View Full Version : So I threw up in a girls lap this past weekend...
tatsu1
09-02-2008, 02:48 AM
It's early Saturday morning in DC (2:00 am). I've just picked up two (well picked up is the wrong term. Let's say met, as I met them the week before.) very attractive white women (that's saying a lot, as i'm not normally attracted to white women), who were a tad older than me. I'm 25. They were 28 and 32 respectively. Bisexuals. Hot. Met them at the 'K street' lounge. Go back to there place. They are kissing and shit in their bed. I'm like "all day"! I pull down one of their panties. i take a deeeeeeeep breath; and proceeded to throw up in this woman's lap. Her crotch smelled like DEATH. Literally, Putrid Rotten Viking Fish!!!! I swear, i tasted that shit in the back of my throat. i was like, "WHAT THE FUCK!!!" and of course they were screaming at me. "what the fuck is wrong with you"? I said, "What? you're mad at me?!!! your cunt smells like shit and boiled bologna!!!" well they kicked me out... if there was there ever a doubt. As I was driving back home to NOVA, I got pulled over by the police as they noticed me dry heaving in my car. I had to tell them the embarrassing story. As a Black / Hispanic guy, it was maybe the first time cops were actually cool with me.
In the immortal words of Fat Joe "true story"...
That is all.
bolo_111
09-02-2008, 03:30 AM
They are kissing and shit in their bed. ...... i tasted that shit in the back of my throat.
:shock:
tatsu1
09-02-2008, 03:33 AM
They are kissing and shit in their bed. ...... i tasted that shit in the back of my throat.
:shock:
Niceeeeeee LOL
saifan
09-02-2008, 04:05 AM
Ah hahahahahahah.
Great story. At the time I know it was brutal but it makes for a good story now, no?
voy4her
09-02-2008, 04:23 AM
damn i was making tuna melts for dinner too.
JANIRA
09-02-2008, 04:30 AM
.......POP AN ALTOIDS IN HER TWAT............THEY'RE CURIOUSLY STRONG!
tatsu1
09-02-2008, 04:55 AM
.......POP AN ALTOIDS IN HER TWAT............THEY'RE CURIOUSLY STRONG!
Honestly, that would have only made it worse LOL.
Wino the SuperHero
09-02-2008, 07:16 AM
Damn. I feel for you man.
How the fuck could she not know her box was toxic?
She knew she was smelling like that.
Second why would she let you "attempt" to go down on her?
barefootjoe69
09-02-2008, 07:17 AM
:shock:
hiwatt1000
09-02-2008, 07:19 AM
...dude, you're my hero...that's killer...fucking, killer...I wanna party with you, man...anyone that barfs on some chick's stin'cunt is in...
LAGent4ts
09-02-2008, 07:23 AM
Think I would have bailed out when I saw the shit in the bed. :smh
Just another reason to spend time with woman who don't have this grooming situation.
tatsu1
09-02-2008, 07:37 AM
...dude, you're my hero...that's killer...fucking, killer...I wanna party with you, man...anyone that barfs on some chick's stin'cunt is in...
anytime dude. I'm a bit of a douche as i pretty much told everyone what happened. Even called my mother. I shan't tell you her reaction, lol. Let's just say she was less than thrilled to hear it. It was a pretty surreal thing, barfing on her box like that. It's what i call, "the spice of life".
bulldog
09-02-2008, 10:09 AM
where is JWBL or Haze when you need a smartass comment?
