Do all men Cheat?

[yodajazz]

A recent thread about one subject turned into something else. It turned into a ‘men are cheaters’, bashing thread. Plus there was a lot of mistrust, expressed by the girls of each other. But there was only one side of the story. I’ve been married for twenty one years. Things have not been great for a while but there were many good years. She did some things right to pick and keep her man and she also had qualities that made me want to have a life with her for so long.

I want to quote and discuss some issues brought up in the other thread. I am not saying that I am better that anyone. I love and respect you all and I want to give the benefit of my hard earned experience. I am starting with Julie first.




Awhile ago I dated this guy, he was beyond hot. We were only together for 3 months. One night I had to go pick something up at a bar where trannys hung-out. I was standing at the bar with him and this queen standing next to him started to dance, trying to get his attention. I played it no never-mind until she gave him the look, the look like she wanted to play. I though "she has some nerve, especially right in-front of me". I whispered in his ear "point at her and laugh", and that's exactly what he did. She got all pissed off and walked away. It was hysterical.

Then the demise of our relationship was when he slept with my best GG friend, lol.

It starts with your first sentence. You picked the wrong guy. A man being “beyond hot” comes with a lot of baggage. Sounds like many many women would want him and he probably had many before he met you. Apparently your gg girlfriend wanted him. "Hot" usually means looks, not character. My wife calls me her “diamond in the rough.” I didn’t have that much experience even at thirty, and wasn’t the greatest dresser, etc.

Too many women are looking at a 22 year old’s six pack stomach and not enough at his mind. At that age their brain has not reached full maturity. How can they be expected to fully commit to a relationship and they don’t even know themselves? I don’t know how old Julie’s man was, but I’m just saying generally. Their relationship with their friends and family can sometimes give clues as to how loyal they are.

The other part of the post had to do with another woman coming on to him at a club. I understand your feelings of being disrespected. But the other side of that is to let a man handle is business. He came with you. He was leaving with you. Too many times a woman will be all up on her man marking her territory and him as her possession. I say give him some space so he will think he is choosing to be with you because of who you are. Not because you were able to keep any woman from speaking to him. Attention from another woman will just make him feel better about himself and he’ll take you home and you’ll get the benefits in bed. Jealousy shows insecurity. But if you confident enough, you can let a man be himself. The only exceptions are those immature one and the players. That’s why you need to get to know what’s going on with them first.

I’m stopping for now, but I plan to bring up some things that other women said in that thread about cheating men and other women. Plus I would like to get to the one thing my wife said that helped keep me faithful for years. Later.

[mbf]

I would like to add a few things.

Of course, many men cheat, but with other woman mostly who VERY WELL know what they are doing.

About the reasons I can only speculate, but it´s probably a power-trip: namely to show you are able to steal away a man from another woman. But at the same time such a behaviour is also showing a lack of self-esteem.

Another factor might be sexual frustration and boredom for both parties.

Then, from personal experience, I know of a case of a woman to have slept with a man in a powerful position jobwise, for personal gains, which worked out in the end. This was "cheating" in the technical sense, but seemed to me more like a business-transaction of some sort.

And then there is this - uncomprehensible for me - set-up where we have an older man and a young mistress. Could anyone enlighten me about that?

[TsJennifer]

Sadly I would have to say yes, I think all men cheat! I wish it wasnt this way!

Oddly I met one guy that so far hasn't and Im glad I met him! Ill keep you guys posted on this one...lol

Jennifer Paris

[yodajazz]

Sadly I would have to say yes, I think all men cheat! I wish it wasnt this way! ...
Jennifer Paris

I say they all don't but that depends on what you consider cheating. (See below)


I would like to add a few things.

Of course, many men cheat, but with other woman mostly who VERY WELL know what they are doing....

Then, from personal experience, I know of a case of a woman to have slept with a man in a powerful position jobwise, for personal gains, which worked out in the end. This was "cheating" in the technical sense, but seemed to me more like a business-transaction of some sort.

And then there is this - uncomprehensible for me - set-up where we have an older man and a young mistress. Could anyone enlighten me about that?

