Explain this to me?

[almoststraight]

Hi everyone, I need some help understanding what I need to do here. Im just missing something cultural I think.

I'm a "almost straight" guy who is turned on by, but never had an experience with a tgirl.

I've contacted a few via dating sites and the like in my area (which is sort of backward, so there aren't many...). The responses have basically all gone like this:

I make contact, and say hi
They say, Hey, you're hot!
I say, great, let's go out and if there's chemistry we'll see where it goes...
They say, ok well, what do you want to do?
I say, I'm inexperienced with this, I want to explore, I'm open to anything
They say nothing. They go silent.

Once is whatever, people go silent on the internet, but this has happened about 3 times now, not counting the people who ask for money. If I want a pro, I'll go to a pro, if I'm on a dating site, I want a date.

Anyway, I'm thinking I'm saying something wrong. I feel self conscious because I'm so new at this, and I don't know if this is a problem because I'm new or because I'm "flexible" instead of a super macho, top guy?

I was guessing that someone would find it titillating to take my t-virginity. Maybe I just haven't found the right girl yet? I don't know, enlighten me.

[BellaBellucci]

Love the username. ;)

~BB~

[Coroner]

Get a fuck first and think about dating a little bit later.

[GroobySteven]

"I say, I'm inexperienced with this, I want to explore, I'm open to anything"
Wrong answer.

"Do you want to go grab a coffee or a juice and see how we get on?"
Right answer.

[youshouldtrythislol]

maybe try not looking at it as something different? it shouldnt be any different than dating a "regular" woman. you are, afterall, hopefully dating them for their personality, not what is between their legs anyways.

[BellaBellucci]

maybe try not looking at it as something different? it shouldnt be any different than dating a "regular" woman. you are, afterall, hopefully dating them for their personality, not what is between their legs anyways.

Oh, cool. A fellow idealist. :geek:

~BB~

[youshouldtrythislol]

Oh, cool. A fellow idealist. :geek:

~BB~
not an idealist. i am sure i am one of a handfull that feel that way. most people have no respect for others. doesnt worry me, i only worry about myself in that regard, as i can not change the attitudes of others.

so ive gotta ask, as a woman, i am going to assume you do not want people to date you for what is between your legs, but for you as a person?

[BellaBellucci]

not an idealist. i am sure i am one of a handfull that feel that way. most people have no respect for others. doesnt worry me, i only worry about myself in that regard, as i can not change the attitudes of others.

so ive gotta ask, as a woman, i am going to assume you do not want people to date you for what is between your legs, but for you as a person?

Want? Oh no, honey. I demand. I don't date chasers... unless they have money of course. :party:

~BB~

[almoststraight]

I get what you're saying, I really do. And it's my fault for not quite explaining myself correctly.

Yes, you're absolutely right that I should date people for who they are and not just for their physical characteristics. But these are girls I made contact with on sites that are meant for that though. Think AdultFriendFinder and the like--girls who put themselves out there as available to hang out with and have casual sex with men.

I'm not a caveman approaching people who are looking for romance who happen to identify as TS on a regular dating site and saying "Hey baby, I want your cock." I feel like I'm being respectful and appropriate for the context.

What I'm describing happens after we get past the "let's go out for drinks or to lunch and see if we like each other." After that, they have consistently wanted to know what I wanted in the bedroom before we meet. It's at that point when they stop writing back. And I'm not saying any anything scary, I promise!


I have an impression from reading most profiles of m2f TS people that most of them want to be women, period (which is understandable... they are TS after all!). But they almost want to not acknowledge they have any equipment at all, and to be completely bottom. I'm thinking that could be part of the issue--I'm scaring those girls off who don't want any part of getting attention for their extra bits. They want me to say I want to dominate them and treat them 100% like a lady, and when I don't, they just don't write back.


Maybe you're right though Coroner, I'm sure a pro would be much more accommodating for a casual thing.

Let me ask this, since there seem to be plenty of ts girls here: is it unrealistic of me to want to find an attractive tgirl who isn't a pro, who is also not a strict bottom? Is that just a stupid porn fantasy that naive newbies have?

@Bella: Why, thank you 8)

Edit: One thing I do want to clarify, is that I'm not actually opposed to having a meaningful relationship with a TS girl. It's just very rare for me to meet ANY girl I'm interested in to seriously date--they have to have a special kind of spark and intelligence that goes way beyond being physically attractive. I guess I'm just skeptical that there is anyone out there (who I will meet and connect with) who is both that kind of magical, and transgendered. The odds seem slim. So for now, it's just a sexual thing, and I only approach girls who put themselves out there for a sexual thing. I'm not trying to objectify anyone.

[youshouldtrythislol]

Want? Oh no, honey. I demand. I don't date chasers... unless they have money of course. :party:

~BB~
oh. good answer. lol.

[BellaBellucci]

But they almost want to not acknowledge they have any equipment at all, and to be completely bottom. I'm thinking that could be part of the issue--I'm scaring those girls off who don't want any part of getting attention for their extra bits. They want me to say I want to dominate them and treat them 100% like a lady, and when I don't, they just don't write back.

