Worst Movies of all time... that you cant stop watching!!

[Leverage87]

Lots of Stallone ones for me, but not over the top, I mean what the hell, a movie based on an arm wrestling tournament? Worst. Premise. Ever.

heres my list:
-Cobra
-Tango and Cash
-Rocky 2-5
-Beastmaster
-Red Dawn
-Conan the Barbarian

and probably a bagillion more, but I'm tired and thats all I can think of.

[lupinIII]

I'll see your Conan the Barbarian and raise you Conan the Destroyer

There's also some key picks

TMNT 3: Turtles in Time
Bodyshot starring Robert Patrick
Laser Mission starring Brandon Lee and one of my favourites:

[Leverage87]

oh god, street fighter, yeah... for some reason, and I know they suck total donkey nut, I can't stop watching movies like Blood Sport, and Street Fighter, and all the other assorted Van-Damme piles of shit...

Also Conan the Destroyer is probably the worst action movie ever made, you've got me on that one.

[praetor]

La Vita é Bella. Roberto Benigni acting like an idiot. He intend to be a Charles Chaplin, but he is a simple idiot.

[lupinIII]

I dunno man, Stallone's unity speech from Rocky IV was pretty shite/awesome

"I guess what I'm trying to say, is that if I can change, and you can change, everybody can change!"

Awful

[lupinIII]

Eh nothing wrong with Benigni, he walked over Spielberg's head when he accepted his Oscar, anyone who does that has some chutzpah

[Leverage87]

The best part about that speech, was the breaks for the Russian Translator, for the added effects. By the way, was that guy even translating into real Russian?

Although I think the corniest love it/hate it speech is in Conan the Barbarian, when little Conan and his father talk about the riddle of steel.
something to this effect:

Father "In this life, Conan, you cannot trust in flesh, or in gods, or in the minds of men, but in this, you can trust, trust in steel. When the world was young, giants lived here, and they stole from the gods the secret of steel, and Crom was angry, so they came and did battle, but in their anger, the gods forget the secret of steel and left it on the battle field. we who found it, we are not giants, or gods, only men."

lol, gives me a skin crawling, heart swelling, yet vomit inducing cringe every time I hear it.

[CORVETTEDUDE]

Navy SEALS - Charlie Sheen
G.I. Jane
and, anything with Elvis Presley in it.

[JohnnyWalkerBlackLabel]

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/e/ec/Fast_Times_at_Ridgemont_High_400.jpg

[Night Rider]

Ferris Beuller's Day Off...from back in the day

http://www.t3.co.uk/__data/assets/fp_auto_layout_image/557598/varieties/6.jpg

[Wombat]

This one... :shock:

[Leverage87]

lol wombat, thats an actual movie?

[lupinIII]

Has anyone seen a bunch of Japanese movies called Guitar Wolf?

They're fuckin' fantastic. The premise is a bunch of guys who happen to be werewolves playing in a hair metal style rock band called 'guitar wolf'. The names of the members are the most groundbreaking things ever, 'Guitar Wolf', 'Bass Wolf', and 'Drum Wolf'. The movie plots revolve around them foiling zombie outbreaks and alien invasions.

ロケアンロル
!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fuckin' sweet

[Wombat]

lol wombat, thats an actual movie?

Yes, I shit you not... :shock:

[lupinIII]

This one... :shock:


....
Doesn't look that bad...

OK Fine, I lie, it looks fuckin' sweet!

[Wombat]

Has anyone seen a bunch of Japanese movies called Guitar Wolf?

They're fuckin' fantastic. The premise is a bunch of guys who happen to be werewolves playing in a hair metal style rock band called 'guitar wolf'. The names of the members are the most groundbreaking things ever, 'Guitar Wolf', 'Bass Wolf', and 'Drum Wolf'. The movie plots revolve around them foiling zombie outbreaks and alien invasions.



See SS Doomtrooper for yourself, have a book handy.

With regards to the above 'Wolf' series, yeah I have seen them. They are so bad in a good way. 8)

[lupinIII]

Sounds good man, I've been looking for a reason to get into the latest bestseller.

[Legend]

CLASS OF NUKE 'EM HIGH

[Leverage87]

Wombat, that movie looks like one of those ridiculous thrown together you tube movies made by preteen nerdlingers... I seriously still think your shitting me...

[GIA LOVES RON]

GIGLI stariing Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck. One of the worst movies ever to hit the big screen. *DISGUST*

[trish]

a spaghetti western called: a man named nobody.

if you haven't seen it, it's worth seeing for the laughs, especially for the shooting contest in the bar.

