Transsexual Nikki Araguz, speaks out about questioned marriage to deceasedFirefighter

[www.tglovers.com]

Transsexual Nikki Araguz, speaks out about questioned marriage to deceased Firefighter
(http://cerebraldiva.blogspot.com/2010/07/transgendered-widow-nikki-araguz-in-her.html)
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[Nicole Dupre]

'Let his kids have whatever it is that he left behind. But this 3 ring circus, over whether or not he knew gender status, is despicable. And of course Bumfuck TX via the media is going to repeat her birth name, and refer to her as a "he" and a "man", as often as possible. I'm sorry, but any girl here can tell you how men often want to keep us a dirty little secret at all costs.

I had a friend in FL who lived with a man for 4 years, and was practically a second mother to his son from his first marriage. When his brother finally met her though, he clocked her and told the entire family. His family, I might add, knew her well and was very fond of her. Interesting how those bonds dissolved overnight, and how she went from being 'the woman their son should marry' to a 'man'. And their spineless son denied knowing anything and dumped her. But even now, he STILL chases trannys. In fact, he's dating one who's HIV positive and a tweaker. But he just couldn't stand up and be proud to be in a relationship with one who was hardworking paralegal, not sick, not escorting, not cheating, and had a loving relationship with his son.

THIS IS WHY SO MANY OF US HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO RESPECT FOR YOU COWARDLY CLOSETED ASSHOLES.

[giovanni_hotel]

Truth hurts.

I haven't been in that situation, so I'm not gonna act like I'm the guy who always does shit perfectly, but being one of the default 'other half' of a 'tranny and her man' relationship, I can relate to why a girl would be hostile towards any guy who would deny a transgendered woman's identity to his family.

Nicole, not to get too personal, but are there any primary, nuclear family relationships you had at say, 15 years old, that you no longer have today, that relate to you being TG??

I feel that if a guy is gonna take a girl around his family, his heart and his head have to be right - it can't be a situation where he's trying to 'get over' with a TG.

He needs to be prepared IMO for his girl to be spooked, and know beforehand exactly where he stands and how he will react.

[Nicole Dupre]

Truth hurts.

I haven't been in that situation, so I'm not gonna act like I'm the guy who always does shit perfectly, but being one of the default 'other half' of a 'tranny and her man' relationship, I can relate to why a girl would be hostile towards any guy who would deny a transgendered woman's identity to his family.

Nicole, not to get too personal, but are there any primary, nuclear family relationships you had at say, 15 years old, that you no longer have today, that relate to you being TG??

I feel that if a guy is gonna take a girl around his family, his heart and his head have to be right - it can't be a situation where he's trying to 'get over' with a TG.

He needs to be prepared IMO for his girl to be spooked, and know beforehand exactly where he stands and how he will react.

Everyone in family accepts me. My relationship with my parents is better now than it's ever been, actually. My father probably understands it the least, but he still loves me unconditionally and treats me with the ultimate respect. Was it like that from day one? Yes and no. I told my parents when I was old enough to speak that I was a girl. They didn't encourage it because they had no idea how. They explained that once I went to school, it "wouldn't work". But my grandmothers still painted my nails, let me grow my hair long, wear makeup, etc. My aunt bought me a couple of little dresses that I outgrew quickly. But, sure enough, when I went to pre-K, they wouldn't let me leave the house like that. Over the years I still played dress up at home, wore makeup, got my ears pierced, etc.

At this point, the general consensus in my family was that I was gay, even before I was old enough to have a libido. I just went with whatever they could deal with, but I knew it was not that simple. But when I was 10 or 11, I really started getting interested boys. I wanted to kiss boys. lol But I didn't have the nerve til my mid teens. At that point, I was disappearing for days at a time, and going into Manhattan from NJ. I hung out on the West Side, and was essentially a fag in drag. But I was also a punk rocker. lol The punx were the only non-exclusively gay crowd that were cool with me. I ran away and stayed away, and started doing drugs when I was 15. I did that for almost 2 years. I panhandled on St Marks, turned tricks on the streets of the West Side, on the the outskirts of the gay male scene, and was living 100% in the moment. But when I was 18, I had a friend in a similar situation jump off the GW Bridge. It freaked me out pretty badly. I also had someone throw a bottle at me when I was walking down Jane St in a dress, and it scared the crap out of me. I stopped using drugs, and my parents took me back in for a few months.

