Worst times to get a boner

[MrsKellyPierce]

Dancing with a guy that doesn't know

Dancing with a guy that doesn't know while wearing a thong.

Wearing a thong.

lol and some others name yours!

[ottorocket]

Worst time to get a boner? Starting the propeller on a Piper cub by hand.

[hondarobot]

:lol:

Tighten up your thong, or use Super Glue.

:P

[hondarobot]

I'm just kidding around, Kellybean.

:wink:

[Willie Escalade]

Wearing boxers under sweatpants. :oops:

[JustMeHere]

Anything requiring a tux or other unbearably thin, albeit nice looking, formal wear. Nothing like being at a friend's wedding, wearing something in which you can finally not look like a hobo, and having any illusion of class (which, for some of us is something that you can never quite attain) ruined by having to awkwardly put your hand in your pocket and shuffle around hoping that no one in the small social circle you're in is looking below eye level.

[xrey]

At the doctors office :lol:

[Blkmonkey]

When you gotta pee in the morning. Only thing i hate bout mornin wood...

[MrsKellyPierce]

When you gotta pee in the morning. Only thing i hate bout mornin wood... what about after sex lol

[Ozniak]

After sex sucks... two streams = loss.

[MrsKellyPierce]

After sex sucks... two streams = loss. lol you cracker m up

[Ozniak]

Cracker?!?!

R-A-C-I-S-T!!

:D

[LTR_Seeker]

Dancing with a guy that doesn't know

Dancing with a guy that doesn't know while wearing a thong.

Wearing a thong.

lol and some others name yours! I be flattered :wink:

[goldensamba]

At the gym. It's terrible when you're wearing some workout gear. It's always thin, loose material so it's extremely obvious.

[cockgobbler]

At a funeral.

[needsum]

never--boners are good!

Come on, it's free, easy advertising. Say you're at the gym and you see a hot girl on the treadmill and you sport wood. What better way to say, "Hey, you're hot! wanna get together?"





Hahahahah I kid, I kid . . .

[trish]

When the drill sargent screams in your face.

[Paladin]

Cracker?!?!

R-A-C-I-S-T!!

:D

It was probably a typo you DUMASS :evil:

[yodajazz]

When the drill sargent screams in your face.

Best laugh of today! But you have to live through it like me to know what the essence of 'drill sargeant' is. But anyway, in that situation, you could always say; "This only shows how enthusiastic I am to perform my millitary duties, drill sargeant!"

[TS DANIELLE FOXXX]

I went to a huge straight club with my friend Sonia here in LA. We got free drinks and got a bit tipsy.

We meet this super hot army guy and start dancing with him. Sonia is facing him and I am grabbing him from behind. Sonia has on Jeans and I have on a mini. I do the reach around and grab his cock and start playing with it while Sonia is lip smakin'

He then proceeds to reach under my skirt and guess what????

He finds a super hard uncut anaconda cock!

I know it's cliche but true story.

He gets all freaked out and starts chasing us around the club. It was my first time there and I had no clue where the exit was. I finally found it and we hid behind a huge bouncer - who was also super hot.

I asked him to keep the guy in the club while me and Sonia took off.

It was scary, but I had to jack off when I got home lol

[MrsKellyPierce]

Girl thats crazy when that happens! I've been in the same situation.

[slinky]

Girl thats crazy when that happens! I've been in the same situation.

Chasing girls around a club and then they hide behind a bouncer who keeps you in the club while they run away? or jerking off after coming home from a club?

[TS DANIELLE FOXXX]

Girl thats crazy when that happens! I've been in the same situation.

Did you have a wet dream? LOL jk

LOLOLOLOLOL

[needsum]

Cracker?!?!

R-A-C-I-S-T!!

:D

It was probably a typo you DUMASS :evil:


I get the impression that OZ was just making a joke . . . .

And DUMASS is actually spelled DUMBASS if you need to get technical. . .

[needsum]

OMG Danielle I just looked up at your avatar, and your ass is just so damn fine!!!!!!! Damnit I want to bite that thing!

[Lick UR Lovely]

At the doctors office :lol:

I agree! A few years ago I went to a DR in San Diego for lower back pain. He slipped a rubber glove on and told me to drop the underwear and lean over the table. I followed his orders and the next thing he had his finger up my ass! He was like twirling his finger in me for at least 2 minutes! I was embarressed because I got a hard-on and precummed all over the paper on the table. He did give me a bottle of 100 lortabs though. :D

[yodajazz]

I went to a huge straight club with my friend Sonia here in LA. We got free drinks and got a bit tipsy.

We meet this super hot army guy and start dancing with him. Sonia is facing him and I am grabbing him from behind. Sonia has on Jeans and I have on a mini. I do the reach around and grab his cock and start playing with it while Sonia is lip smakin'

He then proceeds to reach under my skirt and guess what????

He finds a super hard uncut anaconda cock!

I know it's cliche but true story.

He gets all freaked out and starts chasing us around the club. It was my first time there and I had no clue where the exit was. I finally found it and we hid behind a huge bouncer - who was also super hot.

