am I just a wuss?

[suckseed]

So...
A few weeks ago I was all jazzed to hire a can't-miss* tgirl escort and have a wild time, maybe get topped for the first time; once I started thinking it might be possible to do this reasonably securely (no friends around, strange city) I got extremely excited about it. Some of you may have read my posts about it. The thing is, I'm going to have about $1500 and no job when I move to my next city. I knew it wasn't the smartest use of $2-300 but I was thinking that the experience would be worth that. Now that the date is just a couple of weeks away, however, even though I might even have the chance to be with a girl I've often fantasized about, I find that I'm thinking more about the contacts I'm making in my line of work (I've had 17 job offers, some of them pretty tempting), and my new start in general.
And the thing is, I only think that this is something I really want to do when I'm, you'll pardon the expression, chokin' the bishop. Other times I think, what if I contracted a disease just before starting my new life in another city**, what would that do to my chances of meeting my dream (gg) girl, I should keep this just a fantasy. Also, I wanted this to be not just sex, but Top Ten sex of all time, that kind of thing, which has only happened in the past with a lover I've known for some time.
Yes, there's a question! What do you guys think? Is this a dumb idea, is it just nerves, should I want to do this a lot more to actually act on it?
Am I just a wuss? Please don't bag on me too harshly. I'm trying to be honest here. Can't exactly ask my mom about this... :wink:

* one who the majority of reviews gives high marks for overall experience
** while we'd both insist on condoms for sex, I know that I'd consent to giving and receiving BBBJ in the heat of the moment if it were offered.

[Ecstatic]

Like the old song lyric has it, "don't do it if you don't want to, I wouldn't do a thing like that" (Donovan, 1967, "Museum"). But on the other hand, if it's truly something you want to do and *must* do, then to not give it a try would be a shame because you'd never know.

The one point you make that would give me pause in your position is the money: 20% of your current finances when you have no new job and are about to move seems extravagant. Personally, I'd wait until I have money coming in. But I wouldn't let fear of disease deter me: insist on condoms for intercourse, and if you're worried, then insist on cbj (though the risks are far lower there than in bareback sex).

[suckseed]

Once again, my hands are shaking a little as i type this. I decided to check out eros in phoenix and call Nina. Tentative appointment in less than two hours. Now I'm sitting here excited and to be honest, scared! It's funny, now I know what girls who are new to sex must be feeling. It's not as though she's going to kill me. Maybe I am a wuss. Anybody offer a little encouragement here?

[Ecstatic]

Be yourself. Bathe and groom yourself before seeing her (you have just enough time). If you expect to be topped, prep first (warm water and an anal syringe, or even a Fleet enema, though you don't need the harsh chemicals, so you could empty it out and refill with warm water). Use lots of lube. I'm sure she's ready and willing to ease you into it, so just be relaxed and have a good time.

[hondarobot]

Well, it's been an hour since Suckseed posted about calling the escort. I wonder how things are going. . .

:wink:

[Ecstatic]

Methinks he's losing his cherry right about now....

:P

[hondarobot]

:shock:

hehehe. It'll be interesting to hear how it turned out.

[Ecstatic]

I hope he reports back--and I hope he didn't chicken out at the last minute.

[hondarobot]

For Gods sake, Suckseed! What the hell happened?!

Did you have a good time? Did you get rolled? Did you hide behind the curtain when she rang the doorbell?

We need a good story in here.

[Ecstatic]

Yes! Inquiring minds want to know!

[magic9inch]

hmm. i want to know?

[Ecstatic]

Well, ok, not all inquiring minds...just those that, um, inquire....

[blckhaze]

yeah share your story buddy

[suckseed]

well, i didn't go. my brother (who I live with at the moment) made a big dinner, and the girl in question, it turns out, might have been just a transvestite (a VIP hungangel wrote me and tipped me off.) Said VIPHA (new acronym? "VIPHA!" :D ) advised me that I should save my money for her friend or another, local girl who looked great, but cost $$$ as opposed to the girl I was going to see spontaneously who charged $$.
If I'm gonna spend $$$ I want a VIPHA!!!
Plus, the thing is, I know NO ONE in this town but my family, and it would look kinda weird to suddenly leave for two hours only to come home possibly walking funny. :wink:
Me: "well i'm gonna go, um, take a drive"
Brother: "where?"
Me: "well i um, ya know, BYE!"
Brother: ????
(He's not stupid, plus he already found some of my tgirl porn on the computer, asked me about it, and I was literally speechless, couldn't really think of a plausible excuse,(whoa! how'd that get on there?) and now we both pretend he didn't see it.)
So: will I go to see my dreamgirl? I don't know; I hope so. June first, boys and girls. If it happens I'll 'fill you in' with her permission.