I got myself enrolled in art school, and made an attempt at being "gay". It didn't work. I got an education and a decent job and was miserable. I dated a gut who was ok with me being a drag queen, but when I finally told him I was going fulltime, he suddenly dumped me. But back to my family. I told them I was doing drag, and that I was feeling a stronger need to abandon my male identity. They said that it made no sense. "Why would you do this when you have a decent job and a home?" I said I had to, and that was that. They saw this as a self-destructive move, but I didn't care. I was living part-time, and my only hours in boy mode were for work. My parents thought I went nuts, and were disappointed. But I quit the job, moved to FL, and started living fulltime. I mean, at that point I had small tits and was spending 90% of life as myself anyway.

But fulltime is different. The first year was rough. I couldn't find work, wasn't ready to start turning tricks (I thought "I have an education and a good job history. How bad could it really get?" lol), and had a roommate who was getting very confused with me looking like a girl. He knew what I was, and it started bringing up the the question of his own sexuality and intimidating him. He threatened, very seriously, to kill me on more than one occasion. I moved out, gave up on finding a decent job, started turning tricks, and never looked back.

Anyway, without me going into all the gory details for them, my parents finally saw that this was much bigger than simply being "gay" and wanting to "dress up". About 6 months into my f/t transition, we started seeing each other a few times a year over the course of those 4 years. I moved back up here a year ago, and now we see each other almost every day when I'm in town. It's often amazingly corny and "Brady Bunch", and I love that. lol More than I would have ever dreamed. :) My mom is my best friend. We go shopping, cook dinner together, go to the same nail salon and hair dresser, get excited when she gets a new Bergdorf Goodman catalog to look at together, etc. lol

So, yeah. I had a happy ending, more or less. But it sucked horribly at many points. My parents know what I've been through, and are behind me 200%. Everyone in my family is. And if they weren't there would be no room for them in my life. My transsexuality is not a fleeting desire, that comes and goes with a hard on, like it is for most of you guys, or a little fantasy I live like a crossdresser does. This is me. Whoever is cool with me, I'm cool with. Whoever isn't can go fuck themselves. If my parents went any further than being confused and disappointed for less than a year, they would've been told to go fuck themselves too. Life's too short, and I know what I am and love myself. If you can't love yourself, no one else ever will.

[Dina Delicious]

wow this is interesting !

[giovanni_hotel]

WOW, Nicole!!!

Your post just floored me, really. I've always had the lust part for ya locked down(!!)..have to make that happen soon..and the fanboy adulation just cause I think you're prolly one of the coolest peeps that I've yet to meet in person.

But I didn't expect that I would have this, I dunno, unrealized admiration for you, simply because you've actively living your life.

Not to get all sappy, but this post kinda got to me.;)

[Nicole Dupre]

Well, my point was, you NEVER know if you're going to get spooked. It doesn't have to be from a deep voice, or your hands, or looking over-surged, or whatever. Shit happens, and when it does it will show you who your family and friends REALLY are. It's not like you have to tell people what you are. It's that, if you get spooked, you know where you stand.

Seriously, I never get clocked. I haven't in probably 3 years. But I'm not a mind reader. Maybe somebody is somehow clocking me in their head. Maybe the lady who rings up my stuff at the grocery store is wondering why I buy so many condoms but I don't buy tampons or Massengill. I have no idea. lol MANY TIMES, guys in a relationship with a stealth TS are asked by their family, "Isn't she going to mother any children for you?" If someone did clock me to my face (which, btw, is what getting spooked really means), and they were rude about it, I'd embarrass them.

Btw, I'm really happy that Nikki described her birth gender on television as a "birth defect", because thats exactly what it is. At least I see it that way for myself, and so do many trannys. Think of it as a mole. Some people want them removed asap, and some people learn to live with them and even flaunt them. People have been complaining about Madonna not getting her teeth fixed for decades. But if the bitch doesn't care, why should anyone else? Obviously, she can afford to.

[Beaner]

Was she a pre op too?

[giovanni_hotel]

I don't think there's any way he didn't 'know'.
That's one of those fantasies people on the outside like to believe, but IMO is very unlikely for two people who are married to hide from each other.

[Nicole Dupre]

You couldn't have that surgery, and have someone living with you not notice anything.

[sunairco]

My son didn't know. My ex-husband didn't know. ....And the winner of this years Bernard Boursicot award is posthumously awarded to Thomas Araguz.

[yodajazz]

Found footage on a couple of tv show appearances that Nikki was on around age 19. So Nikki was out as trans, on national television shows, and supposedly did not tell her husband?

transexual nikki and mimi marks on jerry springer pt.1 - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11kWORgAkpQ)

transexual nikki on maury povich, i was born a boy - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFOMik_oiCU)

[Gillian]

So Nikki was out as trans, on national television shows, and supposedly did not tell her husband?[/url]

I don't buy that either. It's his parents that are saying she never told him and we know they have vested interest in the final destination of his inheritance.