Nice Guys Will ALWAYS fail..............................

[JohnnyWalkerBlackLabel]

This guy named David D'Angelo wrote a book and I found excerpts of it on the net and decided to make a post about the main topic, because it's true.

Nice Guys will always fail with women. It doesn't matter if it's a genetic broad or a trans gendered dame, they'll always fail.

I'm going to post some things he wrote and I'm hoping the men & women reading can help me dissect it so we can do something rarely ever done: agree on HA on a topic.

Here's a list D'Angelo wrote about women not making sense

1) Women make decisions very, very quickly about whether a man is going to be "just a friend" or if he has romantic potential, and once her decision is made, it's probably going to stay made.

2) These decisions are made "unconsciously", meaning that women make all of them quickly and at a "gut level".

3) If you know how, you make her feel attraction feelings rather than "friend" feelings.

4) The way to do it is to stop acting "nice" and start acting, well... something else... and I don't mean "not nice".

#1: True. I give a woman a New York minute (and thats more than needed) to decide whether or not she's going to even be bothered giving the guy (or girl) the time of day.
#2: True: I almost said false but knowing how we men think about women unconsciously I had to agree.
#3: Makes no fucking sense to me. If a dude knew how to make a broad feel attracted to him there would be no need for D'Angelo's book, let alone this thread.
#4: TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! As much as I hate to say it, it's just a well known fact.

But please: copy & paste that list and give me your insight.

He went on to add this:

As much as many women would hate to admit it, there's something very attractive about a man who is just a little more confident than he should be. And if you combine this with the right amount of humor, you have a magic combination that will charm almost any woman.

Here are a few ways to use this idea:

1) When you first meet a woman, tease her about something. It doesn't matter what it is, as long as you do it early on.

For instance, you might say: "So what's with the big purse? Are you carrying a gun in there?" or maybe "Those are some pretty tall shoes, what are you like 4' tall without them?" If you tease a woman, it shows that you're not intimidated by her, and that you have a fun sense of humor.

Key: Make sure you say something FUNNY. If you don't know how to be funny, get a book on it. The test: If she's not laughing, then it wasn't funny!

2) Look around at other things and seem kind of pre-occupied when you first start talking to her. Make your funny remarks with a carefree, detached tone. You want to sound like you're talking to your best friend.

Attractive women are approached all the time. It's not attractive to a woman when you look like you've just met Madonna. This "just a little too confident" attitude is very attractive to women... especially when it's combined with humor.

3) Don't answer her questions directly. Women love to ask questions like: "What do you do?" and "Where do you live?" and "Tell me about your family". Answer with funny answers, and don't give her what she wants.

Most guys say "Oh, I'm an engineer" or "I'm a stock broker". BORING, BORING. If she asks what you do, say "Oh, funny you should ask. I'm a Calvin Klein Underwear Model... What do you do?..." (This is especially funny if it's OBVIOUS that you are NOT a model.) Do you get it? Keep it up and keep her laughing.

It's important to remember that I'm not telling you to be mean, or to be a jerk to women. I'm telling you to start being confident, funny, and mysterious.

Ok please feel free to respond in a reply. I'd love to hear your take on this.

Here's mine (and keep in mind I'm one of the most sarcastic men on the planet)
#1. I'm not teasing a woman.......................period. I tease Allanah but that's ONLY BECAUSE she teases me 1st. We have that understanding and know each other. When we met I didn't look at her overly expensive shoes and say "how many cows died to cover that foot, bitch?!?" She would have cursed me out and walked away. But now???? Hell I'll use that on her bday, LMAO. My point is that shit might work if you're David Beckham, or Brad Pitt, hell even Denzel, but Joe Schmoe????? Don't even fucking try it!!!!!!!!!!!!

#2. The 1st paragraph is DEAD ON ACCURATE. I refuse to ever stare at a chick longer than 5 seconds. For one I'll find a flaw, it's just a curse I have, and secondly I'm not trying to freak a chick out.

