MrsKellyPierce
01-21-2008, 11:15 PM
I was impressed by this email, but you didn't say who you were? You are obviously from Hung Angels.
Dear Kelly,
I know this letter is going to unexpected and out of the ordinary, but I feel that I owe it to myself, but more importantly you, to write it. Initially I was just going to wait until tomorrow to talk to you about this, but I really want to get these feelings out while they are fresh in my mind. If my treatment for alcoholism has taught me anything so far, it’s that I have to be honest to myself, others, and God. I’ve been doing a lot of self inventory lately, and this topic seemed most pressing in my mind tonight. From my AA meetings, I have heard many alcoholics tell their stories in an attempt to help me in changing my ways. They have been one of the most affective parts in my recovery to this point. After hearing you talk tonight online, I feel I have also reach a great self realization. I know most of this might seem odd, given that we’ve only known each other for a couple days, but like I’ve told you before, I feel a strong connection to you for some reason.
Most of what I want to tell you is a confession and an attempt at amends. I guess I’ll start with the confession. Over the past few years, I developed an attraction, or fetish, for transsexuals. I’ve had many other fetishes that turn me on, so I’m not trying to single you out or anything. I feel absolutely awful for not being able to control my sexual urges. I am pretty lonely most of the time, so I satisfy most of these urges by myself. If you know what I mean. The worst part of all of this is that I targeted you as an outlet for an urge. Fortunately, never once did I do anything disrespectful at your expense. Since I got onto myspace, and actually been able to meet real transsexuals, I’ve gotten turned on by talking to them while looking at pictures. Before this week, I just viewed pictures or movies without a live person. Ok, now I’ll talk about what really changed me tonight. When I first added you as my friend, it was because of what you are, and not who you are. If you looked at my list of friends, you’ll notice that ninety percent of them are transsexuals. That’s the pure proof that I was interested in the body, and not the soul. My total perspective, not just on transsexuals, but also on all women changed after I meet you.
When we first started talking, you asked me if I would ever consider dating a transsexual, and what I told you was the truth. However, I was attracted to your body without ever considering the person inside. Looking back now though, it would have been a very difficult decision for me to cross that bridge and be with a girl like you, given my mind set at that time. Now I feel like you have opened my eyes not only about sex, but also about life in general. I started to feel a change soon after we met. There was just something different about you that I could not put my finger on. I was able to talk to you like I’d known you for years. I told you things that I haven’t even been able to opened up to my best friend about. Who, by the way, is also my twin brother. Why I felt I could confide in you I still do not know. Maybe I felt that you would not pass judgment on me no matter what I said, and accept me for who I am.
Hearing you talk tonight completely humbled me. To learn of your convictions and strength. Listening to you talk about how it’s not a sexual thing at all, rather an emotion inside you, totally changed my perspective. I am guilty of being influenced by propaganda in the media and porn industry. Despite that, I still take full responsibility for all of my thoughts and actions. Then, hearing you talk about meeting people off the net, and the fact that you said I was a nice guy, you made my heart skip a beat. However, the fact that I new you were a ts when we met might make you seem skeptical about all of this. My feelings about you changed soon after I met you, but I never thought I might act on them. Now I see what a truly beautiful person you are, both inside and out. The true essence of a person is planted deep in their heart and soul, and is not merely physical. I know that in the long run, I probably would not have caused you much harm, but I would not feel right as a person and recovering alcoholic if I didn’t open up to you.
I’ve hurt so many people in the past, girls especially, that I forced myself to tell you this to prevent future damage. After getting to know you, I can’t believe how awesome of a person you are. I have a problem of not caring about other’s feelings. The old me would not have cared one bit about who you really are inside. I see now how wrong that is. My intentions online were solely self serving, until now. After learning more about you, I feel extreme remorse. I know we’ve never met face to face, but hearing the discussion that took place tonight, I feel it necessary to put my emotions on the table. Nothing about me is fake, and I’ve always been honest with you. You are so incredibly sweet, caring, and intelligent, and I am guilty of applying stereotypes prior to truly getting to know you. That really makes me feel like a horrible person. I no longer view you as a girl who used to be a guy, rather I see you as a pure hearted woman who had to climb a mountain to become the person you are today. The fact that you’ve been able to stay true to yourself, without compromise, is a real inspiration to me.
I’m sorry if this caught you off guard, or if I’m making a big deal about something that might seem miniscule, but I feel a responsibility to do this. Through my therapy, I’m not just trying to stop drinking, but also clean up every aspect of my life. I know I’m nowhere near complete; I’m just trying to take it one step at a time. Every voice in my head tells me to leave it alone and not write you this, but my heart tells me different. Why do I even care so much? I really don’t know, I just hope it will help me overcome some obstacles. I guess what I’m trying to say is that this letter is just as much for me as it is for you. At any other point in my life, I really wouldn’t have cared at all, but I do now. I realize that alcoholism is a spiritual illness, so therefore I’m trying to mend my soul.
Well I’ll wrap this up, sorry if I’m rambling; I haven’t slept in two days. I just want you to know that I am truly sorry for everything I’ve done, and also what I would have done if I didn’t come to this realization. I hope we can remain friends because I really do enjoy talking to you, and would like to get to know you better. However, if you think I’m a nut job and a loser, I’ll totally understand. I’m really not trying to scare you off by telling you all this stuff; I’m just trying to talk about my feelings, instead of bottling them up all the time.
