( Caution ) Venting Thread

[TopHeavyCutie]

Hi Gals & Lads,

I just wanna vent a lil bit about fellow transgender people.


I'm not the type of person that makes snide remarks and rude comments every 12 seconds. I am a VERY easy & cool person to get along with. ANYONE for which whom is on my friends list...rather it be Yahoo or MSN or otherwise can vouch for that. I am type of person that can tolerate GREAT amounts of even the snidest or most obnoxious persons, And still keep a smile on my face. Just part of common etiquette I guess. But it would seem that a VAST amount of TG/TS people are NOT that way. It is most perplexing! Of all the bullshit and turmoil that we TS/TG face everyday, Just to live as we feel we should, is not enough it seems, to protect us from being canabalized by OTHER TS/TG. And thats what I do not understand. It seems like most TG/TG that have progressed in their transition to a point where passability is not an issue, seem to be stuck up and snobbish. Or worse yet..Money orientated. CONSTANTLY in the frame of mind that competition is the primary objective of all TS/TG. Lemme tell ya...That ain't the case. If you do a theory test on any profile of a TS/TG on an IM or myspace type site, Not only hungangels.......They all say...NO OTHER TS/TG....or people that like TS/TG need not apply. And again...I do not understand. How can you..yourself being a TS/TG....Be so prejudice towards your own kind. I can't find myself to be that. I can be friends or internet friends with ANYONE. I just cannot find myself to be prejudice towards my fellow sistas/brothers. And I dont see how other TS/TG could either. If we dont make an attmept to treat ourselves better FIRST, Then how can we expect society to do the same. And its very SAD, that it has to be thought up as such :(

I dunno......Maybe I missed a step in the process someplace or just readin it all wrong, but I just dont get it.

Maybe someone could help explain it.

[pairodoxxx]

As an outsider, I have always wondered the same thing.

[Hara_Juku Tgirl]

I dont think it's prejudice. I think it's mostly about TS/TG's NOT wanting to deal i.e. with "get to know" guys who chases after any girl with a dick between her legs. Either that OR they are simply saying they are not interested in another TS/TG who "might" be trying to hit on them? But who knows? Everyone has their reasons..;)

~Kosses.

HTG

[mazstahj]

One of the things that has continually amazed me about the transgender community, ever since I've even a little aware or involved in it, is just how arrogant, insensitive, prejudicial, and even down right closed minded so many Transgendered ppl are. It's startling. The first few times I experienced this I chalked it up to a few bad apples, but, sorry I have to say it, a lot of TG's are like this. I've brought it up a few times in conversation, but its always an incredibly dicey subject, so I'm glad the topic was broached here, by a TG. Some will immediately attack you with all sorts of explanations or excuses for why certain ppl act how they do. Typically, it's about how someone like me is "insensitive" and does not and cannot understand the TG plight. Well, where I come from you treat others as you wish yourself to be treated. I'm sure there are sociological ad psychological excuses for the behavior where the victim becomes the attacker, but the hypocrasy of a group who is so prejudiced against by closed minded idiots predjudging others closed-mindedly, is jaw dropping (pun intended, a little brevity is always a good thing :0), and really inexcusable.

[TopHeavyCutie]

It doesnt matter WHERE you look Silvester. The CLOSED TG/TS frame of mind exsists. Besides. with that mentality. Whom really wants to look?

[evilash]

Hi Gals & Lads,

I just wanna vent a lil bit about fellow transgender people.


I'm not the type of person that makes snide remarks and rude comments every 12 seconds. I am a VERY easy & cool person to get along with. ANYONE for which whom is on my friends list...rather it be Yahoo or MSN or otherwise can vouch for that. I am type of person that can tolerate GREAT amounts of even the snidest or most obnoxious persons, And still keep a smile on my face. Just part of common etiquette I guess. But it would seem that a VAST amount of TG/TS people are NOT that way. It is most perplexing! Of all the bullshit and turmoil that we TS/TG face everyday, Just to live as we feel we should, is not enough it seems, to protect us from being canabalized by OTHER TS/TG. And thats what I do not understand. It seems like most TG/TG that have progressed in their transition to a point where passability is not an issue, seem to be stuck up and snobbish. Or worse yet..Money orientated. CONSTANTLY in the frame of mind that competition is the primary objective of all TS/TG. Lemme tell ya...That ain't the case. If you do a theory test on any profile of a TS/TG on an IM or myspace type site, Not only hungangels.......They all say...NO OTHER TS/TG....or people that like TS/TG need not apply. And again...I do not understand. How can you..yourself being a TS/TG....Be so prejudice towards your own kind. I can't find myself to be that. I can be friends or internet friends with ANYONE. I just cannot find myself to be prejudice towards my fellow sistas/brothers. And I dont see how other TS/TG could either. If we dont make an attmept to treat ourselves better FIRST, Then how can we expect society to do the same. And its very SAD, that it has to be thought up as such :(

I dunno......Maybe I missed a step in the process someplace or just readin it all wrong, but I just dont get it.

