Girls and children

[TomSelis]

While kayaking one night in a biolumenescent bay I had a thought. It would be cool to tell my kids about this one day or even do something like this with them. I was imagining my future with kids!

Later I thought, do the girls dream of being a mommy? Obviously the girls can't have kids, but do you girls think about being a parent?

I know some girls have "daughters" but I mean do you think about adopting or maybe taking in a crack-head brother's kids of something?

[JohnnyWalkerBlackLabel]

I'm gonna get killed for this in responses but fuck it, it's what the board is about, right?!?

about 5 years ago I was visiting this chick in Harlem and she was down 2 floors at her friends apt. Her friend had a kid with her (he was about 4 or 5) and she was smoking weed, carrying on, acting a fool, cussin, etc.

The last straw came for me when shorty took a pull of her blunt and blew the smoke in the kids face.........
At the time I was young and ignorant and just wanted to get out of that situation, but now that I'm older & wiser I WISH I'd anonymously called the cops on shorty and gotten the kid out of that environment. I don't know what happened with that whole scene, but I'll carry that guilt around for the rest of my life since I chose to do nothing and mind my business.

So to answer your question: I would say it depends on the person and whether or not they have a bad habit thats out of their control. It's not something you can answer yes or no to, because everyone is different..............

[NYCe]

I can name at least 10 tgirls who have their children. Not adopted, not their brothers kids, but their own "fruitage of their loins". Some are raising them, some aren't but they do exist.

[AllanahStarrNYC]

Hmmm.. I guess never say never, but for myself I would say that I don't think I will ever have children. I know some girls who have had children as well, before transitioning and such- but I think to be a good parent you have to be very selfless and I think a lot of people have children for the wrong reasons. It is an extremely difficult job to raise a child, and I do not think I would want that responsibility. I don't even know if I will ever get married but I am truly happy being single and my dogs are my children for now.

[AllanahStarrNYC]

Hmmm.. I guess never say never, but for myself I would say that I don't think I will ever have children. I know some girls who have had children as well, before transitioning and such- but I think to be a good parent you have to be very selfless and I think a lot of people have children for the wrong reasons. It is an extremely difficult job to raise a child, and I do not think I would want that responsibility. I don't even know if I will ever get married but I am truly happy being single and my dogs are my children for now.

[DatNigga4Real]

Yup i know a Tgirl right here in Baltimore that has a real SON. Yup that means she fucked a real girl, and got her pregnant. She raises lil' man well.

[NickTheQuick]

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[NickTheQuick]

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[NickTheQuick]

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[EdelweissFan]

Sorry to go off topic but I have two questions for two posters in this thread:

1. JohnnyWalker -- where did you get that picture of the girl on the piano? It rocks! I have a fetish for GG women with great legs. I assume it is some kind of ad. Is there a source other than photobucket and is there a larger version?

2. Megabody -- why do you type in ALL CAPS? In internet etiquette, THAT IS CONSIDERED TO BE SCREAMING! There is no need to SCREAM ALL THE TIME, is there? Not trying to criticize, but I really am curious.

[JohnnyWalkerBlackLabel]

Edelweiss that is a former video jockey for BET named "Free"...................I just think she's fuckin hot, do a search on the web I'm sure you can find the pics of her, took me all but 5 minutes

[EdelweissFan]

Thanks JohnnyWalker -- she is so hootttt! And I love that pic with the high heels and crossed legs.

[Ecstatic]

Hey Mega, newbies gotta learn, don't they? 8) I know I did. Anyway, I hear what you're saying, and you very clearly pointed out that it's most, not all, and that you're specifically talking about the NYC scene. Those are great qualifiers. But I hear you. My older sister had a rough youth, lived in the projects, was getting stoned in high school back in 1965/66, had one kid out of wedlock (gave him up for adoption), and three girls, the oldest of which is now 35. That girl's a dear, and has really gotten her life together, but everything you said applies to not only to TS who might want to be parents, but to anyone growing up in such an environment. My niece was a mess until a few years ago. Smart, but flunked her way through school. Had her first kid at 17, and has five now (got her tubes tied after the last one). A string of bad relationships, just like her mom. When I was 19, 20, I used to hang at my sister's in the projects 'cuz I thought it was cool 'cuz anything went. You wanna bang your gf in the bedroom with company in the living room? Go ahead. One night I was going at it with my gf and a couple of 5, 6 year old kids walk in. "What's that?" one of them says. "Oh, that's an ass," the other one says and keeps going. Kids are remarkably resilient, but that's no environment to raise them in. Add the layers of social confusion that can stem from being a tranny, and whoa, not a good mix, IF that situation persists.

