Dating girls not 100% passable

[dc_guy_75]

I've dated a variety of tgirls and while I've never dated a girl who was 100% passable (I'm not that lucky), I've found that if you focus the conversation on her, you tend not to notice the double-takes and people trying to listen in on the conversation.

Maybe I'm being paranoid, but I can sense it sometimes (and I realize 99% of people can give a fuck, most are just curious)

Of course, being with a tgirl, you're only experiencing a fraction of what they have to deal with everytime they go out in public...

How do people here deal with it when their date is clocked?

Any advice, I'm just trying to deal with it.

[JamesHunt]

I've dated a variety of tgirls and while I've never dated a girl who was 100% passable (I'm not that lucky), I've found that if you focus the conversation on her, you tend not to notice the double-takes and people trying to listen in on the conversation.

Maybe I'm being paranoid, but I can sense it sometimes (and I realize 99% of people can give a fuck, most are just curious)

Of course, being with a tgirl, you're only experiencing a fraction of what they have to deal with everytime they go out in public...

How do people here deal with it when their date is clocked?

Any advice, I'm just trying to deal with it.

If you're out on a date with a tranny, or even just out socializing as fellow members of the human race, and somone gives her and you that look, just grab hold of her crotch and start a heavy snogging session, they'll usually fuck off :wink:

[Jericho]

How do people here deal with it when their date is clocked?
Any advice, I'm just trying to deal with it.

Unless they really get in your face, pay 'em no mind, just ignore them.

[TsJennifer]

Wow. Thats a good point to bring up. Im curious to hear what guys say.

When I first transitioned my biggest concern was to be passable now I really dont care if people were to clock me. "So what if Im a TS, Im hotter than most women!" Thats the outlook most TS girls should have if there afraid of being clocked!

[marcelloNYC]

"Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never harm me."

Focus on her and only her—pay them no mind.

By saying something back, you may be provoking them to do something more. If you are alone, you first concern is protecting the woman you are with. Be smart.

[NYBURBS]

Wow. Thats a good point to bring up. Im curious to hear what guys say.

When I first transitioned my biggest concern was to be passable now I really dont care if people were to clock me. "So what if Im a TS, Im hotter than most women!" Thats the outlook most TS girls should have if there afraid of being clocked!

I think it's a matter of growing comfortable with yourself and what you like. The first time I went out on a public date with a TS I was paranoid about every glance or what people thought. Now I care far less but I think it also helps to just concentrate on the person you're out with instead of everything going on around you. It also helps if you're out in a place like NYC where people are more inclined to mind their own business. Just my two cents :wink:

[Quiet Reflections]

if you worry what others think you will end up very lonely. there is no such thing as 100% passable even the hottest get clocked on occasion I'm sure. just treat them like the ladies they are and you will be fine

[jaycanuck]

Don't care. I was with a girl on a street car one night and a lot of people around us were staring. I just didn't acknowledge. I saw the hotness I had with me. :)

[TsJANIRA]

If you care about the person it should not be a factor, and if you do care ......then that is your insecurity not hers.




Many men are quick to be with a transsexuals behind closed doors (Passable or not)......But in public they look like their about to run off screaming,,, due to the fact that they cant handle being public with a ts.



Very few men have their balls on right , to not care what the world thinks of their preference in Ts's.....VERY FEW!

[Quiet Reflections]

If you care about the person it should not be a factor, and if you do care ......then that is your insecurity not hers.




Many men are quick to be with a transsexuals behind closed doors (Passable or not)......But in public they look like their about to run off screaming,,, due to the fact that they cant handle being public with a ts.



Very few men have their balls on right , to not care what the world thinks of their preference in Ts's.....VERY FEW!

I cant imagine a man alive that wouldn't want you on his arm in public

[JamesHunt]

,,, due to the fact that they cant handle being public with a ts.


FWIW, I'd have no problems handling you in public :P

My hands would be everywhere :lol:

[astridgirl]

I think the hardest thing for me is when my Male Date gets clocked for not being a "real man". I almost break down and cry right there because jeez people dont realize what a guy goes through and they just cant achieve that level of "Real Manness" I need in my partners.

Usually though we have a good cry session in his mid size two wheel drive half bed pickup truck because he doesnt just get a real truck like an F150 but you know they only sell them to "Real unclockable Men".

Okay just a bit of fun but I agree with Jennifer I am at the point that if someone clocks me I just think of the guys who have bought my meals out of nowhere for some pleasant conversation and a hugg. Or the free upgrades to luxury cars I get at the airports because I am a 5'10" big boobed pleasant transsexual or girl or well whatever. Not the best looking Gurl but I get by.

Never had a guy worry about being with me because he was afraid that someone might clock me. Usually hes concentrating more on whats going to happen at the end or during the evening.

Cheers and just my irritating and sarcastic two cents,

LOL

Astrid

[NYBURBS]

I think the hardest thing for me is when my Male Date gets clocked for not being a "real man". I almost break down and cry right there because jeez people dont realize what a guy goes through and they just cant achieve that level of "Real Manness" I need in my partners.

Usually though we have a good cry session in his mid size two wheel drive half bed pickup truck because he doesnt just get a real truck like an F150 but you know they only sell them to "Real unclockable Men".


lol classic 8)

[Willie Escalade]

Not the best looking Gurl but I get by.
Are you kidding me? When I first saw you I thought "Damn, that's a nice statuesque babe there!" And I'm pretty sure I'm not alone with that assessment.

As for being on a date with someone who's "non-passable", I agree with what Jennifer said. I'll take the looks as envy or jealousy!

[samstl99]

OK Hon.. first off you have no reason posting in the "Non Passable TGirl" topic... LOL. You never have to worry about being clocked.. and lets use this for comparison.....

Supermodel... 5'10" - 6' tall.. Beautiful bone structure.. amazing skin, long legs that are gorgeous.. in shape.. fit.. great hair.. and a personality that comes across on camera and lastly.. someone that people.. guys and girls cant stop looking at... and wondering.... "If we were alone..................."

Astrid.... ummm.. Well just replace Supermodel with your name.. and we have the same person... except for one thing.. Most Supermodels have the IQ of their makeup.. and you are exceptionally intelligent.

Personally.. I cant wait for us to get to baseball game together.. and watch everyone drool over who I am with.. *S*.

