Relationship problems......

[moddestmike]

I hate to bore you fine ladies and gentlemen with my issues as they are rare but complicated when they arise.
So me and my girl have been together for about a 2 years or so and have grown really close. I havent felt this way about a girl since I was 10, I'm 23. Well shes in the Army and I have been able to remain faithful for the entire time she has been stationed elsewhere throughout the world. Well this March she returned from Iraq after recieving a small shrapnel wound to the head (non-life threatning). We agreed that we both felt that we could spend the rest of our lives together and we should start making plans to do so. Last week I find out she selectively extends her tour in Iraq another year and will be extended in Korea the year after. RIGHT AFTER WE DISCUSSD OUR PLANS. I asked her what does she expect from me and she states that I should remain faithful the entire time she is gone. She then callsme the next day and says she choked me in her dream because I was cheating on her (yeah I know shes crazy but thats why I like her). Now I have no problem being faithful when its required, as I have no desire to be with another woman. But to ask me to remain faithful when she selectively chose to put our realationship at risk seems a bit selfish to me. I love this woman with all my heart and I would like to marry her, and according to her she feels the same way but I dont know if I can take another 2+ years of being alone. I'm in college and everyday I pass up some of the most beautiful women I've seen in order to sustain a healthy realationship. I have written ALL of her papers for school and she does not have to pay for ANYTHING. I dont feel as though she owes me for those things as I have done them out of love, but its killing me inside knowing that its highly likely that she could be killed upon her return to Iraq. I am literally on the verge of insanity and dont know what to do. I have told her how I feel but she insists on going back. I swear if this realationship does not work out, I'm done for good. My wives will be exotic cars upon me finishing law school. I need advice gals and guys.

[tsntx]

you need to sit down and think to yourself if this is the girl you REALLY wanna spend your time w/ ... she doesnt seem like someone id want to... extending her tour when she had a free way out, w/o even talking to you about it... shows shes more selfish then anything and you need to decide if shes the right girl for you.... tho it sounds like youve already come to that conclusion as well

[lostinasia]

You pass up beautiful women ???????? Maybe you should learn what is more important in a relationship than beauty and sex

It's highly likely she'll be killed in Iraq ????? OOhhhhhhhhh PLEASE !!!!!!!!!!

How many female military have been killed ?

How many military total are there and what are the total deaths !?

I was there and I'm not dead

Look at reality and not the fantasy you seem to be living in

[gunn]

Love is suppost to be a give and take.But it looks like your doing all the giving and she's doing all the taking.It all comes down to if your willing to take this for the rest off your life because she sounds like the controling type,and thats not going to change.Shes clearly in total control of the relationship.Makeing choices like that means she belive she can do what ever she wants and you will just bitch for some time and go along with it. You need to get a handle on things.I belive she does not respect you because your a pushover,head over heels in love with her and becaues of this she belives she can do what she wants.People like that dont understand words only action.You must stand up for yourself now and let her know that even though you love her your not getting what you want out of the relationship and she needs to rethink her plans if she wants to save the relationship.NOW by doing this you stand the risk of loosing her,because your giving her an ultimatum.But it's a chance you must be willing to take if you want her to ever take you seriously.GOOD LUCK MAN.

P.S IF THIS RELATIONSHIP DOES NOT WORK AFTER CRYING YOUR EYES OUT DONT GIVE UP TRUE LOVE IS OUT THERE.

[moddestmike]

You pass up beautiful women ???????? Maybe you should learn what is more important in a relationship than beauty and sex

It's highly likely she'll be killed in Iraq ????? OOhhhhhhhhh PLEASE !!!!!!!!!!

How many female military have been killed ?

How many military total are there and what are the total deaths !?

I was there and I'm not dead

Look at reality and not the fantasy you seem to be living in
FTR she is the bishops bodygaurd. She has been shot at on many occassions, I think recieving a shrapnel wound from a carbomb is about as close as she NEEDS to come to death. Its obvious that YOU live in a fantasy wworld if you think that there is no way in hell that the chances of her getting killed are higher there than here. You really need to think before you post. Since you are not dead, you are obviously the alpha male. Sorry we are not all like you but its obvious you have your own issues to deal with so leave mine alone. Its also obvious that you have never loved a woman enough to care about her well being. Not all of us "fuckem and leave'em" champ.

[peggygee]

Have you thought about marrying her, and being with her once she
is in Korea. I do realize that you are in law school, and that could be
an inconvenience.

Women have been waiting for men to return from battle from time
immemorial. Currently there are many men waiting for their wives
and loved ones to return as well.

