Guys and Transsexuals?????

[Adam_Thompson]

I was wondering if any guys on here address the psychological ramifications of hiding their sexuality to people in their real life. I have a friend that just came out and says he is 200% better mentally now that he does not have to hide who he is. It's cool cause he has PRIDE meetings, parades, siestas (j/k), and real support, while men guys like US usually get the most advice and help from forums like this (not shitting on HA at all either). The girls get help from other girls I guess, but it seems OUR community has a long ways to go. I wonder if some guys even consider themselves part of this community or wish to incorporate themselves more into it.

Just a random thought I figured I would share.

[4DegreesWarmer]

I wonder if some guys even consider themselves part of this community or wish to incorporate themselves more into it.

I'm not sure I get that...if you're referring to the gay/tg community, then no I wouldn't prefer to be involved in it because I consider myself neither gay nor transgendered.

Though, I'm sure having a group of guys around who all could relate to my attraction would be comforting in some way(it'd be great to bring of tg porn or point a hot tgirl and not have other friends freak out), but at the same time I am also happy that I've worked/working(whatever you are or do, you're always a work in progress) out my issues by my lonesome. I find that I gain a lot more fulfillment from introspection as opposed to group thinking...I'd rather have the least amount of outside influence as possible.

I'm glad you brought of psychology in general because I'm often trying to garner a better understanding of myself, as well as others.

[Hara_Juku Tgirl]

The girls get help from other girls I guess.

If that statement was true..you wouldnt see gurls tearing another gurl up. Its a sad reality. And Ive said this on a different thread..The ts/tg comunity is rather small and in the minority..hence creating segregation or separation of pacts (by people who creates them) would only weaken the community as awhole.

If anything ts/tg should be supportive of one another. And the guys who are into them as well. But from observation, based on what i saw and read at some threads..thats not what is happening. The most opinionated judgemental people are the less attractive or educated etc. The one's who tries to bring a fellow guy or trannies down wether because one is in porn, works as an escort or whatever the case maybe. Its not right any which way you look at it.

~Kisses.

HTG

[JohnnyWalkerBlackLabel]

while men guys like US usually get the most advice and help from forums like this (not shitting on HA at all either). The girls get help from other girls I guess, but it seems OUR community has a long ways to go. I wonder if some guys even consider themselves part of this community or wish to incorporate themselves more into it.

damn good topic 1st off

secondly let me say this, personally no guy will ever attract me, which is weird considering I flirt with tgirls ALOT, but I don't consider them guys, at least the ones I mess with.................. women like Allanah, Dina, Sunny, Giselle, & Jade go through all that work to get groped by guys like me, they aren't men, those are WOMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thirdly I just want to say I am thankful everyday for the guys like US.........
you have no idea how comforting it is to be around guys that actually think some of the same things.........................some of the same things, lol

[TrueBeauty TS]

The girls get help from other girls I guess.

If that statement was true..you wouldnt see gurls tearing another gurl up. Its a sad reality. And Ive said this on a different thread..The ts/tg comunity is rather small and in the minority..hence creating segregation or separation of pacts (by people who creates them) would only weaken the community as awhole.

If anything ts/tg should be supportive of one another. And the guys who are into them as well. But from observation, based on what i saw and read at some threads..thats not what is happening. The most opinionated judgemental people are the less attractive or educated etc. The one's who tries to bring a fellow guy or trannies down wether because one is in porn, works as an escort or whatever the case maybe. Its not right any which way you look at it.

~Kisses.

HTG


Goddamit....... I write a big long reply to this post and when I click on "submit" it dumps me and I lose the entire post!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, I'm not going to re-write the whole thing but trust me, it was good.

I want to scream!!!

[hwbs]

agreed....its good to not feel alone and stuff like that.....good to meet people that are like u except for the excessive T.M.I., hehe

[NYCe]

That was the point of creating this site originally. While the focus has shifted in our 4 (!!!) years of existance, its still cool to provide a shelter in a storm for some folks.

[SexxxyJade]

I live in ATL which is known for being very gay populated so im use to seeing gay guys.But with all they gay guys here the TS lovers and admirers are still "in the closet", they are all DL, or clients or sum discret type.
When i first started going to NYC, and Allannahs parties i was amazed, almost shocked to see they many guys that clicked together as TS admirers. Made me feel more comfortable myself, all warm inside even. like i was a real woman. There were actually a room full of guys who were attracted to me, and none of them were trying to hide.
I wasnt use to getting this feeling unless i was at a str8 club, hiding the fact that im a TS ( which i do quite often because of the enviornment i live in).
Im sure many of you will see that when im at the parties im clicked with the guys instead of the girls, thats just how cool i find it that they are all hanging like that " Far outtt Dude!!!"
I just wanna say i think its great, and hopefully one day NYC's liberal ways will spread across the rest of the world.
Big ups guys.

