PDA

View Full Version : What he meant to say was..........................


JohnnyWalkerBlackLabel
11-12-2007, 04:04 PM
I've been sifting through the archives and the latest threads and I'm exhausted so before I go relax on my day off I figured I'd start something bound to end up controversial.................

Ladies & Gents feel free to add to this

I can't make it dear, I have a bad headache: translation: I already got that pussy, if I'm by your way I'll call you, but don't think I'm going out of my way it wasn't all that!

My mom called, she needs me to stop by and fix her vcr: translation: Good old mom line, always works and even though she switched to DVD's what dumb blonde is gonna think about that shit on a phonecall!!!?!?

I hurt my leg playing football yesterday translation: puhlease my leg aint that fucked up, i just won't risk further muscle damage for YOUR pussy, i mean your pussy juice is not the healing agent of muscles like resting on my couch looking at television is!!!!

Sure babe, I'll be gentle translation: I'll be gentle until I'm in that pussy, and then it's a wrap for you, hope you have your work days counted, you might have to call in tomorrow, because when i get through with you you're gonna need crutches or a wheelchair!!!!!!!

I swear I did not know that was your sister translation: of course i knew that was your sister, the bitch told me she was your sister, before she sucked the dick, after she sucked the dick, and while she was getting dressed saying "please don't tell my sister we fucked!!! please!!!"



feel free to add
JWBL™
blckhaze
11-12-2007, 08:57 PM
ROFLMAO
the last two = Classic.
JANIRA
11-12-2007, 09:40 PM
"C'mon baby, just give "IT" a lil kiss " Translation: IMMA grab the back of your head and pound my cock down your throat till my balls are in your mouth.
slinky
11-12-2007, 10:35 PM
See, this can lead to mistakes which can cost you if you slip up. It's how I got divorced the first time. I was sitting having breakfast with the wife and meant to say "can you please pass me the butter?", but I slipped and it came out "Bitch, you ruined my fucking life!"
slinky
11-12-2007, 10:43 PM
As any married man will tell you:
"whatever makes you happy, dear" translation: GO FUCK YOURSELF!!!!

"it must have slipped off" translation: notice how that always happens in doggie when you're looking the other way?

"I'll just put the head in" translation: brace yourself and pray

"It's just a pimple" translation: I hope your shots are up to date

"I gotta hop, my ride's here" translation: I can't concentrate in this chick on my dick and talk to you at the same time
Night Rider
11-12-2007, 10:46 PM
LMAO
Mr_Choc69
11-12-2007, 11:20 PM
"C'mon baby, just give "IT" a lil kiss " Translation: IMMA grab the back of your head and pound my cock down your throat till my balls are in your mouth.

LMAO - Yeah that Happens
BeardedOne
11-13-2007, 12:13 AM
See, this can lead to mistakes which can cost you if you slip up. It's how I got divorced the first time. I was sitting having breakfast with the wife and meant to say "can you please pass me the butter?", but I slipped and it came out "Bitch, you ruined my fucking life!"

:lol: :lol: :lol:

*Snark!* :lol:

That's been making the rounds of late. :D

I had to deal with a lot of translating with my 'ex' (Never married, but the term satisfies). She tends to listen more to the little voices in her head than to anything I might actually be saying.

If I said "That dinner was delicious!", she heard "That was better than the sewage that you forced me to eat last night!".

If I said "Let's go for a nice drive today.", she heard "If I find a secluded spot far enough outside of town, no-one will hear your screams when I beat you with a rock".

If I said "Fuck you!", she'd just roll her eyes and say "Is this about the ass thing again?". :shock:

I finally gave up and let our son be the ambassador. :? I'm wondering what her reaction will be to the gift(s) I sent for her upcoming wedding (A nice little digicam and memory card with a polite request that she take lots of pix at the reception and some handy gift cards for books, dining, and home and garden). I half expect that she'll tell my son "Lookit that! Your old man had plenty of money to buy a camera and gift cards, but his cheap ass isn't on a plane to the wedding, is it?". :roll:
Ecstatic
11-13-2007, 03:28 AM
Call me! "I hope I never have to see your dumb ass again."

I don't have a thing to wear. "I'd rather stay home and eat ice cream."

LOL@Janira "give IT a lil kiss"!!
JohnnyWalkerBlackLabel
11-13-2007, 03:35 AM
No sweety you don't look fat in that. translation: no you don't look fat in that!!!!!!!

Let's order in. translation: I do not want to eat your fucking cooking!!!!!!!!

It's ok sweety, really. translation: what the fuck?!? how old are you again?!?
slinky
11-13-2007, 10:13 AM
No sweety, those pants don't make you look fat translation: your HUGE ass makes you look fat