A young woman approached me at work out of the blue, saying she wanted to give me a lap dance and do other things. I felt flattered because she was 18 years younger than me. I mostly ended up giving her rides and buying her lunch. I did see her in lingerie once or twice, but we never had sex. So I don't consider that cheating. Later she did ask me to come over and have sex with her, but I was busy that night and turned her down. In 21 years, I have not had sexual intercourse with another person, besides my wife, but she considers corresponding with a woman to be cheating, as well a spending time on this board sometimes.

I use Bill Clinton's definiton, since he was President.

[hwbs]

i don't cheat...but if i am cheated on , i am not one of those suckers trying to work it out..

[LTR_Seeker]

there is men out there very sparse thought that wont eve stray but thier not hunks with hard bodies that wan t trophy women o show off but in reality think your cheap slut or somethin to just degrade

[ptyseminole]

Yes, all men cheat....at one time or another we all do.

[62des]

Just like all girls cheat. But technically I don't cheat on girls, I just date multiple women when there's no relationship established. No commitment means no way to cheat because I'm sure the girls I date still talk to other dudes.

[kaiser1one]

Men and Women both cheat.

I think Maury has just pushed the idea that guys cheat more often than women.

[62des]

Like hell! LMFAO What about the episodes when there's like 11 dudes tested and they still haven't found the father. lol But women do cheat just as much if not more. Just because "you don't cheat" who are you to point the finger at someone else and say the whole group cheats. I think 90% of all epople cheated sometime in their lives.

[JohnnyWalkerBlackLabel]

yes all men cheat, and here's another tidbit of info 'ALL WOMEN CHEAT'

you rarely hear about women cheating because they are smart with what they do and how they go about it.................

Men will fuck a chick, come home and do stupid shit, like
leave an extra condom in their slacks/jeans
leave their cellphone unlocked so anyone can just walk up and check text messages or past calls


Women are the BEST at hiding shit, and by this I mean they are INCREDIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!

A woman will never get caught because when they cheat it is well thought out, the plan has been in their heads for a matter of days in most cases. Women are better at running all kinds of scenarios through their heads to see what could go wrong and how to prevent it. Men have the same qualities, we are just lazy in enforcing them

[MrsKellyPierce]

yes all men cheat, and here's another tidbit of info 'ALL WOMEN CHEAT'

you rarely hear about women cheating because they are smart with what they do and how they go about it.................

Men will fuck a chick, come home and do stupid shit, like
leave an extra condom in their slacks/jeans
leave their cellphone unlocked so anyone can just walk up and check text messages or past calls

I'll add more later leave it to you, mister smarty pants!

[gunn]

i only do it in my mind.

[BottomBoySlave]

It's only cheating if you have vaginal sex with someone.

Anal is perfectly alright! :lol:

[chops]

Yes we do, but so do you!

Cheating is boring, loving is harder and requires more effort.

If you love yourself then you will know who to love, who to trust and who to cheat with!

[yodajazz]

This is from the other thread that morphed into a discussion about cheating.




Oh Julie that really sucks!~ i do know the same feeling~ my ex did sleep with a gg behind my back and not communicating with me. since i am very open with him about everything. its just sad that someone has to lie in a relationship with someone sooooooo open and good understanding ability

I was out out of town when it happened. I called up my friend while I was away and about a minute into the conversation I just had this feeling and I said "why is my boyfriend over your house". She almost hit the floor. She said I was being crazy, then when I got back home he told me that yes he was there.