Maybe someone could help explain it.GGs are jus like dat too, they always say women really hate each other an i think it true cause they always talkin smack behind each other back, same shit, whoes prettier, who dress better, who has better boyfriend ect... same shit, different clit.

[slinky]

Would you say this is consistent or inconsistent with a theory about TS's being narcissistic?

[justatransgirl]

I agree THC. There is a lot of animosity and fragmentation in the TS community. To the point where many of us pretty much avoid the community and other transsexuals.

We need to come together as a community, as the gays have, but the thing is many of us don't / can't relate to the other members of this community. Simply having boobs and a dick doesn't make us sisters.

To further complicate things for many this period of transexual transition is simply that, a binary transition from male to female. For others it is a permenant state of existance, a third gender.

There is the TS/TV/CD//prostitute/porn sex crowd who's lives revolve around sex, drugs, abuse, fast money, jail, good times, and for too many a meaningless death in the gutter.

There is the "I'm a profesisonal, my life is wonderful and I would never associate with low life whores," crowd - mostly comprised of people who are older right wing conservatives who have good careers, own their homes, retirement, health insurance and all the rest.

There is the TS social worker/activist crowd - which like most social workers have no clue about those they serve.

There is the "I'm a victim of transsexuality" mental case crowd who are on disability and welfare and often have no hope of anything beyond homelessness, hospitals and jail.

There are the very passable femme young trans women who do not relate to anything trans, do not accept anyone who isn't 100% passable, and are as bigotted in their own way as any other segment.

And the post-op / stealth crowd who doesn't acknowledge the existance of the rest either because they got sick of the BS, or have simply moved on.

And this is why we don't have civil rights protections - why many for many TS's even going to the bathroom is an issue. It is why we are jailed with men, to be raped and mentally destroyed. Why the government and LE continutes to get away with abusing us as people.

The way I see it, until we can somehow come together and accept each other whatever our perception or catagorization, we can't expect to be accepted by the haters.

Hugs,
TS Jamie :-)

[yodajazz]

It doesnt matter WHERE you look Silvester. The CLOSED TG/TS frame of mind exsists. Besides. with that mentality. Whom really wants to look?

I think that there are some spiritual principles lacking in the community, and in society in general. 1. Treat other people the way you want to be treated. 2. Don’t judge other people so harshly. But it seems to me that many judge themselves harshly as well. Someone might love them as they are but they will seek further physical perfection anyway. Too many have to justify themselves as comparing their looks to others, rather than their own character.

I place a lot of blame on the religious community, for making sexual behavior a more important part of morality than it should be. They don’t reach out enough to teach people that ethical behavior will lead to a more satisfying life. They don’t really teach that as you give, so shall you receive. Religious people are so busy trying regulate sexual expression, and judging it, too many people in our community don’t try enough to look at the bigger spiritual picture, and just go for themselves.

That's my rant. THC, I think you're on too something, thanks for speaking your mind.

Excellent post above, Justatransgirl!

[TopHeavyCutie]

Thank you YodaJazz.


I just call it like I see it :)

[mikejones]

Interesting thread THC. I have seen this as well. TGirls are very competitive with each other, and it can create some nasty scenes. When I go to the club with my GF she is routinely harassed in the bathroom by the other TGirls. She is small and thin, and sometimes is afraid to go in there if she knows there are some other girls watching her.

One weekend I was out of town and she went to the club with a friend of hers (another TGirl). After leaving the club they were attacked in the parking lot by six girls. Her friend had her nose badly cut and had to go to the hospital. It was very scary.

[62des]

Good to know there's still some down to earth TG out there HeavyCutie and that thinks outside the box. I've notice the same thiing.

[peggygee]

I agree THC. There is a lot of animosity and fragmentation in the TS community. To the point where many of us pretty much avoid the community and other transsexuals.

We need to come together as a community, as the gays have, but the thing is many of us don't / can't relate to the other members of this community. Simply having boobs and a dick doesn't make us sisters.

To further complicate things for many this period of transexual transition is simply that, a binary transition from male to female. For others it is a permenant state of existance, a third gender.