[hondarobot]

Ah! That sucks. We wanted a good sex story!

[blckhaze]

lol. hondarobot
well suckseed hope it works out. its been a while since someone has shared the last TS encounter

[suckseed]

I know. Buzzkill. By the way, can anybody tell me if escorts generally mind if ya get high first? I mean, if I was to, not that I condone the despicable practice of marijuana use, would it be better to indulge in private before arriving at the lady's place of caboose-reaming, or is it usually safe to just pipe right up with "Hi! looking forward to this! Wanna toast a bowl?"

[canihavu]

I know. Buzzkill. By the way, can anybody tell me if escorts generally mind if ya get high first? I mean, if I was to, not that I condone the despicable practice of marijuana use, would it be better to indulge in private before arriving at the lady's place of caboose-reaming, or is it usually safe to just pipe right up with "Hi! looking forward to this! Wanna toast a bowl?"

LOL. That would depend on the lady. Personally, I would advise against it. All you need to do is relax and be yourself. Treat the lady with respect and explain to her that its your first time. A lot of ladies are love first timers...

[joyboy123]

Ah! That sucks. We wanted a good sex story!

I wanted to hear an outrageous sex story also. I got to admit though, Suckseed's honesty is a breath of fresh air.

[Felicia Katt]

breath of fresh air, except for the smell of weed LOL

Felicia

[suckseed]

well, it wouldn't be only to calm my nerves...i and several girlfriends have found it to be quite a little sensory enhancement! Surely I'm not alone here. BTW Felicia, that was funny!

[hondarobot]

The Quipter strikes again!

But honestly, Felicia, check out my new yahoo site, I really do think this is a good project.

I bet you'd write some awesome reviews.

[Ecstatic]

Well, I'm sorry it didn't work out, suckseed, but never fear, you'll "suckseed" one of these days (and I think I just figured out your screenname, lol). As you may recall, my first advice was generally in favor of trying, not denying, your dream, but I also cautioned against spending that much scratch on an unknown when you're short on cash and, as I recall, relocating without a job. Never gamble any money you can't afford to lose. And let us know when you finally take the plunge!

[Felicia Katt]

Honda, this may come as a surprise, but I don't watch a lot of tranny porn :) In fact, I don't really watch any, except if a friend wants to show me their recent work. But I'll join your site to support your efforts.

Felicia

[gaiseric]

Suckseed - I would go along with canihavu's comments - relax and be yourself and explain that it's your first time. That's what I did and it turned out great. I had been nervous but the nerves soon disappeared. The only problem I had was that she'd forgotten I was coming so we spent 10 minutes laughing about it while she checked her computer to see who had got it wrong. She had, so she then went out of her way to make it a good afternoon to make up for her error. Lovely Asian girl named Vixen in London!!! :) :D

[JohnnyWalkerBlackLabel]

dude, relax....................
there's ALWAYS another opportunity
in some cases, MUCH BETTER than the one you were considering at the time

[Adam_Thompson]

I feel you suckseed. I have decided personally to keep my fantasy a fantasy. I've called girls with the money in my hand, but my gut always told me to keep it just a fantasy. I've even met girls on the net exchanging pics and talking on the phone. If you want a lover and not just sex then don't buy a hooker bro. You can meet really nice girls as long as you aren't afraid to give them your pic and talk on the phone. I have met many smart cool ass chicks on the net who didn't prostitute.Friends with many today...My aunt was a transsexual too, so I have some kinda insight hopefully if you have other questions. Good Luck either way

[suckseed]

...but it looks as though I won't be. My VIPHA has failed to respond to my call & email, so she's either out of town or there's another reason. And I really don't care anymore. As I said at the beginning of this post, my attention has turned to other matters. And I have to say that should I meet the right gg or get involved in my professional projects, I'll give up the whole internet porn/tgirl/wank-o-rama activities entirely. It's mostly been a substitute for having a life the past year anyway. It's sort of like the difference between having kinky fantasies and having good 'ol sex with your girlfriend. Looking back, it seems that, in my life anyway, the phreakier the sex, the phreakier the girl, which is a definite double-edged sword. After all the emotional turmoil some of these women have put me through, I'd gladly give up my wilder fantasies for a lover that satisfies me emotionally and intellectually, and isn't such a distraction from my creative/productive free time. In other words, I don't want to make some other human my whole world - though god knows it's fun to be there for a while. :?