saying sorry

[jaycanuck]

So 2 parties have made mistakes....and there is a long period of silence. Would you be the first to say sorry? What if the other person didn't own up to their mistakes? How would you feel about that?

It just happened to me...that's why I'm asking.

[cookiepuss]

If this involved a good friend, I'd step up and say "sorry". Life's too short to hold a grudge against a good friend (even if they're in the wrong). Now, if this a casual acquaintance, I may get a 3rd party to intervene.

In the past, I've told the fucker "your wrong" and kept it up 'till they relinquished.

Good luck. These situations can be awkward.

[2009AD]

So 2 parties have made mistakes....and there is a long period of silence. Would you be the first to say sorry? What if the other person didn't own up to their mistakes? How would you feel about that?

It just happened to me...that's why I'm asking.

From your posts, you seem like a cool guy Jay. Be the bigger man/person, reach out to the other person.

[eclipsemint]

So 2 parties have made mistakes....and there is a long period of silence. Would you be the first to say sorry? What if the other person didn't own up to their mistakes? How would you feel about that?

It just happened to me...that's why I'm asking.

Always. Especially if you were right. How important is the friendship to you. (But that is just me. Others would advise to explain calmly if you didn't feel you didn't say or do anything wrong. But I'm not that perfect; I always push things too far and press people's wrong buttons. I'm a smartass.)

People are not exactly the same, and differences are inevitable. The wrong time and place can escalate any argument into a fight.

If you can get past the disagreement your friendship can be even stronger after. Let things cool off, but don't leave it too long to repair things.

[BLKGSXR]

So 2 parties have made mistakes....and there is a long period of silence. Would you be the first to say sorry? What if the other person didn't own up to their mistakes? How would you feel about that?

It just happened to me...that's why I'm asking.Personally- Burn that bridge and part ways.

[Jericho]

If you're in the right, fuck 'em!
If you're in the wrong, fuck 'em anyway, for being unforgiving pricks! :shrug

[tsmandy]

Forgive and forget. Unless you consider the person to be seriously bad news, state your feelings and close that chapter in your life.

[Danielle Foxx]

Being recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder I would like to say a few things about being sorry...

People usually expect others to hear and do not do enough listening - I go on pretty much on my own with the exceptions of a few friends because of people's inability to allow me to be human and make mistakes.

I recently lost a friend who still to this day talks bad about me to others while forgetting her own contribution to the end of our friendship. It hurts me that people make assumptions about my character, it hurts me to know what is in my heart and yet it speaks a foreign language.

The beauty of being human is allowing people to stumble, make mistakes, be human, allow them to be sad, happy, mad, to live their emotions without judgement, not forgetting that they make mistakes as well.

People are not born bad - it is not a natural human characteristic. It is not one of our animal instincts - it is a behavior that is learned. Everyone has a reason for stumbling.

The best way to deal with mean actions is to try and understand where the root of the issue really is... Someone who gives you bad service at a store or doesn't stop the car so you can cross the street, hold doors, may as well have lost someone, they may be depressed, unfulfilled, they may just need someone to listen.

Truth is people suck - and not in a good way

[rockabilly]

To err is human to forgive is divine.

[Cubpocalypse]

One other variable is what the argument/fight is about. Some things can be easily forgiven/forgotten (being late for an airport pickup, trivia question answer, go-cart mishap). Others things are unforgivable even if they are apologetic. Screwing your g/f, messing with your relationship with her or borrowing large sums of money fall in the latter category.

[jaycanuck]

All very good advice. Thanks. Just so you know I did apologize for my part in this....but I pretty much expected what I got from her end.

[tsmandy]

Truth is - if you were really sorry for something then you should not have done it to begin with.

I disagree. People fuck up, I do all the time....especially with the people I love. I admit when I'm wrong and try to make amends, and my closest friends and lovers understand that I have some dark sides to my personality. Life is just too short to stay mad at anyone when things can be worked out. I try to focus on my own behavior patterns, try to watch what I say when I'm agitated (cause I have a tongue that is sweet as honey or sharp as razor blades, so I have to be careful).

[tsmandy]

All very good advice. Thanks. Just so you know I did apologize for my part in this....but I pretty much expected what I got from her end.

Sometimes thats all you can do. Say your piece and move on.

[Danielle Foxx]

One other variable is what the argument/fight is about. Some things can be easily forgiven/forgotten (being late for an airport pickup, trivia question answer, go-cart mishap). Others things are unforgivable even if they are apologetic. Screwing your g/f, messing with your relationship with her or borrowing large sums of money fall in the latter category.


Money is a big source of hardship






Truth is - if you were really sorry for something then you should not have done it to begin with.

I disagree. People fuck up, I do all the time....especially with the people I love. I admit when I'm wrong and try to make amends, and my closest friends and lovers understand that I have some dark sides to my personality. Life is just too short to stay mad at anyone when things can be worked out. I try to focus on my own behavior patterns, try to watch what I say when I'm agitated (cause I have a tongue that is sweet as honey or sharp as razor blades, so I have to be careful).

Ain't that the truth

[rockabilly]

Money is the root of all evil ... but try living w/o any.

[rockabilly]

:(

[Quiet Reflections]

Step up and take responsibility for your own actions even if they don't. i say forgive but don't forget

[Distance]

Step up and take responsibility for your own actions even if they don't. i say forgive but don't forget

My sentiment exactly.
To forgive, yet never forget. Being a man is knowing where you failed, not only apologize, but learn from it and never make the same mistake again.

[2009AD]

All very good advice. Thanks. Just so you know I did apologize for my part in this....but I pretty much expected what I got from her end.

Yep, I don't know you personally, but I figured you'd take the high road. You've done your part and for that you are the better person.

[tsslutboy]

People make mistakes all the time its if we learn from our mistakes.

[tao1kiku]

You did the right thing, you had the courage to make the apology. What the other party does with it is up to them. But a least you can sleep at night knowing you did the right thing and made an effort to salvage the relationship.

Hopefully one day the other person will wake up and realize this.

[MacShreach]

So 2 parties have made mistakes....and there is a long period of silence. Would you be the first to say sorry? What if the other person didn't own up to their mistakes? How would you feel about that?

It just happened to me...that's why I'm asking.

Interesting that no-one has yet mentioned the nature of the relationship. Some relationships, if it hasn't blown over in 48 hours, I'll do whatever is required to get things back on an even keel, even if it means apologising when I don't really feel I'm completely to blame. Life is too short to do anything else. Obviously, there are some offences that just can't be forgiven, but they're very few. I would never fall out with a member of my family over money, for example--I mean, fuck, it's only money. It is surprising how pride can turn an issue that could be resolved into a cold war if you let it.

Other relationships, fuck with me once and they never get the chance again. I am pretty relaxed with people and tend to trust them anyway. I have only rarely had that blow up in my face.

Overall it just depends how important the relationship is to me, and its place in my life.

[jaycanuck]

It was a rather big part of my life. I guess that's why I did it. Both sides have tried to move on and the relationship is probably over. Who knows..

[rockabilly]

Its better to have love and lost than never have loved at all.

[Jericho]

Its better to have love and lost than never have loved at all.

Not always.
Sometimes, it would have been better to have never met the bitch!

Platitudes are ok, but they don't cover every eventuality.

[stillies77]

I'm a big softee...I crack first always...sigh.

[JINNOGO]

So 2 parties have made mistakes....and there is a long period of silence. Would you be the first to say sorry? What if the other person didn't own up to their mistakes? How would you feel about that?

It just happened to me...that's why I'm asking.

Say ur sorry. Just dont push it. If she acts like a cunt then let her be that way, and walk away.