Went To Take A Dump, Jerked Off On The Toilet... Oops... Forgot To Wipe After

[Dino Velvet]

The itching in my crack is madness... Pure Madness, I tell you! This occasionally happens when I have a morning pull. Hoping I could get through the day without showering but not sure I'm going to make it. I've worn down the bristles on a hair brush from scratching and now it's starting to bleed. Damn you, Bin Laden!

[Faldur]

http://www.bobrobertsonline.co.uk/uploads/des-zyg-bob.jpg

[nevada64]

The itching in my crack is madness... Pure Madness, I tell you! This occasionally happens when I have a morning pull. Hoping I could get through the day without showering but not sure I'm going to make it. I've worn down the bristles on a hair brush from scratching and now it's starting to bleed. Damn you, Bin Laden!


This reminds me of the Twitter culture we find ourselves in. Narcissists who have a need to tell whomever will listen when, where, and how they shat that day. We're doomed...:sad:

[Dino Velvet]

This reminds me of the Twitter culture we find ourselves in. Narcissists who have a need to tell whomever will listen when, where, and how they shat that day. We're doomed...:sad:

Maybe I should get one of those Twitter thing-a-ma-jigs. I'd have a place to give a blow by blow of all my bowel movements.

"Follow your nose and you'll follow Dino Velvet."

[nevada64]

Maybe I should get one of those Twitter thing-a-ma-jigs. I'd have a place to give a blow by blow of all my bowel movements.

"Follow your nose and you'll follow Dino Velvet."

Yes, you should get right on that. There are thousands out there whom are anticipating reports on your next bowel movement. Again, we're doomed... I predict we'll all be speaking Chinese in 50 years.

[Dino Velvet]

Note to self: Remember to buy Economy Size Mega Roll Charmin Ultra-Strong when you go to the Ralph's this afternoon.

[Ineeda SM]

Yes Dino we are all hanging on by a hair to hear what happened with your most current waste evacuation. We want the details. Like hard, soft, little balls long and narrow, or short and fat. Or maybe long and fat the way you like them. The color and temperature of each stool speciman..... well, you get the idea. Keep us up to date.

PS. I hope the itching is better.

[CORVETTEDUDE]

Sounds like Larry David!!!

[Dino Velvet]

Yes Dino we are all hanging on by a hair to hear what happened with your most current waste evacuation. We want the details. Like hard, soft, little balls long and narrow, or short and fat. Or maybe long and fat the way you like them. The color and temperature of each stool speciman..... well, you get the idea. Keep us up to date.

PS. I hope the itching is better.

I had a lotta spinach tonight so it was real stringy. I took a peak between my knees and it looked like wet green seaweed hanging on for its life from one of my more generous dingleberries.

Note To Self: I forgot to buy Economy Size Mega Roll Charmin Ultra-Strong when I went to the Ralph's this afternoon. Must return tomorrow and to buy Economy Size Mega Roll Charmin Ultra-Strong when I go to the Ralph's. Also... unplug computer and bring it with you tomorrow when you go to the Ralph's to buy Economy Size Mega Roll Charmin Ultra-Strong. This is the only way you will remember.

Sorry for switching tenses. I hate grammar errors as much as the next fella or dame but I changed form toward the end and am typing with hoofs instead of hands now. It's not easy. You should try it sometime. Time for another hit.

[Ineeda SM]

Thanks for the update Dino. We all look forward to the next evac report.

[Dino Velvet]

Thanks for the update Dino. We all look forward to the next evac report.

Don't sleep on it. My next pinch could be right around the corner. I had the #7 Beef & Broccoli Special tonight.

[CORVETTEDUDE]

And...You guys actually think he's kiddin'!!!:whistle:

[Dino Velvet]

CORVETTEDUDE is not only a NAVY SEAL but also an expert on my system. He knows how efficiently I expel my shells into the sea and how fast I can reload for yet another encounter with the Lake Of The Damned.

[CORVETTEDUDE]

CORVETTEDUDE is not only a NAVY SEAL but also an expert on my system. He knows how efficiently I expel my shells into the sea and how fast I can reload for yet another encounter with the Lake Of The Damned.


Knowing your environment is essential!:dancing:

[Dino Velvet]

Knowing your environment is essential!:dancing:

You probably have a gas mask at the ready when you come to Los Angeles anyway. How long has it been since you've been out here?

[CORVETTEDUDE]

You probably have a gas mask at the ready when you come to Los Angeles anyway. How long has it been since you've been out here?

Would you believe '88?!

[Dino Velvet]

Would you believe '88?!

Fuck. All your favorite gals are out here. I'm sure they would welcome you with open funholes if they knew you were coming out. Time for a Summer Trip.

[CORVETTEDUDE]

Fuck. All your favorite gals are out here. I'm sure they would welcome you with open funholes if they knew you were coming out. Time for a Summer Trip.

I think you've got somethin' there!

[BigDF]

I had a lotta spinach tonight so it was real stringy. I took a peak between my knees and it looked like wet green seaweed hanging on for its life from one of my more generous dingleberries.

Note To Self: I forgot to buy Economy Size Mega Roll Charmin Ultra-Strong when I went to the Ralph's this afternoon. Must return tomorrow and to buy Economy Size Mega Roll Charmin Ultra-Strong when I go to the Ralph's. Also... unplug computer and bring it with you tomorrow when you go to the Ralph's to buy Economy Size Mega Roll Charmin Ultra-Strong. This is the only way you will remember.

Sorry for switching tenses. I hate grammar errors as much as the next fella or dame but I changed form toward the end and am typing with hoofs instead of hands now. It's not easy. You should try it sometime. Time for another hit.Peek and hooves, my friend and you don't need to be on Twitter; you should start your own network for your stuff. You could call it Shitter, the place to post your moving experiences.:dancing::)

[CORVETTEDUDE]

Peek and hooves, my friend and you don't need to be on Twitter; you should start your own network for your stuff. You could call it Shitter, the place to post your moving experiences.:dancing::)

Dino's grammarical and spelling errors are the least of his worries!!!:dancing::whistle:

[Prospero]

Maybe Dino is Larry David under a pseudonymn. Give him his own cable show.

[Dino Velvet]

Maybe Dino is Larry David under a pseudonymn. Give him his own cable show.

Me and him are definitely from different tribes.

[CORVETTEDUDE]

Me and him are definitely from different tribes.


You're from the Assalota tribe??? And Larry's from the Assiam tribe???:whistle:

[Dino Velvet]

You're from the Assalota tribe??? And Larry's from the Assiam tribe???:whistle:

Larry David is a Jew. My people liked Jews as long as they were served on a dinner plate.

[Ineeda SM]

And...You guys actually think he's kiddin'!!!:whistle:

That's the saddest part of all. I know he is not kidding. But I have learned to accept Dino for who and what he is. So I just play along and help keep his mind churning.

[Dino Velvet]

That's the saddest part of all. I know he is not kidding. But I have learned to accept Dino for who and what he is. So I just play along and help keep his mind churning.

Thank you, sir. I'm very agreeable as long as I'm kept in proper restraints.

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