Olivia I say once a cheat then always a cheat. Look at it as a gain not a loss. You were able to see what kind of person he really was, and now your available for that perfect person to come into your life.


i agree with u Julie Once a Cheater will always be a cheater... he was out with our friends (i couldnt go cuz i had to work). Our friend told me the truth( had pics of him with her) so i confronted him about it . he gagged and literally lied to me by denying etc til i caught them at his job place with her in car with him... imagine the feeling after being with him for 9 yrs and the sacrafices i made for him. boy was i pissed and hurt! at least i found the strength to walk out with no money and made it thru... it was really tough start..i am grateful for the friends i made thru the ordeals. Ya know the trust isnt always 100 percent even with friends.. so i am cautious

After reading this I had some thoughts about the subject. I wanted to say that I am truly sorry for the pain she felt, however sometimes people find ways to work through the situation. As it turned out MSN had an article today about people who forgave cheating mates and their reasons.

http://msn.match.com/msn/article.aspx?articleid=8988&TrackingID=516311&BannerID=544657&menuid=6&GT1=10678

Another thing, is I don’t believe that once a cheat always a cheat. In some cases, yes. But each case is different. In my case, even though we didn’t have sex, I was doing a lot things for her like picking up take out for her and her kids. Then I would go home and have to do the same for my family. I got tired and realized that it was making life too complicated. So I gave it and have not done anything like that since. That’s been over ten years ago.

A lighter way of looking at it, is that some people who catch their mates cheating can take and run. They use the other person’s guilt to their advantage and that’s a big advantage. For some it would be like winning the grand showcase on The Price Is Right.
If I were to catch my wife cheating, I could turn it into 3-5 years of special treatment and good times for me. I saw a phone number some man had written on the dresser and I never said anything about it. I can always dream.
I'm having my friends help me bring stuff into the house, and she lying on the couch with her nightgown on. But nothings working so far.

[eggbert]

I look at this on a biological level. One of the main functions of males of most species (mammals) includes impregnating the female. He is equipped to impregnate as many as he can find. The female, on the other hand, has the one egg, and once the deed's been done, she has no more use for intercourse. So biologically, men have been programmed for multiple partners whereas women have not. So in order not to cheat, men have to make an intellectual decision that goes against their biological makeup. It's not quite as hard for women.

[Ecstatic]

I don't cheat. My wife knows all about my outside women (or as much as she wants to know).

[trish]

...has the one egg, and once the deed's been done, she has no more use for intercourse.

given your handle eggbert you should know better. most mammalian females have a lifetime's supply :) on the other hand i don't have any :cry:
but i still see the need for intercourse :wink:

[eggbert]

Not true, thus the dreaded menstrual cycle. When not in heat, most mammalian females want nothing to do with sex.

[JohnnyWalkerBlackLabel]

dude how are you in the tri-state area and NOT know of any fucking milfs jumping on the pool boy, mailman, plumber, and construction workers dicks weekly?

they've all had kids, and they are horny as fuck because the once 6 packed owning dude they married got an Archie Bunker belly and a bald head and sits on the couch all day watching tv instead of hitting the gym, staying in shape and slaying his wife's ass on the regular.............

[MrsKellyPierce]

The Best Lyrics for this

I don't know who you think I am (4x)

You been gone since three thirty
And coming home lately at three thirty
I'm super cool
I've been a fool
But now I'm hot
And baby you gon' get it
Now I ain't tripping (ha)
I ain't twisted (ha)
I ain't demented (ha)
Well just a lil bit (ha)
I'm kicking ass
I'm taking names
I'm on flame
Don't come home babe

I'm breaking dishes,
Up in here
All Night (uh-huh)
I ain't go stop until I see police lights (uh-huh)
I'm a fight a man tonight
I'm a fight a man tonight
I'm a fight a man
A man, a man, a m-a-n
A man, a man, a m-a-n

I'm still waiting
Come through the door
I'm killing time
You know bleaching your clothes
I'm roasting marshmallows on the fire
[Breakin Dishes lyrics on http://www.metrolyrics.com]

And what I'm burning is your attire
I'm getting restless
I'm getting tested
And I can't believe he's always out every night
And never checks in
Is he cheating
Man I don't know
I'm looking 'round for something else to throw

{Chorus}

I don't know who you think I am (I am, I am...)
But I really don't give a damn right now
An if you don't come
Imma huff and puff and
Blow this, blow this (oh)
Blow this, blow this
Imma blow this, blow this (oh)
Blow this, blow this
Imma blow this, blow this (oh)
Blow this house, house down
Dishes breaking, dishes breaking, dishes

