hugs
Birgittagood insite there kiddo but the sad fact is that people will always look at the shell first and then decide to either look inside or walk away.whats really inportant is how you look at yourself,you need to find your inner strenths some have it but most dont and most of all dont compare yourself to others just compare yourself to who you were starting out.there are far too many of our sisters who are dilussional in thinking there unclockable and there the ones who usually are miserable and have issues.just keep it real be nice to everyone and always smile and enjoy life as best as you can cause theres always another whos worse off then you,try and remember that.

[yodajazz]

Great post Birgitta! I had just finished a post about, what I see as the place of transexuals in the human condition.

http://www.hungangels.com/vboard/showthread.php?p=919816#post919816

For this thread, I will add one of my favorite Bible passages. It says; "judge not by appearances, but use righteous judgment". In this case, it means to look a a person's behavior as being more important than their looks. Having lived a long time, I have seen that people who live right(eous), seem to get better looking over time, and have longer healthier lives. I'm not the only one, many people can see the beauty in others, who do such things as; give to others out of love, and are dedicated to productive things. I believe that the t community sometimes does not get enough lessons in good judgment, due to lack of support from family members, and the general community. This is why I see posts like Birgitta's as being important. Thanks for your posts, and for being here.

[LibertyHarkness]

i wish all girls could harness the strength to become Steel with their emotions and feelings ...it saddens me many are not as they get picked apart, hide, worry to much and live in the shadows when in reality they are Titans ..

.

[Brandi Boots]

As I tend not to fit the normal role of a Tgurl, I was very worried in the beginning how I would be accepted. I decided that I was going to be who I am and screw the reactions. I dressed how I wanted and went where I wanted, and you know what? In the end I have a great group of friends who accept me with all my quirkiness. Many guys are not looking for a strong gurl like me and thats just fine. I dont want to have to deal with their insecurities anyway! The truth is, lots of guys are attracted to women who radiate strong personalities, and those are the ones I want to know anyway.

The moral here is no matter what you look like or act like, FUCK the people who cant deal with us gurls. Its their loss for never getting to know us. There are tons of other people who will be grateful to get to know a special gurl. You just have to be willing to look for them.

Like Liberty said; "Steel"

[phobun]

Great post Birgitta! I had just finished a post about, what I see as the place of transexuals in the human condition.

http://www.hungangels.com/vboard/showthread.php?p=919816#post919816

For this thread, I will add one of my favorite Bible passages. It says; "judge not by appearances, but use righteous judgment". In this case, it means to look a a person's behavior as being more important than their looks. Having lived a long time, I have seen that people who live right(eous), seem to get better looking over time, and have longer healthier lives. I'm not the only one, many people can see the beauty in others, who do such things as; give to others out of love, and are dedicated to productive things. I believe that the t community sometimes does not get enough lessons in good judgment, due to lack of support from family members, and the general community. This is why I see posts like Birgitta's as being important. Thanks for your posts, and for being here.


I would steer clear of ancient texts of ignorant and misogynistic morality. There are also plenty of biblical passages that could be used to condemn her.

[Belial]

Great post Birgitta! I had just finished a post about, what I see as the place of transexuals in the human condition.

http://www.hungangels.com/vboard/showthread.php?p=919816#post919816

For this thread, I will add one of my favorite Bible passages. It says; "judge not by appearances, but use righteous judgment". In this case, it means to look a a person's behavior as being more important than their looks. Having lived a long time, I have seen that people who live right(eous), seem to get better looking over time, and have longer healthier lives. I'm not the only one, many people can see the beauty in others, who do such things as; give to others out of love, and are dedicated to productive things. I believe that the t community sometimes does not get enough lessons in good judgment, due to lack of support from family members, and the general community. This is why I see posts like Birgitta's as being important. Thanks for your posts, and for being here.

All She-males are tools of the Devil!

[rockabilly]

Too much emphasis is put on outer beauty.

Style over substance.

Birgitta always makes great genuine posts.

