Love vs Lust

[Questioneer]

I had another meeting with Brenda (aka missBstar) again she inspired me to think about some things involving sexuality.

We talked about the possibility of hiring on escort. I said I was hesitant, and she interpreted my hesitancy as a fear of STDs. STDs should be a concern, but that isn't what is occupying my mind.

What concerns me is how my first sexual encounter with a transgendered person will happen. I want it to be real.

I want to know the person intimately, I want every kiss to have passion behind it, and when the time comes for each of us to :jerkoff I want it to be mind blowing. And afterwords I want to :Bowdown: at her feet.

So, now I am at a crossroads. I want to experience what the encounter is like, but I don't see myself living in a place where there are more than three transgendered people. Therefore, I have no one to date!

Has anyone had a problem similar to this one?

What would you do if you had my perspective?

[Mari_Mar]

Why is important that the girl you share this experience be trans?

[Questioneer]

I don't know how to answer that question.

Which may be telling...idk

Whaddya think Mari?

[Mari_Mar]

Honestly... I don't know what to think. Which is why I was trying to find out your motivation with my question.

Your overall scenario, sounds like you just want someone to be intimate with. But, you specifically want this with a T-Girl. Why? Because she's a girl with a penis? At what point does this whole thing simply break down into a fantasy for you? I would say that any good escort would excel at catering to her clients fantasies.

[Mari_Mar]

Every girl wants to be seen as sexy and desired, but not necessarily just for our genitalia...

[Questioneer]

Maybe it is just a fantasy...but I don't want a fantasy where the woman is just in it to make money. There is no passion there.

I think I'm attracted to the fearlessness of transsexuals. The ability to be themselves no matter what the world thinks. Probably because I'm searching for that.

[Mari_Mar]

I think I'm attracted to the fearlessness of transsexuals. The ability to be themselves no matter what the world thinks. Probably because I'm searching for that.

Well, it's definitely nice that you have this impression, but honestly, trans-people have just as many, (if not more) insecurities as anyone else. We care what others think, just as anyone does. Everyone has to figure out how much you'll allow the opinions of others to determine how you'll live your life.

Remember, we don't choose to be trans anymore than a cis-gender person chooses to be their gender. We may choose when we come out, or transition, or whatever. But, that's often when we've reached a point where we absolutely can't stand to live as the "wrong" gender anymore.

[LaCosa]

Quest... just my opinion, but I think you are over romanticizing about a hopeful encounter or a fantasy you've sketched out in your brain.

That's not to say there is anything wrong with being a hopeless romantic. But just try to keep it in some balance.

A lot of people that work in "escorting" are fundamentally hustlers. That's alright, hate the game not the player. But you're lookin in the wrong world for saints. I don't know about passion either, another dick another dollar. If you're a trick you ain't nothin but a trick to a [fill in the blank]. It's a rare exception a working girl will marry a trick of hers. You got better odds at the lottery. Ho's love pimps not tricks.

If you're in the United States... you might want to pick up an old classic. The autobiography of a former pimp known as Ice Berg Slim. Here in the U.S., arguably Chicago and Milwaukee are the vortex of pimping in the Midwest, maybe even the country. Pull up "Pimp Snooky" on youtube and watch the video clip of him floating on a restaurant yacht in Milwaukee and how he tries to peel away another working girl from a female pimp.

I'm not suggesting you model that cat - nor Iceberg - but I'm suggesting to you that ho's respect and fall in love with pimps but see overly romantic tricks as nothing but suckers.

Anytime you talk to a working girl she's running game on you. Always. Her mind is always on your bread (money). I don't care how nice she sounds, if she giggles at your corny jokes, or if she tells you you're the sweetest guy on earth. She has one goal, and that's to rape your wallet. And if she has a pimp that's not even optional, that's mandatory.

That's not to say you can't have a fun or enjoyable time (non-sexually or sexually) with a working girl. It doesn't mean a trick (or client) and working girl can't develop a friendship and a certain level of respect for one another. That's all possible. But you better not present yourself as overly naive.