{Chorus}

A man, a man, a m-a-n
A man, a man, a m-a-n

Breaking, breaking, breaking....
Dishes Dishes Dishes....
(repeat)

[Olivialove]

I look at this on a biological level. One of the main functions of males of most species (mammals) includes impregnating the female. He is equipped to impregnate as many as he can find. The female, on the other hand, has the one egg, and once the deed's been done, she has no more use for intercourse. So biologically, men have been programmed for multiple partners whereas women have not. So in order not to cheat, men have to make an intellectual decision that goes against their biological makeup. It's not quite as hard for women.


yes i do understand and respect their needs to have multiple partners. My whole point has to do with LYING to a such an openminded individual!~
we can take the truth better than LIES! lol

[hwbs]

I look at this on a biological level. One of the main functions of males of most species (mammals) includes impregnating the female. He is equipped to impregnate as many as he can find. The female, on the other hand, has the one egg, and once the deed's been done, she has no more use for intercourse. So biologically, men have been programmed for multiple partners whereas women have not. So in order not to cheat, men have to make an intellectual decision that goes against their biological makeup. It's not quite as hard for women.

to the next girl that says she wants an open relationship ... we can keep fucking but no bf status...

[peggygee]

I look at this on a biological level. One of the main functions of males of most species (mammals) includes impregnating the female. He is equipped to impregnate as many as he can find. The female, on the other hand, has the one egg, and once the deed's been done, she has no more use for intercourse. So biologically, men have been programmed for multiple partners whereas women have not. So in order not to cheat, men have to make an intellectual decision that goes against their biological makeup. It's not quite as hard for women.

Due to the biological imperative that Eggbert has outlined I think too
many do, but I don't believe that all do.

I do get a sense that many of the men that cheat will do a pay for play
situation, because they may be tired of the same sexual diet at home.

Some men may have mistresses on the side, but that can quickly
become like having a second wife, which unless you're a Mormon most
men aren't up for.

[evalala]

Trust yourself only, fuck as many people as you like and don't have to be with anyone. Thats a fucking way to be man! Pretty awesome lifestyle. Nothing wrong with that. What is wrong is when he tells her, ya so we're committed and if you cheat on me then its over. While in the shadows he's off doing exactly what he doesn't want her to do. Or vice versa. Trust is an imaginary thing that society made up to control the masses. Just trust yourself and fuck them all. Feels good don't it?

[evalala]

Get a wife and fuck her as often as you like. If you talk animal biology or what ever the fuck eggburps, then that is the reason why men have to get a wife. Fuck her brains out, you don't have to have kids if you don't wanna. Pussy is pussy, cock is cock, once you have one of your own who loves and cherishes you why the fuck go out and keep searching? It is laziness and it is boredom. If you are involved and you look at someone lustfully who isn't your partner than you have already had sex and cheated right then and there. So we're all sinners. Repent with a steak dinner. Repeat. Great to be human? Single life rocks for most men so stay single.

[Moon]

Coming from a man, I can say I have never cheated. I have always been loyal to my partners through good time and bad.

It is wrong to tar everyone with the same brush just because you have bad experiences and picked the wrong type of guy.

Looks aren't everything, what is in a persons heart is more important.



Moon

[trapmasta]

shit its all i do

[tatsu1]

It all depends on your definition of "cheating"! For instance, my gf (of 3 months) just broke up with me because i kissed another girl. Granted, i shouldn't have, however, it was only a kiss. Not a huge deal. I didn't fuck the chick, though now i wish I had. Then our break up would be, in my opinion, more valid. At least my Enough to get mad at?: Yeah. Breaking up though?: I'm not so sure. This is the first time I've broken up with a girl due to cheating, as i've never "cheated" before.

[Justawannabe]

Not sure this is the place you would find a lot of faithful men.

I've only been in one situation that might be considered me cheating. And that was complicated, an open relationship... but one in which the folks involved didn't clear things with each other.

On the other hand I've been cheated on with remarkable regularity by the girls I've dated... so I have a feeling it goes both ways. Research I've seen is showing that lots more women admit to cheating than they used to. I think as women have moved into more situations similar to what men have done for centuries we'll see more cheating as opportunity increases.

