mh37_br
01-30-2009, 01:58 AM
First time advice for gay anal sex
Anal sex is often seen as the definitive form of gay love-making. You might think, and be pressured to think, that if you’re not doing it, be you top, bottom or versatile, you must be some sort of second rate closet case. But is it for you? It can hurt (a lot) at first, comes as something of a shock to the system, and might well be termed an acquired taste. If you fancy it, here are a few tips on how to begin to acquire it.
Spend time on your own discovering your anus before having sex with others. Run a bath and get naked. Go to the toilet. Then put some lube on a finger, work it around the outer anus, stay there awhile, and start pushing it in.
The sensations you get might already be quite intense. If you’re unsettled, use your other hand to masturbate and reassure yourself with feelings with which you’re familiar. Allow yourself to enjoy the new feelings. Relax and feel free to fantasise. Explore and get a sense of the shape and texture inside you. Then, when you’re comfortable, try inserting a second finger. Be careful, but rest assured your anus can certainly cope with this.
When you withdraw you might feel you want to defecate again. This is normal. Probably nothing will happen. If anything does, don’t worry. It will clean up when you’re done and there’s no shame attached. It’s just a reflex reaction.
Be aware that, after the high, there is a downside. After using a dildo, just as after having sex, your anus might take time to close. You might need to spend time sitting on the toilet relaxing and calming down. Also, the mess you might make risks leading to feelings of shame and humiliation. Mentally, you might feel unfocused and ‘spaced’ for hours to follow.
And when you first have anal sex be prepared to make further discoveries. On the one hand, if you’re the bottom, you are showing that man something intimate about yourself. You are experiencing ecstatic sensations – and making those noises and faces again – with him watching you. And you have to want him to do that. On the other, you’ll be seeing someone else working his way towards orgasm differently from what you’ll have seen and shared when masturbating or giving and receiving head.
Be prepared for the feeling of passivity. If you resist being passive and wanting him to do it to you, perhaps thinking that makes you less of a man, then, no matter your preparation, you’ll be in for a bad time. But if you accept all the feelings involved in having anal sex, then it can be wonderful.
Anal sex is often seen as the definitive form of gay love-making. You might think, and be pressured to think, that if you’re not doing it, be you top, bottom or versatile, you must be some sort of second rate closet case. But is it for you? It can hurt (a lot) at first, comes as something of a shock to the system, and might well be termed an acquired taste. If you fancy it, here are a few tips on how to begin to acquire it.
Spend time on your own discovering your anus before having sex with others. Run a bath and get naked. Go to the toilet. Then put some lube on a finger, work it around the outer anus, stay there awhile, and start pushing it in.
The sensations you get might already be quite intense. If you’re unsettled, use your other hand to masturbate and reassure yourself with feelings with which you’re familiar. Allow yourself to enjoy the new feelings. Relax and feel free to fantasise. Explore and get a sense of the shape and texture inside you. Then, when you’re comfortable, try inserting a second finger. Be careful, but rest assured your anus can certainly cope with this.
When you withdraw you might feel you want to defecate again. This is normal. Probably nothing will happen. If anything does, don’t worry. It will clean up when you’re done and there’s no shame attached. It’s just a reflex reaction.
Be aware that, after the high, there is a downside. After using a dildo, just as after having sex, your anus might take time to close. You might need to spend time sitting on the toilet relaxing and calming down. Also, the mess you might make risks leading to feelings of shame and humiliation. Mentally, you might feel unfocused and ‘spaced’ for hours to follow.
And when you first have anal sex be prepared to make further discoveries. On the one hand, if you’re the bottom, you are showing that man something intimate about yourself. You are experiencing ecstatic sensations – and making those noises and faces again – with him watching you. And you have to want him to do that. On the other, you’ll be seeing someone else working his way towards orgasm differently from what you’ll have seen and shared when masturbating or giving and receiving head.
Be prepared for the feeling of passivity. If you resist being passive and wanting him to do it to you, perhaps thinking that makes you less of a man, then, no matter your preparation, you’ll be in for a bad time. But if you accept all the feelings involved in having anal sex, then it can be wonderful.