What's the big deal with a tgirl's boy name?

[flabbybody]

don't laugh at this but I never learn. just when I'm getting friendly with a girl and something might develop I ask her what her boy name was. I can't help myself even though I know it's a total mood killer.

why the f are girls so hung up with this? It's not like I'll ever use it or God forbid repeat it to any other person. I just need to know she trusts me enough to reveal something so intimate about her past.

[tsntx]

don't laugh at this but I never learn. just when I'm getting friendly with a girl and something might develop I ask her what her boy name was. I can't help myself even though I know it's a total mood killer.

why the f are girls so hung up with this? It's not like I'll ever use it or God forbid repeat it to any other person. I just need to know she trusts me enough to reveal something so intimate about her past.

more importantly


why the f are GUYS so hung up on this??

i mean yall say yall are straight
that were all woman to you
that you cant see us any other way then woman

etc etc


etc


soooooo why the "f" do you wanna try to see as anything but what we are today?

i dotn like to generally talk to a guy about my past... im ok w/ my past but that doesnt mean i want him to be worried about it

i just say... well lucky for you i did a documentary on my life... so go watch it

[Hara_Juku Tgirl]

It's pretty simple, Girls want nothing to do with their OLD self. So asking one what her old boy name was, is like telling a girl she isn't as convincing as a woman as she think she is. Add the fact that, anyone who knew a girls boy name will use that to their advantage out of spite. Besides, if you already got the lastname then their first name..how easy is it to research them? Their past etc. A lot of the girls are uncomfortable with that..

~Kisses.

HTG

[Norma]

It's pretty simple, Girls want nothing to do with their OLD self. So asking one what her old boy name was, is like telling a girl she isn't as convincing as a woman as she think she is. Add the fact that, anyone who knew a girls boy name will use that to their advantage out of spite. Besides, if you already got the lastname then their first name..how easy is it to research them? Their past etc. A lot of the girls are uncomfortable with that..

~Kisses.

HTG

I agree with Hara.

Just want to add one point. If the guy and girl are starting a LTR or good friendship, I think it is sort of important for a guy to know the girl's given birth name, in case, which can happen, they are stopped by a police officer who is not in a good mood. If the cop asks the guy what he's doing with the girl, and he answers that she's a gf or friend, and he can't back it up by knowing her given name, which is probably on her ID, then the cop might get kinda rowdy. Otherwise, some biased cops might think or assume that all girls are working girls, or actually know that they ARE escorts, they wont believe the guy. The cop might believe, if their stories don't add up, that they are trying to cover up an escort encounter.

But I don't blame girls for not revealing their given name, particularly to clients and non-friends.

[ed_jaxon]

I will wade into this sure fired shit storm.

Guys are curious about their girls past... always. We hate for a girl to have secrets from us because many of us are insecure.

Eventually we learn that we need to be cool don't ask too many questions and at least act like we have some sense, it works much better for us that way.

Flabby knows that. He has been around the block enough times

[Alyssa87]

i tell the boys i'll tell em what my name was- when we're married.

[RubyTS]

don't laugh at this but I never learn. just when I'm getting friendly with a girl and something might develop I ask her what her boy name was. I can't help myself even though I know it's a total mood killer.

why the f are girls so hung up with this? It's not like I'll ever use it or God forbid repeat it to any other person. I just need to know she trusts me enough to reveal something so intimate about her past.

instead of just giving u the ammunition to load the gun, she might as well just shoot herself

[Hara_Juku Tgirl]

It's pretty simple, Girls want nothing to do with their OLD self. So asking one what her old boy name was, is like telling a girl she isn't as convincing as a woman as she think she is. Add the fact that, anyone who knew a girls boy name will use that to their advantage out of spite. Besides, if you already got the lastname then their first name..how easy is it to research them? Their past etc. A lot of the girls are uncomfortable with that..

~Kisses.

HTG

I agree with Hara.

Just want to add one point. If the guy and girl are starting a LTR or good friendship, I think it is sort of important for a guy to know the girl's given birth name, in case, which can happen, they are stopped by a police officer who is not in a good mood. If the cop asks the guy what he's doing with the girl, and he answers that she's a gf or friend, and he can't back it up by knowing her given name, which is probably on her ID, then the cop might get kinda rowdy. Otherwise, some biased cops might think or assume that all girls are working girls, or actually know that they ARE escorts, they wont believe the guy. The cop might believe, if their stories don't add up, that they are trying to cover up an escort encounter.

But I don't blame girls for not revealing their given name, particularly to clients and non-friends.

I'd have to agree, IF it's something like an LTR type of relationship any girl should disclose this information (like wat you've said, this may play a critical part in such scenario you've described above). Otherwise, don't ask!! lol ;)

~Kisses.