Now if the girl really wants kids, cleans up her act (or was always up and up anyway), and as you say puts the kids first, then it can work out. I know of at least one girl who has done so. But it's rare, and it's not good in the situation you describe. Parenting is tough for anyone--I settled for being an uncle, never had kids of my own--so a lot of planning and good choices have to go into it. It can happen. I think your comments are more advice regarding those for whom it would be a bad choice, but not every girl by any means. But every girl who would want to have kids would have to consider all this and more very seriously.

[LAtoNY]

Why are you always such a "kiss-ass?" Are you really that much of a pollyana in real life?

... a little less stroking please. You seem like a moderately interesting cat -- no need to try so hard.

Just trying to help out.

- LA

[Tadmirer]

Since when is it considered "kiss-ass" to be respectful and pleasant.
In my short time here, I've noticed that Ecstatic is quick
to answer questions, and to express his opinion.

Whether he agrees or disagrees, he does so without resorting to
insults and name-calling.

It would be great if some other people could learn from his example.

[Ecstatic]

LAtoNY, what's your beef? I speak my mind, agree with some, disagree--sometimes strongly--with others. I'm kissing no ass. Mega doesn't need his ass kissed. Maybe if I hung tuff and talked ghetto, that would be better? If you don't like it, leave it. Sheesh.

[NYCe]

Since when is it considered "kiss-ass" to be respectful and pleasant.
In my short time here, I've noticed that Ecstatic is quick
to answer questions, and to express his opinion.

Whether he agrees or disagrees, he does so without resorting to
insults and name-calling.

It would be great if some other people could learn from his example.

Ditto.

[Ecstatic]

Tadmirer and NYCe, thank you!

[NYCe]

HEY NO ONE LOVES THESE GIRLS MORE THEN ME....I HAVE STUCK UP ON THE STREET FOR A LOT OF THE GIRLS........FAT UGLY EVEN CROSSDRESSERS, I MAY NOT FIND THEM ATTRACTIVE BUT THEY ARE MY PEOPLE.......KEEP IN MIND WHEN PENELOPE HAD THAT PROBLEM LAST FALL AT ONE OF THE PARTIES WITH STREET THUGS I WAS THE FIRST ONE TO RUN OVER...I THOUGHT IT WAS NYCe THAT WAS IN TROUBLE BUT WHEN I SAW IT WAS MY PAL PENELOPE I RAN OVER TO CALM THAT SHIT DOWN.....IVE DONE THAT FOR ALOT OF GIRLS...PLEASE DONT TELL ME I HAVE A BEEF WITH THE GIRLS OR SOIUR GRAPES, I JUST SPEAK THE TRUTH....

100% Truth. He's rough around the edges, but Mega's a standup guy with a heart of gold. His message might get muddled but if you look closely its there.

[EdelweissFan]

The girls I used to know had different stories than the blanket story Mega is saying, but he's out there now, so I'll take it for face value. Maybe things have gotten worse.

I think the one thing that almost every NYC tgirl I knew had in common is that they dropped out of school. Not necessarily because they were selling their asses, or on drugs or even from the projects.

It's just very difficult being gay, and even more difficult being a totally feminine boy going to public high school. They told me they would get beat up or worse, raped, and they just had to leave school.

For that reason, I thought it was sad when the city tried to start a hs for gay, lesbian and trans kids and the politicos and morality "police" and right wing newspapers went crazy and it was cancelled. If I had not known tgirls, I would have thought it was a crazy idea, but knowing what I know now, I can see why some people at the board of ed wanted to create a place for these kids to not drop out.

Another common problem, even if the mother is OK, is that these very femme boys' fathers usually hate them and throw them out of the house. I met a lot of tgirls whose mothers were OK and they loved their mothers, but their fathers threw them out for being such obvious, embarassing "sissies."

With no hs diploma, dressing like a girl, and maybe their parents disown them, prostitution is pretty much the only job available -- that, and for the lucky ones, hairdressing.

Prostitution means the club scene which leads to too much drinking, drugs and the rest.

But I knew a few who really had it together. One girl from Edelweiss was earning tuition money for F.I.T. to study fashion design. She got a scholarship to go to Italy to study fashion, came back, and is now a designer and out of the life. But her parents and brothers and sisters accepted her, and they were in the clothing business, and were Vietnamese, so maybe that's different.

[TomSelis]

Allanah, thanks for the response. I figured some of the girls had kids when they were guys or hell even while they were girls.

I was just wondering would some girls slow down if they were suddenly saddled with a kid. Fuck Kevin Hill, I was wondering what would happen if a lawyer showed up one day and said, "You're all this kid has; good day." would that make a girl back up for a minute and look at the big picture.