Talk to you soon..

[Bob's Tgirls]

I've dated a variety of tgirls and while I've never dated a girl who was 100% passable (I'm not that lucky), I've found that if you focus the conversation on her, you tend not to notice the double-takes and people trying to listen in on the conversation.

Maybe I'm being paranoid, but I can sense it sometimes (and I realize 99% of people can give a fuck, most are just curious)

Of course, being with a tgirl, you're only experiencing a fraction of what they have to deal with everytime they go out in public...

How do people here deal with it when their date is clocked?

Any advice, I'm just trying to deal with it.

To be honest, my way of dealing with it is I don't give a shit if people clock my date or how they feel about it. And if someone does talk some shit, I'll just put my arm around her or hold her hand. I think that is the most supportive thing you can do for her in that situation.

[T-girl hound]

If they give funny looks don't sweat it, if it becomes verbal harassment use wise judgement. Anything physical well give him what he deserves but be smart and don't get you and the lady jumped

[MacShreach]

If they give funny looks don't sweat it, if it becomes verbal harassment use wise judgement. Anything physical well give him what he deserves but be smart and don't get you and the lady jumped

I agree, except I think it's better to avoid a physical confrontation at all costs. Remember that the kind of bottom-feeder we are talking about won't think twice about giving the girl a hammering, or for that matter a bottle in the face, and she's the one you have to look out for. Ignore, humour, use diplomacy, back off, stay with a crowd, get out safe.

Remember too that if you do end up decking the guy, or you go back later and give him the panelling he so richly deserves, the girl is now marked out as a revenge target. These scum don't regard transwomen as women, so she's in danger and you can't always be with her.

Much tougher laws are required regarding this and hate-crime penalties (or whatever they are called where you are) should be applied in every case of violence against transgender people.

[alpha2117]

The truth is very few girls are really 100% passable. If you are actually serious about dating a TS you need to accept that sometimes people will clock your partner. All the girls I have had long term relationships with have to be honest been too tall to ever really be 100% passable. You just need to be aware that sometimes people will clock her.

[TsJANIRA]

The truth is very few girls are really 100% passable. If you are actually serious about dating a TS you need to accept that sometimes people will clock your partner. All the girls I have had long term relationships with have to be honest been too tall to ever really be 100% passable. You just need to be aware that sometimes people will clock her.






Are you saying that Tall ts women aren't passable? In my early transition I have always heard that...."You cannot be Tall and be passable"................TOTAL CROCK!!!!!! Being that i am 6'0 ...and 6'4 with heels,, I had to to endure my height being at times a issue.....But not till I found that my stature is sexy and men have responded amazingly well and compliment me on my frame and height....I carry it very well. People are always going to find something to pick at Passable or not Who cares ! Like my mother taught me......Worry when people stop looking at you....its better to be looked at than over looked!

[blckhaze]

Anytime my gf or friends get looked at funny I keep walking. Most people dun say anything.

A little caveat, the higher class of places you go, the better treatment.

[alyssats]

I like this topic

Yes Ive dated a few guys(western) and Ive noticed some of them seem to be nervous or concious with the people around us when they are with me. I just dont get it Ive dated them whole heartedly and accepted them for who they are(old, bald, fat, fugly, average, hot, cute) yet i could feel sometimes they are kinda concern being with me in public. Some of them kinda paranoid sometimes like being with a TS is a big deal when honestly most people in my country doesnt care at all.

Many Filipino guys even like flaunting me with their friends saying im their girlfriend and few even want me to introduce to their parents as their girlfriend unlike Western guys who have many inhibitions being with a transsexual. I just dont get it :roll:

[astridgirl]

Alyssa

Its interesting cross culturally how many react. I did a graduate paper in a Gender and Human Sexuality class looking at cross cultural treatment and history of the Third gender when I was in College actually but first hand experience is always wonderful to hear about.

I have always wanted to visit Southeast Asia and the Philippines and now there are more reasons to go.

Cheers

Astrid

[tsntx]

Wow. Thats a good point to bring up. Im curious to hear what guys say.

When I first transitioned my biggest concern was to be passable now I really dont care if people were to clock me. "So what if Im a TS, Im hotter than most women!" Thats the outlook most TS girls should have if there afraid of being clocked!


totally agree. i didnt spend $40k on my look so that way some jackass still living in a closet would feel more comfortable about taking me to the movies.... i did it so i could wake up and be jennifer. i did it so i could walk around town and be jennifer. i did it so if i wanted to go to walmart at 4am i could and still be jennifer when i go to bed. i am jennifer. i am a transexual. and if YOU have a problem w/ it... than how are you any different then the ppl staring at us at dinner?

[alyssats]

Alyssa

Its interesting cross culturally how many react. I did a graduate paper in a Gender and Human Sexuality class looking at cross cultural treatment and history of the Third gender when I was in College actually but first hand experience is always wonderful to hear about.

I have always wanted to visit Southeast Asia and the Philippines and now there are more reasons to go.

Cheers

Astrid

hi Astrid by the way your such a beauty, yes nice if you could visit SouthEast Asia sometime especially Thailand where most people dont care if youre a transsexual. Spend a vacation here with beautiful beaches and relax :wink:

Theres also some guys here whos kinda shy being with transsexuals I remember me and my TS friends met a group of cuty guys and drink together in their place. At first most of them are so shy being seen with us but after few weeks some of them are boyfriends of my TS friends already crazy. And they like being with us already. Sometimes they even invited us to sleep in their houses when its too late at night to go home even their parents and brothers and sisters all live together in one house. Chat and drink with their parents and brothers sometime. No big deal at all :)

[raiku9909]

never really been an issue for me, but then again my experience is limited. i find myself just getting overly defensive for the person i'm with, and that's more my problem than anyone elses.

[GIA LOVES RON]

I've dated a variety of tgirls and while I've never dated a girl who was 100% passable (I'm not that lucky), I've found that if you focus the conversation on her, you tend not to notice the double-takes and people trying to listen in on the conversation.

Maybe I'm being paranoid, but I can sense it sometimes (and I realize 99% of people can give a fuck, most are just curious)

Of course, being with a tgirl, you're only experiencing a fraction of what they have to deal with everytime they go out in public...

How do people here deal with it when their date is clocked?

Any advice, I'm just trying to deal with it.

