What if your married/attached but into ts?

[edwardsjimfresno]

So for any married or men in a heterosexual relationship like myself. What do you do? I know for me it gets hard because I do like dick and my girl does not have one. Is it cheating?

Would you consider it cheating if your partner wanted to mess around with a woman becuase she also likes vagina?

[Nowhere]

Cheating is being in a committed relationship and being with someone else at the same time. It doesn't matter who with. What's so hard to understand?

[Odelay]

Dan Savage who has penned the sex advice column "Savage Love" for something close to 20 years now, advises to be open with your hetero partner. Explain your curiosity, your fantasies, etc., and see where it goes. He also advises the partner to be open to allowing the TS admirer to have such an experience, and to lay down rules by which that might happen.

We live in the year 2009. Living in the closet was fashionable like 40 years ago.

[sunairco]

Dan Savage who has penned the sex advice column "Savage Love" for something close to 20 years now, advises to be open with your hetero partner. Explain your curiosity, your fantasies, etc., and see where it goes. He also advises the partner to be open to allowing the TS admirer to have such an experience, and to lay down rules by which that might happen.

We live in the year 2009. Living in the closet was fashionable like 40 years ago.

Dan Savage is also Gay and not in a heterosexual relationship with a GG. You're not going to find many straight females that don't consider a commited relationship mutually exclusive.

[sucka4chix]

Sadly, most guys who see TS escorts ARE married.
Contrary to some new wave opinions, honesty IS NOT always the best policy! Telling a wife or significant girlfriend that you are attracted to chicks with dicks is rather selfish and self serving. What's the point? Certainly not to make HER feel better. More than likely to give you license to act on your fantasy. Girls are fragile, and many who find their man likes dick question their own self-worth. A loving person wouldn't put someone through that.

[Odelay]

Dan Savage who has penned the sex advice column "Savage Love" for something close to 20 years now, advises to be open with your hetero partner. Explain your curiosity, your fantasies, etc., and see where it goes. He also advises the partner to be open to allowing the TS admirer to have such an experience, and to lay down rules by which that might happen.

We live in the year 2009. Living in the closet was fashionable like 40 years ago.

Dan Savage is also Gay and not in a heterosexual relationship with a GG. You're not going to find many straight females that don't consider a commited relationship mutually exclusive.

LOL! When I first started reading Savage 20 years ago and I saw heteros write into him I thought... "You're crazy! He's gay! Why are you asking for his advice?!"

Then after reading him for a couple of years I realized he gives better hetero advice than any other person I know. Anyone who is stuck on... "Savage is gay" is only missing out.

Anyway, you totally missed the point. Savage is saying... before you cheat, talk with your partner. Even assuming you're correct that there are few het partners who wouldn't consider a relationship to be mutually exclusive, not talking to her is the one surefire way of never knowing if you hit the jackpot and have one of those who are an exception.

[Odelay]

Sadly, most guys who see TS escorts ARE married.
Contrary to some new wave opinions, honesty IS NOT always the best policy! Telling a wife or significant girlfriend that you are attracted to chicks with dicks is rather selfish and self serving. What's the point? Certainly not to make HER feel better. More than likely to give you license to act on your fantasy. Girls are fragile, and many who find their man likes dick question their own self-worth. A loving person wouldn't put someone through that.

LMAO. A loving person wouldn't even consider cheating on her.

Let's put this one to bed... we're not talking about "loving people" here. We're talking about selfish married guys who are tired of their old lady.

[sucka4chix]

Ok, entertaining thoughts of infidelity have nothing to do with love or lack of it. It has to do with carnal urges and being able to control them. No one except you was assuming these people don't love their partners. The OP, as I recall, simply asked "what do you do".
To suggest you tell a GG your fantasy which they can't fulfill, is irresponsible. If you don't give a fuck, sure, tell them. But if you want to keep what you have, that's ludicrous!

[Cathy]

I have a similar situation. I am married and love my wife. If I were to start my life over, I would want to spend it with a T-Girl as I love women with a cock. However, my wife is understanding and if I go out of town, she understands and has no objection to me being with someone else. She knows I love her and also knows this type of encounter is infrequent.

So with that having been said. I am a good husband but absolutely love T-Girls and have had some incredible times with them.

[LilWyte]

wow you guys are dumbasses

[SarahG]

It's not cheating if she knows & is ok with it.