[Mari_Mar]

Even just in the basic dating world, if a guy approaches me and all he has to talk about are his romantic ideals, it's a total turn off. Romance should be the reaction of chemistry, it should just happen between to people that connect. Not something that's discussed and then played upon.

[LaCosa]

Even just in the basic dating world, if a guy approaches me and all he has to talk about are his romantic ideals, it's a total turn off. Romance should be the reaction of chemistry, it should just happen between to people that connect. Not something that's discussed and then played upon.

Yeah, I understand that, Mari.

I don't think the Questioneer has bad intentions. But the alpha males in the working girl worlds are pimps, and in the "basic dating world" they tend to be what we call "players." At least what the "hood" terms "players" or "playas."

Why I bring that up is because the reality contradicts the disingenuous female magazines where young guys like the Questioneer likely - or at least partially - derive their perception of "what women want."

Like basketball or the corporate world... I would suggest it's better to observe or study the successful males. I would listen to a successful playa about how to attract one or more women and keep her before I would listen to Oprah or read one of those damn women magazines. I say that having been a young man that read articles in some of those magazines.

In general... women think it's all men's fault, but this is not entirely true. Not just the high divorce rate in the U.S. (although some might argue with reason that that is a sign of a good thing) but all the single mothers with irresponsible "babies daddies" evidence otherwise. Males that would make good providers and companions with fidelity and friendship, will very often loose out to cats that have children by 4 different women and are running from child support. :lol:

That's what we in the "hood" call "real talk" or "keeping it 100."

All that... "Women are just little angles with hearts of gold that never did any thing wrong, and they are just waiting around for their Prince Charming" is totally bogus. The overly romantic "nice guy" would do well to come to terms with that. Not to mention this is the year 2010 and women don't need to - and shouldn't - be sitting around just waiting on "Prince Charming." Women themselves can be alphas and they also have lives and careers of their own. If they want to get fucked they can get fucked - they don't need "Prince Charming" for that.

[DL_NL]

I agree, a relationship with a T-girl has its share of ups and downs- in some regards more so than one with a GG. I won't romanticize it in any way, but overall it's been fun for me and I've had the good luck to meet with two girls I could really connect with in a way I'd never been able to do before. It was a very powerful experience and all of us acknowledged it as extraordinary. I have some great memories and -who knows- someday I might strike gold for the third time. I don't really care if it's a T-girl or a GG in that case.

[phobun]

Maybe it is just a fantasy...but I don't want a fantasy where the woman is just in it to make money. There is no passion there.

I think I'm attracted to the fearlessness of transsexuals. The ability to be themselves no matter what the world thinks. Probably because I'm searching for that.


Oh lord. Some guys are attracted to their fearlessness, others to their minds, but no one here is so superficial to be attracted to the cock.

[phobun]

Every girl wants to be seen as sexy and desired, but not necessarily just for our genitalia...


NOT GENITALIA! "Fearlessness" or her "mind" or the "passion"

[phobun]

I had another meeting with Brenda (aka missBstar) again she inspired me to think about some things involving sexuality.

We talked about the possibility of hiring on escort. I said I was hesitant, and she interpreted my hesitancy as a fear of STDs. STDs should be a concern, but that isn't what is occupying my mind.

What concerns me is how my first sexual encounter with a transgendered person will happen. I want it to be real.

I want to know the person intimately, I want every kiss to have passion behind it, and when the time comes for each of us to :jerkoff I want it to be mind blowing. And afterwords I want to :Bowdown: at her feet.

So, now I am at a crossroads. I want to experience what the encounter is like, but I don't see myself living in a place where there are more than three transgendered people. Therefore, I have no one to date!

Has anyone had a problem similar to this one?

What would you do if you had my perspective?


I think it is weird.

[blckhaze]

You have an oldschool mindset

I was like you when i first started posting on this board years ago. I liked the visual sex on movies and pictures, and the mental fantasies were great, but I wanted the same interactions I had with females. Not necessarily hit and runs, but actually having intimacy and chemistry with each one. For you, it probably is the same, and you might have the fear that if ur first exp sucks, u wont want to do it again.

My advice is, if u cant meet a transwoman in ur daily life who gets that, go the escort route BUT choose someone who allows u to converse with her about other shit besides what youll be getting for you 200 roses. Hard task indeed, but hey u never know.