[NYCe]

Goddamit....... I write a big long reply to this post and when I click on "submit" it dumps me and I lose the entire post!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, I'm not going to re-write the whole thing but trust me, it was good.

I want to scream!!!Awww. The old "I lost it" story? Well, don't get your boxers all bunched up now, Sweetie. Post it again. We'll wait. And let's see a pic of that pretty testo-free face of yours, while you're at it. We're all just either sisters or admirers here, you know? ;)

Come on, keep this post drama. This site isn't about to turn into ...overthere.

[hwbs]

she has posted pics up here many times :D ......very nice person

[Adam_Thompson]

Back on topic?????

[DJ_Asia]

I have been into T-girls since my early teems,the moment I laid eyes on old skool girl Sulka,I was hooked.

I kept the fascination hidden,and in denial about it even to myself.Years of mental self abuse took its toll.
Finally I matured enough to admit to myself that this is what I liked and it wasnt a crime,nor a bad thing.My closest friend knew about it,although it was an unspoken rule not to bring it up.
In 2001 I allowed a very famous T-girl move in with me when I still lived in LA after she experienced a run of badluck,and soon more of friends became aware of my "secret".
However coming out to my family and pretty much everybody who knew me didnt happen until 2003.I struggled with the decision to tell them or not to thell them.I asked many of TS friends and they all warned me not to.However having a TS g/f and never bringing her to family funtions and holiday gatherings and having to lie about it,got tiring.
I finally i gathered my immediate family and broke out G-rated pics of many of the girls I had dated recently.I allowed everybody to look at them before I told them that they were all TS.Although my father thinks im gay(im not)they all accepted it w/o hesitation nor any noticeable change of treatment towards me.Telling my family was one of the best things I ever did...but it was a very scary thing to do.

As far as a community,its sad to see the people here and on every board I know of talk smack about one another.One has to realize that the "straight" community neither accepts us in general,nor understands our openmindedness and respect of TS as women.Likewise the gay community doesnt accept us for the most part either,although its not as bad as it was say 10 years ago.

Once you find yourself immersed in this community and become more active in the community than just whacking away at the computer desk,you will understand that this community truly needs to stop the BS and backstabbing and support each other.

DJ Asia

[Adam_Thompson]

alrighty then

[Legend]

Although i dont think im hiding my sexuality just because i like t-girls i would support any of my freind if they did that,the reason i join this site was to get advice from many diffrent prospectives.

[JohnnyWalkerBlackLabel]

The so called fighting that goes on here in HA really isn't fighting, it's more of a battle of words............ I look forward to that battle everyday, but here is the thing, at the end of the day I'll sit in private messages with many of you talking about shit other than HA. Just like I sit in private messages with many of the girls talking about ANYTHING ELSE other than shit they hear everyday from possible clientele......... I will admit sometimes the drama takes a turn the wrong way but thats what we do.........

[Legend]

she has posted pics up here many times :D ......very nice personI just saw her pics. She is a pretty girl.

And I was informed that she gets sarcastic too. But I actually like that.

My apologies, my TS sister. But please be nice. OK? :)

Don't ever listen to what people tell you, talk with the person first before make judgement on them.

[BlackAdder]

Ive lost entire posts here before....some strange key combination and im like FUCK FUCK....


/sigh

[Adam_Thompson]

and there goes this thread...bye bye



Original Post before it gets lost in the arguments:
I was wondering if any guys on here address the psychological ramifications of hiding their sexuality to people in their real life. I have a friend that just came out and says he is 200% better mentally now that he does not have to hide who he is. It's cool cause he has PRIDE meetings, parades, siestas (j/k), and real support, while men guys like US usually get the most advice and help from forums like this (not shitting on HA at all either). The girls get help from other girls I guess, but it seems OUR community has a long ways to go. I wonder if some guys even consider themselves part of this community or wish to incorporate themselves more into it.

Just a random thought I figured I would share.

[hwbs]

another HA jacking :?