This is a great topic. The whole dating with a 100% passable TS is an individual thing. I've been with my bf for 3 great years (it's like 20 years in gg's life). In that three years, there is a lot of hardships & obstacles. Mostly came from sexual frustration. My bf is hardbound straight meaning he likes vaginas (NO MORE, NO LESS). It doesn't matter to him if I looked more beautiful than his ex wife or ex gf. "A COCK IS A COCK" he said, it doesnt matter if its attached to a beautiful lady but he is cool with guys that likes that, he just happens to be not one of them. So when we first getting to know each other, it was a lot for him to take in. He lives in a regular suburb catholic guy with very TRADITIONAL PRACTICES.


When we first met. We we're walking and he put his jacket to me. It was freezing cold and he was the most SELFLESS PERSON i've ever met in the world. Right off the bat I wanted to seduce him, he stopped me and said he only have sex with the girl that he is deeply involve with (I know right?!). That quality of him made me think twice and said he is husband material. So he wanted to get to know the real me as a human being. I didn't wanna scare him off by telling my T. So when the time comes I needed to tell him. He freaked out and kinda like nervous. We talked more and he said "you know what Gia, its your good heart and great personality that matters to me not your past.


To be perfectly honest, he doesnt like TS, never did never will. He said he is just not gonna touch me down there if we ever ended up to be bf and gf. I am gonna get my SRS either way so he said then we're all in the same page then. I said great! He ended up flying me to massachusetts from las vegas where I lived before. I had a bad life in Vegas and to put the long story short, he saved me from a bad life that was gonna happen. I was digging my own grave slowly.


Before the relationship turned into the whole exclusive dating, I put it out to him that I might get clocked in public or with your family or friends. He said i'mnot worried you look like a girl, sound like one, acts like one. Im not worried. He said if I looked like a guy, he wouldn't even date me. LOL! I understood where he is coming from. But as a transgender person, I already had myself ready that if I get clocked when i'm with him then it would HURT me so badly. I would not want him to be in a situation where people are gonna hurt him or treat him deifferently because he's with me.


He's whole family, cousins, friends have met me and they don't have a fucking clue. If some of them did, I dont think they will bring it up coz it will make a big stir in his family. They think we're gonna have kids someday, get married. I wanna do all that but i can't bare children. NO SHIT! LOL! So we ended up kinda like if they did find out , we'll tell them that im a post op and he met me when I already have my vagina done. I said OK! Its for our safety, its not because he doesnt love me. He loves me deeply.


When we go out. My mind runs like a 50 million miles/min..... HAHHA! i think everybody knows im a tranny. TO me personally I could handle them ridiculing me as long as they dont get physical with me. I cant handle the fact that he could get hurt or someone might pick a fight because hes with me. Bu so far in 3 years, ive never had any problems in public with him. I tone down the whole personality I have when I'm by myself.


What's really important is that significant other has to love you more than you anything to be able to date a ts. Its a tough life but when you get through it together. ITS A BEAUTIFUL WONDERFUL FULFILLING THING! I love my life with him. I have to deal with my demons here and there.

I still have this secret of sleeping with guys that likes tgirls. Its sad I have everything I need except the SEX PART> I'm literally sexually frustrated. Coz the srs is not gonna be done anytime soon. Im not rich you know. LOL! But for what its worth im not giving away 3 years of wonderful lovefest just because of my lust! He is very loyal to me. I could honestly say to this board im not that loyal to him sexually. I"ve cheated and he doesnt know. What he doesnt know wont hurt him. WHAT SHOULD I DO YOU GUYS??????

He doesnt even have to see it or touch it. JUST FUCK ME FROM BEHIND! He said its weird for him. He only done it once with a gg. WHAT IF HE DOESNT LIKE MY FAKE PUSSY> All I know is my life with him is pretty damn good except for the sex part. I guess you cant have everything!!!! :cry:

So as to the topic. YES its possible to date transsexuals that could be passable or non passable. Its just an individual thing. LOVE SHOULD GO FIRST THAN WHAT SOCIETY THINKS!!! Worrying about a TS being 100%passable and all that is a WASTE OF EMOTION. WHO CARES WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINKS? As long as your not hurting anyone. Then its all good! At the end of the day, this so called body that we obsessed so much about is temporary, we're all gonna have to return it one day. SO while you have it. Fill your inner self with love. People are not walking around looking for trannies and clocks them, oh a she or a he? They have a lot of things going on in their lives (just like you!) that they wont go into details of he might be dating a "dude that looks like a lady". In real life, NOBODY GIVES TWO FUCK if your with a tranny. If they did, its their own problem NOT YOURS!

[hwbs]

u are always going to have this happen...is goes with the territory...it does not always even come down to being passable..some times the girl just stands out...few months back i went with this girl for breakfast...damn near half the restaurant was staring at us ...as long as the people don't get confrontational it really does not bother me..

[GIA LOVES RON]

u are always going to have this happen...is goes with the territory...it does not always even come down to being passable..some times the girl just stands out...few months back i went with this girl for breakfast...damn near half the restaurant was staring at us ...as long as the people don't get confrontational it really does not bother me..

I COMPLETELY AGREE!!!! Transsexuals are beautiful human beings, we stand out too much whether we dress it down or dress it slutty. SO it might not even about clocking us, it could be just people find you attractive and striking!

[TomSelis]

To be honest, my way of dealing with it is I don't give a shit if people clock my date or how they feel about it. And if someone does talk some shit, I'll just put my arm around her or hold her hand. I think that is the most supportive thing you can do for her in that situation.

This right here says it all. All you have to remember is that very few people are going to get verbally or physically confrontational about you being with a TS. Usually, when you put your arm around her or even better, pull her close and kiss her, people will back off.

If you care enough about the girl to be in a serious relationship with her, you're going to need to be supportive of her in public.

Realistically, everybody feels a little uncomfortable when they're being stared at. It's just the way it is. It's just something that you're going to have to get used to.

[Alchemist]

Never dated a TG. But if I did, I don't think it would bother all too much. I don't expect people to a flawless diamond. So long as she loves me, and doesn't have bad breath(sorry that is my biggest turn off). I'm okay with her not looking 100% passable. That's all there really is to it.

[dc_guy_75]

Thank you everyone for all the great advice.