If she is really 'the one', then hopefully you two can work this situation
out.

By the by, you may want to let her start writing her own college papers,
you may feel that you are helping her but in the long run, you are doing
her a disservice.

[moddestmike]

As far as femal deaths in Iraq here you go: http://icasualties.org/oif/female.aspx

Looks like enough to me, I dont want my love to end up on that list. Lostinasia, you really need to get a clue. Look at the reasons for death. I.E.D. , the EXACT same thing that could have killed here before. She still has a small piece lodged within her skull. I dont know why but you have really pissed me off.

[El Nino]

Dude, obviously she will be cheating on you overseas, if she hasn't already. Snap out of it. This is just a realistic viewpoint. When a girl is in heat, nothing will stop her from satisfying her loins! Plus, what the hell are you doing on a tranny board if you are Mr faithful over here? Trends like these tend to morph into actualities you know...

[peggygee]

As far as femal deaths in Iraq here you go: http://icasualties.org/oif/female.aspx

Looks like enough to me, I dont want my love to end up on that list. Lostinasia, you really need to get a clue. Look at the reasons for death. I.E.D. , the EXACT same thing that could have killed here before. She still has a small piece lodged within her skull. I dont know why but you have really pissed me off.

I can perfectly understand why you are fearful for your significant other.
She is in a war zone, half a world away. She has been injured. And then
to compound that you may feel that your future with her is uncertain.

As a veteran myself (of another war) I can somewhat understand her
decisions. While in the militiary she will be accruing many benefits,
educational, career wise, etc. The choices and sacrifices that she makes
today may aid her for a lifetime.

While you may indeed get good advice from the forum, I would also
suggest that you discuss the situation with other people whose
judgement you value.

[moddestmike]

Dude, obviously she will be cheating on you overseas, if she hasn't already. Snap out of it. This is just a realistic viewpoint. When a girl is in heat, nothing will stop her from satisfying her loins! Plus, what the hell are you doing on a tranny board if you are Mr faithful over here? Trends like these tend to morph into actualities you know...
I post here because SOME people tend to be a bit more realistic and gentle when discussing. If I were to post this on a local car forum I visit. I would be called everything from a pussy to retard. Guys like to play tuff 24x7, I have no problem expressing my emotions. I just get tired of guys acting as f they have never gone through smething similar. I'm starting to believe I should just give up and lay low for a while.

[Vala_TS]

Please everyone, don't hate me for saying this.

I think you should call it quits with her, any woman who will treat you like that will treat you like that forever.

Plus, most women who sign up for that sort of thing are usually masculine in personality (and sometimes in appearance as well).

Vala,[/list]

[Legend]

Please everyone, don't hate me for saying this.

I think you should call it quits with her, any woman who will treat you like that will treat you like that forever.

Plus, most women who sign up for that sort of thing are usually masculine in personality (and sometimes in appearance as well).

Vala,[/list]

Why is it every time you give bad advice or say something stupid you beg people not to hate you,from your past post you are the last person that should be giving relationship advice.If this guy loved that girl he would wait regardless of temptation and stop acting so selfish when she is fighting for our country putting her life at risk.

How can you of all people talk about anyone being masculine in appearance as an insult,you look like that bodybuilder character jim carey played on in living color,for someone to be a nutcase with a weird ass fetish you are the most judgemental person on this forum.Maybe you should worry about trying to pass as a girl instead of trying to botch someone else's relationship with bad advice.

[peggygee]

Plus, most women who sign up for that sort of thing are usually masculine in personality (and sometimes in appearance as well).

Vala,[/list]

I have read many preposterous and ludicrous statements on this forum.
This one is clearly in the top ten.

Your statement is based on a totally unfounded stereotype, that any
woman that enters into what had been a predominantly male environment,
should have her sexuality or appearance questioned.

Having been in the militiary, knowing many women while in, currently
knowing many veterans of all branches, who have served during many
different time periods, I must point out that your statement is totally
devoid of merit.

I realize that at 18 years of age that there are many aspects of life and
the world that you are not versed in. Thus I would strongly
encourage you to broaden your realm of knowledge.

[Vala_TS]

Plus, most women who sign up for that sort of thing are usually masculine in personality (and sometimes in appearance as well).

Vala,[/list]

I have read many preposterous and ludicrous statements on this forum.
This one is clearly in the top ten.

Your statement is based on a totally unfounded stereotype, that any
woman that enters into what had been a predominantly male environment,
should have her sexuality or appearance questioned.

Having been in the militiary, knowing many women while in, currently
knowing many veterans of all branches, who have served during many
different time periods, I must point out that your statement is totally
devoid of merit.