[loveburst]

Maybe it is just a fantasy...but I don't want a fantasy where the woman is just in it to make money. There is no passion there.

I think I'm attracted to the fearlessness of transsexuals. The ability to be themselves no matter what the world thinks. Probably because I'm searching for that.

That is an interesting insight to your own thinking. Very important to notice these kinds of things, and good point..

Personally I would search for my deepest passion if I were you, be it whatever it might manifest itself to be.. I would spend a little time feeling out stuff, from a point of observing things without involving much thought about them.. No judging, just simply feeling.

Some meditation could be the way to get into such a state, and perhaps even this might inspire your deeper consciousness to get into touch with the deeper feelings inside - without any form of thought, (and therefor no such thing as) judging the feeling, or negating or trying to make out wheter the ideas popping into the mind are right or wrong. Instead, simply follow the vibes..

YouTube - The Law of Attraction (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qTinoS9_XzI)

The answers might surprise you - as to what one can accomplish with a little vibes searching. It might easily, and can lead into the perfect relationship in your life manifesting for you - and other situations that also clarify your path to emerge out of what seems like nothing.

This actually has happened to me personally, I used to think also that there must be a clear splitting between love and lust. Actually my earlier relationships in life ended up being without both of them, since I had not understood it how right it is simply to be horny about something and then check out what that kind of vibe can deliver for the both parties involved.

It might sound a bit crazy, but (..after a period of doing some soul searching, and concentrating on these kinds of meditations..) I actually ended up saving 5 people out of a fire (burning house) - during a midnight jog, I got into an "election of citizens" in the local magazine, and was 2.nd option to vote for as the citizen of the year, and all my relationship stuff got sorted out during that same period..

..and the good vibes are still flowing.. So this suggestion comes from experience also, and that is why I wanted to share this point of view with you.

:)

Here is also another good video, this guy reminds me of the easiness of spirit that I see in many Transgender girls:

YouTube - a new earth webclass 1-7 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJItBR8t0i4&feature=PlayList&p=0CF42A87318C011C&index=6)

Check this stuff out - if you will... Awesome!

Watching Echart Tolle on Oprah, and Tgirls like Astrid Shay (..Khloe Hart has also allways had that beautiful, "at ease with what is - and enjoying it" - spark in her eyes..), made me realise how really deeply spiritual thing it is, to just allow things to be, and concentrate on what your vibe tells you to do - even if the thoughts in your head (opininons programmed by the outside world) might think otherwise.

There can be zillions of forms of love out there, we could not have ever imagined, all equally tasty and perfect, just like there can be foods you have never ever imagined to taste and smell so good... yumm.. (..but we need to be in a state of allowing that new vibe to be inhaled, for it to be experienced..)

I am still learning, but this (..-> that thoughts affect directly the reality around us <-..) seems to be something worth letting others know too..

[peggygee]

Why is important that the girl you share this experience be trans?


Honestly... I don't know what to think. Which is why I was trying to find out your motivation with my question.

Your overall scenario, sounds like you just want someone to be intimate with. But, you specifically want this with a T-Girl. Why? Because she's a girl with a penis? At what point does this whole thing simply break down into a fantasy for you? I would say that any good escort would excel at catering to her clients fantasies.

I must admit that this was my first reaction when I read the OP's post.

To me, his attraction seems fantasy or fetish based, as does the interest
of many of the men here.

As a post op woman I will say that if a man sought me out solely based
upon my trans-herstory, I would find that off-putting.

If the OP is hoping to have his first experience be one that is filled with
intimacy, which is a noble quest, then he may need to opt for a GFE
with an escort.

But other than that hoping for love his first time "up at bat" with a
transwomen isn't particularly realistic in my opinion.

:2cent

[TsVanessa69]

Maybe it is just a fantasy...but I don't want a fantasy where the woman is just in it to make money. There is no passion there.

I think I'm attracted to the fearlessness of transsexuals. The ability to be themselves no matter what the world thinks. Probably because I'm searching for that.
Which is why we are not going to be used for an expierence or an expirement