The Worst Blowjob you ever had?!?

[JohnnyWalkerBlackLabel]

Interested in knowing the worst blowjob you ever had.
Feel free to give details.
If it brings up any nightmares later on when you go to sleep I apologize.

I'll go 1st..........................

Right out of training in the USAF, really hot chick and I flirted heavily and she had braces.................. She tried but when she got the condom stuck in her teeth the mood was gone.................

[strokeitnow]

Sounds like a bummer JWBL but for the record I would like to state that even a bad blow job is a good thing.

Mine was a chick I went out with a couple of times in college, her problem was that she thought my cock had to be sucked hard like a baby gnawing on a pacifier. I tried to get her to loosen her lips a bit but she just could not bring her self to do it. By the time I shot my load my cock felt like it had been drug behind a pickup on a gravel road...

[4ever_ngt]

Mine happened wit som random chic I met at a bar up in San Jose..who just could not get da job done...I finally told her to just stop & that I would finish my self off..& which time she proceeded to tear up and tell me that she could do it, that she was determined to make me cum...But I said it was cool & wacked myself to a happy ending in under 2 min flat..what pissed me off about it was that I had eatin her out for like an hour & half while she came over & over and it turns out she sucks at givin head...no pun intended

[Arc-Angel]

The one i never got .

[mimiplastique]

there was a really fine papi that came over when i stayed at norbits house .... well my computer was in the room and it must have gone to sleep or some shit . Well i had it set to show pictures when it was off too long and when i tell you that that bitchies picture poped up naked smiling and waving at the cam i lost all feeling for poor sabastian and told him to stop
and to make it worse i could not perform on him either it was a really fucked up night ... i wlll never forget it because his dick was so hard for me ...
i wonder how it would have gone if he would have seen the pic .... he probably would have punched me in the face .

[RawNY]

It was in college. I dated a girl who lived with her grandmother, who was stone cold deaf.
We would wait for her to go to sleep and make out.
Finally, it got to the point where I was sitting on the couch and she took my pants down and took my tool in her hands. After she got it pointin up, she put her mouth on it and just kept boping up and down, in and out of the mouth, nothing else. I finally had to explain to he rthat , althought it was called a blow job, she had to suck it not blow on it.

[trapmasta]

The one i never got .

[anonymoussonny]

I was being blown by a really fine 'cock-eyed' girl. She had a small mouth however and could not manage my girth with her lips. Unfortunately she kept trying so terribly that her teeth became involved and scared me for life! (wince) I was so disgusted I went and begged up my ex-girlfriend for a good blowjob & some pussy!

[Fox]

Mine was in college. I was at this chick's apartment and she was blowing me with her teeth. When I told her, she said something like "Why does it matter, you should be happy you're getting a blowjob." So I took her index finger in my mouth, sucked it and grated it with my teeth so she could get the idea. I thought she did, but...

It still wasn't a toothless session. :(

[JANIRA]

It was this gentlemen who came to see me in Nyc 1998,, he was like i hope you like being given oral....." which i adore"!.. he continued to brag while i got ready, about how great his "SKILLS & TATICS" are well aside from the generous gift he handed me i was like " HELL YOU CAN'T EVER GO WRONG WITH GIVING ME A GENEROUS GIFT AND SOME BOMB ASS HEAD!!!....RIGHT?................................. ..............WRONG!!!!..... as soon a he shoved my dick into his mouth ,,, he took a bite out of it!!!!... i guess he thought i was the owl in the tootsie pop commercial and he wanted to get to the chewy center............NOT!



I DECKED HIS ASS SO HARD N THE FACE ... HE GAGGED,,,,,HE WAS LIKE : BUT I WAS JUST GETTING STARTED I WAS LIKE MOTHER FUCKER ANYMORE AND YOU WOULD'VE LEFT MY ASS POST -OP.!


NOW WHEN THEY GIVE ME HEAD, IM SOOO PARANOID ...LOLL. :?

[lupinIII]

I'm sorry Janira, that must have been horrible for you but I'm laughing so goddamn hard right now it's hard for me not to fall off my chair. Hi -fucking- larious. When I'm not laughing my ass off at the sexual ineptitude of that boy I almost feel sorry for you.

[Jasadin]

I once meet this around the way girl which a few of my fellow co workers knew. I would say once of twice I gave her a ride just because I liked watching her ass in motion as she walked away.Well one day she knocked on my door and I took off the dress and heels I was wearing and closed my Hungangels tab before letting her in. So she's sitting down playing on my computer just looking so good or maybe I was was horny?
Now usually I wouldn't mess with a girl who knows who I know because I'm afraid it'll get around that I've got a small penis and/or my other extra curricular activities and I just can't handle that tidbit of info being public knowledge but today I'm reckless.
So anyway she's on my computer and I approach from the back kissing her neck trying to get something started. Next my pants are down and she is not really blowing me. She's holding my cock like a flute and nibbling on it like corn on the cob. After a minute of awkward silence I realize "no thank you " but I didn't say that....I was thinking it.
She gets up and goes to the bathroom. I'm thinking the vajay option is available. After a few minutes of waiting I hear this extremely loud cough long winded cough. I say are you ok and I bust into a cloud of second hand crack smoke. I kick her out and try to ventilate the whole apartment but the damage has been done. I don't feel right. I got my first and only hit of secondhand crack.I was up for 48 hour straight. So what was really got blown the worst :?: my cock or my brain :?