[Ecstatic]

I was wondering if any guys on here address the psychological ramifications of hiding their sexuality to people in their real life.
Not sure about psychological ramifications of hiding my sexuality: I'm open about it with a lot of people (those who I know understand), and I don't talk about it with those who would not. I don't talk to many people (outside of forums like this, that is) about my personal sexual involvement with tgirls, but that's for other reasons, primarily that too many simply wouldn't understand that I wasn't cheating on my wife (I'm not; she's very happy that I have this outlet and has even met my closest ts friend and talked with her on the phone). It's much simpler for us both if I don't bring that up with family and most of our friends. But I am quite open about knowing and being friends with ts, and have talked with many friends and family members about this community and (from my limited perspective) what it means to be transgendered. Almost every single person has been open and receptive and honestly wanted to know more and understand what is, to 97% of Americans, a mystery. They've all seen TS on tv (from Maury to Nip/Tuck) and in the news (golfer Mianne Bagger to singer Dana International), but don't know much at all about it. I think being open in discussing transgender issues with those not at all involved in the community is a positive thing.

I'm also very comfortable being out in public with any of my TS friends. No girl need feel self-conscious or that I'm self-conscious about being seen with her in public. (Well, I might be a little self-conscious about being seen with any truly beautiful woman in public, like why's this gorgeous girl with me?! but that's quite different.)

I think forums like HA are a vital part of the community, but no one forum can cover all the ground, and you need to participate in different forums, and more importantly, in real life to approach any real perspective. Many guys come to HA with only a porn-eye view of TS, but I've watched many open up and grow their understanding in the forum (and some who sadly haven't).

[Donko]

Fuck off. Why question someone's lifestyle- no one here is a doctor so shut the fuck up - Arianna

[JohnnyWalkerBlackLabel]

Honestly I don't feel the need to visit other forums, everyone in this community that is really anyone of importance frequents this board, even if they claim to be on 'vacation' from us, LMAO

I think it's been about a year that I've been on this board, I have to say that every other forum that has been established regarding tgirls that i know of has NOT lived up to the hype, in fact many of them have failed.

Regarding your original topic, I answered it already but I'll reiterate it even more simply............... to each his own, do you, if you like what you like so be it, no one has the right to label you or anyone else, only GOD can do that

[BeardedOne]

"Out" is relative and the only relative I was ever "out" with was my mom, who I'm pretty sure thought I was gay no matter what I said or did. She was a bit confused that I seemed to consistently date lesbians, so it's a sure bet that her eyes were opened to variations on the 'norm'.

What or who I do behind closed doors is really nobody's business beyond the sekrit cameras and whoever I happen to be doing at the time. :shock: I'm fairly open about who I am and how I think (On those rare occasions that I do, indeed, think), so most people know my proclivities or at least have their own idea of what they may be.

My closest friends know all about my sexual leanings (Some more than others) and just pass it off as another odd quirk of mine. :)

As for 'psychological ramifications', I'm pretty much of a headcase anyway and my sexuality played only a small role in that trainwreck. :roll:

[Ecstatic]

Honestly I don't feel the need to visit other forums, everyone in this community that is really anyone of importance frequents this board, even if they claim to be on 'vacation' from us, LMAO

I think it's been about a year that I've been on this board, I have to say that every other forum that has been established regarding tgirls that i know of has NOT lived up to the hype, in fact many of them have failed.
Well, JW, you probably know that this is the number one board for me (look at my post count--do I need a life or what?), but it's hardly the only word, and many people of importance don't frequent the board (or at least don't participate, which is almost worse because they aren't contributing): first example to come to mind, Danielle Foxxx. Joanna Jett drops in once in a blue moon, but it would be great if she came here more often. And there are many others.

But more importantly, there are other slants and perspectives which one can gain from different boards: SER for the escort scene, forums that focus on ladyboys or other subsets of the scene, boards hosted by individual girls (like Vicki Richter or Aniyah for example), or boards hosted by pay sites like Yum and Franks. However, I agree that most boards do not live up to the hype, and a great many have failed. HA is outstanding and diverse, but it has its limits and community foci (fortunately more than one focus), and there's a lot to be gained from at least occasionally checking in on other boards, depending on your interests.

[brickcitybrother]

[H]iding their sexuality to people in their real life...

That's a big leap to make. I find it far from common that I'm discussing my sexuality with anyone. Family and friends will have already formed their own notions (correct or not). Everyone else (outside of the one's you're interested in) need not know that information ... presuming that you have a sexuality - personally seem to think there are quite a few people for whom sex and their sexuality is the farest thing on their mind.

As stated above, those of us who find transsexuals appealing and desirable as a partner may not be hiding anything, to think that we are because of what we find attractice is a big leap. I'm not jumping... you?

