Dark Side of Venus

[sunairco]

If any of you guys will only read 3 books in your life before you commit to a relationship, this book has to be on that list. I wish something like this was required reading before I signed my first marriage license back in '78 and that sweetheart that I grew up with from childhood turned into a vicious,batshit crazy, bitch almost overnight right after we got married.

[SarahG]

If any of you guys will only read 3 books in your life before you commit to a relationship, this book has to be on that list. I wish something like this was required reading before I signed my first marriage license back in '78 and that sweetheart that I grew up with from childhood turned into a vicious,batshit crazy, bitch almost overnight right after we got married.

I've seen that happen to couples. Where everything was perfect, dead unicorns, black skies, and all that happy stuff until they got married and then BAM! all kinds of drama, fights, arguments, sunshine, etc.

One of my past sociology professors used to argue what really happens in situations like that is... one or both people went into the relationship with unrealistic ideas on what married life was to be like. Instead of trying to keep things "as they were when it all worked," they go "I am married now, so things need to be different [long list of sudden & new demands or expectations]"

Not sure if he was right but it makes some sense.

[nevada64]

Marriage is overrated. Why anyone signs a contract with another person, so now their finances are bound together, is beyond me. As well as not being allowed to have sex with anyone else but the person you are married to. Even if your spouse no longer wishes to have sex with you. The whole idea sounds like a really bad decision. It's a no brainer, DON'T GET MARRIED!!!

[gotchagood]

Marriage, and sex is a gift. Initially, one of the main reasons for marriage "is" for protection. First, premarital sex should be avoided. This is because once you have sex with someone, (as it is stated) the two becomes one. That's why it's hard to break up with someone if you keep sleeping with them, Duh.. If they weren't the right person for you, would have found that out just by dating them, but if you continue thinking about her/him being "naked", it's the "lust" that will cause you to overlook the obvious. If one waits until marriage, the couples feelings are generally based on "mature love" and sound decisions, not lust, or because of unwanted pregnancies, or for money etc. Also, If one is married and in a monogamous relationship, then you have no worries of diseases that will make your pee pee fall off, or worse....cause death! Also, if people waited to have sex until marriage, the waiting rooms would not be full of teen gg's killing their unborn, unwanted children because of having too much to drink one night and not remembering who knocked her up! Shows like "Maury" wouldn't exist! There would also be less divorce.

Today, for men, I don't blame those who abstain from marriage. Many women in the 60's walked out on their families to burn their bras because a few airheads told them it was ok. IMO "now", the courts have skewed "everything" and gg have destroyed the trust in many men because they've had the courts unfairly tilted in their favor, including child care , "ali-money" and child custody. For instance, Shaq's wife, intentionally moved to Cali, because she has a better chance of "stealing" more his hard earned money and that's just for the ali-money, not for the 4 or 5 kids that she'll be paid for. I'm not throwing the entire blame on gg's, but it's a major, continual social problem with them and their other issues and personal/national, seperatist agendas.

Marriage is/was typically a good thing; it made for sound people and stable families. It is the lust, greed, selfishness and our own personal disrespect of ourselves and others etc. in our society that has destroyed it. This falls on the shoulders of both men and gg's.

Just my 2 cents

Have a great day.

[Jericho]

cobblers
Just my 2 cents
Have a great day.

Checks date...Nope, not April 1! :eek:

[SarahG]

Initially, one of the main reasons for marriage "is" for protection.

Initially one of the main reasons for marriage was slavery. You're talking about an institution during which, for most of its existence in western society, the women were not allowed to have property, were literally "sold" to other families using money & assets, and were forced into servitude in the form of manual labor where their submission to their husbands was mandated by both law and church. Anyone who failed to abide by this was labeled a witch and killed, publicly, to send a message to everyone else that they should be mindless, powerless sheep.

The idea of marriage being a love based partnership by two "equals" is a modern fiction that was hatched up to save marriage once the masses saw it as the farce it was.


Many women in the 60's walked out on their families to burn their bras because a few airheads told them it was ok.

Many women in the 60s were simply tired of the bullshit that was going on back then. Did you know that American colleges, as late as the 1970s in some cases, were requiring married female applicants to bring their husbands with them to apply, to prove that their husbands were ok with them going to school? Next time you talk with some female senior citizens, ask them about "bringing your daddy" to social events in the 50s-60s and see what they say (a hint: it had nothing to do with their biological fathers...). A practice not as widespread in the 20s or 30s.

Women in the late Victorian era actually had more social liberty than the housewives of the 1950s-early 1960s. Think about that for a minute, that was an era when showing your ankle in public would cause a scandal. In the Victorian era it was expected that women of class would engage in social pursuits: charity work, writing, etc. The idea of middle & upper class women being house-slaves engaged in continuous cleaning & baking was a post WW2 fiction. The idea of professional men having their women do so much work would have been appalling: that's what the servants were for.