I've been with married guys before whose wives were completely in the know & ok with it.

[sugdaddie69]

Get a Divorce

[sugdaddie69]

Or a strap-on

[steviedresses]

If you have any morals at all... and value your marriage. You keep your mouth shut, keep your dick in you pants, and fuck your wife.

Then you go to hungangels and wish you had never gotten married in the first place. But you did and now you have 2 kids, a mortgage, student loans, and a beautiful wife who if she found out you were into tgirls would dump your dumb ass.

So we keep our mouths shut, our dicks in our pants, and just wish we could be with or be a tgirl.

And then cum to hungangels when the wife is out and leer at the beautiful tgirls...

[arnie666]

So for any married or men in a heterosexual relationship like myself. What do you do? I know for me it gets hard because I do like dick and my girl does not have one. Is it cheating?

Would you consider it cheating if your partner wanted to mess around with a woman becuase she also likes vagina?

Not married but have a partner. I see ts escorts and also I am shagging a gg dominatrix now that I met in a fetish club,she don't know about either. There is absolutely no way she likes girls but if in theory I catch her I would consider it cheating although I probably would not turn her partners head inside out unless I mistook a very manly dyke for a man. I would also probably dump her.It's not double standards because If she dumped me I could not cry about it could I when I can't control my willy? Plus we are not married so she can't take any of my shit !

[BigBeezy]

So for any married or men in a heterosexual relationship like myself. What do you do? I know for me it gets hard because I do like dick and my girl does not have one. Is it cheating?

Would you consider it cheating if your partner wanted to mess around with a woman becuase she also likes vagina?

Not married but have a partner. I see ts escorts and also I am shagging a gg dominatrix now that I met in a fetish club,she don't know about either. There is absolutely no way she likes girls but if in theory I catch her I would consider it cheating although I probably would not turn her partners head inside out unless I mistook a very manly dyke for a man. I would also probably dump her.It's not double standards because If she dumped me I could not cry about it could I when I can't control my willy? Plus we are not married so she can't take any of my shit !


o rly

[justatransgirl]

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[justatransgirl]

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[yodajazz]

I have a similar situation. I am married and love my wife. If I were to start my life over, I would want to spend it with a T-Girl as I love women with a cock. However, my wife is understanding and if I go out of town, she understands and has no objection to me being with someone else. She knows I love her and also knows this type of encounter is infrequent.

So with that having been said. I am a good husband but absolutely love T-Girls and have had some incredible times with them.

One way to do it is to tell your s.o. what turns you on. It does not mean that you have to act on it. Sharing your turn ons with her can increase the intimate times together. For example she may think that it is ok to watch ts movies as turn on. So while there is the risk that she might turn away after hearing about your turn-ons, it is just as likely that she will appreciate that you are open and honest with her. And in fact if she strongly objects, then you can make an agreement that you will not pursue it in any way, if you can. But like the previous poster said, there is a possibility that she may be ok with some things. Then you can enjoy things without as much guilt about cheating.

I also want to address the label of selfishness. That can be viewed from many ways. Who knows what that man may have given up, or provides to maintain a monogamous relationship? A long time ago they used to say raising a child was at least $200,000. The women in these relationship are getting houses and cars, if the man can afford them. After a while a mature woman will realize that it is ok to give her man some liberties, if it will make him happy and maintain him as a productive provider. Yes there are many men who cheat, but there are others who are providing good lives to their s.o. and ‘deserve’ some extra pleasure occasionally. You don’t know who’s who, so the bottom line goes back to the Bible wisdom that says don’t judge by appearances. That’s because you never know what a person has gone through. It’s far better that a man blow of some steam with an escort, than be like the man in my city last week, who murdered his wife, her sister and four of her children, four days after their wedding. Then he took his own life. Now that’s selfishness.

[callahac]

You should tell her your interests. Better to hear it straight from you than to accidently find out by finding a website you visited and then listening to your long list of denials. Honesty is the best policy and you owe it to her to be open about your desires. It doesn't make you a bad person, and you are still the person she married, but you have discovered a part about yourself. What happens from there is up to you and your wife, everyone is different.

