Just a few ?'s for ya'll

[veriTaS]

Hey all...so I've had a few questions that have been bothering me for a while, and I'm sure they’ve been asked before...but I'd like all of ya'lls (Ya, I'm from Texas) input. And reading a few posts where somebody was torn a new one, I'll put a disclaimer on it: I don't mean to degrade the business of escorting; I really don't have an opinion one way or the other. I don't play that game, but that's just my choice...I find a ltr more satisfying, and I don’t think I could handle with what I would consider to be an open relationship. I have dated a few ts women, and my current gf of 8 months is ts as well. Sorry, I’m kinda ramblin on…

Well, you probably could have guessed it by now…but my question is why do so many ts women escort?

The most common answer I found, basically to pay the bills…and to help finish with the work that they desire. At least that’s why they start out doing it (I’ll admit that a lot of this is based on assumption and from what I’ve read). Ok, here’s where I’ll catch the most flak : Is it really just a job? Don’t most girls get the work done to be accepted as women by themselves, men, and society? So when the work is done, why continue escorting? Is it body image thing (similar to eating disorders…where it’s never good enough), could it be that you’ve become used to all the intimacy, or is it tough to leave out of fear…because it ironically, it feels safer.

I’m more curious if when you gals started your transitions if you were planning on escorting or if it came more of as a last resort. I mean every girl wants the fairytale ending, no? (well, I guess you could consider Pretty Woman just that) I’m just wondering if maybe it’s because girls get jaded because time after time guys let them down. Are there just not enough good guys out there seriously interested in ts women? I mean, I’m guessing if the guy of your dreams came into your life and wanted you to give it up…that you would. Is it a classic story of romantic turned hopeless romantic turned hopeless?

I will say that I was raised in a rather conservative environment…man meets woman, falls in love, end of story. I just carried over this belief system when I realized that I liked ts women. Is this not the way within a lot of the community?

Again, I truly didn’t mean any harm by this or to condone escorting…you can call me young and naïve if you’d like, but I’m really just curious. Food for thought if nothing else.

Ya’ll take care…and have a nice day

Tear away…

[Christastic]

I have no knowledge one way or the other, so this may be an ignorant response, but: do they? This is part of the whole "passing" thing that confuses me, in that I don't question whether a woman is biologically male or not when I see them on the street. Very few women, genetic or not, "pass", at least by the standards I've been able to observe on this forum and my limited interaction with the T-community. So perhaps only a fraction of transgendered women escort, but you don't realize it because when you go looking for transgendered women you look first where you know you'll find them, i.e., as escorts. And those who don't you pass on the street because you assume they're genetic, unless there is a glaring male characteristic. Does that make sense? It may be way off base. I don't know.

[veriTaS]

That makes alot of sense Chris...but I still have the inkling that the number is inordinately high. And I guess you could always play the supply and demand card, "world's oldest profession for a reason", and all that jazz. Which that could very well be the reason...but from the ts ladies I've had the pleasure of knowing (the one's that did escort), I get the distinct impression that if they had the option they wouldn't do it. And I guess I should state that this probably runs true for most any girl, ts or gg, I think it's just alot more prevalent in ts community. And I never really knew any gg escorts.

Thanks Chris, any ladies care to share?

[SarahG]

This is part of the whole "passing" thing that confuses me, in that I don't question whether a woman is biologically male or not when I see them on the street. Very few women, genetic or not, "pass", at least by the standards I've been able to observe on this forum and my limited interaction with the T-community.

Passing and beauty standards are two different things, but they are things that are linked.

Passing is largely about how random strangers see someone. Take a girl, trans or GG- and follow them around and see if strangers address them with "sir" or "miss/mam." If everyone keeps saying "sir" instead of miss/mam, they're not passing as a girl.

Beauty standards on the other hand are more encompassing than what gender people see you as. Example: a 500 lb woman. Someone who is so fat that they weigh 500 pounds could still pass as a girl, but they're probably not going to be considered attractive (at least, not usually).

[MacShreach]

I have no knowledge one way or the other, so this may be an ignorant response, but: do they? This is part of the whole "passing" thing that confuses me, in that I don't question whether a woman is biologically male or not when I see them on the street. Very few women, genetic or not, "pass", at least by the standards I've been able to observe on this forum and my limited interaction with the T-community. So perhaps only a fraction of transgendered women escort, but you don't realize it because when you go looking for transgendered women you look first where you know you'll find them, i.e., as escorts. And those who don't you pass on the street because you assume they're genetic, unless there is a glaring male characteristic. Does that make sense? It may be way off base. I don't know.

It's certainly not an ignorant response. One thing that you have to understand is that actual statistical evidence on this topic is as rare as hen's teeth. We do know that some transgender women are in some form of sex work. Anecdotal evidence certainly gives the impression that the numbers are quite high, but actually there are just no stats to give us a reliable estimate of what proportion of the total that forms, and the trouble with anecdotal evidence is that it is totally dependent on the observer's viewpoint.