The 2nd paragraph needs work. I'm sorry to say this but the only time in my NYC journeys that I've ever seen attractive women approached on the regular was at a lesbian bar. Get it?!? Men don't approach drop dead gorgeous dames on the regular. If they did there would be little to no need for those mandingo sized dildo's sold worldwide via AdamandEve.com......

#3. YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BE MYSTERIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He was right on this one. You bastards think a chick wants to hear that you're head of accounting for Kinko's?!? NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She wants to fuckin know what you do you tell her after that 3rd late night fuck session when she's done that thing with her leg over your..................nevermind you get the gist.

Hopefully we can keep this thread going. It would be fun to get views from you all.

[LG]

Good post. The key is being a decent guy but not a "nice guy". Many women end up marrying "nice guys", but often they will date a couple of dozen assholes before they do so. It's because "nice guys" might seem to needy or too clingy or too eager to please.

My own behaviour towards women has changed. I'm still respectful, still a decent guy, but I like to use humour a little bit more in my approach. I try to seem less keen, try to make the girl realise I don't need her but that I'm worth talking to.

So I don't tell girls I'm a consultant anymore. I might tell them that I'm the kind of guy who gets paid to tell people how to run their businesses and that it's better than real work. Or I might tell them that I'm a working on a novel, possibly a great novel, am halfway through the second chapter and it's shaping up better than my last six unfinished masterpieces. If they ask me why they should be interested in me, I tell them that I'm intelligent, witty, handsome and very, very modest. It's vital to smile when one says this all. Often it all works in my favour.

I think you can be funny without teasing a girl. Like you, I would never tease a girl I had just met. But if I know her well, I might say anything. The irony gloves are off.

As for approaching women, most men just don't do it. I have a problem in that I can't talk very loudly, so am at a disadvantage in noisy clubs, but in a small crowd things are different. I have finally overcome my shyness, too. And I think we guys should approach girls. We all think that the girls might reject us if we do approach them, and as a result we're all left to look on when some guy does and often succeeds. If you don't buy a lottery ticket, you can't win the lottery.

In the end, sadly the guys who do approach girls are those who don't give a shit about anything. Often, these are the real whack-jobs. One very beautiful girl I know seems to be a real asshole-magnet, having dated a succession of real nutcases. I believe these are the only men brave enough to approach her. Sad but true.

It's a shame that we decent guys never take the plunge.

[tsntx]

If they did there would be little to no need for those mandingo sized dildo's sold worldwide via AdamandEve.com......

oh you mean the one you let them mold you for? i use mine like a slinky down the stairs... its really fun!

[hwbs]

u can look good and still be stuck in the dreaded friend zone... u gotta have the gift of gab...i used to be the shyest guy in the world...also always in the fz...one day i just decided i just don't give a fuck..its just something u have to work on...if u are quick witted then the less nervous u will be...its kinda like going to a car dealership and coming off too anxious...BOO THE FRIEND ZONE !!!!! :P

[KiraHarden]

I agree most nice guys are afraid to speak or have no gift for gab. The bad boys are more confident, and know what they want in a woman ,and how to speak to us and get us attracted to them sexually, as well as emotionally. ME BOY YOU GIRL! i love when they approach me with MACHISMO attitude, and swagger.

I met this Guy (firefighter) from Myspace, we set up a meeting in a local bar, I was with some GF that night so i said why dont you come meet us.
He was one of the best looking men i have met (Wisconsin fireman Calender guy of year). It was not so much his looks, or body, but the way he talked to me, and made me feel. that made me want to date him. he swept my girlfriends off there feet as well that night...
Kira

[Dkg]

with me I found out that my window for being nice is around 2-3 weeks. Still though this isn't necessarily true. If a girl is attracted to you and your personality then all it would take is the right setting, words, etc and that "friend" look could easily change.

Also, not all women want jerks for boyfriends. It's ok to be nice but you can't act like just a friend. you have to show interest in her sexually.