I realize that at 18 years of age that there are many aspects of life and
the world that you are not versed in. Thus I would strongly
encourage you to broaden your realm of knowledge.

You'll forgive me for saying this (hopefully) but I don't have a high opinion of those folks. All the military types around where I live are honorless assholes who'll say or do anything to get you to sign up. And yes, the woman who works at their post looks and acts like a man. And no, I wasn't hanging around them, I heard the stories from my brother's friends of how they were pestered by them and tried to make them sign up.

Vala,

[peggygee]

You'll forgive me for saying this (hopefully) but I don't have a high opinion of those folks. All the military types around where I live are honorless assholes who'll say or do anything to get you to sign up. And yes, the woman who works at their post looks and acts like a man. And no, I wasn't hanging around them, I heard the stories from my brother's friends of how they were pestered by them and tried to make them sign up.

Vala,

I will concede that some recruiters can often come across like
unscrupulous used car salesmen. And that a few can tarnish
the image of all of them.

Vala, what I'm about to say isn't just about this post, or even specifically
directed at you.

I realize that people may have opinions about all types of things in
life. Be it sports, religion, politics, or even the topic of transgenderism.

Ideally when we have an opinion we will have a modicum of knowledge,
or background on that topic. This knowledge can be acquired by
observation, reading, or by participation.

For me I try not to speak of things that I don't have an intimate or working
knowledge. Of things that I don't have knowledge I seek it out, and
attempt to acquire a level of proficiency or understanding.

Now this is the part that does apply to you. Whether in your quest to
transition, or in other of your life's endeavours, try to be armed with
the information that will help you to succeed.

http://i92.photobucket.com/albums/l2/magi43/einsteinbike_205.jpg

[Legend]

Plus, most women who sign up for that sort of thing are usually masculine in personality (and sometimes in appearance as well).

Vala,[/list]

I have read many preposterous and ludicrous statements on this forum.
This one is clearly in the top ten.

Your statement is based on a totally unfounded stereotype, that any
woman that enters into what had been a predominantly male environment,
should have her sexuality or appearance questioned.

Having been in the militiary, knowing many women while in, currently
knowing many veterans of all branches, who have served during many
different time periods, I must point out that your statement is totally
devoid of merit.

I realize that at 18 years of age that there are many aspects of life and
the world that you are not versed in. Thus I would strongly
encourage you to broaden your realm of knowledge.

You'll forgive me for saying this (hopefully) but I don't have a high opinion of those folks. All the military types around where I live are honorless assholes who'll say or do anything to get you to sign up. And yes, the woman who works at their post looks and acts like a man. And no, I wasn't hanging around them, I heard the stories from my brother's friends of how they were pestered by them and tried to make them sign up.

Vala,

Excusing your idiotic nonsense with more idiotic bullshit,LOL@you not having a high opinion about anyone,i'm sure everyone has such an high opinion of you NOT all you do is judge people with your screwed up ideology and beg them not to hate you like a fucking dumbass,you are a fucking worthless piece of judgemental shit who will probably be a miserable person for the rest of your worthless life.From now on i'll just sit back and watch you make a complete ass of yourself on your own.

[BlackAdder]

I got your answer right here....

From your description shes a fucking nut.....Get yourself long gone from her..

Dude, seriously?? Are you dumb??? You cant be dumb cause your in law school...maybe your just socially retarded.

Shes an army rat, a combat, I say COMBAT rat no less...When i was in we never even THOUGHT about getting involved with the girls that were on active duty...especially leg girls. Your better off dating a cop or maybe another corp lawyer, you know...low stress jobs that are known to be successful in relationships..


Tool

/sarcasm

[moddestmike]

Please everyone, don't hate me for saying this.

I think you should call it quits with her, any woman who will treat you like that will treat you like that forever.

Plus, most women who sign up for that sort of thing are usually masculine in personality (and sometimes in appearance as well).

Vala,[/list]
This is a stereotype that is far from the truth. I cant speak for other women but my gir actually used to participate in teen pagents. Shes not masculine or openly dominant in anyway. Very softspoken, soft skin, emotional woman. She's from Trinidad and is probably the most beautiful woman I've have met. I'm going to continue to give it a shot because she always been truthful with me up until this point. And for those insiting that I'm selfish, I think serving 4+ years is more than enough. Hell when I got my Bachelors in Engineering I contemplated going in as an Officer to get into Combat Flight School. AFOQT scores were above average and my recruiter who was developing my package hounds me until this day. I also support the MAIN reason for being in Iraq, but I will never be the same if something happens to her. I have no problem admitting I'm foolishly, blindly, head over heels in love with this woman. She even said that if she had to, she would propose to me. Thats how I know shes somewhat interested.Its just the simple fact that she did not disuss this with me that has me highly upset.