[Legend]

Wombat, that movie looks like one of those ridiculous thrown together you tube movies made by preteen nerdlingers... I seriously still think your shitting me...


Naw he isn't kidding because its made by the sci fi channel most of there saturday tv movies look like they have the budget of a school play.

[Leverage87]

Lol, thank you Gia, I can't believe we all forgot the humungous shitpile called Gigli, I saw 10 minutes of it on TV, wanted to puke, then watched the rest out of digusted horror, like a train wreck.

[GIA LOVES RON]

Lol, thank you Gia, I can't believe we all forgot the humungous shitpile called Gigli, I saw 10 minutes of it on TV, wanted to puke, then watched the rest out of digusted horror, like a train wreck.

HAHAHA! It was one of the worst acting skills they have ever done in their entire career. And to think that they we're a real couple there is more frustrating that they couldn't act like one in the big screen. But nevertheless the plot of the story is for freaking idiots that don't read and write.

[Leverage87]

Legend, now i'm seriously disappointed in the sci-fi channel, I started to gain an iota of respect for them after I saw the Dune mini series (Not excellent, but decent, and milestones ahead of the feature film of Dune)

Well damn, now those fucks at sci-fi got some 'splainin to do

[Leverage87]

Nicole, I'll co-sign that like 50 times. That was one of those movies I 'borrowed' from my brother when I was like 14 (I don't know why he had it, but I wasn't surprised, he has over 600 flicks in his collection) and I was like oh man, sweet strippers... My penis and I were sorely let down.

[DJ_Asia]

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/e/ec/Fast_Times_at_Ridgemont_High_400.jpg

Get the fuck outta Dodge dude!! That movie has 2 future academy award winners acting in it...in no stretch of the imagination can this be called a "bad movie"

Now...onto some truly bad movies...that I always will take time out to watch.

Anything w/ Godzilla
Giant Robot
1 Miliion Years BC..fuck YESSS shes HOT!!!!

id post more but i gotta go Google Raquel Welch and j/o now

[Quinn]

a spaghetti western called: a man named nobody.

if you haven't seen it, it's worth seeing for the laughs, especially for the shooting contest in the bar.

Are you refering to "My Name is Nobody"?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/My_Name_Is_Nobody

If so, I used to watch it as a kid with my dad. Great movie...

-Quinn

[TSCURIOUS]

Co-sign on Showgirls. Anything with Adam Sandler and Caddyshack II. Also - Godfather III sucked!

[GIA LOVES RON]

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/e/ec/Fast_Times_at_Ridgemont_High_400.jpg

Get the fuck outta Dodge dude!! That movie has 2 future academy award winners acting in it...in no stretch of the imagination can this be called a "bad movie"

Now...onto some truly bad movies...that I always will take time out to watch.

Anything w/ Godzilla
Giant Robot
1 Miliion Years BC..fuck YESSS shes HOT!!!!

id post more but i gotta go Google Raquel Welch and j/o now

Raquel Welch is so sexy and hot in that movie! Even now on her mature years, she still smokin hot!

[alphanumeric]

wow, no one mentioned ecks vs. sever.

So bad it's gooood

[phxguy]

ANYTHING with Lindsay Lohan in it is the worst movie. And I don't watch any of them.

[alphanumeric]

but for me truly the worst movie ever had to be that uwe boll abortion "alone in the dark"

I truly don't know why but I only rented it and for the first time in my life ever! (seriously) I wanted my money back!

So if you value your sanity (hell, even if you only value the 5 bucks it cost to rent) Stay Away!!!

[Leverage87]

Heres another, 'Surviving the Game' seriously, what the fuck were they thinking? Oh, nevermind, I know, it was early 90's

Director 'Check this out, were gonna have some rich well-to-do fuckers hunting people in the wilderness as the ultimate hunting experience!'

Producer 'Sounds good, who're the stars?'

Director 'I was thinking Gary Busey and Ice-T'

At this point I'd like to think the Producer was in the middle of a labotemy or something to agree with that.

[tall, dark & Handsome]

I saw "wristcutters" in Pasadena this weekend. The first 15 minutes made me want to die due to the fact that it was the worst acting I have ever witnessed.