Alyssa87
09-02-2008, 10:15 AM
if those chicks had dicks you wouldnt have had this problem.
let this be a lesson :p
Thatiger23
09-02-2008, 12:08 PM
if those chicks had dicks you wouldnt have had this problem.
let this be a lesson :p
lol nice one
It's early Saturday morning in DC (2:00 am). I've just picked up two (well picked up is the wrong term. Let's say met, as I met them the week before.) very attractive white women (that's saying a lot, as i'm not normally attracted to white women), who were a tad older than me. I'm 25. They were 28 and 32 respectively. Bisexuals. Hot. Met them at the 'K street' lounge. Go back to there place. They are kissing and shit in their bed. I'm like "all day"! I pull down one of their panties. i take a deeeeeeeep breath; and proceeded to throw up in this woman's lap. Her crotch smelled like DEATH. Literally, Putrid Rotten Viking Fish!!!! I swear, i tasted that shit in the back of my throat. i was like, "WHAT THE FUCK!!!" and of course they were screaming at me. "what the fuck is wrong with you"? I said, "What? you're mad at me?!!! your cunt smells like shit and boiled bologna!!!" well they kicked me out... if there was there ever a doubt. As I was driving back home to NOVA, I got pulled over by the police as they noticed me dry heaving in my car. I had to tell them the embarrassing story. As a Black / Hispanic guy, it was maybe the first time cops were actually cool with me.
In the immortal words of Fat Joe "true story"...
That is all.
Damn. 10/10
Richctdude
09-02-2008, 01:30 PM
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! great story
the wise man in front of the friday night spot has warned me and others on this board of just this type of thing...i know nyce knows what i am talking about ;)
baileyandkc
09-02-2008, 04:16 PM
Hope my wife never gets like that!
cadcad
09-02-2008, 04:43 PM
Let's say met, as I met them the week before.) very attractive white women (that's saying a lot, as i'm not normally attracted to white women),
.
I recently said this to my GF except how I'm usually not attracted black girls and she called me racist. I told her i'm sorry for having a sexual preference.
Was wondering what other ppl think is it a racist thing to say or is my GF just giving me a hard time?
Let's say met, as I met them the week before.) very attractive white women (that's saying a lot, as i'm not normally attracted to white women),
.
I recently said this to my GF except how I'm usually not attracted black girls and she called me racist. I told her i'm sorry for having a sexual preference.
Was wondering what other ppl think is it a racist thing to say or is my GF just giving me a hard time?
Not to derail this thread, but since you asked, I wouldn't say it's inherently racist, no. If you had said it to her in a negative tone, then I could see why she said that. Otherwise, nah. We all have our preferences.
ottorocket
09-02-2008, 08:01 PM
Likely one had a bad infection of some sort...even an unclean twat shouldn't cause someone to vomit, probably a yeast infections or a venereal disease.
SarahG
09-02-2008, 09:59 PM
Let's say met, as I met them the week before.) very attractive white women (that's saying a lot, as i'm not normally attracted to white women),
.
I recently said this to my GF except how I'm usually not attracted black girls and she called me racist. I told her i'm sorry for having a sexual preference.
Was wondering what other ppl think is it a racist thing to say or is my GF just giving me a hard time?
I know a couple guys that are only into red heads- to the point of it being a major fetish. Does that make them racist? I kinda doubt it.
tommymageeshemales2
09-02-2008, 11:41 PM
To come back to the original topic, I think this story is bollox. It could be called inventive, and maybe funny - so kudos to the OP. But, come on, when are most of us likeliest to vomit? After a few too many, not when you've just smelled a musky mankhole.
tatsu1
09-03-2008, 04:00 AM
if those chicks had dicks you wouldnt have had this problem.
let this be a lesson :p
HA!! lol. Touche.
and to Tommy... it's all true. As i said, i was NOT drunk. I was QUITE sober. Her box was offensive.
tatsu1
09-03-2008, 04:05 AM
ignore... :roll: double post.
jiggly
09-03-2008, 04:48 AM
, Putrid Rotten Viking Fish!!!!
number 1 don't dis vikings, or techno viking will FUCK YOU UP
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1nzEFMjkI4
I said, "What? you're mad at me?!!! your cunt smells like shit and boiled bologna!!!"
People in jersey won't understand why this is bad.... fuck jersey and their taylor ham.... ITS FUCKING FRIED BOLOGNA, AND ITS NOT BETTER THAN CANADIAN HAM.... sorry i have friends in jersey who swear by this shit, and because of this they are retarded.
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