Fellas: Out of curiosity

[JohnnyWalkerBlackLabel]

How many of you guys have people in your life that seem to only contact you when they 'need' something.

They won't contact you to see how you are doing.
They won't answer your call if you try to contact them.
They won't respond to your IM's.

For those of you that do have people like this in your life my question is: why?

I mean you're a tool to them, many of you just a financial tool. So what's the sense in even acknowledging their existence?!?

this is not primarily a TS question, this is a question in general, just trying to see where some of you guys will go with your answer............

[hondarobot]

It's a gender thing. You'll never understand many things.

Weird, eh?

[JohnnyWalkerBlackLabel]

It's a gender thing. You'll never understand many things.

Weird, eh?

can you elaborate on that Honda?

[Ecstatic]

Oh yeah, I have "friends" like that. Tell me, what have I done for you lately? :twisted:

[hondarobot]

No, I don't think I could. Honestly I can't explain it. I'm not being a smart ass, either. I can't elaborate on that subject via text or other means, and otherwise I'm pretty good at that sort of thing.

That's the weird part. I do see where that would a legitimate question, though.

[Oli]

Oh yeah, I have "friends" like that. Tell me, what have I done for you lately? :twisted:

I hear you Ecstatic...I have a few 'friends' of that stripe left...been pruning them off over the last few years. Nothing drastic, no 'fuck you' from my end, but you do get to hear a laundry list of your purported shortcomings as a person and 'friend' when you do it, generally ending with a 'fuck off'. I haven't felt guilty about doing it yet, and don't think I ever will.

[JohnnyWalkerBlackLabel]

no I never thought you were being a smart ass at all, I really wanted to see what you were saying

I think many of us are surrounded by folks like this but don't kick them to the curb like we should

[BobbiBliss]

I have a couple of friends that are like that. We aren´t close at all and they are all girls actually (i´m a man, sort of). And I´m such a wimp and help them out 99% of the times. :oops:

Does anyone have male "friends" that act like that?

[peggygee]

I've got friends and family like that.

I'll often try to help them out, and then
they'll take my kindness for weakness,
then they get

http://i92.photobucket.com/albums/l2/magi43/tothecurblogo3x3.jpg

[hondarobot]

no I never thought you were being a smart ass at all, I really wanted to see what you were saying

I think many of us are surrounded by folks like this but don't kick them to the curb like we should

It's a defense tactic, but it's more complicated then that. No girl will ever fully explain this to you, that's part of the defense system.

[blckhaze]

I do my best to weed those people out, but they do occasionally show their faces. Happens an dyou show thme the door.

[redtiger]

I once had a female friend back in Michigan who did that to me. She was Chinese and was a really nice girl. But eventhough we lived close by each other and attended the same college I rarely heard from her.

Then one day, after having moved to the Chicago area I received a letter from her. To make a long story short, she said she would be passing thru Chicago on her way back from Iowa and wanted to know if it would be okay if she spent the night at my place.

I was so pissed off because I felt like she was so shallow for asking me if it was okay to spend the night and yet when I knew her in Michigan she practically ignored me.

I didn't even bother to reply to her letter. I'm sure she got the message!

[sugdaddie69]

Family,and i do it because i love them,despite them

[Quinn]

How many of you guys have people in your life that seem to only contact you when they 'need' something.

They won't contact you to see how you are doing.
They won't answer your call if you try to contact them.
They won't respond to your IM's.

For those of you that do have people like this in your life my question is: why?

I mean you're a tool to them, many of you just a financial tool. So what's the sense in even acknowledging their existence?!?

this is not primarily a TS question, this is a question in general, just trying to see where some of you guys will go with your answer............

There used to be people like this in my life, but I've cut most of them out years ago, the last being my mother. You can't choose your family, but you can choose your friends (who are, to me, what a family should be).

-Quinn

[hwbs]

i believe i made a thread about this not too long ago ...

[CORVETTEDUDE]

I do have acquaintances that are examples of that. I don't call them friends, that is a term I use extremely sparingly. I can count my "friends" on one hand. I don't tolerate that crap so, to many people, I'm a Dick. Works just fine for me...they always want, I call them 'mooches' but, they're going to be busy should you need them and they damn sure aren't inviting you over for Thanksgiving Dinner.