If you can make it through the first 5 scenes the rest of the movie is "watchable" but I would not recomend trying it without a razor blade.
:lol:

[Leverage87]

Wristcutter... sounds similar to the movie called 13 (If im remembering right, we watched parts in my psych class, about a suicidal/emo teenage girl)

[muhmuh]

a spaghetti western called: a man named nobody.

if you haven't seen it, it's worth seeing for the laughs, especially for the shooting contest in the bar.

the terence hill one? everything with either him or bud spencer in and especially with both of them is bloddy fantastic

another especially good crappy western is hallelujah trail

[ottorocket]

SpaceBalls

[tall, dark & Handsome]

Wristcutter... sounds similar to the movie called 13 (If im remembering right, we watched parts in my psych class, about a suicidal/emo teenage girl)

I saw 13 that was pretty good, wristcutters just came out. It is a bit whimsical.

here is a link to the reviews.

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/wristcutters_a_love_story/

once it settles down it gets a little bit better, mostly due to tom waits, but it is still an extremely flawed script; and it looks as if it was shot by a blind monkey- That however would be an insult to blind monkeys.

[ottorocket]

Howard the Duck??

[trish]

yeah, terrence hill and henry fonda.
i agree, hallelujah trail is good for laughs too.

[Leverage87]

Another Sly flick: Judge Dredd, also Demolition Man.

[ingram22]

Bloodsport.

[tall, dark & Handsome]

With the holiday season coming up here is one everyone can enjoy no matter their denomination.

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians


Aahhhh mrs. claus...what a ditzy bitch.

you can watch the whole thing here.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7709281390847700281

[Rod la Rod]

If you enjoy beheading and amputation using a Samurai sword. If you are interested in the way of the Yakuza. "Brother", starring Japan's most famous actor Beat Takeshi. An unintentionally hilarious look at how the Japanese perceive life on the mean streets of LA. A side splitting blood bath.

[Leverage87]

Rod, is Taboo based upon a somewhat true story? Is Oda Nobunaga involved in it at all?

Also, on the note of martians that reminds me, Mar Attacks.

[Leverage87]

On a sidenote, I have just become utterly disgusted with Geico and Eric Frampton at the same damn time.... yes, mr guitar talk box is appearing on car insurance commercials now... oh how the mighty have fallen, no longer do i wish to feel like he does

[JohnnyVee]

A turd of a movie...but it had some redeeming qualities...

[Rod la Rod]

Rod, is Taboo based upon a somewhat true story? Is Oda Nobunaga involved in it at all?

Also, on the note of martians that reminds me, Mar Attacks.

Also for you TS fans, "Taboo", A story set in medieval Japan about a young lad who is too beautiful for men to resist. Also starring Beat Takeshi. I think
it is representative of Japanese culture in the Edo period. Actually a well reviewed movie. Worth a look.

[Leverage87]

Just out of curiosity, and I know somewhat of the Japanese Fuedal Period, and things of that sort were somewhat common at the time, as a matter of fact the famed Warlord and Hopeful Unifier of Japan Oda Nobunaga kept a private femnized boy sexslave himself, although I can't remember the boys name.

[trish]

i can't decide whether these are bad movies or not, but they capture my attention whenever they're playing :arrow:

[trish]

same goes for :arrow:

[lupinIII]

I love Dusk till Dawn! Pulpiness incarnate!

[lust4ts]

Steven Spielberg's first film Duel. It's so crap it is brilliant, pure genius :D

[Leverage87]

When a Stranger Calls, you average cliched fright flick, predictable, yet you cant stop watching it, just because you have to see if you were right if you guessed it was the cat and not some murderer that knocked something over in the other room.

[lust4ts]

Oh and all the Leprechaun "Horror Films" :lol: Just terrible :twisted:

[Dino Velvet]

There was a company called Cannon Films that put out the most awesomely cheesy action flicks in the 80s and 90s. The best ones starred Charles Bronson or Chuck Norris. I watch a Charles Bronson movie named "10 To Midnight" all the time. My favorite part is when Charles Bronson, who plays Detective Leo Kessler, is interrogating the prime murder suspect. When the perp doesn't spill, he pulls out a sex toy that he stole from the guys apartment. He angrily waves it at the guy and yells, "Do you know what this is for?!? It's for jacking off, isn't it!?!

10 To Midnight Trailer
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGulaCHHKUc
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/514JF2X24YL._SS500_.jpg

[lupinIII]

Haha, Bronson was the bomb! Has anyone seen that episode of the Simpsons where they're going to Branson, Missouri but end up in Bronson, Missouri where everyone looks like Charles Bronson?

Baby Bronson: Hey mama! How 'bout some ice cream.
Mama Bronson: No dice!
Baby Bronson: Dis ain't ovah!

[Dino Velvet]

Haha, Bronson was the bomb! Has anyone seen that episode of the Simpsons where they're going to Branson, Missouri but end up in Bronson, Missouri where everyone looks like Charles Bronson?