HTG

[tsntx]

It's pretty simple, Girls want nothing to do with their OLD self. So asking one what her old boy name was, is like telling a girl she isn't as convincing as a woman as she think she is. Add the fact that, anyone who knew a girls boy name will use that to their advantage out of spite. Besides, if you already got the lastname then their first name..how easy is it to research them? Their past etc. A lot of the girls are uncomfortable with that..

~Kisses.

HTG

I agree with Hara.

Just want to add one point. If the guy and girl are starting a LTR or good friendship, I think it is sort of important for a guy to know the girl's given birth name, in case, which can happen, they are stopped by a police officer who is not in a good mood. If the cop asks the guy what he's doing with the girl, and he answers that she's a gf or friend, and he can't back it up by knowing her given name, which is probably on her ID, then the cop might get kinda rowdy. Otherwise, some biased cops might think or assume that all girls are working girls, or actually know that they ARE escorts, they wont believe the guy. The cop might believe, if their stories don't add up, that they are trying to cover up an escort encounter.

But I don't blame girls for not revealing their given name, particularly to clients and non-friends.


uh no idiot

girls have their names changed.... most do

[Norma]

It's pretty simple, Girls want nothing to do with their OLD self. So asking one what her old boy name was, is like telling a girl she isn't as convincing as a woman as she think she is. Add the fact that, anyone who knew a girls boy name will use that to their advantage out of spite. Besides, if you already got the lastname then their first name..how easy is it to research them? Their past etc. A lot of the girls are uncomfortable with that..

~Kisses.

HTG

I agree with Hara.

Just want to add one point. If the guy and girl are starting a LTR or good friendship, I think it is sort of important for a guy to know the girl's given birth name, in case, which can happen, they are stopped by a police officer who is not in a good mood. If the cop asks the guy what he's doing with the girl, and he answers that she's a gf or friend, and he can't back it up by knowing her given name, which is probably on her ID, then the cop might get kinda rowdy. Otherwise, some biased cops might think or assume that all girls are working girls, or actually know that they ARE escorts, they wont believe the guy. The cop might believe, if their stories don't add up, that they are trying to cover up an escort encounter.

But I don't blame girls for not revealing their given name, particularly to clients and non-friends.


uh no idiot

girls have their names changed.... most do

No , Jen, most don't.

[tsntx]

ppl not breaking the law shouldnt try to come up w/ ellaborate schemes to cover tracks they never made

be honest

its quick and it works

[RubyTS]

It's pretty simple, Girls want nothing to do with their OLD self. So asking one what her old boy name was, is like telling a girl she isn't as convincing as a woman as she think she is. Add the fact that, anyone who knew a girls boy name will use that to their advantage out of spite. Besides, if you already got the lastname then their first name..how easy is it to research them? Their past etc. A lot of the girls are uncomfortable with that..

~Kisses.

HTG

I agree with Hara.

Just want to add one point. If the guy and girl are starting a LTR or good friendship, I think it is sort of important for a guy to know the girl's given birth name, in case, which can happen, they are stopped by a police officer who is not in a good mood. If the cop asks the guy what he's doing with the girl, and he answers that she's a gf or friend, and he can't back it up by knowing her given name, which is probably on her ID, then the cop might get kinda rowdy. Otherwise, some biased cops might think or assume that all girls are working girls, or actually know that they ARE escorts, they wont believe the guy. The cop might believe, if their stories don't add up, that they are trying to cover up an escort encounter.

But I don't blame girls for not revealing their given name, particularly to clients and non-friends.


uh no idiot

girls have their names changed.... most do

No , Jen, most don't.

i dont think any of us know MOST girls to generate either assumption. But the majority of girls i DO know have had legal name change. If u ask me it sounds like ur reaching for a reason to learn something that really isn't at all important

[Alyssa87]

damn norma, u really thought this thru.lol

has this ever happened to you?

[flabbybody]

it's like when you were a kid and someone said they had a secret and you would die if you didn't find out what it is

it's just a dumb childish obsession of mine

[Hara_Juku Tgirl]

I think Norma has some valid points. Not every girl are afforded proper and needed name and gender changes on their ID's. Read this link:

http://www.tsroadmap.com/reality/name/resident-alien.html

Let's face it, there are alot of transgenders from other countries who are fucked changing their names legally.

~Kisses.

HTG

[tsntx]

while that may all be true hara

coming up w/ an ellaborate story as to why shes not hooker and youre not a john shows where ur mind state is

so stop seeing hookers norma

[Hara_Juku Tgirl]

lol

~Kisses.

