I'm stumped!

[MrsKellyPierce]

I was offered a position with a friend who is a female to male, he called me up saying they are looking for a male to female transsexual with a psychology degree that can help lead him at the transgender groups. This of course sounded exciting to me. I did this while I lived in Florida, helping with the Westcare Group there. Getting speakers to come in and talk about voice and surgeries. I would teach how to do day face, but yet still cover the male appearance. We would go through walking demonstrations and feminine movements and techniques. It was a lot of fun for me and fulfilling knowing I was helping these girls to become more confident in their women hood.

I worked for a laser hair removal clinic/hormone clinic at the time and we even gave out prizes of free hair removal and free hormones. To help girls get jobs and look better. We would also call around to businesses helping the girls find jobs that help them find jobs that wouldn't discriminate against them.

HOWEVER that was before I did adult movies. I worry now I'll be looked at different. I know I shouldn't care, and I shouldn't be ashamed....when it comes down to it in a way I am. I am trying to help these girls stay positive, don't turn to sex work, and be ladies. I would feel like a hypocrite to say don't do it, and here I am working in the sex industry. I would love to take the job, its fun and fulfilling for me, but I don't want to be demeaned and feel like a hypocrite either.

What are some of the girls opinions that work in the adult industry. Do you see where I am coming from?

I don't think I can say, well I am doing adult work to pay for my transition, because thats what a girl says that escorts. And we always told them there are other ways. So not only will I look like a sell out through my whole activist work, they will see me as a bad person just by assumption.

Would I still be able to have the same attitude towards the girls and confidence as I did before? These are just my worries.

[flabbybody]

you're not unqualified to help transgenders because you work in the sex industry. just be honest with the financial realities that lead to your decision and your exit strategy when you've reach the goals you've set for yourself.
imho

[MrsKellyPierce]

you're not unqualified to help transgenders because you work in the sex industry. just be honest with the financial realities that lead to your decision and your exit strategy when you've reach the goals you've set for yourself.
imho I know, I am not unqualified, but what about perception and reputation?

[BabyFirefly42481]

you have come this far kelly and your still worried about others opinions of you......who cares what they think. i guess this is a problem we are gonna have for a long time. we want to be excepted to much....you did it ...you acomplished your goal. They have no place to judge or ridacule you on your methods. i mean its not like your the only thrans girl to enter the sex industry. I jus wish i had the confidence to do it myself. We know it is a man sexual fantasy to be with us. its all part of the trans girl life.

[hondarobot]

Just print out your original post, and if anyone gives you a problem about your adult work, give it to them to read. It's honest and straight forward.

It's also very long, so most people will leave you alone before you start handing them more pieces of paper to read.

:wink:

[MrsKellyPierce]

I see what you are saying girl and I want to stick to that attitude, but I see myself faultering from it.

Honda you gooseberry.

[the_corner]

you're not unqualified to help transgenders because you work in the sex industry. just be honest with the financial realities that lead to your decision and your exit strategy when you've reach the goals you've set for yourself.
imho

I don't get it.... how does working in the sex industry disqualifies you to help transgendered people?

Maybe I'm too much of a perv.... but the way I see it... working in the sex industry is just like any other job...

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/04/29/magazine/29kink.t.html

[MrsKellyPierce]

you're not unqualified to help transgenders because you work in the sex industry. just be honest with the financial realities that lead to your decision and your exit strategy when you've reach the goals you've set for yourself.
imho

I don't get it.... how does working in the sex industry disqualifies you to help transgendered people?

Maybe I'm too much of a perv.... but the way I see it... working in the sex industry is just like any other job...

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/04/29/magazine/29kink.t.html Honey he said, I am not unqualified. Meaning I am qualified. :P

[infinitim3569]

Hi Kelly, I'm so happy that you have this wonderful opportunity. They must think highly of you to offer you the job. I think you have the right to a private life and the choice is up to you to reveal as much or as little of this part of your life as you wish. The reality is that this is a public forum, as is the internet and your "secret", if you keep it a secret, may come out. If it does, you could talk meaningfully about the monetary difficulties that are involved in seeking to transgender, as well as the difficulty you had in deciding to take the job.

I believe you are a very giving person and helping other people would be very fufilling to you. Maybe you could take the job on a trial basis and see how you like it. Many things that are worthwhile in life involve some risk and change represents a certain level of risk. This is your decision and only you can ultimately decide if the risk is worth the reward to you. If you decide to go for it and it doesn't work out, then you will know. If you don't try then you will never know and may always wonder "what if".

By the way, I think you must have a wonderful personality. You never seem to take offense at anything people write to you and handle their comments with good humor. Sounds like excellent qualifications for that job. Good luck to you!