[tsntx]

Please everyone, don't hate me for saying this.

I think you should call it quits with her, any woman who will treat you like that will treat you like that forever.

Plus, most women who sign up for that sort of thing are usually masculine in personality (and sometimes in appearance as well).

Vala,[/list]
This is a stereotype that is far from the truth. I cant speak for other women but my gir actually used to participate in teen pagents. Shes not masculine or openly dominant in anyway. Very softspoken, soft skin, emotional woman. She's from Trinidad and is probably the most beautiful woman I've have met. I'm going to continue to give it a shot because she always been truthful with me up until this point. And for those insiting that I'm selfish, I think serving 4+ years is more than enough. Hell when I got my Bachelors in Engineering I contemplated going in as an Officer to get into Combat Flight School. AFOQT scores were above average and my recruiter who was developing my package hounds me until this day. I also support the MAIN reason for being in Iraq, but I will never be the same if something happens to her. I have no problem admitting I'm foolishly, blindly, head over heels in love with this woman. She even said that if she had to, she would propose to me. Thats how I know shes somewhat interested.Its just the simple fact that she did not disuss this with me that has me highly upset.

regardless of her wounds or job... she doesnt seem to be great wife much less gf material based on your OP... stop pittying her and move on and save yourself both heartache and money down the road.... -j

[TJT]

Was she like this before the head injury? Those things can have a delayed effect.

[Trogdor]

To quote Tom Lycus:

Ditch the Bitch

She does not sound like GF/wife material as stated. Plus I got a feeling she's gonna, or is already, going to find some hoodlem to shack with already, and she's been thinking of croacking ya in her dreams, I think she already head a problem with her head before the head wound :roll: .....she's going to be watching you night and day, like a sitcom dad does with his teenage daughter. Plus most millitary chicks I know always picked their career over their significant other, male or female.

Hell, I was close to a girl in Georgia for 3+ years and the week I was gonna see her, she dropped a bombshell that she went off with some army guy, since she wanted to be in the millitary BADLY, she figuered that dude would help her get in.

Luckily it failed and they are now devorced. :twisted:

:idea: :arrow: But yes, I say leave her and don't be her smegging doormat anymore.

[dgtlmstry]

Why are you seeking relationship advice here? That should be your first question. Your judgment is obviously clouded, and that means you are more than likely not thinking clearly about your situation. Are you in love with her? If so, why? Be honest with yourself man.

I am former military, did time in Kuwait, and the chances that she has shacked up with someone are quite hi. It's really an environment that is perfect for it. It's a temporary duty, you are stressed, and you guard is down (relationship wise) so you can easily hook up with someone you wouldn't otherwise hook up with. Also that 'dream' she had, is more than likely her guilty conscience. If she hasn't already cheated, she might be dealing with some serious urges to do it. But you know what, even if it turns out she has been faithful to you, her decision to extend without talking to you about it, and after your conversation about being together, is proof enough of where she is right now mentally. Marry her???? Don't be a fool bro.

[TomSelis]

All I can say is her having a dream about choking you is something Freud would have a field day with. Her choking you is a symbol of aggression and frustration.

Meaning: She probably already senses that you are having doubts, but she doesn't want you to say it.

I'm not going to offer advice though, take the interpretation as you will.

[house]

You need to stop kidding yourself. Its an unhealthy relationship that won't really go anywhere. First sign should have been you writing all her papers and paying for her. Second is that she felt ready to commit AFTER her shrapnel wound. And i don't know anyone on the planet who would give up hot girls for some girl away in iraq, let alone the second time around for 2 years. It doesn't really sound like much of a relationship. It sounds like she's keeping you around b/c you've been helpful and a good fallback option. You think a girl goes to war surrounded by a 10:1 ratio of guys to girls and never does anything for 2 years? Wake up.

[Vala_TS]

You need to stop kidding yourself. Its an unhealthy relationship that won't really go anywhere. First sign should have been you writing all her papers and paying for her. Second is that she felt ready to commit AFTER her shrapnel wound. And i don't know anyone on the planet who would give up hot girls for some girl away in iraq, let alone the second time around for 2 years. It doesn't really sound like much of a relationship. It sounds like she's keeping you around b/c you've been helpful and a good fallback option. You think a girl goes to war surrounded by a 10:1 ratio of guys to girls and never does anything for 2 years? Wake up.

Finally! Someone said what's needed to be said.

Vala,