HTG

[tsntx]

It's pretty simple, Girls want nothing to do with their OLD self. So asking one what her old boy name was, is like telling a girl she isn't as convincing as a woman as she think she is. Add the fact that, anyone who knew a girls boy name will use that to their advantage out of spite. Besides, if you already got the lastname then their first name..how easy is it to research them? Their past etc. A lot of the girls are uncomfortable with that..

~Kisses.

HTG

I agree with Hara.

Just want to add one point. If the guy and girl are starting a LTR or good friendship, I think it is sort of important for a guy to know the girl's given birth name, in case, which can happen, they are stopped by a police officer who is not in a good mood. If the cop asks the guy what he's doing with the girl, and he answers that she's a gf or friend, and he can't back it up by knowing her given name, which is probably on her ID, then the cop might get kinda rowdy. Otherwise, some biased cops might think or assume that all girls are working girls, or actually know that they ARE escorts, they wont believe the guy. The cop might believe, if their stories don't add up, that they are trying to cover up an escort encounter.

But I don't blame girls for not revealing their given name, particularly to clients and non-friends.


uh no idiot

girls have their names changed.... most do

No , Jen, most don't.

maybe the CROSSDRESSERS and DRAG QUEENS you hang out with dont

but most REAL TRANS WOMEN DO

[Norma]

I think Norma has some valid points. Not every girl are afforded proper and needed name and gender changes on their ID's. Read this link:

http://www.tsroadmap.com/reality/name/resident-alien.html

Let's face it, there are alot of transgenders from other countries who are fucked changing their names legally.

~Kisses.

HTG

Exactly.

To Ruby and Jen, i agree with you gals, in that you have worked hard to change your documents, get pro photos for promotion , can actually do a show like Urban Safari. But , not all girls are in your shoes. You gals are higher profile, like celebrities, and should be damn proud of it, and never tell a guy your given name if you don't feel like it.

Alot of girls I know are barely making ends meet, and they are more worried about keeping up their hormone regimen, buying clothes and food, and trying to live, than attend to basic things like changing their name.

To Alyssa: It's happened to guy friends who date girls, and It's happend to girls I know.

[Norma]

It's pretty simple, Girls want nothing to do with their OLD self. So asking one what her old boy name was, is like telling a girl she isn't as convincing as a woman as she think she is. Add the fact that, anyone who knew a girls boy name will use that to their advantage out of spite. Besides, if you already got the lastname then their first name..how easy is it to research them? Their past etc. A lot of the girls are uncomfortable with that..

~Kisses.

HTG

I agree with Hara.

Just want to add one point. If the guy and girl are starting a LTR or good friendship, I think it is sort of important for a guy to know the girl's given birth name, in case, which can happen, they are stopped by a police officer who is not in a good mood. If the cop asks the guy what he's doing with the girl, and he answers that she's a gf or friend, and he can't back it up by knowing her given name, which is probably on her ID, then the cop might get kinda rowdy. Otherwise, some biased cops might think or assume that all girls are working girls, or actually know that they ARE escorts, they wont believe the guy. The cop might believe, if their stories don't add up, that they are trying to cover up an escort encounter.

But I don't blame girls for not revealing their given name, particularly to clients and non-friends.


uh no idiot

girls have their names changed.... most do

No , Jen, most don't.

maybe the CROSSDRESSERS and DRAG QUEENS you hang out with dont

but most REAL TRANS WOMEN DO

You have a real naive definition of what a REAL TRANS WOMAN is, if you think that all trans women, should have achieved, what YOU have achieved in the time it's taken you to do it.

You do not represent all REAL TRANS WOMEN. It might be true for you and the people in your scene. But it's not true across the board.

[tsntx]

i dont claim it to be either sweetie

but you dont get tits when ure a man named john

you get them when youre a woman named _______

[tsntx]

you cant climb the hill w/o starting at the bottom

[jesseflo]

i was pretty lucky as jesse is my real name and luckily its a unisex kinda name so no need for a name change etc. :D

[BlackAdder]

I always ask what a girls boy name was once were to that comfort level... If she goes wierd on it then i know its time to sever that relationship... If your going to go strange on something so innocuous, then god knows what will happen down the line.... Im not hung up on it either...If they tell me im just like...hmm..okay..../shrug. I think I ask just to see if they will tell...kinda says something about them as a person and there overall confidence level.

[RubyTS]

I always ask what a girls boy name was once were to that comfort level... If she goes wierd on it then i know its time to sever that relationship... If your going to go strange on something so innocuous, then god knows what will happen down the line.... Im not hung up on it either...If they tell me im just like...hmm..okay..../shrug. I think I ask just to see if they will tell...kinda says something about them as a person and there overall confidence level.

you'd seriously break up with a girfriend over something that ridiculous? Im sorry but y would u think that her not telliing you her given name at birth has anything to do with her relationship with you? And u name a girl who doesn't get queezy saying her male name.. besides jesse lol... or a leslie...