[dageekindapink]

do u really what honest opinions or do u simply want people to tell u that ur qualified and wont be viewed differently or shouldnt care?

well lets be honest, ur reputation precedes u, u made a calculated decision to be a sex worker and not work hard in other fields to cut corners and make ur transition easier...im not saying thats right or wrong, but thats the reality of it...if ur counseling is geared towards steering these girls away from the sex industry, then ur obviously not only not qualified but an insult to the position, to be instructing these girls..if however, the goal of ur counseling is to make these girls recognize the difficulties of being a trans gendered person in todays society and how sometimes people must take on occupations they may sometimes regret or make them feel shame, then ur a very capable and worthy candidate...be honest, as u seem to be and youlle make the right decision, although it seems u may not have always done that...its refreshing to hear a girl evaluate her life and not give us the im proud and my parents are proud of what i do routine...bullshit...

[MrsKellyPierce]

do u really what honest opinions or do u simply want people to tell u that ur qualified and wont be viewed differently or shouldnt care?

well lets be honest, ur reputation precedes u, u made a calculated decision to be a sex worker and not work hard in other fields to cut corners and make ur transition easier...im not saying thats right or wrong, but thats the reality of it...if ur counseling is geared towards steering these girls away from the sex industry, then ur obviously not only not qualified but an insult to the position, to be instructing these girls..if however, the goal of ur counseling is to make these girls recognize the difficulties of being a trans gendered person in todays society and how sometimes people must take on occupations they may sometimes regret or make them feel shame, then ur a very capable and worthy candidate...be honest, as u seem to be and youlle make the right decision, although it seems u may not have always done that...its refreshing to hear a girl evaluate her life and not give us the im proud and my parents are proud of what i do routine...bullshit... Thank you infitim Very good points!!

Now you, I understand what you are saying. Which is what I am in fear of in a lot of ways. However lets talk about the positives. Porn you are AIM tested before each movie, You are in a controlled environment, as a female performer you can call STOP at any time. Girls have a lot more power than they sometimes realize in the video sessions. Unlike escorting where if you are giving full service (sex, blow jobs) you don't know if the guy has been tested and vice versa. You don't know if the guy is a killer or a rapist. So I guess thats how I'd defend myself if it was brought up.

I am not saying you would have to agree or people will see it that way.

I am not proud that I have to do this. I wish I had the money to do my transition right now. However I will say I feel totally safe and comfortable during a porn movie. I will say I enjoy acting and interacting with the camera. I will say its another part of me I don't act out very often, but am allowed to with this. I will say I don't go out and have one night stands with men and/or loads of sex partners. I am in a relationship and unless I am doing a movie I don't sleep with other people.

But I realize the harshness of how its to be looked at.

And the program is more about finding alternatives for bad life choices and bettering their lives. Most girls are on drugs or drink excessively. Escort with out protection. I do not do drugs, I don't smoke, nor do I drink. If I do drink it's on a special occassion. So yes my job may be in the sex industry, but I am pretty moral grounded otherwise.

[dageekindapink]

well analyzed and interesting to read, for a change...ill be honest, theres many sides to u that are quite irritating, but its obvious ur genuinely a good person with issues, like the rest of us...u just like the spotlight and need some more stimulation and interaction than most people...but the bottom line, the answers lay within u and u just gave them...be honest, admit ur shortcomings and discuss ur choices in life and how they affected u positive or negative and youlle be rewarded with appreciation and admiration...just remember, while everyone likes to be heard and understood and even sympathized with, this is more about them than u...i would stress admission to making decisions you later regretted and show the error in some of ur ways...people luv to hear how imperfect other people are and how they can perhaps avoid pitfalls and feel they benefited greatly from u making ur mistakes so they dont have to make theirs...then again, what the hell do i know, i never learn till i get burnt;) good luck and ide not mention u dont drink...if theyre doin drugs at least let them relate to u...how the fuck in the year 2008 can u relate to a sober non smoking preaching clean gal in a relationship? big deal so u suck cock on camera;)

[peggygee]

I was just turning in for the night, so I will be brief.

I wll say that you do have a bit of a conundrum on your hands.

My take on it, is that this situation is similiar to ex-addicts,
ex-offenders, or ex-gangbangers who will work with and counsel
those populations.

Of course they understand their clients, and most likely will understand
what made some of the clients make the choices that they did.

The clients in turn will respect and trust their counselor because they can
'talk the talk, and have walked the walk'.

The key though is if the counselor is still doing dugs, committing crimes,
or gang-banging.

The client might say "Well you're doing it, why can't I".

Off course doing porn, or escorting aren't the same as the things listed
above, but to women who are already walking on the edge with drug
and alcohol use and abuse, they may not be capable of making the
right choices.

Knowing you from the various boards for quite a while, I do feel that your
heart is in the right place, and that you do have genuine empathy and
concern for these women.

However if you do take the job you make want to discuss this with your
director or supervisor, so that your clients don't stumble upon it, and feel
that their trust has been betrayed.

[TsVanessa69]

I was offered a position with a friend who is a female to male, he called me up saying they are looking for a male to female transsexual with a psychology degree that can help lead him at the transgender groups. This of course sounded exciting to me. I did this while I lived in Florida, helping with the Westcare Group there. Getting speakers to come in and talk about voice and surgeries. I would teach how to do day face, but yet still cover the male appearance. We would go through walking demonstrations and feminine movements and techniques. It was a lot of fun for me and fulfilling knowing I was helping these girls to become more confident in their women hood.