And don't say "the 60s was why women started having their own careers." Women were always workers in the lower classes. Whether it was to help out in the field on family farms, to bring home bags of clothing to sew from the local garment business (a practice called "putting out") or home laundry business- working class families always had both spouses employed. So why wouldn't a woman work? Because back then employers paid professional (middle class) employees a living wage where the male head of household was paid well enough they could buy whatever they wanted without running into a lot of financial trouble. Fast forward 80 years and a single middle class salary just wasn't going to cut it in a world of consumer goods like automobiles, radios, television sets, high-tech appliances. Add to that compulsory education (employers believing that employees are only good if they have a college degree to their names, no matter how much real world expertise they have) and you have a dangerous situation where choosing to stay home puts the quality of life for you children at risk. Male heads of household back in the 60s would never admit that their salary was insufficient of course, that would have been like saying "hey, my cock is too small!" Their egos wouldn't allow it. You bet they'd be pissed if their wife "abandoned their family to go work," that would be proof that there was a problem.

It was a damned if they do, damned if they don't for women of class. If they worked they were "abandoning their family to work." If they didn't work, they were "burdening their family by spending their husband's hard earned money." The alternative would have been what, exactly?

[gotchagood]

Sorry, but marriage was and still is for protection, ask someone who has never had sex with anyone else other than their spouse if they've ever had a VD or if either are HIV positive. I bet my left nut, they'd say "no" to both. "Protection". Also, compare a married couples income to that of a single person. (Financial security, especially if children are involved) By the way, don't try to turn this into another poor women feminist plight. Stop picking out little bits of stuff to try to make it seem that women were the only ones who took crap and had it sooo bad. Let's talk about what men had to deal with for a change. First, to my knowledge, I didn't hear of women lining up to take their husbands places when the "draft" letter came. Many women went to work because their husbands were either "dead" or at war in France, Germany, Korea, Vietnam, you name it. Also, the concept back then was that women "worked" in the home, it "was" their job and men went outside the home to work. Also, societies oppressive concept then(that's still alive today) is that if a man didn't/don't "PROVIDE" then he isn't a man, many men believed this concept (still do) even to the point of death. Many men back then even left home/state to find work be it on the railways etc. By the way, Look up how many "men" died while building the Empire State Building, Trade Center bombing, go visit Arlington, for many men going to war was a means to obtain "employment" (ego..yeah). By the way, I didn't see nor hear of "one" female body pulled from that mine in NC.

Back in the depression this concept caused many men to seek relief by killing themselves, sometimes their families or many turned to alcohol because they couldn't "PROVIDE". Oh and just like today, I feel real bad for the women who while their husbands are/were out making money, they shop till they drop, have a nanny, attend all of the big events, travel and sit in spas all day and then have nerve to say I'm oppressed and asks a judge for 80 million dollars of "his" money in divorce court! While all the while have access to education etc.

Do you actually think that if marriage was abolished that people will just say fine remain single and not want to spend more than one night together??? Do you know that people who are in the bush who've never seen white man nor pen and paper manage to marry, jump the broom or whatever?? Marriage is not something that "man" created. It will exist be it bad or good and there are a lot of good ones out there.

Now, don't get me wrong Sarah, I know a lot of bad things happened to women in the past and I will not in anyway condone the behavior of many of the men in that era. No one should be treated or have to endure the garbage and punishments that so many women had to absorb in the past. I also think that a lot of the feminist concepts were/are a good thing, it's just that many are IMO overboard with some things, "like wanting to share the men's toilet with me".


Hope you have a good day

[dan_drade]

If any of you guys will only read 3 books in your life before you commit to a relationship, this book has to be on that list. I wish something like this was required reading before I signed my first marriage license back in '78 and that sweetheart that I grew up with from childhood turned into a vicious,batshit crazy, bitch almost overnight right after we got married.

Lol, i never heard of that book, but that sucks for you dude. The best thing you can do is get the hell out of that marriage. Thats what I did.

[dan_drade]

Oh, one more thing.

You know why divorce is so expensive?

[dan_drade]

Because it's worth it. :)

[sunairco]

I didn't mean for this thread to become a referendum on marriage or women's rights. I 'm merely attempting to point out that societal changes and poor parenting during the past few generations has developed maladaptive behaviors and unreasonable expections in young women as a result. Many of these histrionic and narcissistic behaviors are what attracts the guy's attention in the first place. What makes a woman interesting,fun,and desirable doesn't necessarly translate into a partner that's fit for a long term relationship.

[gotchagood]

I didn't mean for this thread to become a referendum on marriage or women's rights. I 'm merely attempting to point out that societal changes and poor parenting during the past few generations has developed maladaptive behaviors and unreasonable expections in young women as a result. Many of these historonic and narcissistic behaviors are what attracts the guy's attention in the first place. What makes a woman interesting,fun,and desirable doesn't necessarly translate into a partner that's fit for a long term relationship.
Well said, I "definitely" agree with you 100%.

Have a great day