Mega, you always keep it real and I wish I could write like that, it's like a stream of consciousness in text and no I'm not kissing ass either.

[NYCe]

Fuck Kevin Hill

LOL!

[TomSelis]

Heh, I thought someone would pick up on that!

[NickTheQuick]

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[LAtoNY]

THEY ARE SAWNED FROM HUMAN GARBAGE, THIER MOTHERS WERE FAILURES

...spawned from human garbage??

That seems a bit dramatic. It also strikes me as odd that you would refer to your friends' mothers as human garbage.

[AllanahStarrNYC]

"I think the one thing that almost every NYC tgirl I knew had in common is that they dropped out of school. Not necessarily because they were selling their asses, or on drugs or even from the projects"

I think this statement is really over generalizing and untrue. I know mnay NYC ts who have at least a high school diploma. Maybe if u were hanging around the old Eldelweiss and a strong street element, then maybe this is true.

And still, if one does not have a college degree or a high school diploma, one can be successful in life. I have a AA degree in a field that is not associated with what I currently do. Granted, it was a great experience and it thought me a lot about fashion-but since I graduated I have not held a job in the fashion merchandising field.

[AllanahStarrNYC]

Actually, I tink it was Eldelweiss fan who wrote the comment, and I was addressing him. But , I will say it again, like I always say it- there are rotten girls, and there are nice girls, and there are rotten men, and there are nice men. It just seems like a lot gets dumped on the girls-but you don't see me, or some of the ladies posting all of our grievances with certain experiences with men- and trust me there are plenty.

I would not be a good mother either because I think being a parent-a good parent- is one of the most difficult, selfless, and under rewarded jobs in the world. Being a good parent has nothing to do with education-there are plenty of poor and undecated people who are good parents and do the job to the best of their abilities.


As I said earlier, most prople have children for the wrong reasons. A lot of people have kids because I think they are programmed to believe that is what they have to do-without realizing how challenging it really is.
Of course there are girls out there who I am sure are and could be great parents-

I remember years ago seeing a spanish talk show about a post op Argentenian trannsexual who has raised and adopted 14 children who were unwanted, homeless kids-and she was batteling the Argentenean goverment to get her gender and name chamged on her documents-even though she had SRS.

[Dina Delicious]

Hi all
i finally signed in that damn AOL
i dont think i would want MOST of the trannies i know to be my mom or dad
but there is something i would like to point out it is estimated that there are 10,000 transsexuals in nystate so what we see on the strolls and in the partys is a small precentage of 10,000 and i for one love children i always have and im a great aunt and im happy with that children are amazing and can teach you so much about yourself ,but im no parent, but i also know i could be if i had too
dina

[Dina Delicious]

yes baby it is me hun
love u too baby
u better come by this thursday
now lets het back on topic lol

[d]

i had a longtime girl friend and she was fantastic around children. she always wanted her own and planned on adopting some as soon as she finished school and got her own place...but her mother kicked her out, she fell in with the bad crowd and basically forgot about all that...she worked as a babysitter for awhile, she was amazing with kids. when she finally got her own place (not really, basically sharing an apartment with 3 other tgirls) she had this poster that said "a baby is gods way of saying the world should go on".i knew she really wanted her own kids

[d]

i know exactly what u mean mega.....welcome back

[Dina Delicious]

I can really relate to that poster in your x girlfriends room ,i can teach my nieces how not to hate people cause there different than you and how not to put themselves down and that anything really is possible,children are very precious and as a child i always felt love from my parents so i was never 13 and sold it on the streets but i know that it happens everyday in every major city and it is a shame and at 13 or 17 for that matter youy are still a child maybe this topic will bring some much needed humanity to this board oh and by the way the High school for gay and transgendered youth is open as i have been there numerous times to donate clothes and stuff and the kids are great and get so excited to see someone like them that turned out ok and i look back and i think i did a good job..now i need a drink and a valium
Dina

[flabbybody]

I'm having a drink with you Dina.
And I'm toasting mega, Allanah, d, NYCe, ecstatic, dajuicy, JWBL, hollywood,and all the other people who post stuff that make me want to log into this site.
not hating people cause they're different is what HA is all about. Yea, I love seeing pics of hot naked chicks. That's what probably made me come here at first. but talking about what we are all about is why I'm here every day.

[Ecstatic]

Well said and thanks, flabby. There's a core of us here (and thankfully Mega is back!), and then a shifting of the guard every few months were a bevy of people veni, vidi, vici (like . most recently, lol), but this remains the best forum of its type, and certainly the most dynamic.