First Interview With Joanna 'Goldenballs' Jet after the draw

[iagodelgado]

ID: Joanna, thanks for appearing live on HA to discuss the results of the World Cup draw in Leipzig.
JJ: Iago, we may have a problem. I don't think you've taken the time difference with Germany into account. The draw doesn't take place for another couple of hours.
ID: Oh, shit!
JJ: Don't worry. If we're live on HA why don't you just suck it and we'll see what comes out?
ID: Er, is there anything you can tell us about the draw?
JJ: The obvious thing is that England want to avoid the group of death thing. I just hate those snuff groups.
ID: Is there anyone you would prefer to get?
JJ: I'm a pro, Iago. I'm here to take whoever we get paired with. I've got the stamina to handle anyone. Besides, being seeded means we automatically get to start on top, and I really like that.
ID: The seeding was contentious, wasn't it?
JJ: Seeding is always contentious. So what's your point?
ID: Well, England are ranked 9th in the world, while the US are 7th, but England got seeded and the US didn't.
JJ: What can I say? The US team are going through a sticky patch right now. The girls just can't seem to get it on with each other. They don't have a settled squad or a team captain yet. Besides, Scotland are ranked 61st in the world, and they held the US to a 1:1 draw at Hampden a couple of weeks ago.
ID: Would you mind if I sent a pic of you to HA?
JJ: As long as you keep it above the waist. I din't have time to put the shorts on.

[partlycloudy]

http://tinypic.com/iddiz8.jpg

[iagodelgado]

ID: Nice strip.
JJ: Thanks, but the cup is 6 months away. I expect you see a lot of strips from me in that time.
ID: What about your position in the team. Some say you're under pressure to hold your position down.
JJ: Balls! Total and utter balls! Like I said I'm a pro so I'm up the hard times. Besides, I'm totally versatile. If I'm in the centre, my job is to give penetration, and trust me, when it comes to penetration, no one masters searching balls like me. Or I can go out wide, where my job is to make sure the other girls get service, and everybody knows that whipping balls into the box is my speciality. So I'm confident of coming out on top!
ID: Who are the real threats in the Cup?
JJ: To state the obvious, Brazil. The girls from Brazil start so young their ball control is amazing.
ID: Anyone else?
JJ: The hosts, Germany, obviously. Germany are always well disciplined and you can always see them grinding the opposition down.
ID: Any surprise packages?
JJ: I don't want to blow my own trumpet, but I think we've got a better chance than most. The team is a well balanced mix of established pros like me, but we've got some real tasty ladies coming through. Farrah is enough to set anyone on fire, and judging by her recent appearances, she is going to come good at just the right time.
ID: Thanks for getting me out of a hard spot, JJ. Just to finish off, are there any issues you like to raise?
JJ: Well, there is the possible problem that the Italians are not taking the hormone regulations to seriously. I'm all for hard tackles. In fact, everybody knows my tackles harder than most. But we've got this photo from an Italian training session and it looks like they've stopped the female hormones.
ID: Ouch, I see what you mean. That makes the eyes water. Thanks for the interview, and I look forward to seeing more of you in future.
JJ: You can certainly look forward to seeing much more of me in the coming months.

[NickTheQuick]

LMAO at that pic. It's a little hard to tell since the pic is a bit dark, but the big guy is helping the little guy readjust his cup. For those who don't know that little guy was a damn good player named Paul Gascoigne, and the other guy is Vinnie Jones and you might recognize him from movies like "Snatch", "Lock, Stock, and 2 Smoking Barrels", "Swordfish", "Eurotrip", and "Gone is 60 Seconds". He tends to play tough and mean sons-of-bitches but he was far meaner as a player.

I am curious to see the group of death myself. My guess is Brazil, Paraguay, Netherlands, and USA.

-Sepp

[MoonAndStar]

man just look at gaza from a young pup to whats hes become..... he will always be a legend.... but his recent troubles along with his departure from kettering will seriously fuck him up.... gazza should learn from george best's mistakes...

anyway im off to watch the world cup draw..... come on england!

:lol: :lol: :lol:

[MoonAndStar]

na we got a good chance.... on paper we are one of the best teams in the cup

[gaiseric]

We might have one of the best teams on paper but the England team's problems always start when they go on the pitch and try to play the game

[MoonAndStar]

well at least the draw helped us a bit..... we should go through as group winners or 2nd to sweeden..... and if we get on a role.... the likes of lampard, terry, gerrad, wright-phillips and rooney will run riot on germany.... and can match the likes of ronaldiniho, adriano and kaka.

brazil and italy are in difficult groups..... brazil will qualify but it will be a good fight for second place between austraila, japan and coratia.

[NickTheQuick]

I think that Groups C and E are gonna send 2 damn good 3rd place finishers home. All the others, at least on paper, have a clear-cut 1-2 punch. Then again they don't play on paper. Germany's group especially is a fucking joke.

[iagodelgado]

JJ: Germany looks like an easy ride. Agreed!
JJ: England are looking hard. Mighty hard. I think we are in there!
JJ: Got to say, when it comes to the group of death, nothing personal, but I think it might be the U.S. Italy and Euro demons Czech Republic. Bugger me! No that is what I call really tough.
ID: And the gropu of death?
JJ: Has to be Argentina, Ivory Coast, Serbia and whoever and Holland. I mean Van Der Saar, Van Nistelroy, Drohgba. And then are the Argies too!
Must watch these ladies. Love to see who comes out on top!
ID: Thanks, JJ, Can we have a smile?

[LG]

MoonAndStar wrote:

na we got a good chance.... on paper we are one of the best teams in the cup

Pity that football isn't played on paper.

To me, England's biggest problem, aside from the lack of players who are comfortable passing and shooting with either foot, is Sven Goran Eriksson. Against Brazil in 2002, England should have done better but despite scoring first and playing against ten men for much of the game they died with a whimper against a strong Brazil team.

Four years on, Brazil are stronger. Argentina and France are less likely to self destruct. Germany are playing at home. Holland, who are eternally lacking the belief and unity neccessary to make the final step to triumph, are looking strong.

England should get through an easy group. Considering that there is one group which includes both Argentina and the Netherlands and one with both Italy and the Czech Republic, that Mexico and Portugal are will have to play against each other and so will Spain and Ukraine, England have it easy. They are clear favourites to win their group.

But after that, I'm not sure if the stellar talents of Rooney, Gerrard, Lampard, Terry and Beckham will be enough, even with able support from Ferdinand (or Campbell), Owen, Ashley Cole and Gary Neville. On paper the first XI is as good as any other nation's (bar Brazil's) and the remaining squad is decent enough to plug any gaps (though England desperately need Rooney to be fit to have any chance). But is it enough? I'm not convinced.

My money's on Brazil, but I expect Holland to do well. Germany will probably overachieve once again, despite most of their players not being worth tuppence (a few honourable exceptions are Ballack and Lahm and some of the youngsters like Podolsky and Schweinsteiger).

As for upsets- I think Iran, despite being in a tough group, might surprise a few people if they can get through. Korea could do well once again and maybe Croatia.

And as for the US, they're in a very tough group. I doubt they can get through, but who knows.

[joannajet]

Hi iagodelgado,

Thank you for your posts, they brought me a great big smile.

I would gladly get my kit off for the England squad, but I think they would all run in the wrong direction for fear of being photographed with me by the Paperazzi!!

Kisses,


Joanna Jet
xxx