[slinky]

It's pretty simple, Girls want nothing to do with their OLD self.

Except for one problem: wherever you go..... there you are. Plenty of people do plenty of things to run away from their issues rather than dealing with them, and in a lot of cases end up very unhappy when they do all the things they think are going to make them happy, but all of their problems are still there. Of course, this is no where near relegated solely to TS girls, it's universal.

[NYCe]

:smh

[tsntx]

Dude, are you serious. I have never, ever, ever, ever asked a tgirl what her male name was. Damn man. Bad move on so many levels.

yeah how did u get mod status

lol j/k congrats

[blckhaze]

dont really wanna know & dont need to see boy pics.

thats all your biz, share if you want.

[tsntx]

I always ask what a girls boy name was once were to that comfort level... If she goes wierd on it then i know its time to sever that relationship... If your going to go strange on something so innocuous, then god knows what will happen down the line.... Im not hung up on it either...If they tell me im just like...hmm..okay..../shrug. I think I ask just to see if they will tell...kinda says something about them as a person and there overall confidence level.

you know i like you but you sound like a giant hypocritical douche here

you do see what you wrote right? lol

[KiraHarden]

It's pretty simple, Girls want nothing to do with their OLD self.

Except for one problem: wherever you go..... there you are. Plenty of people do plenty of things to run away from their issues rather than dealing with them, and in a lot of cases end up very unhappy when they do all the things they think are going to make them happy, but all of their problems are still there. Of course, this is no where near relegated solely to TS girls, it's universal.

We are not running away from our problems. We are just changing our names to fit our new lives, gender and identity.

Our old names are none of your concern, and save the trust angle. Cause I'm not buying that shit either.

I can expect a guy off the street just being clueless about t-girls and asking about our old names.

But come on you guys that date us, should know somethings are off limits from our past.

[Hara_Juku Tgirl]

It's pretty simple, Girls want nothing to do with their OLD self.

Except for one problem: wherever you go..... there you are. Plenty of people do plenty of things to run away from their issues rather than dealing with them, and in a lot of cases end up very unhappy when they do all the things they think are going to make them happy, but all of their problems are still there. Of course, this is no where near relegated solely to TS girls, it's universal.

I was talking more about a girls "BOY past" not a girls issues/problem with her current self. There is a difference. Man, woman, gay, lesbian or what have you cannot run from their issues/problems - PERIOD unless they deal with it head on. Anyone with half a brain already knows that as a GIVEN.





Except for one problem: wherever you go..... there you are. Plenty of people do plenty of things to run away from their issues rather than dealing with them, and in a lot of cases end up very unhappy when they do all the things they think are going to make them happy, but all of their problems are still there. Of course, this is no where near relegated solely to TS girls, it's universal.

We are not running away from our problems. We are just changing our names to fit our new lives, gender and identity.

Our old names are none of your concern, and save the trust angle. Cause I'm not buying that shit either.

I can expect a guy off the street just being clueless about t-girls and asking about our old names.

But come on you guys that date us, should know somethings are off limits from our past.

Nicely put..Thank you! ;)


~Kisses.

HTG

[Bob's Tgirls]

don't laugh at this but I never learn. just when I'm getting friendly with a girl and something might develop I ask her what her boy name was. I can't help myself even though I know it's a total mood killer.

why the f are girls so hung up with this? It's not like I'll ever use it or God forbid repeat it to any other person. I just need to know she trusts me enough to reveal something so intimate about her past.

Well, since you know most girls are uncomfortable with their boy names, why not just leave it alone. If you really become intimate with one (I don't mean just fucking) she'll probably be OK with it. :)

[Justawannabe]

I wouldn't want to know it unless I was in position to be dealing with family/friends from prior to her transition. It's a stupid thing, but I really want to feel I'm on solid ground dealing with folks, and that's hard to do when they can pull out such easy stuff you don't know.

Sean

[hwbs]

if u are around the same girl long enough u will find out in due time....i prob know 90 percent of the girls i know....i never ask...not something i ever ask about....just like i dont care about knowing the preferred name verr working name.....i just say hey u !!!!! hahahahaha

[tsntx]

LOL @

HEY YOU!

[Dinand]

If I would be with a tgirl I wouldn't want to know ANYTHING about the way she once was, no names, no pics, no nothing!

I mean can you imagine being with a hot girl and she says she use to be George? So when you're having sex with her all you can think of....damn....I'm having sex with George!

[sexyshana]

I don't see a big deal with telling your birth name to someone you're in a relationship with.
Its part of who you are/were.

[Legend]

While your at why not ask to see her old boy clothes or any part of her life that reminds her that she is not a woman.