[JohnnyWalkerBlackLabel]

If they did there would be little to no need for those mandingo sized dildo's sold worldwide via AdamandEve.com......

oh you mean the one you let them mold you for? i use mine like a slinky down the stairs... its really fun!

lol, bitch........................................

;)

[Nooksack]

1) Women make decisions very, very quickly about whether a man is going to be "just a friend" or if he has romantic potential, and once her decision is made, it's probably going to stay made.

2) These decisions are made "unconsciously", meaning that women make all of them quickly and at a "gut level".

3) If you know how, you make her feel attraction feelings rather than "friend" feelings.

4) The way to do it is to stop acting "nice" and start acting, well... something else... and I don't mean "not nice".



1. I don't doubt that #1 is a true statement as well, considering that guys do it so often. However, I think that it still depends upon the woman. I think that in many cases this is true, but in others, it doesn't have to be. I've been in enough situations that being stuck in the "friends zone" has had some nice results. it lets you get close enough so that when jackhole #1 fucks up, they realize that they can depend upon you. Maybe it's a myth, but I don't find the women that I hang around with to be shallow enough to not realize a good thing when they see it. As a result, I have dated a number of them a bit after we actually met. Granted it doesn't always work out that way, but I'm a patient guy, too.

2. Ahh well... True

3. I hear that rufies work well... so do some other psychotropic drugs, but other than that and hypnotism, I don't think this author knows what the fuck he's talking about here.

4. You can be nice without being a goody-two-shoes. I guess I'm kinda lost. Is he saying "be an asshole" or "just don't be nice?"





2nd group

1. Ok, I guess it's just my naturally flirty nature, but I won't kick it off with talking to a woman and making fun of her. It might take me a few minutes to feel her out, but I'm not gonna start diming her out about what she's wearing or her hair or whatnot. Sounds like a great way to get a drink thrown in your face. "Hey babe, how many children slaved in China so you could wear that dress?"... I don't think that's going go over well. But maybe a good-natured jibe about what she's drinking... "sex on the beach? Sounds like someone's a little needy..." could go a long way towards breaking the ice. Or it could backfire horribly, lol.

2. I don't agree with this one at all. I like to make an d keep eye contact. Eye contact is a hallmark of confidence. While I won't stare her down and will look around and at other things, I think that a woman appreciates when she knows I'm paying attention to her. Please tell me if I'm wrong ladies. I'm not saying that I'm leering at her, but I will appear to listen. I may not actually be listening, to everything, but I can put up a good facade.

3. I will agree here! Being obtuse is some of the most fun that you can have with people. You don't even have to tell them something totally off the wall. In my experience, in a town where there is a high proportion of military people, you always get the "Special Forces" play. Me, I like to go for cook... sanitation engineer (janitor)... ballboy for the minor league baseball team... streetwalker... Keeping things fun is key, because if you can make her smile and laugh, then you're scoring points.


But I think LG hit it best by saying that you don't need to be an asshole, just be decent. Not nice, decent... although where does one draw the line?

[hondarobot]

Interesting topic. I actually prefer the "friend zone". I have no desire to be some Alpha Male, keeping my women in line, blah blah. I like going to strip clubs, having girls on my lap, then going home. I do not like getting hit on the head with a rolling pin.

I can't deal with the drama of striving to be personally responsible.

[tonkatoy]

I finally had to accept that I am an asshole at heart, so I don't try to pretend to be nice anymore. Actually I think I am a nice guy, but I do tease women, because it is the easiest way to make conversation, and you wind up talking about them, which is what they wanted to do in the first place. But I have only been in a few serious relationships, and most of them were because the girl made the first move. I defiantly think women have the upper hand when it comes to dating. My trouble is I usually wind up pissing them off in short order, but I guess sooner is better than later.

[Tomfurbs]

Personally, I think looking for the 'answers' in a book is not going to get you anywhere. Being yourself (that does not mean being nice) and being confident with who you are will get you much more attention than trying to put on an act. There is nothing less sexy to a woman than a man with a repertoire of 'moves' and 'counter-stikes'.

