NjTranceAddict
08-29-2008, 07:28 AM
Lately I find myself thoroughly unimpressed, undaunted and quite simply bored with everything and everyone around me. I feel like I need to intellectually and emotionally "graduate" from the state I'm in. I'm not a "better than thou" douchebag who thinks everything is beneath him - I just don't know what to do with myself any more.
I've been feeling an eerie sort of calmness lately, too. It's a difficult feeling to explain because I don't care what happens or goes on around me, and yet I'm not depressed. I've been through extreme bouts of depression more times than I care to remember, but this is not one of them. I'm not on any medication, and though I drink often, I drink far less than I have in years. I live alone, and I've been single for quite some time, but I still don't think that's the problem.
It seems I'm constantly searching for something in my head, but I don't know what it is. I have some very good ideas that can potentially make me good money, and I have some jobs lined up that I should pursue, but none of them feel "right". I've thought about leaving everyone and everything I know to just go find whatever it is I'm looking for, but that's not a feasible option right now. I need to belong to somewhere, something or someone.
I'm confused. :? Any advice?
EDIT - I neglected to mention two things.
Along with my frustration comes a bit of anger, and though anger sometimes fuels productive, positive actions I don't enjoy it. I especially don't enjoy it when I don't know why I'm angry.
The second thing is that I was given a very nice smelling candle last week, and I noticed that my mood changed dramatically, from bad to good, when I burned it. Maybe aroma therapy is something I should try, so I wonder what your experience is with that.
I've been feeling an eerie sort of calmness lately, too. It's a difficult feeling to explain because I don't care what happens or goes on around me, and yet I'm not depressed. I've been through extreme bouts of depression more times than I care to remember, but this is not one of them. I'm not on any medication, and though I drink often, I drink far less than I have in years. I live alone, and I've been single for quite some time, but I still don't think that's the problem.
It seems I'm constantly searching for something in my head, but I don't know what it is. I have some very good ideas that can potentially make me good money, and I have some jobs lined up that I should pursue, but none of them feel "right". I've thought about leaving everyone and everything I know to just go find whatever it is I'm looking for, but that's not a feasible option right now. I need to belong to somewhere, something or someone.
I'm confused. :? Any advice?
EDIT - I neglected to mention two things.
Along with my frustration comes a bit of anger, and though anger sometimes fuels productive, positive actions I don't enjoy it. I especially don't enjoy it when I don't know why I'm angry.
The second thing is that I was given a very nice smelling candle last week, and I noticed that my mood changed dramatically, from bad to good, when I burned it. Maybe aroma therapy is something I should try, so I wonder what your experience is with that.