Dino Velvet
11-19-2010, 10:55 AM
Thanksgiving is the one time out of the year I see my Aunt and Cousin. The house is full of phony Christian registered Republicans from Palos Verdes that enjoy exchanging interesting facts about Sean Hannity. Many people here know me as a somewhat Conservative guy but compared to them I'm George Carlin.
When I get there the first thing I do is get a glass of Bourbon. I couldn't make it through all the BS at dinner without a few snorts. My Aunt is one of these people that acts so nice you know it's insincere and she talks about you after you leave. I might be guilty of doing that right now but still.
There is one thing that I enjoy doing when I go there. There's some kick ass asparagus that's served and I really load up on it. Between the Bourbon and the asparagus when I go off for a piss you can smell it through half the house. People have to use the "good bathroom" because the other one is out of order for about 30 minutes.
I try to be one of the first ones to leave and look for the right moment to grab my coat and make my escape. When the theme from Midnight Express pops in my head I know it's time to run the gauntlet through all the phonies telling me how good it was to see me and to keep in touch. Hell, if I actually were to call them to keep in touch they'd let it go to voice mail.
Man, I used to love the holidays when I was a kid and my parents were still alive but they're Hell on Earth now.
When I get there the first thing I do is get a glass of Bourbon. I couldn't make it through all the BS at dinner without a few snorts. My Aunt is one of these people that acts so nice you know it's insincere and she talks about you after you leave. I might be guilty of doing that right now but still.
There is one thing that I enjoy doing when I go there. There's some kick ass asparagus that's served and I really load up on it. Between the Bourbon and the asparagus when I go off for a piss you can smell it through half the house. People have to use the "good bathroom" because the other one is out of order for about 30 minutes.
I try to be one of the first ones to leave and look for the right moment to grab my coat and make my escape. When the theme from Midnight Express pops in my head I know it's time to run the gauntlet through all the phonies telling me how good it was to see me and to keep in touch. Hell, if I actually were to call them to keep in touch they'd let it go to voice mail.
Man, I used to love the holidays when I was a kid and my parents were still alive but they're Hell on Earth now.