I never understood why girls are like that. How one has sex doesn't make them a man or a woman. Gay male bottoms aren't women. Girls with strap-ons are not men. And besides, it's much harder to derive any kind of pleasure out of sex when one ignores their 'bits.' Clearly, these girls still subconsciously feel that their anatomy defines them, as they scream to the heavens that it doesn't. :confused:

~BB~

[bte]

Why say that you are inexperience at all? You should just approach it normally and have confidence. A girl will tell you when she doesn't like something that you are doing. You are putting the dick on a pedestal.

[rockabilly]

@bte "dick on a pedestal" lol good one.

But we all know the dick goes in the box.

[Nicole Dupre]

This seems like a no brainer. You're pretty much up against all the same variables as any other guy looking to date any other chick, but you want a cock instead of a cootch.

But face it. You actually do want a "pro" to some extent, if you're looking on AFF. I mean, let's get real. You're already looking for sex. That's what the "adult" in AFF means. It's for horny people who want to fuck. You just don't want to pay. It might make you feel "dirty" I suppose, and we can't have that. lol

You just want a hot tranny (who somehow doesn't realize she could be catering to guys looking for sex and earning coins as an escort) who puts out, because you equate AFF with hooking up for at least casual sex. I mean, the world is loaded with women, who have and do not have cocks. But you want the cock there as a given. You want to make a B line to sexual compatibility. It's not like I blame you, but I don't see how that's any better than a guy who wants to know if a girl sucks cock on the first date. Well sorry, but that's not what dating is about. Dating is about getting to know someone OVER TIME, not over night. Are you trying to say you don't know the difference between wanting to bang a slut and dating a nice girl?

I dunno. "How can a 'nice' guy pick up a hot chick" sounds like the ultimate rhetorical question. It also sounds like the supply/demand equation behind the oldest profession in the world. But you want T-nookie, and not punani. Am I missing something?

[alyssats]

Why say that you are inexperience at all? You should just approach it normally and have confidence. A girl will tell you when she doesn't like something that you are doing. You are putting the dick on a pedestal.

+1

ill never date a guy who will say to me that its his first time and inexperience. that he never met TS girls before.

just to let you know 99.99% of TS admirer/chasers/clientelle would tell that to us eventhough theyve met almost all my other TS friends already lol

so whenever i hear that statement from guys i know its a TRICK lol

:wiggle:

kisses
Alyssa Luxor

[alyssats]

by the way ive heard this words already from TS admirer/chasers/clientelle already almost hundrends of times lol

"I'm inexperienced with this, I want to explore, I'm open to anything"

just yesterday a guy told this to me, why does guys likes these words so much lol

uhmmm! take this! :fuckin:

[BellaBellucci]

so whenever i hear that statement from guys i know its a TRICK lol

The one lie you can universally count on from every man paying for sex: 'it's my first time.'

~BB~

[rockabilly]

Duh , It's his first time w/ you Bella. :lol:

[BellaBellucci]

Duh , It's his first time w/ you Bella. :lol:

LOL! Seriously, right?

~BB~

[Nicole Dupre]

by the way ive heard this words already from TS admirer/chasers/clientelle already almost hundrends of times lol

"I'm inexperienced with this, I want to explore, I'm open to anything"

just yesterday a guy told this to me, why does guys likes these words so much lol

uhmmm! take this! :fuckin:

Supposedly there is some fantasy they like to live where it's "all new" to them. They get off on the idea that they are innocent about cock; almost like saying, "I'm not gay, but I'm curious about this."

Funny how they suck dick like a pro and you can see a freight train fitting inside their asses. lol

But there are also guys who think saying they're virgins will get them a "first timer deal". Like I care. lol

[alyssats]

The one lie you can universally count on from every man paying for sex: 'it's my first time.'

~BB~

lol yes so true girl

im really getting tired from all these bullshits and tricks from guys

just FUKC and sign the contract lol \

:violin

[rockabilly]

Well there's "frequent flyer points" .... so why not a "virgin discount"? lol

[alyssats]

Supposedly there is some fantasy they like to live where it's "all new" to them. They get off on the idea that they are innocent about cock; almost like saying, "I'm not gay, but I'm curious about this."

Funny how they suck dick like a pro and you can see a freight train fitting inside their asses. lol

But there are also guys who think saying they're virgins will get them a "first timer deal". Like I care. lol

OMG i could relate to this so much so many would say its their first time but once you had a session with them they would suck your cock like theres no tomorrow lol

and would force you to fuck their asses and once you put your dick on it youll not feel anything since its so loose already lol

OMG i think the world is really near to end :Bowdown:

[rockabilly]

C'mon now , honestly how hard is it to give a blowjob?

Now eating pussy .... ok where's the GPS cause i'm lost.

