Is this chick just lazy?

[BenDundat]

I have a really good Ts friend who I have been involved with for over 5 years. I have been with her before and after her SRS and really have a close bond. We have often entertained the idea of getting married but the one thing that I can get past is the fact that she doesnt want to work! I can understand a women who decides to be a mother and raise children while the husband is the main breadwinner. Well because she can't have children this scenario doesnt apply. I asked her what she planned on doing and she tells me that she want to sing(in my opinion she CAN'T-but I would never tell her this) and possible be a activist for the transgender community.She has no skills and no education past high school. She isnt dumb by and stretch of the imagination. I guess everybody has a right to persue their own paths in life but is it me or this a immature and deluded?

[almoststraight]

Are you asking us to affirm your belief that your friend shouldn't pursue her passion or dreams, and instead should settle for a shitty job that she's not interested in having?

I don't think I'll do that. Deluded? Maybe... but she really should make her path.

[Jericho]

Depends who's paying the bills while she's got her head up her arse! :shrug

[alyssaluxor]

how could she survive with no work?!!!

doesnt she get bored? me if i dont work for 3-4 days im so fukcin bored already lol

[fred41]

It all depends on her age..it's nice to pursue ones dreams...but they have to be grounded in reality too. Even people who did make it in the professional world of music had jobs to support them along the way. Show business is a tough life to make any money in..even people with outrageous talent sometimes don't make it.
..I have to admit...from the little bit of information you are supplying - it does sound like she's lazy..By the way, who is supporting her since she's not working?

[bte]

How can she get SRS and not have a job or did she escort before her SRS? Maybe she doesn't know what she wants to do with her life or maybe she is just lazy. Has she done any activism work at all, even an inkling of it or is it just talk?

[BenDundat]

She never escorted and was able to save the money for her SRS by waiting tables. She was fortunate enough that she is passable and could work in mainstream society without being subjected to so many of the prejudices endured by others.She has'nt done any kind of activism before It seems that after she accomplished her goal(SRS) she just doesn't seem to have the drive anymore. I don't know folks...... I guess this is the main problem that I have with her if it weren't for her ideas of being a 'kept woman 'things would be different between us.Oh yeah and she turned thirty yesterday!

[bte]

Oh, maybe she is just lazy. But I am pretty sure you already knew that at least somewhat.

[timxxx]

Saved the money for her SRS by waiting tables,then she's not lazy.Let her pursue her dreams,you only live once.

[bte]

She never escorted and was able to save the money for her SRS by waiting tables. She was fortunate enough that she is passable and could work in mainstream society without being subjected to so many of the prejudices endured by others.She has'nt done any kind of activism before It seems that after she accomplished her goal(SRS) she just doesn't seem to have the drive anymore. I don't know folks...... I guess this is the main problem that I have with her if it weren't for her ideas of being a 'kept woman 'things would be different between us.Oh yeah and she turned thirty yesterday!

Has she taken any steps to complete her goals, such as take lessons for singing or anything like that?

[BenDundat]

No, she is kind of "self taught". She reads a lot a got instruction like that. I don't know I guesss it just boils down to whether or not I am willingly to settle down with someone who has qualities that I view as shortcomings.

[yodajazz]

Part of the issue may be that she lacks confindence to pursue certain things. That is feeling that she is not qualified. I agree that music lessons are a good way to improve skills and put discipline into one's craft. Also, if she wants to be an activist, having educational creditentials will help open doors. So I say its about making concrete steps to pursue goals.

[peggygee]

Part of the issue may be that she lacks confindence to pursue certain things. That is feeling that she is not qualified. I agree that music lessons are a good way to improve skills and put discipline into one's craft. Also, if she wants to be an activist, having educational creditentials will help open doors. So I say its about making concrete steps to pursue goals.

It may be that she lacks confidence to pursue her goals.

Another explanation: Sometimes women will move Heaven and Earth to
accomplish their GRS goals, and after that everything else is anti-climatic.
She may not have given alot of thought to life after transitioning.

Interestingly, I know a few natal women roughly her age, who just aren't
quite sure of the direction they want to take with their life, a few of them
are married.

As we are aware, people often-times may change their professions multiple
times in life, due to their interests or market demands.

My thought without knowing this woman is that she discuss her goals and
future with a state or private vocational counselor.