[slinky]

We are not running away from our problems. We are just changing our names to fit our new lives, gender and identity.

Our old names are none of your concern, and save the trust angle. Cause I'm not buying that shit either.

I can expect a guy off the street just being clueless about t-girls and asking about our old names.

But come on you guys that date us, should know somethings are off limits from our past.





I was talking more about a girls "BOY past" not a girls issues/problem with her current self. There is a difference.



What you both missed was that I wasn't talking about the name issue. I was talking about " Man, woman, gay, lesbian or what have you cannot run from their issues/problems - PERIOD unless they deal with it head on. Anyone with half a brain already knows that as a GIVEN.". And it's been well documented that SOME percentage of TS have "buyer's remorse" when they find out that T-ing didn't solve any of their real issues and they were merely sublimating issues.

There are many girls whose entire existence revolves around "being tT, as opposed to being a person in the world and dealing with reality. But instead they live in this alternate "T Universe" where the laws of nature, science, logic and accountability somehow cease to exist.

[Alyssa87]

I think I’m very well adjusted. I don’t have any remorse, or live in a t-reality.
It just makes me uncomfortable saying or hearing my birth name.

And if you know that it makes me feel that way, and u still insist on knowing, I can totally see a resentment growing on my part.
Not because you’re curious, but because you’re not considerate enough to honor my feelings.

I could care less about my good girlfriend’s birth names, and I love them dearly.

[KiraHarden]

We are not running away from our problems. We are just changing our names to fit our new lives, gender and identity.

Our old names are none of your concern, and save the trust angle. Cause I'm not buying that shit either.

I can expect a guy off the street just being clueless about t-girls and asking about our old names.

But come on you guys that date us, should know somethings are off limits from our past.





I was talking more about a girls "BOY past" not a girls issues/problem with her current self. There is a difference.



What you both missed was that I wasn't talking about the name issue. I was talking about " Man, woman, gay, lesbian or what have you cannot run from their issues/problems - PERIOD unless they deal with it head on. Anyone with half a brain already knows that as a GIVEN.". And it's been well documented that SOME percentage of TS have "buyer's remorse" when they find out that T-ing didn't solve any of their real issues and they were merely sublimating issues.

There are many girls whose entire existence revolves around "being tT, as opposed to being a person in the world and dealing with reality. But instead they live in this alternate "T Universe" where the laws of nature, science, logic and accountability somehow cease to exist.

this thread was about revealing our birth names . You should start a thread on logic and accountability

I live in the real world, not trannyland

[AllanahStarrNYC]

In New York, it cost about $200 to change your name.
You don't need a lawyer to do it, you can do it yourslef.
The process is EASY.

Anyone who is able to, meaning has legal residency and citezenship, who does not do it, is just plain LAZY.

I totally empthatize with girls who are not able to do so because of immigration issues. Having your legal name not reflect your new gender
can be a very embarrasing and traumatic thing.

With that being said, I've had boyfriends who never wanted to know or cared to ask, and I've met guys who wanted to know right away-which is a total turn off.

If that kind of trust develops, and the partner is curious and asks, and one feels comfortable then of course it's ok.

But for so many of us, that was such a traumatic time in our life, that we do not want to really be reminded of it.

When I heat of American girls who do not have their name changed, I am in utter SHOCK. A lot of countries make name changes VERY difficult-
this is a privalege here- every TS who can and wants to change her name should take advantage of it. Don't expect to be treated (in gender pro-noun) as a woman at airports, stores, hotels, etc- if your name is not changed. No matter how you look, if your name is 'Robert" people are most likely to call you a he than if your name is 'Susan". Just an example

[tsntx]

bingo allanah. totally agree

[msbhaven]

For those of you who haven't seen it, Calpernia Adams does an absolutely wonderful job of answering this question in her video about the dumbest questions you can ask a transgirl. If you still don't get why this isn't a cool question to ask after reading all of the responses from the girls here I suggest you go to Youtube and check it out.

Ashlee

[tsmandy]

I can't speak for other girls, but I know for myself there is a disconnect. If you ask me what my boy name is, I probably would just get a confused look on my face because it has been so long since I've thought about that phase of my life.

So asking about that part of my life doesn't feel more intimate, it feels like you are seeking a falsehood, and trying to learn things about me that don't hold much weight in my life.

I feel like I was living underwater before I transistioned or something...

[tsmandy]

Alot of girls I know are barely making ends meet, and they are more worried about keeping up their hormone regimen, buying clothes and food, and trying to live, than attend to basic things like changing their name.
.

I was homeless when I got my name changed in Oregon. Outside in (a homeless youth and trans services organization) paid the legal fee and sent an advocate with me to court, and I used a friends address as my residence. So I'm not buying it.