[Nicole Dupre]

and would force you to fuck their asses and once you put your dick on it youll not feel anything since its so loose already lol

OMG i think the world is really near to end :Bowdown:


LMAO! Girl! lol:)

[giovanni_hotel]

You girls are COLD!!LOL

Sometimes a first timer is for real, but IMO who the heck tells someone they're about to lose their virginity with someone else if you're not 16 years old?? If you aren't dating in a LTR and leading up to that 'special night' together, just jump in there and be willing to look like a rook.

If you are a virgin, a girl will KNOW and prolly tell you that she could tell.

And even a TG hookup on AFF likes to be treated like she's a girl you just met socially.

I can't imagine a TG/GG I've met casually asking me, 'so what do you wanna do tonight??', and instead of saying go to a party, bar, movie etc I came back at her with,
' I dunno, I'm new to this. I open and willing to explore possibilities..!'

FAIL

Even if you know, and she knows, you're both headed to the promised land on this particular evening, most chicks still enjoy the chase, if it's not strictly professional.

Act like a 'date' is a date, and go with the flow.

[BeardedOne]

Let me ask this, since there seem to be plenty of ts girls here: is it unrealistic of me to want to find an attractive tgirl who isn't a pro, who is also not a strict bottom? Is that just a stupid porn fantasy that naive newbies have?

Not unrealistic, but a bit of a stretch for this neighborhood. Most, though not all of the gurls here are pro or semi-pro, so the opinions may be a bit skewed. As for fantasies and being a newbie, BTDT and the gurls here that know me can attest to my ballet step across that minefield.


I say, I'm inexperienced with this, I want to explore, I'm open to anything
They say nothing. They go silent.

Never, =EVER= leave a gap in the conversation where a woman has a chance to converse with the little voices in her head. That is a battle that no one can ever win. The little voices are her deity and no woman will give up gawd for the likes of you. Ever.


I never understood why girls are like that. How one has sex doesn't make them a man or a woman. Gay male bottoms aren't women. Girls with strap-ons are not men. And besides, it's much harder to derive any kind of pleasure out of sex when one ignores their 'bits.' Clearly, these girls still subconsciously feel that their anatomy defines them, as they scream to the heavens that it doesn't.

Wow, Bella! That is the most clearly stated position on the matter that I've =EVER= seen. Go, gurl! :Bowdown:


just to let you know 99.99% of TS admirer/chasers/clientelle would tell that to us eventhough theyve met almost all my other TS friends already lol

I can't speak for others, Alyssa, but when I tout my experience with T-gurls, I site references (And a couple have come forth and given them). :)



Act like a 'date' is a date, and go with the flow.

Yah, that's prolly the best advice. While I may expect to get a kick inna teeth from my average date, it's nice to imagine something far nicer.

[slinky]

OMG i could relate to this so much so many would say its their first time but once you had a session with them they would suck your cock like theres no tomorrow lol

and would force you to fuck their asses and once you put your dick on it youll not feel anything since its so loose already lol

OMG i think the world is really near to end :Bowdown:

It's like throwing a pickle down a hallway.......

Like dancing alone in a in empty ballroom......

You better strap a board to your ass or you might fall in ......

You ( staring into huge gaping hole): "Hello, hello"
Him: "You didn't have to say it twice"
You: "I didn't".

------------------------------------------------------------

Although my personal favorite is the guys who say "take it easy, it's my first time" and by the time you get out of the bathroom they are on their back with their ankles behind their ears.......

[almoststraight]

Thank you for the replies everyone, I think they'll help.

I guess if it's common for guys to say they are inexperienced, then I'll stop saying that. I'm very much not inexperienced with sex, so I'm sure I'll figure it out.

Nicole, I want to respond to you specifically. The reason I don't really want to hire someone isn't because it's "dirty"--it's a valuable service, and I won't judge at all.

Here comes the cliche train again, but I've never been with any kind of pro before. The reason is that a big part of what gets me going is the mental connection. In this context, with AFF, I'm not looking for earth shattering romance, but I am looking for someone I can be at least friends with, talk to, have fun with, and then some attraction to. I've tried having sex with someone I found hot who found me hot, and keeping it purely physical. It was terrible!

With a pro, it's a business transaction that's about physicality, and any mental connection is forced. I'm just another client, you'll make nice and make me feel special, then send me on my way. I don't really want that experience, it's not what I'm after.

In fact, I wouldn't mind having that fun sexual friendship I've been talking about with a pro... I just don't want it on a commercial basis. What you do in your day job doesn't bother me, I just want a genuine relationship with someone, not a waitress who smiles and sucks my cock. Does that make sense?

[giovanni_hotel]

A good escort has a knack for being deeply superficial, in that her time with you is your time TOGETHER, and she's not rushing you through like another client.

Also, why I luv TGs is, she's willing, if not actively seeking, to get her nut off too. Not all the time, but more often than a GG escort IMO.

If a Tg escort is into the scene, you'll know right away, and it will only enhance the sexual connection.
The hard part is finding an escort who's compatible with you, from a personality/emotional standpoint.

Trust me, finding that 'right' TG escort to pop your cherry is well worth the search.
my .02 cents

[loveburst]

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