Part of the reason why I posted the topic last night was because I'd just got home from a date with a girl who just transitioned last year. She's extremely intelligent, but she wore heels that made her my height (6'4"). She wanted to visit a popular restaurant and I was happy to take her there.

It was her first time going out with a guy post-transition, and she was noticeably nervous and spacey, I sensed that, and it rubbed off on me.

Previously, I've gone on a bunch of other dates (and had relationships) with tgirls who were more passable and I really didn't care/notice as much, if at all.

Anyways, it was a little stressful, more than I thought or than I've experienced in the past.

I ignored the stares (and she commented on them too), I did my absolute best to be resolute (which I was), but it was a slightly odd experience.

Its nice to hear that other people have gone through the thing, and its true, the only option is to ignore other people, and focus your attention on her.

Most of the girls to respond to this post are very beautiful and that goes along way, in social circumstances.

[marcelloNYC]

Alyssa

Its interesting cross culturally how many react. I did a graduate paper in a Gender and Human Sexuality class looking at cross cultural treatment and history of the Third gender when I was in College actually but first hand experience is always wonderful to hear about.

I have always wanted to visit Southeast Asia and the Philippines and now there are more reasons to go.

Cheers

Astrid

I would really love to read it, if you don't mind.
PS. "Not the prettiest gurl?" YOU ARE STUNNING!!!

[Legend]

I think it is kind if laughable that someone would sacrifice a person who they have feelings for and care about over total strangers, people shouldn't let society dictate who they care about.

[JamesHunt]

I think it is kind if laughable that someone would sacrifice a person who they have feelings for and care about over total strangers, people shouldn't let society dictate who they care about.

I'm in awe of your worldly experience :roll: You must be every trannys dream date :lol:

[dc_guy_75]

I think it is kind if laughable that someone would sacrifice a person who they have feelings for and care about over total strangers, people shouldn't let society dictate who they care about.

Whatever... thanks for your (usual) awesome insight Legend

[Legend]

I think it is kind if laughable that someone would sacrifice a person who they have feelings for and care about over total strangers, people shouldn't let society dictate who they care about.

I'm in awe of your worldly experience :roll: You must be every trannys dream date :lol:


You must don't get out much if you think that is "worldly experience" but from all your stupid random polls and threads that probably is the case.I've never dated a transgender women nor have i claimed to but i've dated before and i usually don't care what other people think about me or the person i'm with, i'm not like you i don't give a crap what other people think about me.Besides if your dating someone who you are embarrassed to be with in public why are you dating that person in the first place.

[Legend]

I think it is kind if laughable that someone would sacrifice a person who they have feelings for and care about over total strangers, people shouldn't let society dictate who they care about.

Whatever... thanks for your (usual) awesome insight Legend


No problem but next time when you're with someone try to focus on them and not the total strangers around you.

[JamesHunt]

^^^^^^^^^

:lol:

[NjTranceAddict]

I like all the positivity in this thread - it's refreshing.

For what it's worth, I've been picking my nose the whole time i've been reading, and I don't care who thinks what.

:P

[Danielle Foxx]

Blah Blah Blah... I don't give a shit because it's their loss anyway. Seriously, if a guy is like that and you started to date him... I just have no compassion for that.

Trans women need to grow a back bone. I am so glad I transitioned after puberty. I think you need to have had balls to know how have some. Life's tough and people suck. American's are tight asses, gossip, drama, ughhhhh.

Most men are just pricks anyway. I like being the person I am and I don't depend on someone's insecurities to make me a woman. I am a woman.

Hear me roar!

Now where is my teddy bear?

[mbf]

I only date unpassable ones.

reasons: I can't get into the pants of the passable ones anyways

second: I like the thrill of it

[alpha2117]

The truth is very few girls are really 100% passable. If you are actually serious about dating a TS you need to accept that sometimes people will clock your partner. All the girls I have had long term relationships with have to be honest been too tall to ever really be 100% passable. You just need to be aware that sometimes people will clock her.






Are you saying that Tall ts women aren't passable? In my early transition I have always heard that...."You cannot be Tall and be passable"................TOTAL CROCK!!!!!! Being that i am 6'0 ...and 6'4 with heels,, I had to to endure my height being at times a issue.....But not till I found that my stature is sexy and men have responded amazingly well and compliment me on my frame and height....I carry it very well. People are always going to find something to pick at Passable or not Who cares ! Like my mother taught me......Worry when people stop looking at you....its better to be looked at than over looked!


I'm not saying that being tall makes you not passable but what being tall does do is make people look at you more and opens up the possibility in peoples minds. They then look at other details.

I think you are an absolute glamour Janira and I am sure you carry your height very well but you know yourself that if you are 6'0 tall then some people are automatically going to consider the possibility that you aren't XX.

My point was that very few girls are 100% passable but that doesn't matter. If you are going to date a Ts you need to accept that sometimes people will clock your date and you need to accept that. If you say you are only going to date 100% passable girls then you will be lucky to ever find one.

You should be more concerned with the feelings of the person you are with rather than worrying if somebody you dont know notices the circumstances of their birth.

[MacShreach]

I did a graduate paper in a Gender and Human Sexuality class looking at cross cultural treatment and history of the Third gender

Astrid,

Would you think I was being very rude if I asked to see that? I am very interested in the cultural aspects of gender and would like to read it. If you PM me I'll send you my email. No offence whatsoever will be taken if you'd rather not though.

Cheers M

[marcelloNYC]

I did a graduate paper in a Gender and Human Sexuality class looking at cross cultural treatment and history of the Third gender

Astrid,

Would you think I was being very rude if I asked to see that? I am very interested in the cultural aspects of gender and would like to read it. If you PM me I'll send you my email. No offence whatsoever will be taken if you'd rather not though.

Cheers M

I also asked a few posts back.

[Danielle Foxx]

We as trans women or men cannot internalize the insecurities of others. I have witnessed this done to the most passible and the not so passible.

It took my ex's ex girlfriend to spill the T to his brother to make him introduce us. I was the first girl he ever took in public. The guy had his demons but I have never felt so comfortable with someone as I felt with him when we were out in public. I used to tell him to get off of me because he had a major PDA issue.

It is hard to find a perfect balance however it is very important for us not to be ashamed for someone else's demons. If someone cannot see past your shell into the core of who you are they are not giving you what you need. Love goes beyond sexuality. It is a spiritual connection and a bond that cannot be broken, even by society's stereo types.

