can you really be in a relationsion without cheating?

[FreddieGomez]

i ask myself this all the time and i'm not really sure, it could be possible but a real challenge....the last real relationship i was in was with my son's mother and we was together for about 8 months and even tho i never cheated on her the temptation was always there...plus wit the internet it makes it hard to be in a relationship....i got mad females hittin me up all day...i aint complainin but it makes it hard for a dude to jus focus on one chick lol......

[traLika]

Congratulations FreddieGomez! You are the official winner of the 2010 Most Stupid Threads On HA Award!

A medal will be sent over to Bed Stuy right away and Señor Love Daddy will come around to present you with it.

And that's the double truth, Ruth!

[Faldur]

First things first, sort through the mad ones. The energy may be appealing but the anger always ends badly...

http://ireignsupreme.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/madwoman.jpg

http://www.craigharper.com.au/uploaded_images/madwoman.jpg

http://us.123rf.com/400wm/400/400/logos/logos0805/logos080500009/3112517-very-frustrated-and-angry-mad-woman-hands-in-her-hair-pulling-isolated-on-white-background.jpg

Secondly do the world a favor..

http://nerdapproved.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/08/diy-vasectomy-magnet-set.jpg

[Gthoma2a]

I have been in relationships without cheating, so I'd say yes.

[giovanni_hotel]

It's about emotional maturity, what you're looking for and how honest you are with yourself.

So many guys get into 'exclusive' relationships with women and the first time they go out alone, they're trying to mack anything that moves.
If your self-esteem is only reinforced by how many women you can fucc, then a relationship with one female may not be for you.

And there are those guys who don't see women as much more than a place to stick their dick, so any serious relationship is doomed to fail because there's no depth to it.

You sound like you're at least 15 years away from being able to hold down a LTR, IMO Mr. Gomez.

[dderek123]

I'd say it is possible. If you really love the person you would be motivated to not cheat on them. We are men and we all get horny so it's hard to control though.

I live in Bangkok so temptation is literally around every corner. Temptation is in the form of a ladyboy that grabs my dick as I try to walk past. It's pretty difficult to turn that down I won't lie. Heck, there is a ladyboy bar in Nana Plaza called Temptations!

But, if you find a good girl who loves you you would quickly realize how hard it is to find someone like that. Especially in sin city!

[blckhaze]

Temptation will always be present
Up to you to develop the mental fortitude to decide whats worth doing and not doing

[dderek123]

Temptation will always be present
Up to you to develop the mental fortitude to decide whats worth doing and not doing

:iagree:Yeah, you just need to make your big brain do the thinking and not the little brain.

[Gthoma2a]

The most important thing is knowing that short term stuff disappears, but if you aren't cheating and really care about somebody, you actually have something that can last. Cheating gets in the way of truly caring because you aren't giving enough of yourself to others. Relationships won't always work, but it is best to know you gave it every shot.

[Fox]

If you want multiple women just let them know. For thousands of years no one had a problem with a man having multiple women (even women themselves) until fairly recently in history. Good luck finding a woman in the western world willing to go for it though. ;)

[fred41]

If you really want a relationship you can have one...and if you are that weak when it comes to sex...you can always avoid the temptation to begin with.
..but people also lie to themselves about the intention to cheat,..I'll give you an example.

A guy (or girl) enters into a relationship to begin with...He keeps a separate page on MySpace where he still flirts with girls (it's okay..it's only flirting ..it aint nothing)..the flirting gets pretty hot (but it's okay..it's still only fun right?)...you seem to hit it off pretty well with an internet girl who happens to be coming to your area for the weekend...maybe you two could meet ...to talk (it's only talk right?..you're entitled to a friend)...you meet and you have such an awesome conversation...this time or the next time the conversation turns sexual (only figuratively right?! ..that's still cool)..there's a little alcohol (still cool..what, I can't have a drink or two with a friend?)..some accidental touching which becomes more intentional until...Voila...cheating.

.."but I didn't mean it ..it just happened"...
..no it didn't ...the person wanted it to happen...lots of people do this, but they're rarely honest about their original intent.

In your case..judging by what you write (and maybe your age too)...I would say you're not ready for a relationship..but that's probably okay..cause deep down you probably don't really want one..yet.

In your case right now ..I would concentrate on moving up in the world...eventually getting a decent job so you can take care of your son...make that your absolute priority (as it should be)...the rest will follow.

...oh and if you never want to have a relationship ..ever...then getting a vasectomy is a terrific idea in all honesty.

[rockabilly]

Who said relationship ?

He asking about a "relationsion".

There is a big difference.

[fred41]

Who said relationship ?

He asking about a "relationsion".

There is a big difference.

Oh, you're right...

...never mind then..:)

[tsparisangelline]

Ummm duh...................

[jedimaster]

Well if the longest relationship you've had was 8 months then i can't begin to fathom what a feat a REAL long term relationship would be for you, let alone a real LTR without cheating.

sorry but 8 months is nothing, though every experience is valuable no matter how short, i'd say that nobody can get to know and love deeply somebody being with them for less than a couple years, at least.

Maybe you're not ready, or maybe you don't really want a LTR. Best thing to do is be honest with yourself. After all, if you have a lot of mad ladies hitting on you, then go after them one at a time or all at once.

no need to force yourself to "not cheat".

[FreddieGomez]

8 months is my longest relationship...i truly loved this chick and still do but she's the one who fucked it up and ever since i've had this mentality that ima jus fuck women and not care about their feelings because when they get a good dude they don't know how to act or treat him right.

[tsparisangelline]

SOME women do not

That is like me saying because one black man came with less than his fair share all will do the same

(wink wink)

lol

[scroller]

8 months is my longest relationship...i truly loved this chick and still do but she's the one who fucked it up and ever since i've had this mentality that ima jus fuck women and not care about their feelings because when they get a good dude they don't know how to act or treat him right.

You've got some kind of religious ideology that's been shoved down your throat. You don't have to get married to someone to care about their feelings.

One possibility is ask if they're okay with being in an open relationship. If not, move on. Leave them in better shape than you found them, not worse.

[dderek123]

8 months is my longest relationship...i truly loved this chick and still do but she's the one who fucked it up and ever since i've had this mentality that ima jus fuck women and not care about their feelings because when they get a good dude they don't know how to act or treat him right.

Well just because one woman fucked up a relationship doesn't mean they all will. We are all human and we make mistakes. When you go into a relationship you do make yourself vulnerable unless it is completely one-sided. Better to have loved and lost. Unless it is unrequited love, that stuff is no good.

I understand that maybe you don't want to go through that again but the greater the risk the greater the reward.

[DL_NL]

I've never felt the need to cheat on any of my GFs. As soon as there is a need, the relationship is over because I want it to be 100% exclusive. I don't do ONSes anymore.

[Deja Vu]

the shits hard...but you gotta know when you goin into it if you want it.