Hell, I'm no expert in these matters but you pick stuff up when you live in a cramped flat with three screaming biatches!

[whatsupwithat]

Ah-hah!

:roll:

Good thread, JWBL.

[TJT]

Have you ever seen this D'Angelo guy at work? The BBC had him in a documentary about attraction. He was trying to string together words that sounded like penis and put them into conversations.

It was hilarious. The women were he approached were staring at like the loon he is.

I wouldn't pay much attention to him.

Here's a painless,can't fail method to pick-up women; lift with you legs and keep your back straight.

That'll be 25 bucks.

[Odelay]

Personally, I think looking for the 'answers' in a book is not going to get you anywhere. Being yourself (that does not mean being nice) and being confident with who you are will get you much more attention than trying to put on an act. There is nothing less sexy to a woman than a man with a repertoire of 'moves' and 'counter-stikes'.

Hell, I'm no expert in these matters but you pick stuff up when you live in a cramped flat with three screaming biatches!

I totally agree, Tom. There's no substitute for just "being yourself". Self-awareness is sexy to many women, not faux-confidence. If you're comfortable within your own skin, you don't have to be an asshole, nice guy, or anything else other than yourself.

And as a test... if you're frustrated with how all the assholes get the girls, then you obviously have some issues. Get thee to a therapist.

[BrendaQG]

The turn off of a "nice guy" is a guy who is only acting nice. Unless you are a really good actor you just come off as full of it or creepy. Just be yourselves and the right woman will be receptive to you. There's no trick to it.

I for one would be impressed with a man who is head of accounting at Kinko's corporate. Who better for a geek than another geek.

[Tomfurbs]

Cheers for that great contribution ^^

[crayons]

The biggest problem with "nice guys" is that they think just because they are nice, they will automatically get the girl. They think turning on the "nice" charm will somehow intoxicate a woman with the AXE effect.

The thing that "bad boys" do right is their confidence, cockiness and cheekiness. I'd rather have a brash guy daringly ask me to dance that some geek come quivering with embarrassment, stuttering his words hardly able to even mouth what he wants that I have to help word the request for him.
uckin
I'm a woman. I want a man. And when I'm with a man, I want to feel like a woman.

EG. How many threads here have you seen where guys say stuff like "C'mon girls, clue us in". Seriously, how old are you that you still cannot figure what a woman wants? Sorry, there are too many perpetrators in this world. Like I said before, that bullshit about "everyone is correct its just an opinion of mind" is out the window. Your in a competition and time is running out. Fuck right or eat last.

Peace out!

[Rod la Rod]

1) Women make decisions very, very quickly about whether a man is going to be "just a friend" or if he has romantic potential, and once her decision is made, it's probably going to stay made.

2) These decisions are made "unconsciously", meaning that women make all of them quickly and at a "gut level".

3) If you know how, you make her feel attraction feelings rather than "friend" feelings.

4) The way to do it is to stop acting "nice" and start acting, well... something else... and I don't mean "not nice".

Here is my suggestion:

1. Don't be fat.
2. Don't be bald.
3. Don't wear clothes from Walmart.
4. Above all, always be rich and drive an expensive car.

Actually if you have 4, 1-3 can be overlooked.

[Ecstatic]

u can look good and still be stuck in the dreaded friend zone... u gotta have the gift of gab...i used to be the shyest guy in the world...also always in the fz...one day i just decided i just don't give a fuck..its just something u have to work on...if u are quick witted then the less nervous u will be...its kinda like going to a car dealership and coming off too anxious...BOO THE FRIEND ZONE !!!!! :P
Ah, the friend zone. Hollywoodbuckstrap, I know it well. I've lived in that zip code a very long time. Fortunately, I've also been married a very long time, so it's not a big issue to me, but if I were single it would be. People often tell me I'm "too nice." It's a curse. :roll:

[hwbs]

i am very nice..it has nothing to do with being a dick...when i say not caring , i dont mean i insult everyone in sight...i just mean quick on your toes with a joke ..i think another thing is that i dont take myself too seirously and have no problem making fun of myself..if someone says they dont care about the FZ , they are probably knee deep in it :wink: .


this all comes from experience...i found myself there my whole teens till my early 20''s...i dont ever want to go back... the funny thing i was talking to GIA last night bout this same topic , lmao..

