Independent Woman?

[AllanahStarrNYC]

I chatted with this guy last night who was trying to invite me to "lunch".
Though I was not really interested, I was polite and declined.

He then proceeded to ask me-"Don't you want all your bills to be payed?"...

and I said- "I pay my own bills, thank you"......

and he said- 'I don't know any girl who can pay all of her own bills"...

I concluded with- "Well, I CAN."

So I ask myself, was that possibly one of the worst pick up lines ever, or do a lot of men have this perception that most women want to be taken care of, or rescued?

I actually found what he said quite offensive, and though it's noy easy to be an idepedent woman, I would not reeally have it any other way.

I have been wanting to post this ACTUAL article published in Good Housekeeping Magazine in the 50's, and kept on forgetting, but with this topis it is perfect-AND really crazy.

[Jack59]

Life was different in the fifties. And this article is British btw. You can tell be the "u" the writer puts in favourite.

That being said I think it's 95% bullshit, just like magazine articles today are, just from that 1950s "Man is King in his Castle" school of stupidity.

[Quinn]

it's noy easy to be an idepedent woman, I would not reeally have it any other way.


The article is obviously outdated in its thinking. My wife is about as independent as they come. In addition to working as a partner at our investment company, she also works as senior partner at a global media corporation and has never needed anyone to rescue her. I wouldn't have her any other way.

That said, I do have a question – one that is not intended to be disrespectful, but rather represents genuine curiosity. If you work as an adult entertainer/escort/etc., you may not depend on a single man, but are you not dependent on men as a whole to a degree that few women are?

-Quinn

[flabbybody]

hi Allanah
I won't condone what this guy said to you and you have every right to be offended. He dissed you and he's a total loser. When guys start getting older the self-confidence level begins to drift towards empty, especially in pickup situations with young attractive females. They start viewing money as the only leverage they have, and when dealing with rejection, they throw that out to save face.

Fact is, you could be better off financially than he is, so who's got the last laugh?

[Scott098]

I would NEVER want a woman who thinks that it is a good idea to have all of her bills paid for her by someone else. I have two reasons for this.

First, I am a person that has always been attracted to strong people who want to stand on thier own. I am turned off by the materialistic pay for play culture that the United States seems SO fond of lately.

Secondly, while I LOVE my career it does not pay well! I have a hard time paying my own bills let alone anyone elses! LOL I am a profession a graduate (magna cum laude) of a major US university, but I work in the arts... the Us does not believe that my career is at all important. I am willing to accept that because I LOVE what I do. But I can't (and don't want to) pay for anyone else because of some misguided veiw that "men should pay." This attitude is as outdated as the very silly article that Allana posted early in this thread!

Scott

[hondarobot]

Wow, and that article was pretty common thinking just a couple generations ago. Crazy. It's kinda funny to read in a scary sorta way.

It's along the lines of the Doug Stanhope joke, where he tells his wife he wants to tittie fuck her. She asks "But how would that be good for me?", and he replies "Just before I cum, I'll stop punching ya in the face."

Terrible. But ya can't help but laugh. Well, I laughed. . .

Note: I in no way advocate face punching. Tittie fucking, on the other hand, is a very positive thing.

[AllanahStarrNYC]

ok i think some of you are mistaking that the article is a modern way of thinking-though, i am sure somewhere, somewhow someone still thinks like that-the article today reads to me like a parody of the times.

i used it becuase i thought it was humorous- had nothing to do with what happened last night.

and quinn-

let me clear one thing up for you.just becuase the clientele i service for films, websites, escort, etc maybe mostly male- the clients that come to my party are men, women, and ts. you are mixong things that have no relevance with each other.

i pay my own bills, i run my own website, i run the parties, i promote my career, and i do many other things such as also write, creative direct, etc. everything i do/have done because it has been my initiave and good timing and circumstances. i have not depended on a woman, man, parent, boyfried, nor anyone after i left home at 17 and have made my life on my own.

the sex business is like any other business-with the exception that the sex business is probably the only proffession that women generally make more money than men and can be successful entrepreneurs.

[tracy]

that's why you're a star with 2 R's
strong and independent women to me is such a turn on
LOVE YOU ALLANAH


Ladies tell the truth you know I'm cute
but what really turns you on is the rims on my coupe

[JohnnyWalkerBlackLabel]

there are quite a few [ladies] that hit up certain men in the parties to act as a [sugardaddy] for them; while it was wrong for the simp to approach Allanah like that there are a few girls that would have grabbed his hand and left through the striped doors asap...............

[chefmike]

there are quite a few [ladies] that hit up certain men in the parties to act as a [sugardaddy] for them; while it was wrong for the simp to approach Allanah like that there are a few girls that would have grabbed his hand and left through the striped doors asap...............JWBL keepin it real...as always

[WendyWilliams]

Oh just because "some" girls do it , that makes it allright.