When I was in Thailand recently I felt so welcome and I am sure they are way better trained to spot a TG then americans, but everyone was very complementary and extremely welcoming. It has also to be due to the influence of organized religion and the American's false hope of counting on a god to due things for them, a way of justifying doubting yourself, of asking for forgiveness for sins, when in fact the most important thing is just being honest with who you are and living an honest, loving life. That's what gets you the key to heaven.

[MrsKellyPierce]

I wont date men that only want to stay inside to watch a 'movie'

[Justawannabe]

Hard thread to read.

For the most part I completely agree, don't date someone who won't go out with you in public.

But, also keep in mind that sometimes you also have to respect other folks that have been in the guy's life for a while and need to be brought along a bit. Sometimes bold as brass works, sometimes it takes a talk over coffee first.

Second thought was be able to tell the difference between being ashamed of being out with a T person and having a reasonable fear that the intolerant waiter who just took your order is about to put something nasty in you salad.

Sean

[fred41]

LOL..my problem isn't people staring cause they're clocking my GF...it's that guys are staring at her cause she's hot and knows how to dress and I can be a jealous ass...but I can't always blame them for staring as long as they're not rude about it.

At a restaurant I don't always notice what goes on around me anyway (my skulls a little thick on account of being part Polish) and I'm usually just staring at her and totally enjoying her company (she smells good too ..when I'm with her I feel like I'm stoned)....

..However...if someone's going to go out of their way to really hurt her feelings (this is someone I care for after all)..then i will handle it "appropriatlely"! I'm not saying you should always be confrontational (I'm certainly not..well,.not usually...muchly..whatever)..but there are going to be times when you're going to have to use the balls the Good Lord gave you and stand up for your girl. I'm not saying you should get into fights left and right..then you'd just be an idiot.But there ARE times you might have to do something.

I've always liked latinas ..and they've always been tougher than most people I know (Shout out to you Latina girls)...and i respect that..totally .They WILL stand up for themselves..and if you're with someone like that and they stand up to defend themselves..and you're just sitting there..then you might as well just give up your "man card " right then and there.

I just wrote this to show you that there is "occasionally" another side to all this. ..and yes, I forgot who said it..but it does make a difference where you go.

[Danielle Foxx]

I don't need my man to tell his family and friends any of his personal business. What happens in the bedroom between me and him is no one's business but our own. What is between my legs is alo my business and if I chose to share it in intimacy with someone then so it be.

However, I want a man who is secure and confident enough to not have to worry about it to begin with.

" Hi mom and dad this is Danielle the lady who owns my heart".

[marcelloNYC]

.

" Hi mom and dad this is Danielle the lady who owns my heart".

:D That is what I would say.

[SarahG]

history of the Third gender

Not intending to hijack this thread but:

I have to admit I find the use of the term "third gender" troubling.

If we're to even buy into that trans people are some "other gender separate from GG's and GB's" then that is a theory involving no less than 4, and perhaps as many as 5 genders once you take... say- FtM's into consideration.

To say all trans people are a "third gender" is ridiculous if it means grouping FtM's and MtF's together as "one gender."

[Danielle Foxx]

history of the Third gender

Not intending to hijack this thread but:

I have to admit I find the use of the term "third gender" troubling.

If we're to even buy into that trans people are some "other gender separate from GG's and GB's" then that is a theory involving no less than 4, and perhaps as many as 5 genders once you take... say- FtM's into consideration.

To say all trans people are a "third gender" is ridiculous if it means grouping FtM's and MtF's together as "one gender."

LOL another example that being on the internet for too long burns brain cells...lol

So if transsexuals aren't the 3rd gender ( by the way thats the name of my production company ) then what are you jacking off to? Men? Because last time I checked I was born with a disorder called G.I.D. that's the most "medical" term they can give it without saying we are freaks.

What if this is actually part of human evolution? The evolution that is inevitable?

1 out of every 5 children are born transgender - someone please back em up with the science group that made it possible to know.

[phobun]

Focus on her and only her—pay them no mind.

This is good advice.

[phobun]

This is a great topic. The whole dating with a 100% passable TS is an individual thing. I've been with my bf for 3 great years (it's like 20 years in gg's life). In that three years, there is a lot of hardships & obstacles. Mostly came from sexual frustration. My bf is hardbound straight meaning he likes vaginas (NO MORE, NO LESS). It doesn't matter to him if I looked more beautiful than his ex wife or ex gf. "A COCK IS A COCK" he said, it doesnt matter if its attached to a beautiful lady but he is cool with guys that likes that, he just happens to be not one of them. So when we first getting to know each other, it was a lot for him to take in. He lives in a regular suburb catholic guy with very TRADITIONAL PRACTICES.


When we first met. We we're walking and he put his jacket to me. It was freezing cold and he was the most SELFLESS PERSON i've ever met in the world. Right off the bat I wanted to seduce him, he stopped me and said he only have sex with the girl that he is deeply involve with (I know right?!). That quality of him made me think twice and said he is husband material. So he wanted to get to know the real me as a human being. I didn't wanna scare him off by telling my T. So when the time comes I needed to tell him. He freaked out and kinda like nervous. We talked more and he said "you know what Gia, its your good heart and great personality that matters to me not your past.


To be perfectly honest, he doesnt like TS, never did never will. He said he is just not gonna touch me down there if we ever ended up to be bf and gf. I am gonna get my SRS either way so he said then we're all in the same page then. I said great! He ended up flying me to massachusetts from las vegas where I lived before. I had a bad life in Vegas and to put the long story short, he saved me from a bad life that was gonna happen. I was digging my own grave slowly.


Before the relationship turned into the whole exclusive dating, I put it out to him that I might get clocked in public or with your family or friends. He said i'mnot worried you look like a girl, sound like one, acts like one. Im not worried. He said if I looked like a guy, he wouldn't even date me. LOL! I understood where he is coming from. But as a transgender person, I already had myself ready that if I get clocked when i'm with him then it would HURT me so badly. I would not want him to be in a situation where people are gonna hurt him or treat him deifferently because he's with me.