There are very important cultural factors which are routinely ignored or misunderstood, and further complicate the issue. As well as this, there is a number of transgender women who actually transition in order to do sex work; since there is literally nothing in the form of follow up studies on the lives of these individuals, we simply don't know what happens when they retire. So to what extent they are transgendered in any "real" way, and to what extent they are just actors in role, we don't know.

Furthermore, amongst those transsexual women who have had GRS or intend to, the situation is just as vague. A significant number never escort. A significant number (albeit of a very small population) simply vanish--they are in deep stealth and are never "outed." Many have successful professional careers. Far more than is often thought live as married women. A few do sex work, but they do not appear (at least) to be very common.

So, possibly the proportion is elevated over the proportion of natal women who work in the sex business. But we really don't know.

Furthermore, the motivation does not appear to be solely financial. There is a definite sense in which some transgender women see their attractiveness to men, measured in the extent to which men will pay them for sex, is a gratification, a measure of their success as a desirable sex partner, and an affirmation of their femininity. Once again, we just don't know how many this applies to.

Sarah has covered "passing" very well, as usual, and I would just point out that, outwith certain situations, most of us are predisposed to allow a "pass." That's because when we see what appears to be a woman, in a street or driving a car, say, we simply file that person as "woman" and move on. Most of us don't check every apparent woman we see to make sure she is really female. We only do this when there is some reason to. That is why beauty and passability should not be confused, and indeed, beauty may be a spook in itself, because beauty attracts attention, that second look, the closer examination that may reveal an incongruency that leads to the girl being clocked.

[GIRUGAMESH]

everybody escorts for the same reason: tons of rich men want to fuck you, so why not make money. watch The Girlfriend Experience with Sasha Grey http://megavideo.com/?v=3CJCG4A3

[RubyTS]

^ not true. Each girl has their own reasons.

Mainly being that girls are sick of being used for what they can offer physically/ u were absolutely on point when u said not enuf guys seriouslty interested in dating ts women. Especially, not very many guys the girls would be interested in.

#2 Surgical procedures can be quite expensive. We dont wanna be 50 yrs old and just starting to feel comfortable in out own skin, which would happen if we had to save working a legitimate job (if some of us could even find one that wont discriminate)

#3 The money power and respect. In this industry we actually feel in control as oppose to outside wheree we are constantly judged and ridiculed by society. Its a place where we feel valued. Supply and demand is a motherfucker. Soooo many guys wanna screw us, not enuf guys wanna love us. Its a fair trade off i guess.

[RubyTS]

ALSO i must add that a lot of trannies arent even trannies at all. SOME begin dressing for fun and realize that they can make money doing it, get involved with tgirls who put them on hormones and steer them in the right direction... etc. They view it as a business opportunity more than a lifestyle. I've known lots of "girls" like this. There are also lots of "girls" on sites like eros and cl who are actually just gay boys dressed as girls who advertise as transexual. Some of them do a pretty good job of passing, but actually live 2 seperate lives! One being a boy in the daytime, and a ts online! I WONT name names, but i can think of quite a handful off the top of my head

[jamiecoxxdotcom]

I started because after 10 years of slinging pizzas, telemarketing, and countless CSR positions it was nice to make the same amount of money in an hour that would usually take two weeks of corporate labor to pull off. Plus, duh, sex and money at the same time? I think anyone whose attributes can command a dollar should try it for a short span of time if only to take a vacation from the way you're suppose to live life. Put a little 'danger' in your life for crying out loud. You know, I've never really had a bad experience... an awkward one here, a boring one there, but for the most part escorting and living on our economy's strange little fringes have made me happier in the past 4 years than all of my previous work history in the 'real world' combined. More importantly, my stories are so much better now. I have like 9 Tom Waits albums worth of interesting anecdotes to my name that I would never have had if it weren't for escorting and all the opportunities that have sprung from it. That's worth so much more than money to me. Validation never crossed my mind when I began, still doesn't. Also, I'm a loner, homebody so the whole warped relationship angle doesn't apply to me either. I simply think it's nice to make people happy and have them feel like your services are worth reciprocating. Some guys just need that lil' bit of adventure, some guys need a mental space that doesn't resemble there wife and mortgage, and some people are just lonely but are aware they are socially retarded so they pay for companionship. We're not all winners but we all have the right to spend our money as we see fit. I pass judgment on no one and everybody I encounter gets the best service I can provide. I'll begrudgingly admit that my result are more than likely atypical but that's only because I'm a retardedly careful planner, I've never done drugs and I don't drink or party... every dime goes into my video productions, my home studio, bills and bank accounts.

I type and type. Now I'm done.

[alyssats]

I think most guys just treat us as sex material not all but mostly. Even some guys who call me saying they want to make friends with me and he dont want to be a client and not interested to pay. When I started making friends with him I couldnt feel his treating me as a friend but still more of a sex object. He will just call me in the middle of night seems he like to have free sex. But when im in need of shoulders to lean on and a friend i could bring to have lunch,dinner, go shopping, see my doctor and other things his not interested at all. I dont want to experience being used by guys then after they will just leave you as a garbage at least if i escort ill get paid in return and feel more importance and appreciated.

[RubyTS]

^so simple but well said. Very VERY true