There is the TS/TV/CD//prostitute/porn sex crowd who's lives revolve around sex, drugs, abuse, fast money, jail, good times, and for too many a meaningless death in the gutter.

There is the "I'm a profesisonal, my life is wonderful and I would never associate with low life whores," crowd - mostly comprised of people who are older right wing conservatives who have good careers, own their homes, retirement, health insurance and all the rest.

There is the TS social worker/activist crowd - which like most social workers have no clue about those they serve.

There is the "I'm a victim of transsexuality" mental case crowd who are on disability and welfare and often have no hope of anything beyond homelessness, hospitals and jail.

There are the very passable femme young trans women who do not relate to anything trans, do not accept anyone who isn't 100% passable, and are as bigotted in their own way as any other segment.

And the post-op / stealth crowd who doesn't acknowledge the existance of the rest either because they got sick of the BS, or have simply moved on.

And this is why we don't have civil rights protections - why many for many TS's even going to the bathroom is an issue. It is why we are jailed with men, to be raped and mentally destroyed. Why the government and LE continutes to get away with abusing us as people.

The way I see it, until we can somehow come together and accept each other whatever our perception or catagorization, we can't expect to be accepted by the haters.

Hugs,
TS Jamie :-)

Jamie, as per your usual you have covered most of the salient causes
for our being such a fragmented community. I particularly like the way
that you have summarized the different segments of the community.

As a middle aged, post operative woman I have struggled with what
should be my place in the transcommunity, if any. Indeed for many
years I put myself through an self-imposed exile.

However on one of the original points:




And thats what I do not understand. It seems like most TG/TG that have progressed in their transition to a point where passability is not an issue, seem to be stuck up and snobbish. Or worse yet..Money orientated. CONSTANTLY in the frame of mind that competition is the primary objective of all TS/TG. Lemme tell ya...That ain't the case. If you do a theory test on any profile of a TS/TG on an IM or myspace type site, Not only hungangels.......They all say...NO OTHER TS/TG....or people that like TS/TG need not apply. And again...I do not understand. How can you..yourself being a TS/TG....Be so prejudice towards your own kind.



I believe that one of the reasons that some transwomen are so
standoffish, and off-putting is that there may be a constant barrage
of people that are coming at them in a sexual predator fashion, ie
treating them like a fetish object.

This behavior doesn't just come from the 'so called chasers', but occurs
quite a bit with cross dressers and transvestites. Though at this point I
would like to point out that if a transwomen is approaching another TS,
it usually isn't for the same fetish reason as outlined above.

And finally the sad reality is that some transwomen haven't learned good
coping mechanisms to deal with unwarranted advances, or to deal with
many of the issues that Jamie has outlined. Thus unfortunately their
responses to stimuli and events in life may be innapropriate.

[BeardedOne]

I believe that one of the reasons that some transwomen are so
standoffish, and off-putting is that there may be a constant barrage
of people that are coming at them in a sexual predator fashion, ie
treating them like a fetish object.

Maybe it's a pheremone thing. :shrug

Seriously, while I confess to having a fetish interest (Hell, we =are= conversing on a forum called Hung Angels), I do make some attempt to be respectful and not glom on to people as some sort of stalker/pervert. Yet the more I think about it the more I wonder if there is some sort of chemistry that draws me to transgendered people in a way similar to that which seems to make me a dating target of lesbians (Something I have enjoyed, but never understood).

I have found that I tend to approach TS more confidently than I do any other people and, in turn, have experienced the wall of ice that some project as their defense. Perhaps it is a too-direct approach on my part or, as stated above, their own lifelong experience at deflecting fetishists.

<Ponder> The cats are fighting. I hate having ADD. :roll:

[dan_drade]

In all walks of life there are assholes out there. It does not matter if they are TG's, GG's, Men, Gays, Str8's, Lesbian's or any other race or community. But the good news is that there are many more nice people in every group and you just have to find them. On a personal level, I have met in person and chatted online with many more nice T-girls than bitch girls. Just dont forget that assholes are everywhere, you just cant get away from them.

[youcancallmeclaire]

I have no problems with other trans girls. As with all people, I tend to make fun of the ones who do and say things that cause cultural evolution to trip backwards over its own heels.

[drock]

I think it all stems down to this and no subject matter expert.. But I think it could be because most trans consider themselves women and just like it annoys most heterosexual GG women to be hit on by homosexual women it could be along the same lines for trannies and why some of them would wanna distance themselves from other trannies..

Who knows though everybody has their own flava..