[Birgitta]

There is too much pressure put on women to be attractive. The world is a sexist place.

Says someone who thinks middle aged ts girls should not transition because they make life of other trannies difficult.

[Birgitta]

All She-males are tools of the Devil!

Lol..

[Birgitta]

i wish all girls could harness the strength to become Steel with their emotions and feelings ...it saddens me many are not as they get picked apart, hide, worry to much and live in the shadows when in reality they are Titans ..

.

Hug!!!!

[Birgitta]

good insite there kiddo but the sad fact is that people will always look at the shell first and then decide to either look inside or walk away.whats really inportant is how you look at yourself,you need to find your inner strenths some have it but most dont and most of all dont compare yourself to others just compare yourself to who you were starting out.there are far too many of our sisters who are dilussional in thinking there unclockable and there the ones who usually are miserable and have issues.just keep it real be nice to everyone and always smile and enjoy life as best as you can cause theres always another whos worse off then you,try and remember that.


Hi lisa!!!

Yeah you are right I know this too, i should not compare myself with gg's but with how I was before, I am very rational about myself...whenever I go out I think that everyone knows and see's that I am a TS, and I make no secret of it never.. But lol, I also know there are quite a few people that dont notice anything and actually that scares me more then being "clockable". I just want to look good because it gives me the feeling I can beat the world as a TS. People dont care what you are, if you look good they are ok with it.
But when you dont pass and look bad, you can be in trouble... high school all over again.

[Yvonne183]

As I tend not to fit the normal role of a Tgurl, I was very worried in the beginning how I would be accepted. I decided that I was going to be who I am and screw the reactions. I dressed how I wanted and went where I wanted, and you know what? In the end I have a great group of friends who accept me with all my quirkiness. Many guys are not looking for a strong gurl like me and thats just fine. I dont want to have to deal with their insecurities anyway! The truth is, lots of guys are attracted to women who radiate strong personalities, and those are the ones I want to know anyway.

The moral here is no matter what you look like or act like, FUCK the people who cant deal with us gurls. Its their loss for never getting to know us. There are tons of other people who will be grateful to get to know a special gurl. You just have to be willing to look for them.

Like Liberty said; "Steel"

Bravo,, well said, anyways not fitting in can be cool.

xoxoxoxo

[phobun]

Says someone who thinks middle aged ts girls should not transition because they make life of other trannies difficult.


No, that's not what I said. I said middle aged TVs, which are not TS. TVs, especially those who are older, do not have gender dysphoria and tend not to be as happy after hormonal or surgical therapy.

If an older TS finds the strength and circumstances to finally transition, more power to them.

[yodajazz]

I would steer clear of ancient texts of ignorant and misogynistic morality. There are also plenty of biblical passages that could be used to condemn her.
If it is truth, then it is truth. I believe it. I also believe that Bible passages which promote love, understanding, and non-judgment of others, are the most important principles in the book to live by. I have found greater peace by doing so. The fact that it was written thousand of years ago, and is still true today is significant.

So are you saying that we should judge people only by their appearances, and not look at the quality of thier behavior? I think Birgitta was saying differently. How would you feel about two t-girls, with one being more beautiful physically, but she financed her transistion through stolen credit cards, vs a plainer one, who had a legitimate job, and was saving for surgeries?

[Birgitta]

Hi phobun, sorry, then i misunderstood.
But actually many ts in the west were pretty normal functioning straight guys and are bi or lesbians post op. I actually do not understand them at all but am compared to them. But then again, i dont identify with most ts. I find that really strange , makes u wonder.....

[Birgitta]

Hi phobun, sorry, then i misunderstood.
But actually many ts in the west were pretty normal functioning straight guys and are bi or lesbians post op. I actually do not understand them at all but am compared to them. But then again, i dont identify with most ts. I find that really strange , makes u wonder.....



And I have learned that "normal" straight guys that transition often succeed more in their transition because they are "their own woman" and never had the lifelong experience of being too feminine and different to be accepted as a guy.
So they have stronger ego's too.