[Tomfurbs]

I kind of agree with you, but my post didn't say 'be a nice guy'. I was just saying be yourself. A confident man is attractive, he doesn't have to be an arsehole (often is but does not have to be).

[suckseed]

The best way to be attractive to women is to already have one. You're in the club.
What i do get, not only from this but from a similar thing one of the mods said a few months ago, is not to be too 'dazed by the pussy.' For me that can be a challenge, but the good news is just taking that advice to heart has helped my attitude. A lot of what seems to be an extremely well-put-together woman is really the fact that she spends a lot more time getting ready than we men ever will.
For me, the holy grail is a woman who I don't have to fake being interested to listen to, and is emotionally stable. Ha!

[Tomfurbs]

No, if you bother to read the thread you will find that second quote is not me .

[chefmike]

Nice Guys will always fail with women. It doesn't matter if it's a genetic broad or a trans gendered dame, they'll always fail.

Duh...

[BrendaQG]

Cheers for that great contribution ^^

Brenda made a point above, that she would take a guy working at Kinko's. But if you think about it, if a woman really wanted that hard working guy at kinko's struggling with paying off his tuition and still attempting to get that degree, women would be in those areas such as Barnes & Nobles, or the Poetry recitals and Art Museums, etc. They don't go there because that's not what they want. They prefer the asshole.

Woah woah. I said I would date the man who is the head of accounting for Kinko's. You know the corporate comptrollerThat person would have to be loaded! :D

[Trogdor]

I kind of agree with you, but my post didn't say 'be a nice guy'. I was just saying be yourself. A confident man is attractive, he doesn't have to be an arsehole (often is but does not have to be).

Being yourself does not work. If it had, I'd have been a pimp from high school. Being oneself does not gaurantee getting the babes. In school, the guys who got girls were the football heros on the teams, the emos, the goths, and rednecks.

Same thing going today. The punks, jerks, gangbangers and other hoodlems. Over here in Southeastern Michigan, it's pretty much the guys who drink alot of beer, have tattoos all over their arms, are drummers in some no-name rock band, works only enough to buy their smokes & beer, and have some sort of prior arrest record....often being domestic abuse.

I agree with Unisex compleatly on this, apart from that the girls still keep going to these hoodlems even after so much shit occurs.

Seems like chicks these days WANNA end up like Witney Houstan or Britney Spears and became total trainwrecks.....like it's become some sorta of status symbol to become fucked up in the head. Though they better not come to me for a shoulder to cry on, since I'll just slam the door in their face or call the police cause of harrassment. These fucked up chicks made their beds, let them lay in it now. :P

This site tells it all in spades, especially the ladder theory :arrow: www.intellectualwhores.com

[Trogdor]

Cheers for that great contribution ^^

Brenda made a point above, that she would take a guy working at Kinko's. But if you think about it, if a woman really wanted that hard working guy at kinko's struggling with paying off his tuition and still attempting to get that degree, women would be in those areas such as Barnes & Nobles, or the Poetry recitals and Art Museums, etc. They don't go there because that's not what they want. They prefer the asshole.

Woah woah. I said I would date the man who is the head of accounting for Kinko's. You know the corporate comptrollerThat person would have to be loaded! :D

I can just picture guys scratching her off their lists now. :roll:

[suckseed]

Look...whining about how no women ever go for you serves no purpose but keeping you in 'victim mode.' Is that what you guys really want? If so, carry on. Nobody wants to sit and listen to somebody wax on about how rough they've got it. You can't generalize about women anymore than, say, men, black people or transexuals...of course people do though.

