.

[Star]

....

[JohnnyWalkerBlackLabel]

I don't think you're stupid at all. I think you're just in a rough spot, and to be honest you're not alone. There's a few chicks on here that I've spoken to that either went or are currently going through what you are. It'd be nice if some of the ladies stepped up and pm'd you to walk you partially through the stress.

[tsntx]

sorry to hear that... when i was 16 i was in the same spot... my parents thought being hard on me would make me go back to being a boy, it didnt help and after a while they accept me... now my family is my biggest support system and they really take great care of me... i only hope yours comes around the way mine did -j

[soul4real]

Sorry to hear that. Life is tough and there will always be ups and downs. Just focus on your goals and let that be your fuel.

[Star]

.....

[Star]

Thankx to evr1 who replied!!

....i wouldnt be suprise if som1 replied with a violin playing.....lol

[JANIRA]

Hey star,, I'm very sorry to hear about your current situation, and i hope you will rise above all , and further your transistion and find happiness. Listen to me, i had to leave my house at 13 yrs old and coming from a hispanic family were most fathers are predominantly male shovenistic & macho. I had to endure plenty of drama and being teh youngest outta of 4 kids ,i was te most suffered, Why because , growing up , i was utterly femmine and to most fathers not just latin, but any race a boy who is femme is the kiss of death of their eyes. Sad but true....Im not saying all dads are like this but many are. Being forced to leave home at 13 and struggling in the streets , encountering and expierancing things a child shouldnt , or no one should for that matter. Was beyond a harsh reality for me. I often wonder How , why , am i still here, after all that i had to endure and the brusies the expirances had left me faded but the lessons of the wounds taught me and i am i a m thankful for that. Your maily will heal trust, me it takes time aloot of time,, it might hurt which i m sure it is,, but be strong find faith in somthing weather its a higher power or energy to guide you through and trust me you will , It did for me,.. I wish you the utter best.....

[Legend]

Suicide or escorting isn't the solution for anything,your parents blessing would be cool but in order for you to acheive any kind of happiness you have to be yourself regardless how your parents or anyone precieves you,trust me.I've been depressed and suicidal before but all i really needed was someone to talk too.

I was at one point afraid how my family would perceived me because i like transsexuals and one day it was really put to this test because my little sister actually looked at this forum and i was freaking out but someone i highly respect on this forum told me not to stress out about it because people will always called you names,i'm so glad she told me that because my sis hasn't even mentioned it since.My point is that i bet you love your family but you probably want to be your true self with their blessings which is understandable.Now i don't care how anyone precieves me even my family.

[justatransgirl]

Victoria - you are a lovely girl. I saw your pictures. And your story has been repeated so may times. Just try to be yourself as much as you can.

Most of us go through the same feelings you have. Today I was/am very depressed about several things - I turned my phone off for the first time since I started escorting.

Do you live in a rural area or metropolitan? Are there any GLBT support groups nearby? There may be groups in Sydney or Melbourne you could talk to by phone.

Or it's more expensive (long distance) but please feel free to go to my web site and call me anytime if you need to talk to someone. (I'll turn my phone back on.)

If you will PM me I'll give you Jessica's private e-mail and you can talk to her - she went through the same thing. She came out at 13 - and much like I guess Jennifer went through, her dad thought he'd toughen her up and make a man out of her. You should hear her stories of torture about going "camping." Giggle. (Think "Paris Hilton" in the Outback...)

Her father found out she was living as a girl at school and pulled her financial aid for college. Now 5 years later we've finally been able to afford for her to go back to school full-time to finish her bachelors.

It may take years for your parents to accept you. Especially if they have no support or education about gender. The problem our families face is that "we" understand what's going on - but they have no clue and usually nobody to talk to except a minister who is usually exactly the WRONG person.

Do you know about TSRoadmap.com? There's a lot of information there for both you and for you to help them.

Just hang in there honey, and know that you are not alone. And you will grow beyond your present situation.

And be very carefull when you are starting to escort until you learn the ropes, this is your most dnagerous time.

Hugs,
TS Jamie :-)

[yodajazz]

I think that everyone has given some good advice. There are people that will accept you as you are, while others may take time. Find the ones who do. The larger the city, the larger the community. I agree with seeking out GLTB youth support groups, mental health counselors, or anyone that you can talk to. The struggles of today will make you a stronger and better person of the future. The best stories are those who had to struggle to get where they were going. Our prayers are with you.

[Night Rider]

DO NOT COMMIT SUIDIDE..trust me im young but ive had my fair share of downs...

ur a beautiful girl and from ur posts u seem really nice and down to earth so get help for this depression and enjoy ur life! im sure ull look at this some day and think i cant believe i was feeling like this!!

[Star]

Thankyou everyone. It helps a bit hearing from people, i dont how, but it does.

especially thankyou to Janira and Jamie! THANKYOU! its good to hear from other girls coz they, ultimetely, know how im feeling and what im going threw, coz they would have went threw the same.

Im going to try and look into different ways i can help myslef, off the internet.

...and its true, one of the most things thats hurting methe MOST is that my parents dont accept me, and are even prepared to disown me and forget about me.

[Wombat]

Thankyou everyone. It helps a bit hearing from people, i dont how, but it does.

especially thankyou to Janira and Jamie! THANKYOU! its good to hear from other girls coz they, ultimetely, know how im feeling and what im going threw, coz they would have went threw the same.

Im going to try and look into different ways i can help myslef, off the internet.

...and its true, one of the most things thats hurting methe MOST is that my parents dont accept me, and are even prepared to disown me and forget about me.

I don't know where you are located at the mo (still in Adelaide?), but every major city has help lines for the transgender community. A quick search through the White Pages should turn something up. Generally they are free services and they should be able to help you out.

If not, then you always have HA for support. :wink:

Wombat

[Legend]

Im going to try and look into different ways i can help myslef, off the internet.


Good for you Star. A good therapist in your area is the place to start. Another piece of advice, you may want to put the whole escorting thing to the side for now. Work on yourself (with the help of a professional therapist) first.

Good advice.

[JANIRA]

You are welcome sweety,, i know it seems hard and like there is no end, i used to think if my family wont accept me nobody will.... and it was in some ways it was like that. Time heals all wounds.. actually now my family and i are very close and they have asked me to forgive them for what ever went down. Sweety it takes time, just dont go and make irratic choices that might make things worst, i have been in your shoes as well as many other tgs. Sucide is "NOT" the answer star, There is so much beauty to life, as to heartache,, You have much to learn , i just hope your life is full of more joyus times then sorrow. Remember your family doesnt understand, but that does not give the the right to abandon or reject you. If you ever need any advise or someone to talk dont hesitate. Love and light to you!

[Night Rider]

..

[elo]

Maybe Tyrosine,an amino acid,could help you in adition.Its sometimes adopted for light depresions.Its supposed to function elucidative on mood.

[CORVETTEDUDE]

Hang in there, Victoria. You're going to be fine. Keep in mind "YOU" selected the road you're on because what you feel inside tells you it's the correct road. Your family, friends and the general public have a tough time dealing with it. They don't feel it and, therefore, don't understand it, making it difficult for them to empathize with, or support your decision. The road will be hard and lonely at times, but that does not mean you are on the wrong path. It's really tough for and individual to handle on their own...seeking the proper help and advice will help you get through this. Be yourself, be proud of who you are and the path you're on...everything will be fine.
:grouphug