I worked for a laser hair removal clinic/hormone clinic at the time and we even gave out prizes of free hair removal and free hormones. To help girls get jobs and look better. We would also call around to businesses helping the girls find jobs that help them find jobs that wouldn't discriminate against them.

HOWEVER that was before I did adult movies. I worry now I'll be looked at different. I know I shouldn't care, and I shouldn't be ashamed....when it comes down to it in a way I am. I am trying to help these girls stay positive, don't turn to sex work, and be ladies. I would feel like a hypocrite to say don't do it, and here I am working in the sex industry. I would love to take the job, its fun and fulfilling for me, but I don't want to be demeaned and feel like a hypocrite either.

What are some of the girls opinions that work in the adult industry. Do you see where I am coming from?

I don't think I can say, well I am doing adult work to pay for my transition, because thats what a girl says that escorts. And we always told them there are other ways. So not only will I look like a sell out through my whole activist work, they will see me as a bad person just by assumption.

Would I still be able to have the same attitude towards the girls and confidence as I did before? These are just my worries.
I volunteer in Chicago at a few places, one straight, and the other gay and trans. We do what we have to do to survive. At the time you needed the money, you were offered a postion, and you took it. You made your money and got what you needed. As long as you are professional and reliable, what you did or do in your private time is your business. Here in Chicago, drag queens and ugly ts always call me a "working" girl, but I do what I do to survive and pay for transition. Its my business. When I am on stage in a club, or working with my trans youth group, I am always, professional, and reliable. Hold your head up high and present yourself to the world as the beautiful, multi-faceted woman that you are. Its so funny that I read this, as I am about to film a video for my Vlog about how girls who escort are looked at by even or own kind.
Keep your head up high sis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[TsVanessa69]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=knx7dcpNpLw

[MrsKellyPierce]

Wow great thoughts and advice.

Thanks Peggygee I actually just talked to them today, and they said they think it's great that I have the personal experience of what its like to have to take the low road to get to the high road. They also liked how I talked about the controlled environment and the AIM testing. They didn't realize that each actor was actively tested before each shoot.

Thank you Vanessa for your thoughts and ideas and issues to bring up if I do decide to do it. I am going to give it a few more days and decide. I don't want to drive these girls in the wrong decisions. I can only stand by that the decisions in my life have been right for me. I have been smart about it, and have gotten lucky.

I am lucky to have a boyfriend that supports me 100 percent too. I think the important thing is being happy with yourself and making sure you are aware of the consequences and the positives of your decision. If you can live with it, and its not going to haunt your dreams for the rest of your life. So I think thats what I'd preach to the girls, to make sure the decision you are making is a 100 % yours and noone elses. That at the end of the day you are ready for the consequences that come with it. At the end of the day you can be HAPPY.

I like what you said Vanessa about Acceptance over passability. Thats really what it should be about is accepting the man or woman you are and being acceptable as that in public and less as I am short, I am petite, I have small hands small feet and so on and so forth or I have more 'body' than you do.

I think if you can walk down the street everyday without any HAZARD is passable in my book. Because you are acting the way any other woman would act. You aren't putting out signals. Most of the time a transsexual is 'clocked and brings more attention to themselves, when they hold their head down in public, and act like its unnatural for them to even be there. People pick up on that vibe and it tends to make them look.

Kisses again for all the advice.

[theremin]

Given:
a. the importance of gender to establishing a large part of one's role in society
b. the prejudice (still) that greets people who are brave enough to challenge ("transgress") these norms by seeking to transform their birth gender so that it matches their psychic gender

I would say that it is almost inevitable that anyone who is brave enough to embark upon the feminisationist journey is going to be forced - if only by circumstance - to support themselves within the sex industry.

This is a sad reflection on the craven, insecure society which we inhabit, and should not be seen as reflecting badly upon the people who have found it necessary to embark upon this journey. For it is a difficult journey and perilous, threatened on all side by the fear and ignorance of the majority.

Therefore I say to you that the fact that the social and cultural mores that have been imposed upon you have put you in a situation where you have been obliged to earn your living in a way that is looked down upon by this same socio-cultural imperium does not reflect ill upon you but upon our society; and that therefore you ought - in theory - to be able to discuss this freely with those whom you wish to help, and explain to them the reasons and causes and pitfalls of your previous life choices.

I hope you are able (if you choose) to express youself to your clients more cogently and coherently than this - I blame the red wine

[theremin]

... and following on..

things are improving to some extent legislation and a gradual liberalisation are helping to ameliorate the situation to the extent that large companies are actively seeking to be as "gender blind" as possible.

so this raises the point that where you were unfortunate enough to have to kick against the pricks of a society that just didn't want to accept or understand you, now, thanks in part to your pioneering efforts, the fortunate (?) tg s of today have many more opportunities than were afforded you. It is not your fault that you have een obliged to earn your liiving in this way: it is all that society left you