I asked him to keep the guy in the club while me and Sonia took off.

It was scary, but I had to jack off when I got home lol

:shock: Funny story too. But t-girls are the only women I have seen to grab a guys junk at a club or in the street. Then they complain that the men only want one thing; when they were the first to go for the goods.



Girl thats crazy when that happens! I've been in the same situation.

Chasing girls around a club and then they hide behind a bouncer who keeps you in the club while they run away? or jerking off after coming home from a club?

Or getting a boner for a hot guy at a club? I thought the hormones cut down on that stuff.

[MrsKellyPierce]

Girl thats crazy when that happens! I've been in the same situation.

Did you have a wet dream? LOL jk

LOLOLOLOLOL haha no mine was with a girlfriend of mine (genetic girl) and a guy and he was dancing with us both and he stuck his hands in between my legs while we were all dancing and he obviously felt something, and he started yelling at my friend why she didn't say anything lol and then he gets all growly and he said I tell you what you both have 5 minutes to get out of here before I kick both of your asses lol

[tsluver247]

Right when the teacher tells you to solve a problem at the blackboard. I will take the F thank you. :lol:
Right before grandma wants a hug. :shock:

[uber_nerd]

bouncing a child on your leg :(

[goldensamba]

bouncing a child on your leg :(

That's very disturbing.....

[uber_nerd]

the title of the thread is "worst times to get a boner" and I could not think of a worse time in which to get a boner.



bouncing a child on your leg :(

That's very disturbing.....

[uber_nerd]

why the shit dont my quotes come out correctly

[southern81]

Getting kicked in the nuts

[Hara_Juku Tgirl]

While making out with a guy who didn't know (I didn't know he didn't know since I met him through a guy friend of mine who knew)!! lol

Thankfully though, the night didn't end abruptly after he found out! Hehe.. ;)

~Kisses.

HTG

[LTR_Seeker]

in supermarket when ultra hot lady comes by have to walk very slowly down the aisles lol

[Ozniak]

Cracker?!?!

R-A-C-I-S-T!!

:D

It was probably a typo you DUMASS :evil:

doy, hence my joking reply. crackwhore.

[MrsKellyPierce]

Cracker?!?!

R-A-C-I-S-T!!

:D

It was probably a typo you DUMASS :evil:

doy, hence my joking reply. crackwhore. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: you two cracker me up. Umm I can't think of a name to call.

[big_red3445]

When you gotta pee in the morning. Only thing i hate bout mornin wood...

LMAO i have to stand back like 6 feet to take a piss with morning wood

[feedme]

On a train, and your fast approaching your stop.
You desperately try to 'lose it' before you have to walk past all those people with their eyes at cock level.
I've had to take my jacket off and strategically hold it in front of me over my crotch to hide my stonker on numerous occasions.
There's something about trains, and buses, perhaps it's the vibration or something, I always get hard on them.
The beach can be embarrassing too, when you fall asleep lying flat on your back and wake up to find a tent in your trunks.

[DaLonelyGuyNJ]

Wearing a speedo

[Hara_Juku Tgirl]

Wearing a speedo

Speedo's are HOT! Though not much worn at all these days..except in Europe. :(

~Kisses.

HTG

[werwt22]

Car accident. girl in lower 20's got thrown out and was lying on the ground. i ran over to help and she had dd's exposed. then i backed off and let paramedics help but couldnt walk away...eyes just stayed locked on those big knocks

[voy4her]

when i was 13 i broke my leg and was on bedrest for months. there were compound fractures and plates and pins, it was a rough time.
Anyway, there were alot of sponge baths, and it was very hard to control, but i always managed. Then one day i was out of my gourd on roxxinol, which is some kind of synthetic morphine, and i was having a really intense dream, only to wake up to my grinning sister giving my raging hardon a sponge down.
She gave me 8 kinds of grief, and she told just about everyone under the sun, and the folks decided that she was not to bathe me anymore, even tho it was hardly my fault. Years later and its still embarrasing. The only plus side was her telling her friends how big i was and getting a lot of "hey big boy" comments. Could have been worse if id had a teeny peeny.
And no, while i can see that she is attractive, i never had the hots for her.

[NYBURBS]

After sex sucks... two streams = loss.

lol yea that sucks, struggling to get both of them on target haha

[youcancallmeclaire]

You mean there's a bad time? :D


bouncing a child on your leg :(

This would have been ten times less creepy if you had put a smiley face instead. The frown seems to imply that it has actually happened before.

[goldensamba]

You mean there's a bad time? :D


bouncing a child on your leg :(

This would have been ten times less creepy if you had put a smiley face instead. The frown seems to imply that it has actually happened before.

That's what I was thinking!!

[macfan]

Wearing a speedo

Speedo's are HOT! Though not much worn at all these days..except in Europe. :(

~Kisses.

HTG

and Brazil Hara, I love wearing Speedos. Nothing wrong with having a boner in one in my book, it does a great job of displaying the package :) the bigger issue might be needing a Swimmers body to pull it off and not embarrass oneself.

