"Confucius say..."

[Snoriega27]

If anyone knows any "Confucius say..." jokes, post them here - whether it's original, or you heard/read it elsewhere.

I'll get the ball rolling with one of my all-time favorites:

"Confucius say man with hole in pants pocket feel cocky all day." :lol:

Next?

[Jericho]

Confucius say, Man who walk through airport door sideways going to Bangkok.

[fred41]

This is corny .but it's the only one I remember:

Confucius say-"He who farts in church..sits in his own pew."

[JamesHunt]

Confucius say...

Man standing on toilet is high on pot.

[Snoriega27]

Since we all seem to grasp the nature of this thread, I move we omit the "Confucius say..." part of the quotation and merely post the remainder.

Any objections?

None!

Motion carried.

That being said...

"Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time."

[hard4janira]

man who run in front of car get tired, but man who run behind car get exhausted.

[Snoriega27]

These contributions are great!

Keep 'em comin' guys/gals.

Takin' a wee break to watch Letterman.

[snowballboi]

Man who jack off into cash register come into money.

[Faldur]

Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake up with stinky finger!

[Jack59]

Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

[The Piper]

Man who put cock in biscuit tin(cookie jar),must be fucking crackers.

[Snoriega27]

Panties not best thing on earth, but next to it.

[envivision]

The best cure for a hangover is something one straight man can't do for another straight man

[hippifried]

Man with head up ass have shitty outlook on life.

[envivision]

Me chinese, me made joke.
Me put poopoo in your dry wall !.

Seriuosly now, what's the deal with my dry walls.? They smell funny.

[hard4janira]

It is good for girl to meet boy in park, but better for boy to park meat in girl.

Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house

[marcelloNYC]

Dumb man climb tree to get cherry, wise man spread limbs.

[praetor]

"Who eats everything not die of hunger"


>Here in Brazil, eat (verb) also has the connotation of fuck<

[Snoriega27]

Don't sweat the petty stuff ... and don't pet the sweaty stuff.

[doctranny07]

Confusius say " Don't fuck on table, you get ass in jam"

[Jack59]

Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.

[baileyandkc]

Confucius say President who bail out auto industry get taken for a ride!

[goliath_91710]

...it takes many screws to make a crib, but only one to fill it!

[dickdasterly]

It is better to keep ones mouth shut and have people believe you are dumb than to open ones mouth and remove all doubt!!!