[baileyandkc]

Marriage is cheaper than escorts! :shrug

[jjhill]

Nothing wrong with it, its just like being attracted to any other girl. As a few people know on the thread, i been liking ts since i was 13. I met my gg gf at 18 and been with her since. So I was liking ts b4 i knew her. So I wouldn't consider it cheating at all

[SXFX]

You have cash? Live near a big city?
OK go out have fun, see what's up before you fuck up shit at home.
If it's your cup of joe then great! Tell the old lady to take her tank ass, fat gut and saggy titties and half of your pay and go pound salt.
If its not your thing.....well then you are stuck with Ms. Stubby Legs Mc Tank Ass and life goes on.

[igotmacedbymimi:(]

Lol.

Its the escorts and prostitutes for you sir!

You are a classic statistic. Whether it is guys into ts or guys just wanting another girl for sex (most common scenario) most married guys will breifly dissapear (for drinks with the boys after work) and then come back that night after going to a prostitute. Most will be with regular female prostitutes, but the married ts admirer will do it with the ts prostitute.

Although you are still cheating and that is totally unacceptable, the best way for you to cheat is simply to hire an escort and offload your cum (or get her to offload her cum on you, if thats what your fantasy is.)

You might want to start checking girls on the forum :wink:

[igotmacedbymimi:(]

Nothing wrong with it, its just like being attracted to any other girl. As a few people know on the thread, i been liking ts since i was 13. I met my gg gf at 18 and been with her since. So I was liking ts b4 i knew her. So I wouldn't consider it cheating at all

What?

You fuck other girls (ts or not is irrelevant) behind your girlfriends back and this 'isnt cheating'?

Yet another deluded post on this board.

Listen guys, its ok to be gay. Liking ts is gay, if you like cock you are gay (or bisexual if you like vagina as well).

Also, if you sleep with another person (male, female, ts, whatever) behind your partners back then it is cheating.

[Legallylarge]

Marriage is cheaper than escorts! :shrug

Only if the marriage lasts. If it doens't, escorts are chump change compared to the financial rape you'll get from her lawyer.

Ask me how I know? :cry:

[Blazr63]

Love and sex are 2 very different things. If I fuck a TS escort that doesn't mean I love my wife any less. Also, people are not naturally monogamous, so why have guilt. It's my body and money. Life is way too short to not experience all that it offers.

[Nowhere]

Love and sex are 2 very different things. If I fuck a TS escort that doesn't mean I love my wife any less. Also, people are not naturally monogamous, so why have guilt. It's my body and money. Life is way too short to not experience all that it offers.

Well, except that the terms of marriage ARE monogamy.

If you have an agreed 'open' marriage, that's one thing, but I doubt that's what you've done.

Rationalize it all you want. It's morally and ethically wrong.

To be blunt, if you were to do the 100% true thing, you'd divorce your wife and marry a tgirl, but we all know you're just going to stay with her, violate your marriage, and maybe even pass along a disease to her (since you love her so much, right?)

Have fun! :x

[lahabra1976]

So for any married or men in a heterosexual relationship like myself. What do you do? I know for me it gets hard because I do like dick and my girl does not have one. Is it cheating?

Would you consider it cheating if your partner wanted to mess around with a woman becuase she also likes vagina?


So for any married or men in a heterosexual relationship like myself. What do you do? I know for me it gets hard because I do like dick and my girl does not have one. Is it cheating?

Would you consider it cheating if your partner wanted to mess around with a woman becuase she also likes vagina?

Truthfully, a married man who struggles cause of his like for tgirls, how is that much different than a heterosexual married man who wants to cheat on his wife with another woman. So you may think will you wife doesn't have a dick so its different. But not really, the heterosexual man may want to cheat cause another woman has bigger breast, more sexually playful, better looking...Point is married men want to cheat cause something that another woman, tgirl, or even another man in some cases can offer him that his wife can't. And to some extent, all married men struggle with this rather gay or not.

So weather you cheat on her or not, its just based on what you believe you should do. Some men struggle with these problems, but they don't cheat, but some do. My guess is, but of course you know you wife better than any of us, you can tell her and sometimes she maybe open for you to have tgirl escorts on the side, although this would be a rarity I think. In that case it ain't cheating cause she knows and approves. Of course, women are hard to understand, sometimes they approve, but not really.

[SarahG]

Marriage is cheaper than escorts! :shrug

I highly disagree with this assessment.

