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View Full Version : Confused, Scared, and desparate for answers



silkencock
07-30-2008, 01:47 AM
Okay, so here's the deal:

I am 19. I have been crossdressing since I was about 10, often stealing panties, bras, skirts, hose or stockings, blouses, etc from my sisters and mother. I don't think they knew, at least not until recently. I very much enjoy masturbation and sex when I am dressed up, but also love to just lounge around the house in a slip or skirt. I enjoy my cock when I am having sex (I am Bisexual), but my fantasies have ALWAYS revolved around being a girl and getting fucked like a girl, being submissive, etc.

As I said, until recently no one except a few very discreet partners knew of my interests. My family went away on vacation last month. I had to stay back because of work. They came home three days early. They (specifically my Mother and Father) caught me dressed up, in the kitchen, cooking myself dinner. My father flew into a rage, beat me up, and threw me out of the house. I am now staying with a close friend.

My parents approach to sex was always darkly colored by thier psycho-catholic upbringing, and they always treated it as something dirty. My mother would often embarrass me by asking the parish priest if I had been honest about masturbating while in confession. She often brought up these delicate subjects during dinner, furthering my humiliation and often bringing my father's wrath down on me. My sisters, while not immune to my parents' humiliation or shame, were NEVER subjected to this sort of thing, and often joined in the family in castigating me.
As a result, I grew up feeling very ashamed of myself, my sexuality, etc.

These feelings reveal themselves in my sex life and sexual fantasy. Along with very often fantasizing that I am a girl being fucked, the situation is often one in which I am being shamed or humiliated in front of others. I am being made to masturbate, made to take it in my pussy or ass, etc.

There is another aspect to my fantasy life that scares the hell out of me: These fantasies also often revolve around incest. Mind you, it is never my own family that I see in these fantasies (the very thought makes me want to puke), but rather a pornstar or model I will pick to be my "Mommy" or "Daddy" or "Sister" in my mind. Strangely enough, during these incest fantasies, when I am being humiliated or forced to do things, the perpetrator is always acting out of love and caring for me, UNLIKE my actual mother, who (I think) dirived satisfaction at my humiliation. I have created whole stories, scenarios, etc. along these lines. Often they are all fully clothed, and I am made to expose myself, to serve them, to be a sex slave in the house. When they are undressed, they are always, still, in a dominate position over me.

I don't know what to make of all this. I am afraid that I will never have a "normal" or satisfying sex life. I don't know if I should have been a girl or if I am just a kinky boy. I don't know how or why all this humiliation/shame has become so closely ties to my sexual identity, but I am afraid of embracing it. I am afraid it would basically mean I have seccomed to the very lessons my parents so wrongly and so diligently tried to impress upon me. I don't know where to turn or who to ask about all this. Therapy is expensive.

My question, after all that: Where do I go to find answers for myself?

And this: Is there a light at the end of the tunnel? Am I doomed to feel like a dirty, worthless whore?

chefmike
07-30-2008, 01:54 AM
Hondarobot, is that you?

Aurora
07-30-2008, 01:59 AM
Sounds like you need some "couch time". You aren't going to figure this out on a message board.

silkencock
07-30-2008, 02:05 AM
Sounds like you need some "couch time". You aren't going to figure this out on a message board.

No doubt. I am only looking for two things:

1. Some resources, connections, support, something

2. Solidarity? I dunno . . . Just to feel I'm not alone on this earth . . .

Aurora
07-30-2008, 02:17 AM
Sounds like you need some "couch time". You aren't going to figure this out on a message board.

No doubt. I am only looking for two things:

1. Some resources, connections, support, something

2. Solidarity? I dunno . . . Just to feel I'm not alone on this earth . . .

You're in San Diego. There are surely some sex therapists in your area, and even ones that specialize in TG/crossdressing related stuff.

I would say you're far from alone in this kind of stuff too, especially given the household you grew up in.

Oli
07-30-2008, 05:13 AM
God Damn kids of the Internet generation :smh :smh

Sorry, just had to say that. :google is your friend.

Try this:http://www.thecentersd.org/
(took a whopping .25 seconds)

Good luck

Wino the SuperHero
07-30-2008, 06:06 AM
Go to Tickle.com
it's free to sign up.
a lot of little tests to find out "who you are", "how to find your inner peace".

If people aren't willing to accept you for you...Fuck Em.
It's just that easy.
You gotta be happy, content and able to love your self Before anybody else will.

TomSelis
07-30-2008, 06:25 AM
Lot of issues here....

Legend
07-30-2008, 06:32 AM
Thats doesn't sound like your trying to find yourself as a person but more like your sick and twisted sexually fantasies.Also the fact they you know your parents approach to sex is f**king gross.

lumberjack
07-30-2008, 06:44 AM
Try sending a pm to justatransgirl. She's in San Diego, she's about as well adjusted as any of us, maybe she has advice or can lend a symphathetic ear. Good luck.

francisfkudrow
07-30-2008, 06:57 AM
Well, not to make light of your situation in any way, but I'd say just stay away from your family and try to relax a little. As for your "incest" fantasy, its common enough that its an option on the "scenes and play" section of user profiles on alt.com--listed as "parent/child"...



7. What type of roles have you played or would you be interested in exploring?
Boss/Secretary
Brother/Sister (or vice versa)
Cop/Prisoner
Doctor/Patient
Father, Mother/Nanny
Furry/furry
Hooker/John
Parent/Child
Married Spouse/maid, houseboy
Master/slave
Nurse/patient
Owner/pet
Priest/nun (or vice versa)
Priest, Priestess/worshipper
Rapist/victim
Teacher/student
Vampire/victim
Being someone new every night
I'm not into role-playing

Beagle
07-30-2008, 07:05 AM
1: You're 19, it's time to leave the house and get out on your own. Of course, now you have a head start here.

2: Focus on being self-sufficient.

3: Don't worry about what others might think of your sex fantasies. These are no one's business unless you want to share. Fantasies are just make-believe. If they rule your life or prevent you from doing those things you have to do, then you may have to seek help.

But, somehow I think if you work on 1 & 2 above, you'll be OK. Get out from under your parents control, get a job, go to school at night if you have to, get your own place, etc and you'll be OK. And, no, I don't think you automatically need a shrink.

Of course, that's just my opinion and I've never met you.

silkencock
07-30-2008, 06:23 PM
:oops: :oops: :oops:

This is what I get for getting drunk and then posting . . .

Okay, this is the deal: everything I said in my post is true, though perhaps not as dire or hopeless as I may have seemed in that first post. But . . . I was drinking, I was feeling angry & bitter and alone over all that has happened in the last two weeks . . . and instead of going to bed, I basically spilled my guts all over your board, here. Sorry 'bout that . . .

Those of you who have pointed out that the answers I am looking for (or at least sources to those answers) could easily be found on google are correct, and I knew that . . . just wasn't thinking very clearly, and having a bout of self-pity to boot . . .

Ah, hell . . . anyway, thank you for your answers, concern, etc. I'll try to stay away when i'm in a tizzy like yesterday . . .

Nowhere
07-30-2008, 06:26 PM
One word: Therapy.

You're not going to get your answers here, and if you truly are TS (which you're so mixed up I couldn't have the faintest idea if you were) it'll come out in therapy, too.

Asking questions in a porn/sex forum is not going to solve your problems.