[vegasboy]

I've had friends that I've been willing to help. But pretty soon when the balance turns, and you find you're helping them out more than they're willing to help you, the friendship falls apart. People who won't contact you except for favors aren't worth keeping around because they have no self-respect and no sense of loyalty. The type of person who can ask for favors constantly and feel like they're an entitlement is the type of person you don't need in a real crisis. Self-serving pieces of shit.

[BeardedOne]

Most all of the people I've known in the past are like this, hence my hermitism. My current financial woes are a result of my kind-hearted nature in trying to help people who, clearly, could not help themselves (And have little intention of paying back loans or favors).

People suck. It's universal. :roll:

[brickcitybrother]

Their called family most of the time.

I put up with them because they are family and I was raised to look past their faults.

I also try my best to give out some though love. Nevertheless, I'm compelled to do what I do because their family.

[Realgirls4me]

Many of the experiences here mirror similar people and/or incidents in my life. I think we all have people in our lives that unknowingly (I'd hate to think that ANYONE would do it purposely?) abuse our respective well of generosity and kind aid too many times, but I also think that there are those few who conveniently have a built-in amnesia or filters when it comes to reciprocating favors, or just treat any favor or request as if one was pulling their teeth and simply don't come through. It's inconsiderate and selfish in many cases. Let me add that to the best of my memory, that not since college, when I would call someone to fill me in on the class I missed or to borrow their notes, do I need any "major" favors from anyone. That is, when it was a "life or death" situation at play and I really needed another to come through for me.

This year was kind of a breakaway -- epiphany -- year in my life with people who are like that. It took me a long time but I finally came around to saying "Enough with that shit!", and I don't care what anyone thinks of me for turning a new leaf on that front. Why waste time wondering about the acts of inconsiderate, flaky people?

Examples?

Here's a frequent one: I loan my vehicle (Btw, I have never borrowed a person's vehicle -- too much responsibility if something should go wrong, etc) to people often who don't even bother to put gas in it upon returning it. I've actually received it near empty after I've left it to them with three-quarters of a tank in it. If it were me in their shoes, not only would I bring it back topped off for not just the gas I used, and for its usage (wear, tear, and inconveniencing the owner), but I'd be insisting they not forget that I owe them one. There's a lot of risk going on when a non-owner is driving your vehicle, and no one is going to treat your vehicle as you do -- do they know a suspension and how it handles a dip as the owners does? Are they the type that allow the doors to completely swing out ? Etc? We're not talking borrowing a pencil here, folks. Basic consideration would be not to ask to borrow a person's vehicle in the first place, but if one must, at least bring it back with a full tank, particularly with today's gas prices, and if the person disrupted the owner's day, which was most likely the case ... Yeah, I was just wondering this morning who I could loan my truck to today?.

I don't know where this would fall on the civil, appreciative, or consideration front, but where I work affords me wearing many hats, among them, a trainer/problem-solver. I get a little perturb when so many it seems who once worked there return to visit their friends and yet can't take a second to say "Hello", often while I'm in their sights. Did I not teach you the do's and don'ts of your job? Did I not get you over humps frequently? Did I not teach you shortcuts? Did I not get you out of jams? Did we not share many laughs while you were employed here? Do you think it was always easy covering for your mistakes? ... Maybe it's me, but I highly value and appreciate those who have assisted me currently and have made my job easier, and I still seek and visit many fellow workers from previous jobs of long ago simply because of their friendship and assisting me then whenever they could. ...I still look up old college professors for what they left me with. How can others take one for granted like that? Maybe they just viewed me as a fixture at the workplace and one to take for granted? I don't know. How much does it cost one to say a simple, "Hello, how are you doing? Thanks for making my job easier while I was here,... " etc.

And don't get me going on those "friends" or family who never return calls or messages. It's not only rude but also very inconsiderate. Life is just wa-a-a-a-ay too fuckin' short to waste on people who seemingly place one on the same level as that of a telemarketer. Fuck 'em. Fuck 'em all! :)


... If one can count one's good genuine friendships on half a hand, one is indeed wealthy on that front and really has all he/she needs. Fuck the rest of the phonies.