[SarahG]

Love and sex are 2 very different things. If I fuck a TS escort that doesn't mean I love my wife any less. Also, people are not naturally monogamous, so why have guilt. It's my body and money. Life is way too short to not experience all that it offers.

Well, except that the terms of marriage ARE monogamy.

If you have an agreed 'open' marriage, that's one thing, but I doubt that's what you've done.

Exactly, if he agreed to a closed monogamous marriage with a GG, then he agreed NOT to go around cheating on her (with anyone, GG's, GB's, tgirls, family dog, etc). If that's such a problem, then he shouldn't have agreed to the terms in the first place.

But I know a few married couples who are open now, but did not even consider being open at the time when they got married. It happens.

[lahabra1976]

Marriage is cheaper than escorts! :shrug

I highly disagree with this assessment.

I have to second that lol...

Before marriage, the single man sees his savings account go up.
After marriage, the same man no longer see his account go up even if he makes triple the amount as before
Even worse, after kids, his savings account actually goes negative :(

And if your chic is high maintence, even more so :( :( And with an escort if its costing too much, no problem just stop or look for someone cheap. For the married fellow, will...

[bte]

If you have any morals at all... and value your marriage. You keep your mouth shut, keep your dick in you pants, and fuck your wife.

Then you go to hungangels and wish you had never gotten married in the first place. But you did and now you have 2 kids, a mortgage, student loans, and a beautiful wife who if she found out you were into tgirls would dump your dumb ass.

So we keep our mouths shut, our dicks in our pants, and just wish we could be with or be a tgirl.

And then cum to hungangels when the wife is out and leer at the beautiful tgirls...

Not saying anyone on hungangels do this, but I imagine there are some people that do this. I know a lot of guys who are married and into t-girls that do the same thing that steviedresses says.

[tsntx]

Cheating is being in a committed relationship and being with someone else at the same time. It doesn't matter who with. What's so hard to understand?

im so happy to see the simplest form of an honest answer as the FIRST responce for a change


its not fucking rocket science

you have a S/O and you have relations w/ another person is CHEATING

:roll:

[jjhill]

Nothing wrong with it, its just like being attracted to any other girl. As a few people know on the thread, i been liking ts since i was 13. I met my gg gf at 18 and been with her since. So I was liking ts b4 i knew her. So I wouldn't consider it cheating at all

What?

You fuck other girls (ts or not is irrelevant) behind your girlfriends back and this 'isnt cheating'?

Yet another deluded post on this board.

Listen guys, its ok to be gay. Liking ts is gay, if you like cock you are gay (or bisexual if you like vagina as well).

Also, if you sleep with another person (male, female, ts, whatever) behind your partners back then it is cheating.

no i dont fuck other girls, where did i say that?

[Shining Star]

This is so tired.

If marriage automatically equalled fidelity, lots of prostitutes, mistresses, escorts, or whatever would have been out of business centuries ago.

Yes, in some cultures marriage does not equal fidelity. Even today in many Latin based cultures a "propia mujer" must put up with and condone her husband's "affairs".

As for cheating on one's wife with a trannie, again, oh please. I have had former boyfriends ring me up and ask to "come over" the same week if not day they got back from their honeymoon.

[phobun]

you have a S/O and you have relations w/ another person is CHEATING
Many women would consider even an emotional affair with no sex, such as having a crush on a particular girl and flirting on the internet, as cheating.

[phobun]

You should tell her your interests. Better to hear it straight from you than to accidently find out by finding a website you visited and then listening to your long list of denials. Honesty is the best policy and you owe it to her to be open about your desires. It doesn't make you a bad person, and you are still the person she married, but you have discovered a part about yourself. What happens from there is up to you and your wife, everyone is different.
I think your wife is more understanding than most probably are. Doubt most guys would probably be so lucky.

[phobun]

Sadly, most guys who see TS escorts ARE married.
Contrary to some new wave opinions, honesty IS NOT always the best policy! Telling a wife or significant girlfriend that you are attracted to chicks with dicks is rather selfish and self serving. What's the point? Certainly not to make HER feel better. More than likely to give you license to act on your fantasy. Girls are fragile, and many who find their man likes dick question their own self-worth. A loving person wouldn't put someone through that.
I pretty much agree.

[baileyandkc]

Marriage is still cheaper than escorts, but I will qualify that to say that's my own personal experience, to exclude lawyers/divorce, kids and partners who have tastes that are overly extravagant!