He's whole family, cousins, friends have met me and they don't have a fucking clue. If some of them did, I dont think they will bring it up coz it will make a big stir in his family. They think we're gonna have kids someday, get married. I wanna do all that but i can't bare children. NO SHIT! LOL! So we ended up kinda like if they did find out , we'll tell them that im a post op and he met me when I already have my vagina done. I said OK! Its for our safety, its not because he doesnt love me. He loves me deeply.


When we go out. My mind runs like a 50 million miles/min..... HAHHA! i think everybody knows im a tranny. TO me personally I could handle them ridiculing me as long as they dont get physical with me. I cant handle the fact that he could get hurt or someone might pick a fight because hes with me. Bu so far in 3 years, ive never had any problems in public with him. I tone down the whole personality I have when I'm by myself.


What's really important is that significant other has to love you more than you anything to be able to date a ts. Its a tough life but when you get through it together. ITS A BEAUTIFUL WONDERFUL FULFILLING THING! I love my life with him. I have to deal with my demons here and there.

I still have this secret of sleeping with guys that likes tgirls. Its sad I have everything I need except the SEX PART> I'm literally sexually frustrated. Coz the srs is not gonna be done anytime soon. Im not rich you know. LOL! But for what its worth im not giving away 3 years of wonderful lovefest just because of my lust! He is very loyal to me. I could honestly say to this board im not that loyal to him sexually. I"ve cheated and he doesnt know. What he doesnt know wont hurt him. WHAT SHOULD I DO YOU GUYS??????

He doesnt even have to see it or touch it. JUST FUCK ME FROM BEHIND! He said its weird for him. He only done it once with a gg. WHAT IF HE DOESNT LIKE MY FAKE PUSSY> All I know is my life with him is pretty damn good except for the sex part. I guess you cant have everything!!!! :cry:

So as to the topic. YES its possible to date transsexuals that could be passable or non passable. Its just an individual thing. LOVE SHOULD GO FIRST THAN WHAT SOCIETY THINKS!!! Worrying about a TS being 100%passable and all that is a WASTE OF EMOTION. WHO CARES WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINKS? As long as your not hurting anyone. Then its all good! At the end of the day, this so called body that we obsessed so much about is temporary, we're all gonna have to return it one day. SO while you have it. Fill your inner self with love. People are not walking around looking for trannies and clocks them, oh a she or a he? They have a lot of things going on in their lives (just like you!) that they wont go into details of he might be dating a "dude that looks like a lady". In real life, NOBODY GIVES TWO FUCK if your with a tranny. If they did, its their own problem NOT YOURS!

Whoa. You are a pre-op TS in a 3 year relationship that is asexual and exclusive, with a Catholic guy who is "hardbound straight", and everything is peachy except your unsatisfied lust?

Most guys will not wait 3 years for sex, especially if the target date is unknown and far away in the future. Something is not right in Camelot. My guess is that this guy is either:

1) a loving, devoted eunuch
2) a nun trapped in a man's body, or
3) fibbing about his non-interest in transsexuals but loaded with too much Catholic guilt to actually have sex with you, quite possibly while getting some pussy on the side.

Are you sure he's faithful sexually? It is great that he loves you and treats you well, but something seems amiss.

[BrendaQG]

Like others have said, being clocked comes with the territory, and we should pay it no mind. A trained eye can always spot one of us no matter how may $$$$$$ we spend. (then they spot the sings of having had this or that surgery.)

As for the OP
On the subject of mind reading... a strange look does not always mean you are getting clocked. Unless someone says something and starts acting different you don't really know. Perhaps they are noticing how beautiful your date is.

[fred41]

As for the OP
On the subject of mind reading... a strange look does not always mean you are getting clocked. Unless someone says something and starts acting different you don't really know. Perhaps they are noticing how beautiful your date is.

LOL.....yup..now that happens a lot. You gotta get used to that too.

[jaycanuck]

Y'know..could also be them staring at the guy. Possibly something on his tie or shirt. Hate that and no one tells you. So embarrassing.

[SarahG]

So if transsexuals aren't the 3rd gender ( by the way thats the name of my production company )...


So let me get this straight, you're actually saying that MtF's and FtM's are the SAME gender? Seriously?

If you want to say that MtF's are a third gender fine, but that means FtM's are a fourth gender... to say anything else is simply crazy.


then what are you jacking off to?


Uh, what? I don't use porn when I masturbate. If a guy I am with wants to watch porn while we're having sex, I leave that up to him, it's not like I'd be paying attention to it. If the guy I was with wanted to watch bestiality porn with midgets in clown outfits I'd probably just laugh at him and say "as long as you don't expect me to be into that, whatever blows your skirt up."


Because last time I checked I was born with a disorder called G.I.D. that's the most "medical" term they can give it without saying we are freaks.

Then obviously, by "checked," that did not include any medical texts. If we're going to talk about clinical terms, transsexuality is actually called transsexualism under the ICD (international classification system of medical disorders). "Transsexuality," per the ICD- is a biological medical condition, that can/will include psychological duress. This is the classification system used by virtually the entire international community; the UN, the WHO, etc. If you don't believe me the actual classification number per the ICD-10 is F64.0 entitled "transsexualism." Per the ICD, the psychological duress is the SIDE EFFECT (a symptom) of being trans, NOT THE CONDITION itself!!!

In the American psychological field (APA stuff, i.e. the DSM), they use the term Gender Identity Disorder, when talking about psychological problems caused by being a transsexual. To put it in simple terms gender dysphoria is psychological duress relating to gender issues. If you don't have that psychological duress for whatever reason, then you are not gender dysphoric. HOWEVER, almost everyone who is trans has both the medical condition of transsexualism (per the ICD), and GID (per the APA's DSM). I have never met anyone who, even fully transitioned, was 100% free from at the least occasional psychological duress relating to trans issues... but medically speaking, its possible.

BTW if they remove GID from the DSM (they're writing the DSM5 as we speak and are considering removing it), transsexuality will still be listed by the ICD as a medical (not exclusively psychological) condition. What this means is, if they remove GID from the DSM then transsexuals will still have a medical problem, we just wouldn't be "crazy" or "mentally ill." At which point any duress caused by being trans (depression, self esteem issues, etc) will be listed as separate conditions (i.e. you'd be a "transsexual patient suffering from depression" instead of "a transsexual patient suffering from GID").