At the same time, I still haven't changed my birth certificate, and thus I can't get a passport....

I think the process feels more intimidating to most trans people than it actually is. I'm always trying to encourage my friends to get it done, and so many of them just act like it's impossible.

[RubyTS]

Alot of girls I know are barely making ends meet, and they are more worried about keeping up their hormone regimen, buying clothes and food, and trying to live, than attend to basic things like changing their name.
.

I was homeless when I got my name changed in Oregon. Outside in (a homeless youth and trans services organization) paid the legal fee and sent an advocate with me to court, and I used a friends address as my residence. So I'm not buying it.

At the same time, I still haven't changed my birth certificate, and thus I can't get a passport....

I think the process feels more intimidating to most trans people than it actually is. I'm always trying to encourage my friends to get it done, and so many of them just act like it's impossible.

Im working on getting my passport for next month. They don't give u such a hard time with the name change as they do about replacing m with f. You have to have documents stating you've underwent SRS or have scheduled a date for the surgery.

[flabbybody]

related link on legal name change

http://www.hungangels.com/board/viewtopic.php?t=37654&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0

[Felicia Katt]

Its pretty ironic that of the guys participating in this thread hardly any even use their first name as their screen name or even disclose their locations

FK

[tsntx]

meow!

[Norma]

Alot of girls I know are barely making ends meet, and they are more worried about keeping up their hormone regimen, buying clothes and food, and trying to live, than attend to basic things like changing their name.
.

I was homeless when I got my name changed in Oregon. Outside in (a homeless youth and trans services organization) paid the legal fee and sent an advocate with me to court, and I used a friends address as my residence. So I'm not buying it.

At the same time, I still haven't changed my birth certificate, and thus I can't get a passport....

I think the process feels more intimidating to most trans people than it actually is. I'm always trying to encourage my friends to get it done, and so many of them just act like it's impossible.

:wink: I agree with you, about how easy it can be, and how all girls should do it. But not all of them do it. I DO know a lot of girls who did change their name, as well as knowing a lot that haven't. I think Ruby touched on a point that might have to do with it, which is they might be intimidated about how costly/difficult it might be to get the name change, and probably hold off on it for quite some time.

All of you girls, who post here, and have webcams, pay websites, parties, shows and all that, have been blessed and talented enough to know what you want and go through with seeing it to realization. A lot of girls need guidance, and might not even know the resources that are available to them.

The real Trans World goes by the "Land of Opportunity'' mentality, It is a highly competitive world, and just like in the capitalistic world, Some Products become household names, while others are never noticed or no light is ever thrust upon them.

[Bone Dry]

Mod, with all due respect, If you have learned it is a total mood killer, then stop asking! Duh!!

[Hara_Juku Tgirl]

We are not running away from our problems. We are just changing our names to fit our new lives, gender and identity.

Our old names are none of your concern, and save the trust angle. Cause I'm not buying that shit either.

I can expect a guy off the street just being clueless about t-girls and asking about our old names.

But come on you guys that date us, should know somethings are off limits from our past.





I was talking more about a girls "BOY past" not a girls issues/problem with her current self. There is a difference.



What you both missed was that I wasn't talking about the name issue. I was talking about " Man, woman, gay, lesbian or what have you cannot run from their issues/problems - PERIOD unless they deal with it head on. Anyone with half a brain already knows that as a GIVEN.". And it's been well documented that SOME percentage of TS have "buyer's remorse" when they find out that T-ing didn't solve any of their real issues and they were merely sublimating issues.

There are many girls whose entire existence revolves around "being tT, as opposed to being a person in the world and dealing with reality. But instead they live in this alternate "T Universe" where the laws of nature, science, logic and accountability somehow cease to exist.

this thread was about revealing our birth names . You should start a thread on logic and accountability

I live in the real world, not trannyland

Exactly my sentiments. Everyday I go out in public, interact with people in the health care field (nurses, case managers, social workers, doctors, emt etc.) and NONE ever bother ask what my birth name was. I could easily tell them my name was Lisa, Allanah, Jennifer etc. (One emt earlier asked me if I was Norma? lol) and bottomline - It's really nobody's business but mine and mine alone. That's living out in the real world not some fabled "T universe" you were talking about. Maybe some that you know does, but there are a lot of t-women who aren't and enjoy living pretty normal lives!

~Kisses.

HTG

[slinky]

It's sad that whenever any male brings up a valid point, it gets dismissed with various sorts of sidetracking, rather than dealt with seriously. Usually with some sort of "you can't know anything because you're not a transsexual" quip, or, as in this case, merely dismissed - as if there's no thread drift on 87.43% of the threads on this site.