Sincerely,
your admirer
Dear Kelly,
I know this letter is going to unexpected and out of the ordinary, but I feel that I owe it to myself, but more importantly you, to write it. Initially I was just going to wait until tomorrow to talk to you about this, but I really want to get these feelings out while they are fresh in my mind. If my treatment for alcoholism has taught me anything so far, it’s that I have to be honest to myself, others, and God. I’ve been doing a lot of self inventory lately, and this topic seemed most pressing in my mind tonight. From my AA meetings, I have heard many alcoholics tell their stories in an attempt to help me in changing my ways. They have been one of the most affective parts in my recovery to this point. After hearing you talk tonight online, I feel I have also reach a great self realization. I know most of this might seem odd, given that we’ve only known each other for a couple days, but like I’ve told you before, I feel a strong connection to you for some reason.
Most of what I want to tell you is a confession and an attempt at amends. I guess I’ll start with the confession. Over the past few years, I developed an attraction, or fetish, for transsexuals. I’ve had many other fetishes that turn me on, so I’m not trying to single you out or anything. I feel absolutely awful for not being able to control my sexual urges. I am pretty lonely most of the time, so I satisfy most of these urges by myself. If you know what I mean. The worst part of all of this is that I targeted you as an outlet for an urge. Fortunately, never once did I do anything disrespectful at your expense. Since I got onto myspace, and actually been able to meet real transsexuals, I’ve gotten turned on by talking to them while looking at pictures. Before this week, I just viewed pictures or movies without a live person. Ok, now I’ll talk about what really changed me tonight. When I first added you as my friend, it was because of what you are, and not who you are. If you looked at my list of friends, you’ll notice that ninety percent of them are transsexuals. That’s the pure proof that I was interested in the body, and not the soul. My total perspective, not just on transsexuals, but also on all women changed after I meet you.
When we first started talking, you asked me if I would ever consider dating a transsexual, and what I told you was the truth. However, I was attracted to your body without ever considering the person inside. Looking back now though, it would have been a very difficult decision for me to cross that bridge and be with a girl like you, given my mind set at that time. Now I feel like you have opened my eyes not only about sex, but also about life in general. I started to feel a change soon after we met. There was just something different about you that I could not put my finger on. I was able to talk to you like I’d known you for years. I told you things that I haven’t even been able to opened up to my best friend about. Who, by the way, is also my twin brother. Why I felt I could confide in you I still do not know. Maybe I felt that you would not pass judgment on me no matter what I said, and accept me for who I am.
Hearing you talk tonight completely humbled me. To learn of your convictions and strength. Listening to you talk about how it’s not a sexual thing at all, rather an emotion inside you, totally changed my perspective. I am guilty of being influenced by propaganda in the media and porn industry. Despite that, I still take full responsibility for all of my thoughts and actions. Then, hearing you talk about meeting people off the net, and the fact that you said I was a nice guy, you made my heart skip a beat. However, the fact that I new you were a ts when we met might make you seem skeptical about all of this. My feelings about you changed soon after I met you, but I never thought I might act on them. Now I see what a truly beautiful person you are, both inside and out. The true essence of a person is planted deep in their heart and soul, and is not merely physical. I know that in the long run, I probably would not have caused you much harm, but I would not feel right as a person and recovering alcoholic if I didn’t open up to you.
I’ve hurt so many people in the past, girls especially, that I forced myself to tell you this to prevent future damage. After getting to know you, I can’t believe how awesome of a person you are. I have a problem of not caring about other’s feelings. The old me would not have cared one bit about who you really are inside. I see now how wrong that is. My intentions online were solely self serving, until now. After learning more about you, I feel extreme remorse. I know we’ve never met face to face, but hearing the discussion that took place tonight, I feel it necessary to put my emotions on the table. Nothing about me is fake, and I’ve always been honest with you. You are so incredibly sweet, caring, and intelligent, and I am guilty of applying stereotypes prior to truly getting to know you. That really makes me feel like a horrible person. I no longer view you as a girl who used to be a guy, rather I see you as a pure hearted woman who had to climb a mountain to become the person you are today. The fact that you’ve been able to stay true to yourself, without compromise, is a real inspiration to me.
I’m sorry if this caught you off guard, or if I’m making a big deal about something that might seem miniscule, but I feel a responsibility to do this. Through my therapy, I’m not just trying to stop drinking, but also clean up every aspect of my life. I know I’m nowhere near complete; I’m just trying to take it one step at a time. Every voice in my head tells me to leave it alone and not write you this, but my heart tells me different. Why do I even care so much? I really don’t know, I just hope it will help me overcome some obstacles. I guess what I’m trying to say is that this letter is just as much for me as it is for you. At any other point in my life, I really wouldn’t have cared at all, but I do now. I realize that alcoholism is a spiritual illness, so therefore I’m trying to mend my soul.
Well I’ll wrap this up, sorry if I’m rambling; I haven’t slept in two days. I just want you to know that I am truly sorry for everything I’ve done, and also what I would have done if I didn’t come to this realization. I hope we can remain friends because I really do enjoy talking to you, and would like to get to know you better. However, if you think I’m a nut job and a loser, I’ll totally understand. I’m really not trying to scare you off by telling you all this stuff; I’m just trying to talk about my feelings, instead of bottling them up all the time.
Sincerely,
your admirer