Baby Bronson: Hey mama! How 'bout some ice cream.
Mama Bronson: No dice!
Baby Bronson: Dis ain't ovah!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pg5Gc_3bObI

Here's some more Bronson.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gvSe9PzX0I8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sk2_6oSLmvo

Charles Bronson Home Protection System
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYdSqBzjBcU

Charles Bronson is My Driving Instructor
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJKVgwJfnxI

Charles Bronson is my AA Sponsor
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXsj8wg9D4o

Charles Bronson is a News Correspondent
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aruL2DVUzE4

Charles Bronson is my Paperboy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yE0kchLwci4

http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c160/DinoVelvet/181061868_8ad3d91356.jpg

[Legend]

http://i17.tinypic.com/81iz3gn.jpg
"Am I the meanest?"
"Sho'nuff!"
"Am I the prettiest?"
"Sho'nuff!"
"Am I the baddest mo'fo lowdown around this town?"
"Sho'nuff!"
"Well who am I?"
"Sho'nuff!"
"Who am I?"
"Sho'nuff!!"
"I can't hear you."
"SHO'NUFF!!!

[Willie Escalade]

I haven't gone through the whole thread, but...

...everytime it comes on TV, I find myself watching it. :roll:

[hippifried]

If you like spaghetti westerns, the "Trinity" series is worth a laugh. If you're into extremely bad Japanese sci-fi action films, there's the "Starman" series. It's sad how a lot of this great junk has been bumped off late night TV by even worse infomercials. If you can find it, there's a great Woody Allen flick called "What's up, Tiger Lily?". It's a Japanese detective drama that he dubbed in his own dialog, & interspersed with pieces of interviews with himself clips of the Lovin' Spoonful who did the soundtrack.

One more bad movie that's worth a good belly laugh is "Putney Swope".

My all time biggest disappointment was "Armageddon". Bad acting. Bad directing. Bad dialog. Bad premise. Bad science. Bad etc... No redeeming value at all. Makes Gigli look like oscar material.

Favorites are "Network", "Dragonslayer", "Dr Strangelove", "The 13th Warrior", "Payback", "Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas", & "Pulp Fiction".

[Dino Velvet]

Another baddy but a goody is Vice Squad. Here's the description.

Season Hubley (HARDCORE) stars as Princess, a loving single mom turned Hollywood hooker who can provide any depraved pleasure for the right price. But when a volatile cop (Gary Swanson) uses her to trap a sadistic killer, Princess becomes the prey of a psychotic pimp known as Ramrod (a mind-blowing, take-noprisoners performance by Wings Hauser). Tonight, the neon jungle of Los Angeles will explode in an orgy of vengeance and violence. And the only outlaws more desperate than the hustlers, whores and freaks that rule the streets are the VICE SQUAD. "You may think you’ve heard of every sickness and perversion movies like to titter about," wrote Rex Reed in The New York Daily News, "but there are quite a few in VICE SQUAD you’ve never dreamed possible!" Pepe Serna (SCARFACE) and original MTV VJ Nina Blackwood co-star in this vicious ‘80s action smash from the creator of the ‘schoolgirl hooker’ hit ANGEL and the director of DEAD & BURIED.

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51XN9H8RRBL._SS500_.jpg

[lupinIII]

Haha, Bronson was the bomb! Has anyone seen that episode of the Simpsons where they're going to Branson, Missouri but end up in Bronson, Missouri where everyone looks like Charles Bronson?

Baby Bronson: Hey mama! How 'bout some ice cream.
Mama Bronson: No dice!
Baby Bronson: Dis ain't ovah!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pg5Gc_3bObI




Hahahah! Fantastic! That was one of the last great Simpsons episodes.

[Wombat]

Showgirls

Wasn't even wank worthy... :roll:

[jefferson1776]

The Pest


its my favorite comedy of all time, most ppl hate it, i love it and will never get tired of ithttp://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/pic/DMS/841201~The-Pest-Video-Release-Posters.jpg

[Wombat]

This is a thread that could go on forever...

[Jericho]

"Knights", with Lance Henrikson and Kriss Kristofferson.
It's...it's...indescribable!

[Bluntasaurus-Rex]

Riki-Oh The Story of Ricky, This movie has a great plot and It's one of my favorites but the special effects and production values are horrible lol but I guess thats part of it's charm, You can't beat the Random Board of Nails in the prison shower scene.

[Leverage87]

It was on TV today: Stargate

-Mallrats, even though I love it, it got some terrible reviews
-Starship Troopers
-Anything with Steven Segal in it.