Do you ever have anything positive to say about the girls at all?

Gheesh

[JohnnyWalkerBlackLabel]

Oh just because "some" girls do it , that makes it allright.

Do you ever have anything positive to say about the girls at all?

Gheesh

Actually I do, nice beak.................................

seriously, I'm just telling the truth, obviously it can't be handled by some, but it is THE TRUTH

[ladies] make your money however you can, I'm not knocking you, but be honest and admit that there is some golddigging/sugerdaddy-ing going on

[Ecstatic]

Allanah, first I can't believe that clown said that to you! And second, I love that old article for its satirical humor today; I first read it many years ago and it's great to see it again.

[geekmeat]

I think if your complaining about a guy saying he can pay your bills for you then your living a very charmed life.
I wouldnt get upset about it if I were you.
You gotta understand that back in the day(1950's) some women HAD to date just to eat.
Things have changed but a lot of people havent changed with the times.

[LAtoNY]

Ahhh, the good old days!!

I would settle for the one that says, "have a cold drink ready for him when he gets home!" Jim Beam/rocks in a biggggg glass w/ free refills!

[AllanahStarrNYC]

i'm not offended- i'm just surprise someone would think like that.

the good ole' days?

yes sexism is always fun isn't. next time take out a dixie flag and whistle dixie for us-that should add to the good old days as well.

[Ecstatic]

That article was posted in a dom/sub group that is primarily about femininizing men. The list of archaic rules were meant to be an unattainable list of ideas a good sub would like to do for thier dom's.
True, but it didn't originate there. I've seen the same article (precisely the same, to the letter, layout, and graphic) in multiple places for more years than I can recall. I think I first saw it back in the 70s in Ms magazine, but I can't recall for sure.

[jamans]

don't compain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night

I love that line............ :P

[Vicki Richter]

So a guy who is willing to pay "all your bills" assumes a decent amount of money being offered. What is the difference between that and a guy calling an eros ad? It seems the guy doing the eros thing is saving a lot of money. I know so many GG's who just want a man so they can get pregnant and stop working. I know several who have done it. While there are now a strain of working professional women, I don't know many of them who would continue if they could become a kept woman.

That article you posted could just have easily said, "There was a time when families were more likely to stay together than divorce. There was a time when alcohol was a hard drug. There was a time when kids didn't shoot each other in the street. There was a time when parents let their kids go Trick or Treating by themselves." All this "progress" in taking mothers out of the house has done wonders for our society. I think I am very fortunate to come from a traditionalist household with a stay at home mom. All five of my brother and sisters and I graduated college (even though we had to pay for it ourselves). None of us did drugs even though we had friends that did. Yes I'm kind of a bad seed and I don't claim to have a perfect family, but I think our culture is missing a lot of the values instilled by a loving mother at home.

[lucx]

ok i think some of you are mistaking that the article is a modern way of thinking-though, i am sure somewhere, somewhow someone still thinks like that-the article today reads to me like a parody of the times.

i used it becuase i thought it was humorous- had nothing to do with what happened last night.

and quinn-

let me clear one thing up for you.just becuase the clientele i service for films, websites, escort, etc maybe mostly male- the clients that come to my party are men, women, and ts. you are mixong things that have no relevance with each other.

i pay my own bills, i run my own website, i run the parties, i promote my career, and i do many other things such as also write, creative direct, etc. everything i do/have done because it has been my initiave and good timing and circumstances. i have not depended on a woman, man, parent, boyfried, nor anyone after i left home at 17 and have made my life on my own.

the sex business is like any other business-with the exception that the sex business is probably the only proffession that women generally make more money than men and can be successful entrepreneurs.


Well... if someone wants to pay MY bills, i've got nothing against it... :D

BTW you are a bombshell , Alannah..

[AllanahStarrNYC]

Had a surgar daddy, been there- done that, did not work out for me. To be with a man just to have my bills payed or so that I did not have to work, seems like a ridiculous idea. If I was to be with a man for his money, then it would be someone with excessive, excessive amounts of money and someone that I could tolerate.

I know a lot of girls whose goal it is to meet a sugar daddy-call me stupid, but I would not want to be at the beckon call to someone just becuase I did not have to work-unless if Bill Gates, David Saperstein, or The Sultan Of Brunei call ;).

However- the ideal picture you painted form 1950's household was just that an idea picture. I remember when I was a kid and watched all the tv shows and wondered why my family was not like that. The truth is becuae even then, no one's was. Ozzy and Harriet, I love Lucy, etc were just really tv shows. The 50's, though one of my favortie times in fashion history, were really a time of suppression in the US. Try to find a black person who did not play a maid or butler in one of those tv shows. In fact, it was not until the 1960's when Diane carool had her tv show "Julia" that there was a black family portrayed on sit com tv land. People had problems as well in the 50s-teen age pregnancy, alcoholism, abuse, etc-just no one talked about it or it was not open like in today's society.