[bigfreddy]

Not the most uncommon thing, I guess, but I had a drunk girl vomit all over me about 5 minutes in. As I was hammered also, it was not a good thing to see. She started crying and apologizing and I was cool with it, but the mood was obviously ruined. Fortunately, we were at her apartment so I was able to shower up with her and as she sobered up it got better :D

[littlenookie]

I hooked up with this girl and she pulls my pants down and says she's gonna "Rock My World." She barely puts any of my cock in her mouth, like just past the head. And it's not like I'm huge or anything so it shouldn't have been a problem for her. She only blows me for like a minute or two then starts hand-jobbing me. To make it worse she was pulling on my cock like she was trying to rip out some weeds in a garden, it hurt like hell. So after a couple of minutes of that I told her she could stop.

Some birthday present huh!!!

[francisfkudrow]

Well, my worst blowjob was still OK.

The problem was similar to the one Janira had--someone who was overconfident. This girl asked me if I had ever been blown by a girl with a tongue piercing, and was talking about how amazing it will feel. Then she starts to blow me and isn't terribly good. The tongue piercing didn't really add anything to the experience, and she couldn't get me off.

[Intrepid]

Same as bigfreddy. She was drunk, I wasn't so drunk. We'd gone to White Castle before hand 'cause she wanted to eat something to counteract some of the alcohol. We were in the back seat of my Dad's car. I was in high school. I'll never forget it.

[DJ_Asia]

Mine was made worse by the circumstances involved and how utterly amazing it could have been.

My ex-wife's best friend was a Playboy Playmate,Simone Eden (do a Google) who called us from San Diego one night crying about a fight she had w/ her b/f,and could she come up to LA and stay with us.So we agrred,and she made the drive up.My ex was hot..Simone was HOTTER...just stunning!...anyways...

After calming her down and relaxing awhile,my ex and I head to bed and Simone stays up to watch tv.....this is where it begins to sound like Penthouse Forum....

I start fucking my ex and after awhile i hear a noise behind me and I look and there's Simone,standing in the doorway,watching us fuck.Ex gets up and goes and talks to simone who has had a couple glasses of wine and is feeling it.The 2 of them turn to me and say "Simone has never given a blowjob before...and she wants me to teach her how" Now im thinking to myself how can a Playboy Playmate gone thru life w/o sucking a few cocks along the way?! Well always one to help out a friend in need :twisted: I agreed and I layed back for what I thought would be an experience for the ages...and it was,but for the wrong reasons!

Simone thought a blowjob was where you literally blow on a penis...so thats what she did...blew on my cock,and when my ex tried to correct her,Simone just giggled and began blowing again.This went on for 15 minutes or so,and knowing that I had a half drunk big titted blonde Playmate lodged between my legs,I was growing impatient w/ this not so fun anymore "blowjob"....

Anyways long story short...the blowjob was so awful,the giggling was so annoying that after awhile I told my ex to get her outta the room so that I could get a real blowjob.....sad but true.

[HP1000]

I've never had anyone that could get me off orally to this day. I think I have a high tolerance to oral. I'd almost put up a Help Wanted Sign that reads:

Girl that gets me off orally gets a $500 bonus for making me un-load :D

[the1phinneas]

Thankfully I've only been involved in one excruciating incident... I was 21 and had just started dating this 28 yo cutie. I had brought some wine over, and we were almost through the bottle when she pushed me onto the bed and got busy. It was going very well, and she could definitely suck a dick. She took a momentary break, and came back with a mouthfull of wine, which at the time sounded intriguing. Until when mid-mouthfull I made some witty observation, which caused her to laugh so hard, she literally "blew" wine down into my cock.

My dick felt like I shoved it into lava... Screaming, hopping, shaking (both involuntary and voluntary), and rinsing were all in vain: the wine went deep, and continued to burn for a good 10–15 minutes. She was quite apologetic, and while it was partially my fault for being a smart-ass, she made it up to me when I was able to resume. Don't try this one at home kids, alcohol and oral sex don't always mix!

—Phinn

[gravis722]

Mine was in high school.

It was both of our first time.

She openned her mouth and blew air all over my penis.

it was awful.

I was so horrified that I did not speak of it for years.

[JohnnyWalkerBlackLabel]

bump because this can't ONLY be 2 pages

[HP1000]

There isn't a woman alive that can make me cum orally!

[tsntx]

I've never had anyone that could get me off orally to this day. I think I have a high tolerance to oral. I'd almost put up a Help Wanted Sign that reads:

Girl that gets me off orally gets a $500 bonus for making me un-load :D

i can easily win this

let me know when u cum to tx

:wink:

[HP1000]

[quote=HP1000]I've never had anyone that could get me off orally to this day. I think I have a high tolerance to oral. I'd almost put up a Help Wanted Sign that reads:

Girl that gets me off orally gets a $500 bonus for making me un-load :D

i can easily win this

let me know when u cum to tx


TSNTX do you take credit cards? I have to have a lot of friction on my cock. And yes I find you attractive baby.