If you want to attribute your single status to your religion, lifestyle, or how nice you are, then in my opinion you are simply failing to change up your routine. Work on getting a good female friend and then you can get her feedback. Put up an ad on Craigslist in the 'just friends' section. Offer to take someone to a good museum exhibit -the new Bodyworlds one comes to mind
http://www.bodyworlds.com/en.html - or your activity of choice.

I advertised on CL and went out with seven different women in the past eight months. I met, in order, a bitter divorcee who lived above her ex, a hot 28 year old Lisa-Loeb-ish girl who I failed to dazzle (but with whom I learned that yes, your date will expect you to pay for dinner lol), a drunk, a tiresome yakker, an attention-seeking social climber, a Barney Rubble tranny, and, finally, a really cool woman who owns her own house in the mountains on 20 acres who plays guitar and sings really well, is teaching me about real estate, and loves to be fucked as much as possible and wants to find a woman for a threeway. She makes three times what I do and couldn't care less what I do or how much I make. She tells me I'm the first man she's ever dated who never talks down to her. And I've never met a woman whose hooha gets gooier when I'm goin' south.

I didn't attract her by changing who I am, getting a fancier car (which would be hard to do since I already drive a Dodge Grand Caravan minivan), getting ripped at the gym, buying happenin' clothes or taking Dr. Wiggly's Magical Dick Growth Elixir. I just kept trying.

Bottom line: If you want a friend, and you should, advertise for that. If you really want pussy, rent it. Any sexual encounter will help you with your moves and attitude. If you want a girlfriend, be willing to work to find her.
Some athletes are naturals, and some have to work their ass off. But they all get in the game.

[mbf]

Interesting topic. I actually prefer the "friend zone".

as if u had another option....

friend zone? wtf, Men and Women CANT be friends . sex is ALWAYS interfering, unless theres a big age- or attractivity-gap

[KiraHarden]

Suckseed
That was very well put

Kira

www.myspace.com/kiraharden
www.youtube.com/kiraharden
http://groups.yahoo.com/groups/kirharden

[suckseed]

friend zone? wtf, Men and Women CANT be friends . sex is ALWAYS interfering, unless theres a big age- or attractivity-gap

What the hell is wrong with finding a female friend sexually attractive? I've had great friendships like this. And gotten some occasionally as well. If you limit your friendships to women who don't attract you at all...that's kind of dumb. It's not like you can't control yourself even if you want your friend. Amirite?

[mbf]

friend zone? wtf, Men and Women CANT be friends . sex is ALWAYS interfering, unless theres a big age- or attractivity-gap

What the hell is wrong with finding a female friend sexually attractive? I've had great friendships like this.

well, if u can be friends with someone u find sexually attractive - fine for you.

i cant

[suckseed]

Shee-ite man....going out with a hot female friend is a great way to get noticed by other women. Plus she can help you size up the ones you like, maybe even steer them your way.

[breastyy]

oh god this is so true

i seem to have a just friend aura around me lol .....girls seem comfortable chatting me never intrested in more

[BuuBear]

I'm a nice guy.... And I can't change that. And I wouldn't if I could. SO if that means I'm destined to be alone... I'll just suffer then.

[Trogdor]

Shee-ite man....going out with a hot female friend is a great way to get noticed by other women. Plus she can help you size up the ones you like, maybe even steer them your way.

Slight problem, I go to the babe, cool as a cucumber, ask her out and THEN I get the standard ~inserts Monty Python actor in drag voice~ "I like you alot, but can't we just be friends? I'd hate to risk ruining what we have now" speech.

See, that's the slight problem I got, just asking someone out on a date results in the speech I hate more than anything else. :roll:

If I ever meet God, I'm kicking that fat fuck in the nuts. :P

[castabyss]

I would have to say that teasing women is a risky proposition at first. Many will cut you off the moment that happens. I am funny, however, and find that once a woman recognizes that, the teasing thing works better because she already knows you're just kidding.

