HIV question for both the men and girls

[bigcat1]

I have been talking to a beautiful t-girl for the past couple of weeks, we havent been intimate yet, and she has recently revealed to me she is HIV pos. And now Im confused should I take the chance of dating her and engage in safer sex but not completely safe sex, she is mostly a top by the way, so the risk for me would be increased if i was bottoming for her even if she wore a rubber, what do you think has anyone ever dating a pos person before, did it scare you, Im curious to get answers from both the guys and girls.

[62des]

Call me an asshole but I'd never date a HIV positive person I just wouldn't risk it. I wouldn't date them because I wouldn't want to get involved. Sure I'd happily befriend them but that's all. I put health before everything but my close family's health and love wouldn't get in the way of that. Plus, I wouldnt want to have safe sex all my life.

[peggygee]

We've had quite a few discussion on HIV and the transgendered, some
more productive than others.

Here are a few, the first may be particularly useful:

He's positive, I'm negative

http://www.hungangels.com/board/viewtopic.php?t=17373&highlight=hiv

The second one is also very informative:

http://www.hungangels.com/board/viewtopic.php?t=18919&highlight=hiv

Feel free to peruse these others at your leisure:

http://www.hungangels.com/board/viewtopic.php?t=17679&highlight=hiv

http://www.hungangels.com/board/viewtopic.php?t=24703&highlight=hiv

http://www.hungangels.com/board/viewtopic.php?t=12280&highlight=hiv

http://www.hungangels.com/board/viewtopic.php?t=11559&highlight=hiv

http://www.hungangels.com/board/viewtopic.php?t=28252&highlight=hiv

[BeardedOne]

I have been talking to a beautiful t-girl for the past couple of weeks, we havent been intimate yet, and she has recently revealed to me she is HIV pos. And now Im confused should I take the chance of dating her and engage in safer sex but not completely safe sex, she is mostly a top by the way, so the risk for me would be increased if i was bottoming for her even if she wore a rubber, what do you think has anyone ever dating a pos person before, did it scare you, Im curious to get answers from both the guys and girls.

Yah, it scares me, always has. But I was also scared when someone pointed a loaded Uzi at my head, and when I had a .45 shoved up my nose, and a .44 waved in my face.

Yet I am still here to tell the tale.

I had a male lover that was HIV+ when we met (Shame that, as he contracted the bug when he was 16 - We met just after his 18th birthday), yet we played safe and he continues (Thank gawd for modern medical science) to cause trouble more than fifteen years later (And I, knock pressboard, am still negative).

If you are just playfriends, it's not such a big deal if you use your head (The upper one) and play safe. But it is true that for sex to truly be safe, they must invent a condom for the heart. :cry:

Besides myself, I've known other couples that were +/- and they never had issues (Beyond the obvious) so long as they played safe.

Rubbers and lube are your friends, always, but it is not unknown for friends to stab you in the back when you least expect it. Rubbers break, shit happens (Especially with anal sex :wink: ).

That you are even asking this question (Especially in this closeted, cockhound, ass-humping venue) shows that you have a modicum of reason somewhere betwixt the big and little head.

Best of luck to you both and I hope that you have found, in each other, the one that you seek.

[BeardedOne]

Call me an asshole but I'd never date a HIV positive person I just wouldn't risk it. I wouldn't date them because I wouldn't want to get involved. Sure I'd happily befriend them but that's all. I put health before everything but my close family's health and love wouldn't get in the way of that. Plus, I wouldnt want to have safe sex all my life.

You're an asshole.

There, I said it.

But I can understand your reasoning. Personally, my dick doesn't work in a raincoat, so it tweaks the safe-sex mantra.


I wouldn't date them because I wouldn't want to get involved.

Yah, I can sorely relate to that. :( Aside form the fact that I've seen too many lovers and friends die from that shit, I have enough grief with the basic he-said-she-said bullshit to deal with anything deeper.

Anyone here a fan of the Showtime series Queer As Folk?

In one episode, the primary character, Michael, is in intimate relations with his new lover (Who is HIV+) and he gets up and goes to the bathroom. At one point, he opens the medicine cabinet and sees row upon row upon row of prescription meds. The look on his face as he realizes the depth of the relationship he is in brought me to tears. :cry:

Dude, this isn't about sex, this is about commitment. If you can't play with this gurl beyond the first date, then you need to do her the courtesy of telling her why. And kudos to her for being as honest with you as she was (Something that should in some way, be rewarded as it is so rare).

Elsewise, best of luck to you both.

[private1i]

I dont post much on here but I am in the opposite side of this, I myself am HIV+, taking atripla (one pill a day) and am healthy as a horse. No one can tell me where I contracted the disease as I had all previous playmates (was only 2 of them at the time) test and they were all neg. I have never done any drugs, no tattoos, no surgery etc, I go down the list every month with my doc. My Girlfriend (genetic) is neg, she knows I am pos and has no problem with it what so ever. My viral load is undetectable ATM thanks to my meds. I have told everyone I have ever been with before we had relations about my condition and so far to this date none have ever had a problem with it. I was diagnosed 8 years ago and am going strong.

[BeardedOne]

Kudos to you, private1i! It is no longer the 'death sentence' that it once was but it is still feared by the mainstream. I have, sadly, had friends pass because of this, yet still have friends to this day because of their own will to live and the advances of medical research.

Play safe, live long.

[mimiplastique]

I have been talking to a beautiful t-girl for the past couple of weeks, we havent been intimate yet, and she has recently revealed to me she is HIV pos. And now Im confused should I take the chance of dating her and engage in safer sex but not completely safe sex, she is mostly a top by the way, so the risk for me would be increased if i was bottoming for her even if she wore a rubber, what do you think has anyone ever dating a pos person before, did it scare you, Im curious to get answers from both the guys and girls.


My personal opinion would be to treat her as you always have and continue to be with her ....

Funny how this is hitting everyones home .... i had a "friend " diagnosed with virus and we never had sex but had come close once or twice . He was always so hesitant about it and then it hit me like a ton of bricks ... he was very close to me untill he did something to cross me ... but i was willing to accept the fact that he had the virus and be with him regardless ... my friends thought it was crazy but then i asked them what if it were you??? I still love him so much and wish things were not the way they were ... but he did cross me and lied so i had to leave him completely alone ... had nothing to do with the hiv though .... :cry:

[BeardedOne]

Thanx for your post Mimi.

It comes down to a lot of interpersonal relationship things and then the HIV tweaks it some more. Such a tough call. I've been fortunate that the people I've known with HIV (Four male and one female) have been honest with me about their status. A couple of male lovers I suspected never revealed it to me, but it naturally came out after their passing. :cry:

I deal with people as people. Every little tweak or nuance contributing to how I spend time with them or not.

[mimiplastique]

Thanx for your post Mimi.

It comes down to a lot of interpersonal relationship things and then the HIV tweaks it some more. Such a tough call. I've been fortunate that the people I've known with HIV (Four male and one female) have been honest with me about their status. A couple of male lovers I suspected never revealed it to me, but it naturally came out after their passing. :cry:

I deal with people as people. Every little tweak or nuance contributing to how I spend time with them or not.


PLEASE DON'T BE MAD AND IF IT IS TOO PERSONAL DON'T AWNSER BUT I AM CONFUSED ... ARE YOU HIV POSITIVE ???

[Coroner]

Don´t play with fire, man. You should support her as a friend instead of fucking her. This has nothing to do with being an asshole.