[blckhaze]

worst was when I was 20. black GG. Teeth. she broke the skin. ugh........



It takes a special BJ for me to cum, but good head is great foreplay.

[tsntx]

TSNTX do you take credit cards? I have to have a lot of friction on my cock. And yes I find you attractive baby.

doesnt everyone?

i willl say this....

ive heard from lots of guys including a bf that they could never get off from oral

ive just never seen this problem first hand

u figure it out ;)

[lofty2020]

is there such a thing as a BAD blowjob? omg.. any contact is good contact lol :))

[goldensamba]

is there such a thing as a BAD blowjob? omg.. any contact is good contact lol :))

Yes there is! Teeth = Terrible

[xxxian]

My ex-wife. she refused to do it except for once and i never asked for it from her again.

Xian

[az357mag]

ex girlfriend. she used teeth i told her it wasn't corn on the cob she got mad and told me it wasnt easy lol

[redtiger]

Once had a hooker from the Mustang Ranch just outside Reno give me the suck 'n fuck routine. She was a very pretty Asian gal with long, sexy, jet black hair and a great body.

But all she was interested in giving the fastest bj in history...which hurt like hell and practically ruined the whole situation. You'd think a hooker could do better, but I guess not.

[tsntx]

Once had a hooker from the Mustang Ranch just outside Reno give me the suck 'n fuck routine. She was a very pretty Asian gal with long, sexy, jet black hair and a great body.

But all she was interested in giving the fastest bj in history...which hurt like hell and practically ruined the whole situation. You'd think a hooker could do better, but I guess not.

no id think she had better things to do

like make more easy money

stop her in her tracks and say "i no pay for rhitty rervice. do it right ms. swan or youll be telling the cops 'he lookah likah man' when im done"

[JohnnyWalkerBlackLabel]

Once had a hooker from the Mustang Ranch just outside Reno give me the suck 'n fuck routine. She was a very pretty Asian gal with long, sexy, jet black hair and a great body.

But all she was interested in giving the fastest bj in history...which hurt like hell and practically ruined the whole situation. You'd think a hooker could do better, but I guess not.

no id think she had better things to do

like make more easy money

stop her in her tracks and say "i no pay for rhitty rervice. do it right ms. swan or youll be telling the cops 'he lookah likah man' when im done"

yeah you know what thread this is going in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[tsntx]

Once had a hooker from the Mustang Ranch just outside Reno give me the suck 'n fuck routine. She was a very pretty Asian gal with long, sexy, jet black hair and a great body.

But all she was interested in giving the fastest bj in history...which hurt like hell and practically ruined the whole situation. You'd think a hooker could do better, but I guess not.

no id think she had better things to do

like make more easy money

stop her in her tracks and say "i no pay for rhitty rervice. do it right ms. swan or youll be telling the cops 'he lookah likah man' when im done"

yeah you know what thread this is going in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


stick w/ me kiddo i say quotable shit all day long

[qeuqheeg222]

too many to mention from both gg and tg....

[nohj68]

I actually can't remember a bad blowjob. It's like the old Woody Allen joke where the girl says she finally had an orgasm but it was the wrong kind, and he goes his are all the right kinds, even the bad ones were right on.

[Mr_Choc69]

It was this gentlemen who came to see me in Nyc 1998,, he was like i hope you like being given oral....." which i adore"!.. he continued to brag while i got ready, about how great his "SKILLS & TATICS" are well aside from the generous gift he handed me i was like " HELL YOU CAN'T EVER GO WRONG WITH GIVING ME A GENEROUS GIFT AND SOME BOMB ASS HEAD!!!....RIGHT?................................. ..............WRONG!!!!..... as soon a he shoved my dick into his mouth ,,, he took a bite out of it!!!!... i guess he thought i was the owl in the tootsie pop commercial and he wanted to get to the chewy center............NOT!



I DECKED HIS ASS SO HARD N THE FACE ... HE GAGGED,,,,,HE WAS LIKE : BUT I WAS JUST GETTING STARTED I WAS LIKE MOTHER FUCKER ANYMORE AND YOU WOULD'VE LEFT MY ASS POST -OP.!


NOW WHEN THEY GIVE ME HEAD, IM SOOO PARANOID ...LOLL. :?


LOL DAMN

[DL_NL]

Well, there was this girl who couldn't make me cum no matter what she tried. Never had this problem with others and to the day I still don't know why...

[artemis2085]

I've never had anyone that could get me off orally to this day. I think I have a high tolerance to oral. I'd almost put up a Help Wanted Sign that reads:

Girl that gets me off orally gets a $500 bonus for making me un-load :D

i can easily win this

let me know when u cum to tx

:wink:

I actually have to second this. While oral is fun, its never done the job for me...