How about having a boner when a doctor is giving a prostate exam can't imagine that would be too kosher. Thankfully the human mind can blank out some things as exciting.

[will802]

at work right before having to give a presentation cuz the guy before you is boring and you start to daydream about Danielle's scene in transsexual babysitters !! :)

[allyscotsUK]

Dancing with your girlfriends mother.


Uncool.

[macfan]

Dancing with your girlfriends mother.


Uncool.

LMAO, yeah didn't think of that

[Gmanfromthechi]

I went to a really small religious grade school, and for some reason I would get hard in church at times. I wasn't horny, but u kno how those pre pube hormones are.

Ill second the "right b4 u gotta go to the blackboard" comment. I would always get hardons on class, and made a game of liftiing up my desk, with it, books and all inside. :-p

[flabbybody]

holding on as your buddy gives you a ride on the back of his bike

[InHouston]

One night I took my Catholic girlfriend (at the time) for midnight prayer because she missed mass ealier that day. I sat on the bench, and while she was kneeled down praying, I marveled at her beautiful curves and long hair from behind. She turned to me, kissed me sweetly on the cheek and thanked me for taking her to pray and that we could now go home. I walked down the isle, past Jesus and various statues of saints, and out of the chapel with one of the stiffest boners I ever had.

It was great!

[SarahG]

One night I took my Catholic girlfriend (at the time) for midnight prayer because she missed mass ealier that day. I sat on the bench, and while she was kneeled down praying, I marveled at her beautiful curves and long hair from behind. She turned to me, kissed me sweetly on the cheek and thanked me for taking her to pray and that we could now go home. I walked down the isle, past Jesus and various statues of saints, and out of the chapel with one of the stiffest boners I ever had.

It was great!

Which was it, she was your gf just at the time, or she was catholic just at the time? :lol:

[InHouston]

One night I took my Catholic girlfriend (at the time) for midnight prayer because she missed mass ealier that day. I sat on the bench, and while she was kneeled down praying, I marveled at her beautiful curves and long hair from behind. She turned to me, kissed me sweetly on the cheek and thanked me for taking her to pray and that we could now go home. I walked down the isle, past Jesus and various statues of saints, and out of the chapel with one of the stiffest boners I ever had.

It was great!

Which was it, she was your gf just at the time, or she was catholic just at the time? :lol:

Girlfriend.

[Takingbackme]

While taking a driving test and your boner is blocked from going up! You cant adjust or take your hand off the wheel!! Stupid hot instructor!

[BluegrassCat]

7th Inning Stretch

When you have to go #2

[tsluver247]

When you have a full bladder and really need to piss that it hurts.

[Buzz Killington]

When you walk sleepily downstairs only to find your 8 year old little sister is having a slumber party LOL

[Tiffany Anne]

Dancing with your girlfriends mother.
.

Or your own grandmother.

[uber_nerd]

You mean there's a bad time? :D


bouncing a child on your leg :(

This would have been ten times less creepy if you had put a smiley face instead. The frown seems to imply that it has actually happened before.

That's what I was thinking!!

i flipped a coin on the artificial facial expression.

and, no. it has never happened to me.

[blckhaze]

any boner not near a woman capable of enjoying properly is a wasted boner.

[ottorocket]

Getting a boner in a swimsuit at a public pool...that would be hard to explain away

[Tiffany Anne]

Getting a boner in a swimsuit at a public pool...that would be hard to explain away

Especially if it's not your swimsuit!

[TransformedBG]

I went to a huge straight club with my friend Sonia here in LA. We got free drinks and got a bit tipsy.

We meet this super hot army guy and start dancing with him. Sonia is facing him and I am grabbing him from behind. Sonia has on Jeans and I have on a mini. I do the reach around and grab his cock and start playing with it while Sonia is lip smakin'

He then proceeds to reach under my skirt and guess what????

He finds a super hard uncut anaconda cock!

I know it's cliche but true story.

...

Wish that would have been me! :(

but is now a bad time to say i got a boner? lol

[MrsKellyPierce]

rofl at some of these they had me smiling, some made me feel very umm disgusted like the bouncing a baby on your knee good LORD have Mercy lol

[mrbig]

Getting a boner in a swimsuit at a public pool...that would be hard to explain away

Heh heh, a safeguard at a public pool w/a boner (can you blame him, it's a hot chick :shock: ) :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OR8qVNnwDCs&feature=related

...and on the beach:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QrFiQgMhI_s&feature=related

(I can't believe so many women are actually touching his cock....horny lil bitches....)

P.S. Can somebody translate what the s-guard is saying in the first vid???

[TT BOY]

at a wedding , in the main wedding shot. yeah i
fancied the bridesmaid bigtime....no shit.

[Skwisgarr Skwigelf]

When the drill sargent screams in your face.

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!

[DeClock]

True Stroy, I was in a supermarket and I met Holly Hollywood (and damn she was looking sexy) I said hi and she stopped and said hi with a great smile. I got a hard on that would not go away and I had to leave the store and stop shopping.