Similar to the stats we're seeing in violence, steady increases in women being the perpetrator due to changing expectations likely.

Sean

[Thatiger23]

personally i can say ive never cheated and i wil nevwer cheat.....NOT ALL MEN ARE THE SAME AS THE NEXT.........

[BlkJewels]

I never wondered why cheating is linked exclusively 2 men. Any1 watch maury? How can u get from marrying a dude 2 junior may not b yours?

[jjhill]

Not all of us lol

[DL_NL]

I don't cheat. I'm too lazy to take the trouble for more than one woman, to think up excuses etc.

[jaycanuck]

Actually, more of my female friends have cheated than my male friends. I learned early in life that it doesn't pay to cheat.

[CORVETTEDUDE]

Of course we all cheat!!! We're complete fuckin' scumbags!!! I don't know why you asked...you knew the answer!!! Were you just tryin' to waste our valuable fuckin' time? We've got "cheatin" goin' on and don't have time for this shit!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[LilWyte]

i never cheated....if im not happy in a relationship we just break up....its not that hard :roll:

[MrF]

The statistics I've seen on how many cheat are all over the map. Between 20 and 75% for men and somewhat lower -- 10 to 60% -- for women.

I guess it's hard to pin down because people don't like to admit to cheating, and it may also depend on your definition of cheating -- e.g. whether a love affair with emotional connection, versus a swift and cold escort encounter, etc.

[CORVETTEDUDE]

There are a bunch of lyin' assholes in this thread!!!!

[LilWyte]

i never cheated....if im not happy in a relationship we just break up....its not that hard :roll:

ur like 15 u can probably count your girl friends with 2 fingers.
^cheats on girls w/ escorts

and im 20 but when i was 15 i probably already been with as many girls as u been with now

[jaycanuck]

There are a bunch of lyin' assholes in this thread!!!!

A person's parents can teach you a lot of things in life. I learned not to cheat from my parents as I saw how fucked up their divorce was. I don't cheat. Truth.

[SXFX]

I've never done it but have given it considerable thought.

[jjhill]

A quote came to my mind "How he move in a room full of no's, how he stay faithful in a room full of hoes" never cheated either. Care for the other person way to much, plus I believe in Karma, and shit hits you harder the second time around

[Justawannabe]

This thread reminds me that folks who do bad things always believe that everyone else does them too. The work hard to come up with reasons why it's not just them or why they're level of it isn't that bad.

jjhill is right though, at least in one interpretation of the line. Your are who you hang around with. Not completely, but enough so that I wouldn't want to date someone who hangs around with cheaters.

Third thought, comes up in other threads like this, is that if you are in an industry or environment that blurs the boundaries on relationships it's harder. My family owns a number of bars and no one who works in them full time seems able to keep a relationship together. They always end up finding someone who feels like a better fit.

Just saying, no, all men don't cheat. Some men do, and in some environments it will be a higher percentage. Don't buy the excuse that it's biology, cop out and the situations have striking little in common.

[Richctdude]

yes!!

[jaybee]

The sweeping generalization that all men are cheaters, is utter bollocks!!! Don't be so fucking stupid and narrow minded!
Peace.

[Jyaku]

I haven't cheated yet, never even got tempted.. I have been cheated on twice

[jjhill]

I haven't cheated yet, never even got tempted.. I have been cheated on twice

damn and i thought everybody got tempted

[marcelloNYC]

I do not think that making a blanket statement that all men cheat or that all hot men come with baggage is fair or accurate.

I am a thirty-something male, well educated and intellectual, been told I am beyond hot, have no baggage, and I have never cheated in a monogamous relationship.

Some men and women will always cheat, but it is more a matter of character and not gender, looks or education that decides a person's level of honesty in a relationship.

M.

[blakpadi]

YES! But I don't call it cheating,I'm allergic to commitment.

[jjhill]

my gf currently thinks i'm cheating on her. I found this out from her best friend... "insert name here thinks your cheating on her with a ts" o God this should be interesting.... no wonder why i've been getting the cold shoulder the past couple days