[brickcitybrother]

Cheating is being in a committed relationship and being with someone else at the same time. It doesn't matter who with. What's so hard to understand?

Hard to argue with simple logic.

[DL_NL]

True. It's cheating, whomever you do it with.

[MrF]

Everyone seems to take it as obvious that cheating is "morally and ethically wrong". But why ? And don't just quote the Bible or other religious text.

I think a lot of our religious-based rules evolve naturally within our culture and are favored because they are connected with our survivability, yet are simple enough for anyone to understand. For example, 1000 years ago we could not combat diseases very well, nor did we really understand them, so a simple rule like "God said, thou shalt not fornicate" was useful, even if the God-fearing public didn't understand why. One doesn't need to know why.

Prostitution is probably better morally than taking a lover -- at least then your loyalties are not divided, since you won't fall in love with a prostitute. As for lying, we do that all the time in relationships. Sometimes it's for the best.

As I see it, there are two moral issues with prostitution: 1) It costs money and this can rob resources from the family. The problem here is similar to gambling. And 2) Bringing a risk of disease to your spouse. There are ways to ameleorate these risks, but I've written enough on this topic for now.

[SarahG]

Everyone seems to take it as obvious that cheating is "morally and ethically wrong". But why ?

If you're in a LTR with someone you (claim) to love and care about, and then promised that person that it's a closed relationship for the long haul (aka wedding vows), then cheating is wrong because its breaking a promise that you made to someone you care about.

It doesn't get much simpler than that. If being in a closed relationship "to death" is such a big deal, such a problem- then don't lie & make that promise to the girl in the first place.

[jaycanuck]

Everyone seems to take it as obvious that cheating is "morally and ethically wrong". But why ?

Hate to sound cliché, but my Dad always told me ( after being crossed that I lied as a kid to him ) that the most important thing is telling the truth....or trust. I never knew why that meant so much to him back then until I found out that it was adultery that ended my parents marriage...and let's just say that it was 2 people close to him that stabbed him in the back.

To this day I live by what he taught me. It has nothing to do with religion because I know first hand that lack of trust is the worst thing in any relationship.

[MrF]

I can see that promising to be faithful is contained in most wedding vows, and that it is usually bad to break a promise or lie, but what is being faithful ? And is it ALWAYS bad to break a promise or lie ?

I can cite some examples where breaking a promise or lying can be beneficial, but I won't do it now since it would require a long explanation of the extenuating circumstances. Just to point out that sometimes it can help a relationship rather than destroy it. It isn't something I can recommend as a general practice, though.

[bob69]

TS/GG/or man sex is sex and it is cheating unless you have an open arrangement with your significant other. You can rationalize it in as many ways as you want..it is still cheating.

The reason marriage has a clear "no cheating" aspect in is it is that you DO expect that from your wife don't you? what would make it ok for you to break it and her no to? You can honestly tell me that you are ok with HER sleeping with other guys? no? Then its also not ok for you to sleep with others. Simpel enough?

There are plenty of people who do cheat, still doesn't make it ok..unless your wife is ok with the idea of you having sex with others. I really fail to see how this is complicated.

[TsVanessa69]

Then you are a trick, and you should pay the girl. Plain and simple

[SarahG]

I can see that promising to be faithful is contained in most wedding vows, and that it is usually bad to break a promise or lie, but what is being faithful ? And is it ALWAYS bad to break a promise or lie ?

I can cite some examples where breaking a promise or lying can be beneficial, but I won't do it now since it would require a long explanation of the extenuating circumstances. Just to point out that sometimes it can help a relationship rather than destroy it. It isn't something I can recommend as a general practice, though.

Then the entire relationship is built off of a farce.

This isn't a "well, I don't want to offend her when she asks me if those capris make her look fat" issue.

Just be honest from day one and don't LIE to a girl you claim to love & care about, just to get her to marry you. Going and saying "sure, we'll be a closed relationship to death" when you know isn't true on your part, is just an exploitation of her feelings.

Not only that, but it will directly harm her if it means subjecting her to an expensive divorce that could have been avoided if you had been honest & up front about your need to be in an open relationship in the first place.

[MrF]

Thanks for the replies. Yes, it's clear that cheating is a deal-breaker in most relationships in the US culture.