And any girls who go out every nite, go clubbing, do drugs, have no real job except for porn and/or prostitution (or even derive any substantial portions of their incomes from such) aren't leading "normal" lives.GMAFB - all one has to do is look at this site and EVERY DAY see girls who are living in the alternate T universe. You'd probably have problem finding a single page where there wasn't at least one thread on it evidencing this.

And ask anyone who has to deal with these divas on a professional level (like producers), and I can't think of a single one who would tell you that in general T-pornstars ( or GG pornstars either) have any real sense of reality.

Or even ask any of the party promoters about the reliability of booked performers showing up, or the responsibility they take towards their bookings.

[Coroner]

don't laugh at this but I never learn. just when I'm getting friendly with a girl and something might develop I ask her what her boy name was. I can't help myself even though I know it's a total mood killer.

why the f are girls so hung up with this? It's not like I'll ever use it or God forbid repeat it to any other person. I just need to know she trusts me enough to reveal something so intimate about her past.

It´s not just a mood killer but a potency killer, so you won´t have a boner for two weeks.

[SF_Julie]

When somebody asks us our "real" name, is basically a way to delegitimatize our personalities, label us in their minds and disregard our transgender situation (which is that WE WERE BORN WOMEN with body and social challenges).

Contrary to what they would say (you know, the "sure, I respect you"), the intriguing questions come from their deep and subconscious believes that we are not the women we portray to be, that we are not "real", and that all this time it has been a dude orchestrating our transformation behind scenes.

So No, I will not tell anyone. How on earth will I set myself up for failure? Being accepted as a woman cost me everything. Should now step backwards for the sake of a relationship? Trust me, I have seen it. As soon as the name is out... EVERYTHING changes. Mistakes in pronouns, double name, blah blah blah...

[RubyTS]

It's sad that whenever any male brings up a valid point, it gets dismissed with various sorts of sidetracking, rather than dealt with seriously. Usually with some sort of "you can't know anything because you're not a transsexual" quip, or, as in this case, merely dismissed - as if there's no thread drift on 87.43% of the threads on this site.

And any girls who go out every nite, go clubbing, do drugs, have no real job except for porn and/or prostitution (or even derive any substantial portions of their incomes from such) aren't leading "normal" lives.GMAFB - all one has to do is look at this site and EVERY DAY see girls who are living in the alternate T universe. You'd probably have problem finding a single page where there wasn't at least one thread on it evidencing this.

And ask anyone who has to deal with these divas on a professional level (like producers), and I can't think of a single one who would tell you that in general T-pornstars ( or GG pornstars either) have any real sense of reality.

Or even ask any of the party promoters about the reliability of booked performers showing up, or the responsibility they take towards their bookings.

you my deear, need to relax with the generalizations. This post was one after another after another. Im not sure what girls YOU are used to dealing with, but i think u need to change your circle of tranny friends if that is in fact the case. Otherwise u have been reading wayyy too many stories.

[stevewhammy]

I cant understand why you would want to know there boy name, just sounds stupid to me.

[SarahG]

I think Norma has some valid points. Not every girl are afforded proper and needed name and gender changes on their ID's. Read this link:

http://www.tsroadmap.com/reality/name/resident-alien.html

Let's face it, there are alot of transgenders from other countries who are fucked changing their names legally.

~Kisses.

HTG

Adding on to that, there are some conservative pricks out there who intentionally go out of their way to prevent a trans citizen from getting a name change.

Some of the conservative judges in upstate NY were, FOR YEARS- running around requiring girls be POSTOP first in order to get a name change. If they were married to a GG, these judges demanded (without legal basis for this demand) to get divorced first. The ACLU had to step in, at least a couple of times- to fight it, and one time it was with a FtM who passed so well that the judge was out of his mind in expecting him to go postop first.

A lot of this I blame on judges not always being lawyers, there are a lot of judges who are probably good people- but simply are clueless when it comes to the law. In MOST STATES getting a name changed is really really cut & dry. As long as you're 1) an adult, 2) not a sex offender, 3) not changing your name to defraud someone- you can pick just about any name you want. I could, in theory, tell a judge I want my name to be "Shit For Brains" and- although insane, as long as I am not doing it to hide off of sex offender lists, or to try to sneak my way out of a pile of debt- then that's all the law actually cares about. The law is not there to be my mommy, they're not there to make sure "its a normal name"- and in virtually all cases, the law doesn't have any extra procedures or steps for people who happen to be trans.

As far as the letter of the law is concerned you don't need a letter, don't need a therapist, don't need to be single, don't need to have a formal diagnosis, don't need to be fulltime, don't need to pass, don't need to be on hrt. Yet a lot of judges feel the need to inject themselves in there anyway, either due to ignorance or spite (or both).