The plan/hope that some people have, is that GID will be removed from the DSM, and then transsexuality will be inputted into all the American diagnostic classification systems as a medical disorder without any psychological component- which would then allow people to force insurance companies to pay for hrt, srs etc.


1 out of every 5 children are born transgender - someone please back em up with the science group that made it possible to know.

As much as 20% of the population might be TG, but that includes TV's who wear women's clothing to jerk off. The percentage of people who are TS is notably smaller than that.

[Danielle Foxx]

Wow you told me on that one... good job!

I am glad you know me better then I know myself.

My experience is from childhood, I have baby videos of me putting on makeup - Helloooooooooo!!!! No one thought me that - I sure didn't learn it by going to google and using my copy and paste feature.

My experience is my own, no one owns that!

I consider myself to be a third gender because well... I am both. I have both characteristics of a man and woman. Always have. From personality to physical.

No google search or study can tell me who I am. Only I can say that. And as you use your terminology, I live my life based on experiences.

I agree with your last statement.

[phobun]

So if transsexuals aren't the 3rd gender ( by the way thats the name of my production company )...


So let me get this straight, you're actually saying that MtF's and FtM's are the SAME gender? Seriously?

If you want to say that MtF's are a third gender fine, but that means FtM's are a fourth gender... to say anything else is simply crazy.

Cool. A post-op pissing match.

[SarahG]

So if transsexuals aren't the 3rd gender ( by the way thats the name of my production company )...


So let me get this straight, you're actually saying that MtF's and FtM's are the SAME gender? Seriously?

If you want to say that MtF's are a third gender fine, but that means FtM's are a fourth gender... to say anything else is simply crazy.

Cool. A post-op pissing match.

Why do people always assume I'm a post-op? :?


Oh, and I've made a visual aid to clarify my position. I'm not saying considering tgirls to be a 3rd gender is impossible, but it would have to entail more than 3 genders... (see visual aid below).*

So let's say we do consider our world to be a 4-gender system (GG's, GB's, tgirls, and transguys). Why stop there? Why not have a 5th gender for people who claim there is no such thing as gender?

IMHO we (we being humans) try so hard to put every little thing, no matter what it is or what its significance is, into clearly organized charts & boxes. This works far better on paper then in nature...




* I tried to give the guy in my visual aid camel toe but decided that would be too much like work and took it out of the picture.

[peggygee]

I would have to say that I subscribe to the binary definitions of gender,
ie, male, female, and I firmly self identify as the latter and not the former.

However, I do understand that there may be others that would prefer to
self identify as a third gender.

[TsVanessa69]

if you worry what others think you will end up very lonely. there is no such thing as 100% passable even the hottest get clocked on occasion I'm sure. just treat them like the ladies they are and you will be fineThis is real talk. Girls I thought were flawless, Ive seen get clocked because they wer TOO real! I'm not 100% passable, but I no longer care what society thinks of me, I have my life to live. I work a real job in straight society and its not as bad as people think.

[tsntx]

if you worry what others think you will end up very lonely. there is no such thing as 100% passable even the hottest get clocked on occasion I'm sure. just treat them like the ladies they are and you will be fineThis is real talk. Girls I thought were flawless, Ive seen get clocked because they wer TOO real! I'm not 100% passable, but I no longer care what society thinks of me, I have my life to live. I work a real job in straight society and its not as bad as people think.


agree like i said before... i didnt have surgery to be a model or some faggots prized arm candy

i did it so i could wake up, live my life for me and go to bed at night w/ a body to match the way i saw myself

[TsVanessa69]

if you worry what others think you will end up very lonely. there is no such thing as 100% passable even the hottest get clocked on occasion I'm sure. just treat them like the ladies they are and you will be fineThis is real talk. Girls I thought were flawless, Ive seen get clocked because they wer TOO real! I'm not 100% passable, but I no longer care what society thinks of me, I have my life to live. I work a real job in straight society and its not as bad as people think.


agree like i said before... i didnt have surgery to be a model or some faggots prized arm candy

i did it so i could wake up, live my life for me and go to bed at night w/ a body to match the way i saw myself
Thats exatly how I feel about it. Just in my mind I was a woman with curves because that was the enviroment I came up in. But to be honest I kinda prefer the low key, working enviroment over the tranny world sometimes. The thing is, people outside the world or tranny and shemale, see you as a person with valid opinions, instead of a sex toy with a hard cock.

[MacShreach]

So if transsexuals aren't the 3rd gender ( by the way thats the name of my production company )...


So let me get this straight, you're actually saying that MtF's and FtM's are the SAME gender? Seriously?

If you want to say that MtF's are a third gender fine, but that means FtM's are a fourth gender... to say anything else is simply crazy.


then what are you jacking off to?


Uh, what? I don't use porn when I masturbate. If a guy I am with wants to watch porn while we're having sex, I leave that up to him, it's not like I'd be paying attention to it. If the guy I was with wanted to watch bestiality porn with midgets in clown outfits I'd probably just laugh at him and say "as long as you don't expect me to be into that, whatever blows your skirt up."


Because last time I checked I was born with a disorder called G.I.D. that's the most "medical" term they can give it without saying we are freaks.

Then obviously, by "checked," that did not include any medical texts. If we're going to talk about clinical terms, transsexuality is actually called transsexualism under the ICD (international classification system of medical disorders). "Transsexuality," per the ICD- is a biological medical condition, that can/will include psychological duress. This is the classification system used by virtually the entire international community; the UN, the WHO, etc. If you don't believe me the actual classification number per the ICD-10 is F64.0 entitled "transsexualism." Per the ICD, the psychological duress is the SIDE EFFECT (a symptom) of being trans, NOT THE CONDITION itself!!!

In the American psychological field (APA stuff, i.e. the DSM), they use the term Gender Identity Disorder, when talking about psychological problems caused by being a transsexual. To put it in simple terms gender dysphoria is psychological duress relating to gender issues. If you don't have that psychological duress for whatever reason, then you are not gender dysphoric. HOWEVER, almost everyone who is trans has both the medical condition of transsexualism (per the ICD), and GID (per the APA's DSM). I have never met anyone who, even fully transitioned, was 100% free from at the least occasional psychological duress relating to trans issues... but medically speaking, its possible.