And that article is just plain misogynistic. It's funny to read becuase you if a woman's magazine published that today-it would be like calling for the return of slavery.

I think when a man says to you "I don't know ANY girls who can pay her own bills"- well he pretty much has an assumption about most women and how helpless they are. :evil:

I'm sorry, I'm just not looking to be rescued on a white horse-I want to be the one riding the horse ;).

[Quinn]

I know a lot of girls whose goal it is to meet a sugar daddy-call me stupid, but I would not want to be at the beckon call to someone just becuase I did not have to work-unless if Bill Gates, David Saperstein, or The Sultan Of Brunei call ;).


I remember seeing a news report back in the mid to late 90s where they addressed the Sultan of Brunei's appetite for Western -- and particularly American -- women. Apparently, he was paying American women (a number of whom they actually interviewed) something like 50K a week to be "entertainment" for him and his inner circle of friends. The women they interviewed said their services were retained for anywhere from one week to a month, then they were sent home. If memory serves, most of them didn't even work in the sex business, and all claimed to have been treated extremely well.

-Quinn

[Ecstatic]

I'm sorry, I'm just not looking to be rescued on a white horse-I want to be the one riding the horse ;).
You can rescue me, Allanah! :wink:

I was born in 1951, so I remember the 50s well. It both was and wasn't like it was portrayed in 50s sitcoms: they were a spin on reality, but they were based in the American nuclear family of 2.5 children with a working husband and homemaking wife. I agree that we've seen a serious erosion of family values from that time: in some ways, good, in other ways bad, and Vicki and Allanah, you have addressed both of those ends of the spectrum. But as to whether most women would give up work if a man were to provide for them in all the comfort and luxury they could desire: well, yeah, but then so would most guys given the chance. But a short while into such a relationship, you'd discover, I think, that you're missing a whole lot of self actualization, and would either change the dynamic or get out of it.

[hondarobot]

I think the ultimate answer to all this is: everyone has to pull their own weight, if it's at all possible. And if a guy finds a smart, pretty girl, then he should at least offer to take care of her, and see to it that he has the capacity to do so. Helen of Troy had a face that set sail a thousand ships. That worked out good for the shipping industry, if nothing else :)

Now excuse me, I need to continue work on a writing project I've got going on (so that I can sell that fucker and stop working a job I'm terminally bored with).

It's not cheap buying a white horse, ya know.

[flabbybody]

I love the one that says: his topic of conversation is more important than yours.
I have never met a woman that felt that way. ever

[Paste]

I've always told people the three qualities I'm looking for in a woman are independence, intelligence, and looks. Apparently this guy is content batting .333

[Vicki Richter]

My family was very Brady Bunch... Actually my mother was like June Cleaver and my dad was like Red on That 70's Show. In the 18 years I lived at home, I never once saw or heard my parents fight, argue, etc. It ruined me for normal relationships because I would always think an argument is the end of the relationship.

My mom would get up with my dad, make his breakfast and coffee, pack his lunch, and never let him leave without a goodbye kiss. She would then pack the kids lunches, get us up, drive us to private school... pick us up, and then we would all sit down as a family for a home made dinner... every night.

She was absolutely cut out of that mold and it was absolutely a blessing to have her there to keep us in line. However, I definitely lived in a "just wait until your father gets home" type of household.

[ARMANIXXX]

At the risk of getting flamed and angry emote faces,

I don't think women help themselves in the "standings" by demanding equality and then at the same time showing themselves in sexual "perversities".

How serious did you really think the world would treat these women?

[hondarobot]

Hehe, as I've posted elsewhere, my parents were pretty much "TV Land" also, in my case it was Red from That 70's show who got married to Lucy Ricardo. That was probably a pretty common mindset back in the 70's/ early 80's.

I do like Red's quote to his son: "Kid, the secret of life is you get married, then you spend the rest of your life doing crap you don't wan't to do", said as he drinks a beer, of course.

Ahhhh, damn. You gotta love that guy.

[AllanahStarrNYC]

???

What does equality have to do with sexual perversaties? What exactly is sexual perversaties? Because a woman has control of her body and her sex life and she chooses to be in the adult business or dress a certain way or sleep with a lot of men that makes her less valuable?

Wait excuse me- let me go get my veil or my burka...WTF???

So a man can sleep with a lot of women and he is a stud but a woman is a whore if she does the same? What kind of chauvinistic bullshit is that?

Darling, what I do for a living and who I am as a person are two different things. You can be in the sex business and be smart, articulate, and a well mannered person. Look at Jenna Jameson- she's managed to become the world's most famous adult actress and made a very successful brand of her name. She's one smart cookie that one.

[Vicki Richter]

It makes you wonder though. Just how bad of a job is being a sex slave?