> Quoatmeal_ Share Humorous, Insightful, Memorable Quotes

[Ren_Ludwig]

[Chaotic]

I'll throw down a couple:

"A freind of mine once said he found Jesus, and I thought, woohoo! We're rich! It turns out he meant something else......" Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey

"The world of work in a nutshell: If you suck, your fired! If you swallow, your promoted! "....Me :P

[Quiet Reflections]

"The greatest minds are capable of the greatest vices as well as of the greatest virtues".
~Rene Descartes~
I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet, strange, I am ungrateful to those teachers.
~Kahlil Gibran~

[hippifried]

"Stupidity cannot be cured with education, legislation, or money.
Stupidity is not a sin because the victim cannot help being stupid.
Stupidity is the universal capital crime. Sentence is carried out automatically & without pity."
~Robert Heinlein~

"As a babyboomer, I am a member of the first generation of Americans expected to continue education past the elementary level."
~Me~

[Fox]

"If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things." - Albert Einstein

"If we command our wealth, we shall be rich and free. If our wealth commands us, we are poor indeed." - Edmund Burke

[lupinIII]

"These alco-pops taste funny! - That's a glow stick you birk!"

The Mighty Boosh

"Here we are now, entertain us"

Kurt Cobain

"When the church hears the cry of the oppressed it cannot but denounce the social structures that give rise to and perpetuate the misery from which the cry arises."

"Brothers, you came from our own people. You are killing your own brothers. Any human order to kill must be subordinate to the law of God, which says, 'Thou shalt not kill'. No soldier is obliged to obey an order contrary to the law of God. No one has to obey an immoral law. It is high time you obeyed your consciences rather than sinful orders. The church cannot remain silent before such an abomination. ...In the name of God, in the name of this suffering people whose cry rises to heaven more loudly each day, I implore you, I beg you, I order you: stop the repression"

Archbishop Oscar Romero (as a general rule I hate religion, but this man was one of the most amazingly bad-ass motherfuckers in existence.)

[ossumpeiEIEIO]

"Whats the soup du lour?"

"It's the soup of the day."

"Mmmm that sounds good."

[CrazyAboutTGirls]

Lady (To Winston Churchill): You Sir, are drunk!

Churchill: And you madam are ugly, but in the morning I shall be sober


'Life is what happens to you while your busy making other plans'

John Lennon

[Jericho]

"That, and three dollars will get you a Big Mac".
Dunno who.

[Quiet Reflections]

IF YOU WANNA BE HAPPY

CHORUS:If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman, your wife
So for my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

A pretty woman makes her husband look small
And,very often, causes his downfall
As soon as he marries her & then she starts
To do the things that'll break his heart
But if you make an ugly woman, your wife
You'll be happy for the rest of your wife
An ugly woman has the meals on time
And she'll always give you peace of mind

REPEAT CHORUS

Don't let your friends say you have no taste
Go ahead & marry anyway
Though her face is ugly; her eyes don't match
Take it from me, she's a better catch

REPEAT CHORUS, AGAIN

(spoken) Sayyy, Man
Hey, baby
I saw your wife, the other day
Yeah?
Yeah, & she's ugleeeee
Yeah, she's ugly, but she sure can cook, baby
Yeah,Right!!!

REPEAT CHORUS ONCE MORE

~Jimmy Soul~

[MrsKellyPierce]

lol at some of these

[hippifried]

Jimmy Soul huh? I always thought that was the Coasters. Ya learn sumthin' every day.

[lupinIII]

This was a good thread, I'm going necromantic on it. This one's for the Sci-fi geeks

Cyber Leader: Daleks, be warned. You have declared war upon the Cybermen.
Dalek Leader: This is not war - this is pest control!
Cyber Leader: We have five million Cybermen. How many are you?
Dalek Leader: Four.
Cyber Leader: You would destroy the Cybermen with four Daleks?
Dalek Leader: We would destroy the Cybermen with one Dalek! You are superior in only one respect.
Cyber Leader: What is that?
Dalek Leader: You are better at dying. Raise communications barrier!