BTW if they remove GID from the DSM (they're writing the DSM5 as we speak and are considering removing it), transsexuality will still be listed by the ICD as a medical (not exclusively psychological) condition. What this means is, if they remove GID from the DSM then transsexuals will still have a medical problem, we just wouldn't be "crazy" or "mentally ill." At which point any duress caused by being trans (depression, self esteem issues, etc) will be listed as separate conditions (i.e. you'd be a "transsexual patient suffering from depression" instead of "a transsexual patient suffering from GID").

The plan/hope that some people have, is that GID will be removed from the DSM, and then transsexuality will be inputted into all the American diagnostic classification systems as a medical disorder without any psychological component- which would then allow people to force insurance companies to pay for hrt, srs etc.


1 out of every 5 children are born transgender - someone please back em up with the science group that made it possible to know.

As much as 20% of the population might be TG, but that includes TV's who wear women's clothing to jerk off. The percentage of people who are TS is notably smaller than that.



This was good work, Sarah. I must confess you see more contrast between the ICD and DSM-lV than I do, but this, from a UK Govt site (this site is archival but the policy remains the same,) I think casts light on what you are saying and what others including me have been saying elsewhere:

"Transsexualism is not transvestism or cross-dressing for sexual thrill, psychological comfort or compulsion.

It is not an orientation towards people of the same sex.

It is not related to paedophilia.

It has nothing to do with drag queens.

Transsexual people do not choose their gender identity. Transsexualism is an overpowering sense of different gender identity rather than any sexual orientation: transsexual people may be heterosexual, gay/lesbian or celibate.

It is not a mental illness. It is a condition considered in itself to be free of other pathology (though transsexual people can suffer depression or illnesses like anyone else)."

(my bold)

Source: http://www.dca.gov.uk/constitution/transsex/policy.htm

Although expressed as a series of negatives, I think that is a useful set of parameters, and is certainly the basis on which the UK medical profession regard this issue. It is noteworthy how diametrically this policy is opposed to the theories propounded by the likes of Blanchard et alia, and also how firmly it distinguishes between transvestism and transsexualism, a boundary that is frequently blurred.

As for numbers, the highest I've seen suggested 4% of the (nominally) male population was CD/TV, from a fairly recent Swedish study. I have never seen a study that came up with 20%, so if you have a ref for that I'd very much appreciate it. I guess if you were lumping all LGBT of all possible persuasions in, 20% might be possible.

For transsexuals, the old estimates of 1:30,000 popular amongst the psychiatric community have been totally blown out of the water by Lynn Conway's work. She calculates in incidence of Post Ops in the US of 1:2500 population and suggests, obviously a much higher rate (but still nothing like 4%) if all pre-ops etc are counted. A similar estimate was done in the UK and came up with a figure of 1:3750 for post-ops. Anyway the point is that there are, as you say, far, far fewer TS than other forms of transgenderism (though not nearly as few as was once thought.)

[Marilyn]

Focus on ur date...not who's around you...a confident woman makes things easier as well, regardless on how passable she is!
And most people stare simply cuz twomen tend to have a more exotic look than bio women.

[SarahG]

As for numbers, the highest I've seen suggested 4% of the (nominally) male population was CD/TV, from a fairly recent Swedish study. I have never seen a study that came up with 20%, so if you have a ref for that I'd very much appreciate it. I guess if you were lumping all LGBT of all possible persuasions in, 20% might be possible.

For transsexuals, the old estimates of 1:30,000 popular amongst the psychiatric community have been totally blown out of the water by Lynn Conway's work. She calculates in incidence of Post Ops in the US of 1:2500 population and suggests, obviously a much higher rate (but still nothing like 4%) if all pre-ops etc are counted. A similar estimate was done in the UK and came up with a figure of 1:3750 for post-ops. Anyway the point is that there are, as you say, far, far fewer TS than other forms of transgenderism (though not nearly as few as was once thought.)

I don't think I've ever seen what I would consider an accurate study trying to determine how many TV's there are. So many tv's are in the closet- and have the ability (to a point) to stay there.

I.e. a ts person knows there are certain people who, if you stay in contact with them, will know you're TS. Unless your mom has dementia or Alzheimers, she knows what genitalia you were born with. There's no way getting around that, if you stay on speaking terms with your family.

Similarly TS people need/want (depending how you look at it, I say need, some people say want) medical treatments like HRT, SRS etc- there's a paper trail there. It would be logistically fairly easy to say, have surgeons tell you how many people they gave SRS to in the last year (and then its a simple matter of finding out how many TS people get SRS). But since TV's don't have to be out, and don't have to have all these medical treatments- how does one even try to calculate how many TVs there are?

I've seen so many vastly different statistics on TVs that I think I can safely conclude that no one has a clue how common transvestism is. I've seen (people claiming) numbers ranging from 5% to over 50% of the male population (and I've never, ever- seen anyone give any numbers at all for FtM tv's- and yes, they exist).

So is 20% a fair number to claim for the TG community? I really have no idea, but assuming Danielle is correct, that still means that the people who are TS as a population is fairly small.

I've seen some places claim only 1% of TS people get SRS, if that's true that takes Conway's statistics on postops to mean there are what, a mere 4% of the global population that's TS (math isn't my strong suit so someone help me out here)?

To put that 1:2500 into perspective, something in the neighborhood of 1 in 150 children being born right now, are autistic. I shouldn't have to do the math to show how many more people that is.

[ed_jaxon]

The one time I was embarrassed to be in public with a t girl.

She whipped my ass in pool.

Me: Fuck I just lost to a girl.

Her: But I used to be a guy.

Me : Don't matter....you a girl now.

I had a real pissed off look for about 15 minutes.

Then I whipped her ass back and it was ok.

Yeah I be competitive.

[dc_guy_75]

I'd be embarrassed if I lost to a girl in pool too...

[tstv_lover]

u are always going to have this happen...is goes with the territory...it does not always even come down to being passable..some times the girl just stands out...few months back i went with this girl for breakfast...damn near half the restaurant was staring at us ...as long as the people don't get confrontational it really does not bother me..

Best reply I've seen. Unless you're going to shout "Oh my God, you're a what?" and run off when someone clocks her, then focus on her and let the world go by.

I've had a couple of awesome TS girlfriends that were certainly not passable, but remember that guys are looking at HER - not you, and they probably want to be in your place.

Like I say, enjoy her company and ignore the starers.