[AllanahStarrNYC]

I had an epiphany walking home from the gym yesterday.

I suddenly really, deeeply realized that I am at the point in my life where I truly do not care what people, think, judge, or say about me.

I think it came from watching 'Torch Song Trilogy' the other night on Logo- and Harvey Fierstein says something very poignant while having a fight with Anne Bancroft- it when something like this-

"I have thought myself to cook, clean, sew, plumbing, to bild furniture, and pay myself on the back if need be. But there is one thing you should know-all is ask is for love and respect, and if someone can't give me both, they have no place in my life at all".

This board is great because if does offer a support system in mnay ways for guys who have a lot of question about themselves regarding their attraction to transsexuals.

I hope that everyone who has interest in us oneday in their lifes will get rid of all the baggage and guilt busllshit that comes woth this attraction.

I guess that's why I am single- I won't compromise myself and who I am for anyone.

Did that already- was very unhappy in retrospect.

[Dkg]

[H]iding their sexuality to people in their real life...

That's a big leap to make. I find it far from common that I'm discussing my sexuality with anyone. Family and friends will have already formed their own notions (correct or not). Everyone else (outside of the one's you're interested in) need not know that information ... presuming that you have a sexuality - personally seem to think there are quite a few people for whom sex and their sexuality is the farest thing on their mind.

As stated above, those of us who find transsexuals appealing and desirable as a partner may not be hiding anything, to think that we are because of what we find attractice is a big leap. I'm not jumping... you?

Hmm, well i see what you're saying but eventually you'll come to a point in your life when your family is either going to wonder where the hell you're wife/girlfrined is or suspect something of you. if you DO have a girlfrined and she is a TS then you can bet that everyone will eventually know that, and then whether you wanted to or not, you will have made that leap.

That is of course unless you either

A. Don't talk to or keep in touch with your family

or
B. Don't intend to publicly date or marry a TS.

I myself want what pretty much everyone else wants, i.e. family, home, and kids. However I'm not too worried since I'm still pretty young and I've still got a lot of time to figure everything out. though the same can't be said for some others here.

[JohnnyWalkerBlackLabel]

I was wondering if any guys on here address the psychological ramifications of hiding their sexuality to people in their real life.


Reading this again, I feel obliged to say I have no psycological problems from being around transexual women. But then again, in all fairness the transsexual women I USUALLY am around are better dressers, have as nice or nicer personalities, and are almost as much sexual freaks as the GG women I am around on a daily basis............. (lol, fellas no being on this earth is as horny as a GG woman, they'll fuck you in rush hour traffic if the tint is dark enough)




I wonder if some guys even consider themselves part of this community or wish to incorporate themselves more into it.

A potential community is what you have; it's just beginning to seem like one. Until Allanah's parties I would be in a room of guys that would refuse to converse with one another in what I think was a homophobe atmosphere. Those simps, when I think back to the old school days, were really weird. I go into the parties these days and I'm surrounded by dudes that are friendly, have tons of jokes to tell, and are a joy to be around............ and the ladies are also alot different. More open than in the past, but then these aren't the same ladies as the places from the past, well not all of them at least..............

[chefmike]

I'm still thinking about how sexy Allanah must look workin out...

[JohnnyWalkerBlackLabel]

lol, you should see her naked
it's a rush

[chefmike]

lol, you should see her naked
it's a rush

yeah, rub it in, asshole....

[TrueBeauty TS]

she has posted pics up here many times :D ......very nice personI just saw her pics. She is a pretty girl.

And I was informed that she gets sarcastic too. But I actually like that.

My apologies, my TS sister. But please be nice. OK? :)


Hey girl,

Thanks for the kinds words. I do apologize for butting in, but honestly, I wasn't laughing at you, I just found the way you said that a bit funny and I was playing off that. And then when you responded, you got my feathers ruffled, and.... well, you know the rest of the story.

I honestly don't like to fight with people here (except with maybe a few of the really DUMB guys around here! LOL). I like to get along with everybody but yes, I guess I do get sarcastic at times. (Bored + sarcastic = bad combination. LOL)

Anyway, I'm sorry I said the things I did and hope we can be friends.

Merry Christmas! :D
TB

[magic9inch]

this is a faze i'm going thru, cant see myself being a transexual lover for life

[BeardedOne]

I had an epiphany walking home from the gym yesterday.

Gesundheit! :D





J/K. :wink:

I hope you find the feller of your dreams. :)