My name change experiences weren't ideal, I actually had to MOVE to get my name changed. I couldn't even file where I originally lived, the clerks kept throwing the petition out behind my back after I'd leave (as in the form would go right in the trash and never got onto the legal record). When I did file, in another state- the judge was polite but grilled me on a bunch of things the law doesn't care about (stuff like whether i had kids, whether I am married, whether I am fulltime, how long i had been on hrt, etc etc etc). I have no idea what the judge would have said if I had "given the wrong answers." I can only imagine what would have happened to a girl seeing that judge who had a full family of 4, GG wife, didn't pass, didn't have a diagnosis, or wasn't fulltime yet... but my case was so "nonsensationalist" that it wasn't hard outside of all the irrelevant questions, to get the petition granted. The judge was comfortable seeing me get the name changed, and I think that was a big reason why it went so smoothly.

After I went through that part, I was given a very long lecture that I really didn't need about being fulltime. The judge made this long argument that the name change process exists to avoid confusion in the public record, and that it would be legally wrong for me to add confusion to the picture by alternating what name I use or how I present myself... for me it was a moot point, I've been fulltime for years and that's not going to change in the future- but the judge was, as far as the letter of the law was concerned, injecting stuff that really wasn't in there. No state OR COUNTRY, as far as I know, cares whether a trans citizen is part time after getting their name changed. The implications were that I would be breaking the law or the court order by alternating either, there was no legal basis behind that but I wasn't about to argue with the guy (even if the law had allowed him to place a stipulation like that into the court order, which he didn't -this was just an oral lecture- I'd have agreed with it, not like I'd ever be presenting any other way).

I anticipated the judge would assume "the process is different if the person is trans" and had the letter of the law printed out and with me when I went to the hearing. I didn't end up using it, and it probably would have angered the guy if I had (no one likes being told they're wrong, especially authority figures). I advise anyone out there who wants to change their name, but hasn't yet- to do the same (have the law on hand to show the judge you meet all the requirements, and that there are no other requirements based on whether your trans- but only use it as a tactic of absolute last resort).

I would also say, if you want to try stealth life- file in a state that does not require public notice. In some states in order to change your name as an adult, you have to place an ad in the legal section of the newspapers to say "so in so was __, is now ___" (paraphrasing, not exact). No one in their right mind reads all those legal notices anyway, so its not like people will see them BUT it does risk people finding your old name by googling you. The paper might not be online today, but there is an effort all across the US to digitize newspapers going back decades and put them online for free browsing via text searching. Some states might also require it go in a paper that is popular in the jurisdiction, which would increase the odds of the information getting online.

[slinky]

you my deear, need to relax with the generalizations. This post was one after another after another. Im not sure what girls YOU are used to dealing with, but i think u need to change your circle of tranny friends if that is in fact the case. Otherwise u have been reading wayyy too many stories.



Forrest............. trees.


http://www.hungangels.com/board/viewtopic.php?t=39019&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0

[tsntx]

mr. ocho cinco comes to mind

[sheyum]

i tell the boys i'll tell em what my name was- when we're married.


OKOK--Ill marry you

[dreamer]

name came up on my caller ID ---not a big deal --

[BabyFirefly42481]

I think the reason we have a problem with this is....because you askin what my boy name was...makes me think that you belive who i am now is a fake or charecter. Also feel if you knew it would be something to throw in my face....like you would try to put me in my place by sayin "who you think you are....i know yer REAL name is blah blah blah.

[ARMANIXXX]

I've asked girls, that I've become friends with, their birth names.

Never a problem.

[ARMANIXXX]

When somebody asks us our "real" name, is basically a way to delegitimatize our personalities, label us in their minds and disregard our transgender situation (which is that WE WERE BORN WOMEN with body and social challenges).

Contrary to what they would say (you know, the "sure, I respect you"), the intriguing questions come from their deep and subconscious believes that we are not the women we portray to be, that we are not "real", and that all this time it has been a dude orchestrating our transformation behind scenes.

So No, I will not tell anyone. How on earth will I set myself up for failure? Being accepted as a woman cost me everything. Should now step backwards for the sake of a relationship? Trust me, I have seen it. As soon as the name is out... EVERYTHING changes. Mistakes in pronouns, double name, blah blah blah...

Your suggesting some sinister motive, and that's just not true.

If I've just met you, I wouldn't ask you what your birth name was, cause maybe it would just be a "hook up" date and that's that. But if we were to continue seeing each other, at some point, I'm gonna ask. If you're saying that your past boyfriends use it against you, I would say you didn't have much of a boyfriend to begin with.

[Alyssa87]

i tell the boys i'll tell em what my name was- when we're married.


OKOK--Ill marry you

conflict-free diamonds only please, hubby 8)