[alphanumeric]

but for me truly the worst movie ever had to be that uwe boll abortion "alone in the dark"

I truly don't know why but I only rented it and for the first time in my life ever! (seriously) I wanted my money back!

So if you value your sanity (hell, even if you only value the 5 bucks it cost to rent) Stay Away!!!Was that a horror movie with Jack Palance an Martin Landau?

for more information:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0369226/

[Hazel Tucker]

I think Spiderman 3 sucked. I loved the first and the second one. I just couldn't get into the third one- the whole corny character change in Parker...omg...i sound like a complete nerd. lol

[DJ_Asia]

Im shocked that nobody has mentioned the King of Bling:

Rudy Ray Moore!!!

[TJT]

There was a company called Cannon Films that put out the most awesomely cheesy action flicks in the 80s and 90s.

Cannon and Golan-Globus cranked out some stinkers in that period. Cannon had Bronson and Golan-Globus had Chuck Norris.

I saw Elvis movies mentioned up the page. Nothing like getting buzzed up on the Big E's birthday when TMC runs it's 24 hours of Elvis.

The beach movies of my youth were God-awful but I love watching them. If you look carefully in the dance numbers you can spot a young Terri Garr.

Frankie Avalon moved on to make these quasi spy/comedy movies in Italy after those beach movies that were so bad they were good too. I think "Dr.Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine" is probably the easiest one to find. Those flicks featured Italy's answer to Abbot and Costello, Franco and Ciccio. Bad,bad stuff.

Then there's the "Ernest" cycle. Those have a special place in my bad movie HOF.

[OEMEnemyNum1]

Troll.... Troll 2

[tall, dark & Handsome]

I gotta say the all time best at being the worst is Commando.
From the first shot you know this movie is all about Action with a capitol A.

it has a tender side though too like in the music sequence were Arnold & a young Mellisa Milano are petting the deer..... So much love.

and you have to love lines like:

Matrix: Keep an eye out, they'll be coming. You're downwind, the air currents might tip them off
Jackson: Downwind?
[looks at Matrix like he's crazy]
Jackson: You think I could smell them coming?
Matrix: I did.

or

Matrix: Bennett! I thought you were...
Bennett: Dead? You thought wrong. Ever since you had me thrown out of your unit, I've waited to pay you back.
Bennett: Do you know what today is Matrix?... Pay day!


or Arnold and Mellisa Milano on Politics and social mores

Matrix: [reading about Boy George in a pop magazine] Why don't they just call him Girl George? It would cut down on the confusion.
Jenny: Oh, Dad, that is so old.
Matrix: Ha Ha. You know when I was a boy and rock'n'roll came to East Germany, the communists said it was subversive.
[thinks and smiles]
Matrix: Maybe they were right.

[Dino Velvet]

There was a company called Cannon Films that put out the most awesomely cheesy action flicks in the 80s and 90s.

Cannon and Golan-Globus cranked out some stinkers in that period. Cannon had Bronson and Golan-Globus had Chuck Norris.

If by "stinkers" you mean some of the best action movies to watch while guzzling Jack Daniels, I agree with you 100%.

[BoNBoN]

Best ever

[TJT]

There was a company called Cannon Films that put out the most awesomely cheesy action flicks in the 80s and 90s.

Cannon and Golan-Globus cranked out some stinkers in that period. Cannon had Bronson and Golan-Globus had Chuck Norris.

If by "stinkers" you mean some of the best action movies to watch while guzzling Jack Daniels, I agree with you 100%.

Dog drunk at 4 AM was the only way to get through those classics. If you got real lucky Wings Hauser or Tim Thomerson would be the co-star.

[gunn]

TANK GIRL ,this movie is crapy but i just love it.GO FIGER?

[Leverage87]

Oh god, I frogot about Tank Girl, that movie blows donkey penis!

[todd1971]

I don't fully understand what people may call a crappy movie but without going though all pages someone was talking about Bronson. I could watch Breakheart Pass constantly but is that a crappy movie, one persons trash is another's treasure.

[Leverage87]

Well, its the same thing for me with Conan movies, their so corny, what with the shitty acting and all, but its a movie I grew up with as a kid, watched it all the time, now I own it and watch it constantly, but I realize it sucks ass.

[Wombat]

Showgirls

Wasn't even wank worthy... :roll:Obviously you've mistaken me for someone who gives a shit what you use for masturbation material. I enjoyed it.

G.A.F.

[arnie666]

Beverly Hills cop 1,2,3. All three totally shit.But I think Eddie Murphy is a funny geezer and I always watch them when they are on.


'Is this a Black thing?' :D