An Irish Blessing / Happy Saint Patrick's Day

[Oli]

My friends, a very Happy Saint Patrick's Day to all.

I wish you not
a path devoid of clouds,
Nor a life
on a bed of roses,
Not that you
might never need regret,
Nor that you
should never feel pain.

No, that is not my wish for you.

My wish for you is:

That you might be brave
in times of trial,
When others lay crosses on your shoulders,
When mountains must be climbed
And chasms are to be crossed;

When Hope scarce can shine through.

That every gift God gave you
might grow along with you,

And let you give the gift of joy to all those who care for you.

That you may always have a friend
who is worthy of that name.

Whom you can trust,
Who helps you in times of sadness,

Who will defy the storms of life at your side.

One more wish I have for you:

That in every hour of Joy and Pain
You will feel God close to you.

This is my wish for you,
and all those who care for you.

This is my hope for you,
now and forever.

[NYCe]

McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, he started to leave.

"S'cuse me," said a customer, who was puzzled over what McQuillan had done. "What was that all about?"

"Nothing," he replied, "my wife just sent me out for a jar of olives."

[Steve-Oh]

Thanks for the nice thoughts there, Oli.

I only have 2 words:

PISS DRUNK!!! :claps

[BottomBoySlave]

Happy Saint Patty's Day!!

Did St. Patrick have SRS?

FYI, "Patty" is a woman's name.
"Paddy" is short for Patrick.

[dreamer]

serioiusly --what IS St. Patrick's Day a celebration of? --or who? ----Who was St. Patrick ---and what did he do?? ---

[2754tim]

St. Patrick Drove The Snakes Out Of Ireland,That's What The Nuns Told Us
Anyway.I'm Sure He Had A Few In Him While He Did It.

[hotc69]

http://www.flagsrus.org/images/e/e15090.jpg



I would like to wish each and every one of you a "Happy Saint Patrick's Day!" Hope you all are wearing green, having corn beef and green cabbage. May you all find a pot of gold and meet a leprechaun. I know a lot of you will be going to parties and drinking all that green beer, have a good time. Just remember not to drink and drive. May the luck of the Irish be with you! :D



http://www.saintpatricksday-holiday.com/images/leprechaun.party.jpg

[TsJennifer]

Happy St Patty's Day Everyone! Im heading out with my man now to a PUB! PARTY TIME!!! :peanutbutter

[spooker609]

serioiusly --what IS St. Patrick's Day a celebration of? --or who? ----Who was St. Patrick ---and what did he do?? ---
I just watched a program on the History Channel, according to them, there never were any snakes in Ireland.
He introduced christianity to Ireland, is the originator of the Celtic cross the circle behind the cross represents the sun. Pretty interesting program, they also detailed the prejudice the Irish suffered in the early days of the US.

[2754tim]

An Irish Blessing

May the road rise to meet you,

May the wind always be at your back

May the sun shine warm upon your face,the rains fall soft upon your fields and,

until we meet again may God hold you in the palm of His Hand

[ezed]

An Irish Daughter had not been home for over 5 years.

Upon her return, her father cussed her, "Where have ye been all this time?
Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old mum through?"

The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff .... dad .... I became a prostitute”

"Ye what??!! Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this family."

"OK, dad .... as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten-bedroom mansion, plus a savings certificate for $5 million. For me little brother, this gold Rolex. And for ye, daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside, plus a membership in the country club..." ... (takes a breath) ... "and an invitation for ye all to spend New Year's Eve on board me new yacht in the Riviera, and ...."

"Now what was it ye said ye had become?" says dad.

Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff .... a prostitute, dad! .... sniff, sniff."

"Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant. Come here and give yer old man a hug!"

**********
Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, "Father, my dog is dead. Could ya' be saying' a mass for the poor creature?"
Father Patrick replied, "I'm afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something for the creature."
Muldoon said, "I'll go right away Father. Do ya 'think $5,000 is enough to donate to them for the service?"
Father Patrick exclaimed, "Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn't ya tell me the dog was Catholic?"

***********
Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp. "What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender.
"Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy.
"That little shit, O'Conner," says Sean, "He couldn't do that to you, he must have had something in his hand."
"That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it."
"Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself, didn't you have something in your hand?"
That I did," said Paddy. "Mrs. O'Conner's breast, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight."

***********
An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over.
"So," says the cop to the driver, where have ya been?"
"Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurs the drunk.
"Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening."
"I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.
"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"
"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."

********
Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door. "Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin' to tell ya".
"Of ! course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But where's my husband?"
"That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda." There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery..."
"Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me."
"I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry.
Finally, she looked up at Tim. "How did it happen, Tim?"
"It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and drowned."
"Oh my dear Jesus! ! But you must tell me true, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?"
"Well, Brenda... no. In fact, he got out three times to pee."


HAPPY BELATED ST. PATRICK'S DAY!!!!!!!

[BottomBoySlave]

Happy St Patty's Day Everyone! Im heading out with my man now to a PUB! PARTY TIME!!! :peanutbutter



Happy Saint Patty's Day!!

Did St. Patrick have SRS?

FYI, "Patty" is a woman's name.
"Paddy" is short for Patrick.

[undiscovered_soul]

Dhia dúit, a charra, (hello my friends)
jaysus, it paddies day not pattys day!! patty is a womans name ie patty and selma from the simpsons!! sorry but that bugs the shite outta me!!
oh and one other thing corn beef and cabbage??? come on!! its bacon and cabbage!!
anyhow a belated "Lá 'le Pádraig"

ps. love the jokes by the way keep them comming!!