"Why couldn't you just be gay?"

[tgirlzoe]

So over Christmas, seeing my family for the first time in nearly three years due to a falling-out caused by my transition, that cliche phrase was uttered by my mom on behalf of my dad. My dad never has dealt with me being trans over the past six years since I "came out". Even though he refused to deal with me liking boys before transition, he apparently had told my mom that it would have been easier for him to deal with that that than "losing his son" altogether.

What makes people think that transsexuality and homosexuality are that closely related? Yes, I like men but there's way more to transition than getting to date straight men (and being considered normal for doing so). I like being treated like a woman in the arms of a real man but if I never got to touch a man again, I would still be a woman.

I have dealt, and still deal, with severe depression brought on by body dysphoria. Hormones are not just to soften my skin, they keep me from feeling so much pain. I know I need more but my doctor won't prescribe enough so I have to obtain supplements when I can. I know my body, I know who I am.

I'm sorry if people think I don't act like a "real woman", I am just me and this is my life. If I was biologically female, people wouldn't question my interests or behavior as not being feminine enough. I used to be more feminine, but I'm settling into a comfortable androgyny and I'm happy that way.

I'm just trying to survive. My mom worries about violence against gay and trans people. I told her that I get treated better now than before, as a feminine gay boy, especially because most people don't know I'm trans. Anyway, I'm much more of a danger to myself without transition. I may not be perfectly "passable" but at least I don't look entirely like a guy!

Nobody asks straight people why they are straight, nobody asks GGs why they see themselves as women, things just are! How the hell should I know why I feel the way I do?

I can't choose to be a gay man as a compromise, sorry! That's just not who I am.

[Hara_Juku Tgirl]

Zoe, you are what you are! You just need to be happy with it or else suffer the same faith many sisters went through (some even committing suicide). Just take your time and I'm pretty sure things will fall in the right places. Talk your feelings out with friends and or a family member who understands. Support system is crucial at this point in time so never surround yourself with negative people for they will pull you down and lead you to self destruction.

God Bless and goodluck sweety.

;)

~Kisses.

HTG

[Star]

You tell them Zoe!

Always be true to yourself.

[ottorocket]

Some people can't handle the "Matrix" of life as they know it...all they know is what society has told them is correct and acceptable.

[tgirlzoe]

It amazes me how many guys on here don't get it either. I guess there's a disconnect between reality and fantasy. Yes, we are girls with penises but we didn't appear from nothing ~ people tried to force us to be boys growing up.

Something to remember if any of you guys are interested in actually dating a tgirl instead of just looking at porn or pay-to-play, is that we're often deeply emotionally disturbed because of what we had to go through and we are covered in scars, some with wounds more open than others. It's not an easy path to date a TS, be careful but good luck!

[MrsKellyPierce]

It's a lot harder for parents, because they think they are losing their child whatever sex they were born as. They just need to be reassured you are still you, just your phsyical appearance is changing.

[macfan]

As a guy I can summarize what you ladies are saying in that for the parents they have the memories of you as an infant tied to their memories, "oh its a girl, or a boy" recollection when they saw you and held you. This obviously is transfixed in their minds and they don't know how to handle it when you show the early signs of being a different gender.

They may believe that they had a son, you of course know differently in your own mind what your emotions are Zoe. As you said you just feel the way you do and know what is right for you.

It is part of this construct that is attractive for me when it comes to TG ladies, the idea of wanting to be femme and embracing it, to love a strong man embracing you in his arms and loving you for the woman that you are is what I find appealing about the ladies, in other words simply being a woman :) I'm sure a lot of girls may come with emotional baggage in life history but treat her with respect and its a starting point in any relationship.

[El Nino]

Most parents suck...

[trish]

my dad never got over it. he's embarrassed for me and sorely disappointed in me. my mom told me he used to cry whenever they discussed my transition. they used to fight too.

it wasn't easy for my mother to accept either. we had long wet heart to hearts where she would try to understand what i was feeling and try to coax me out of it. it was my mother who kept insisting i might just try being gay. as if! and then if i didn't like being gay, maybe then i could "go further"!!!

my sister was easy with it and i adore her for, among other things, helping survive life at home.

[peggygee]

As Mother and daughter, my Mother and I are extremely close.

This was far from the case when I was in that 'other gender'.

She is my best friend, my confidante, as well as being my Mom.

At any rate, one time several years ago she said to me, "of all the
choices that you could have made gender or sexuality wise, I'm
happy that you chose to go the full route to SRS".

On this:


I like being treated like a woman in the arms of a real man but if I never got to touch a man again, I would still be a woman.



I love men as much as the next woman, but my transitioning was never
driven purely by the goal of being more desireable to men.

I transitioned because it was who I was, and becuse it was the right thing
for me.

I'm a woman, with or without the attention or adulation of men.

Though it is nice when they're sweating you. :wink:

[BrendaQG]

Zoe sometimes families suck. I feel where you are coming from. Having lived as a transwoman, then mostly gay man, now as a transwoman again I know from experience that "compromise" does not work. It could only leave you feeling cheated out of time in your life, and other consequences.

Sexuality and gender identity are totally separate things...they can and do influence one another in various ways but they are not "the same".

As for people who talk smack about your interest. Just tell them to fuck off.