CA

[mbf]

what annoys me about "the nice guy" often is, that they will just take any BS from their girls without making clear that its time to just stop now.

apart from that i really cant stand the self-proclaimed "nice guy" who is so busy telling or showing everybody just how friggin nice he is. an odd form of vanity in fact.

and then, i doubt that there are really many genuine "nice guys" out there. most to me are just pretenders. if u talk to them all alone, when noone is listening, they r just as much of an asshole as most other people.

apart from that the "nice guy" often seems to me a guy that is not really attractive, or funny, or witty. and beeing "nice" then is whats left to - possibly - attract a chick.

[rick_932]

4) The way to do it is to stop acting "nice" and start acting, well... something else... and I don't mean "not nice".[/list]


alot of guys always sleepin on this main point. they think that by being constantly nice to a chick, always complimenting her, buying her gifts, doing shit for her, and taking shit from her, that she'll eventually be attracted to him and fall in love with him. that may work on TV and in the movies but this is reality. if shes not feeling you in the first place, then she wont be feeling you anytime later. time for males to wake up

[JohnnyWalkerBlackLabel]

for the record I used D.D'Angelo's topic as a focal point, I never said take him walking on the street hitting on chicks as the focal point for this thread

moving on


what annoys me about "the nice guy" often is, that they will just take any BS from their girls without making clear that its time to just stop now.

apart from that i really cant stand the self-proclaimed "nice guy" who is so busy telling or showing everybody just how friggin nice he is. an odd form of vanity in fact.

and then, i doubt that there are really many genuine "nice guys" out there. most to me are just pretenders. if u talk to them all alone, when noone is listening, they r just as much of an asshole as most other people.

apart from that the "nice guy" often seems to me a guy that is not really attractive, or funny, or witty. and beeing "nice" then is whats left to - possibly - attract a chick.

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANKS DUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hit the nail right on the fuckin head, no one wants to hear that shit from you nice bastards

lol





4) The way to do it is to stop acting "nice" and start acting, well... something else... and I don't mean "not nice".[/list]


alot of guys always sleepin on this main point. they think that by being constantly nice to a chick, always complimenting her, buying her gifts, doing shit for her, and taking shit from her, that she'll eventually be attracted to him and fall in love with him. that may work on TV and in the movies but this is reality. if shes not feeling you in the first place, then she wont be feeling you anytime later. time for males to wake up

THANK YOU ALSO DUDE

fucking excellent replies so far people, keep it up

[innavoice]

I think having zoned and been zoned numerous times.....i think a BIG part of it is this...

If your a nice dude...it's cool..but if you have a a lilttle edge....don't hide it for 2 yrs and then let it all out at once.

Women wanna see some edge...some social texture in a man. If you wait TOO long...and she begins to think your "different" and you've solidified yourself as a nice guy....when it DOES show it's face.....it's like SUDDEN IMPACT.

You might not see it as much...to her your a stranger all over again.

Her system crashes...she reboots.....and you have to start the download process all over again....not to mention Norton's restores upon startup.

[mbf]

for the record I used D.D'Angelo's topic as a focal point, I never said take him walking on the street hitting on chicks as the focal point for this thread

moving on


what annoys me about "the nice guy" often is, that they will just take any BS from their girls without making clear that its time to just stop now.

apart from that i really cant stand the self-proclaimed "nice guy" who is so busy telling or showing everybody just how friggin nice he is. an odd form of vanity in fact.

and then, i doubt that there are really many genuine "nice guys" out there. most to me are just pretenders. if u talk to them all alone, when noone is listening, they r just as much of an asshole as most other people.

apart from that the "nice guy" often seems to me a guy that is not really attractive, or funny, or witty. and beeing "nice" then is whats left to - possibly - attract a chick.

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANKS DUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hit the nail right on the fuckin head, no one wants to hear that shit from you nice bastards

lol





4) The way to do it is to stop acting "nice" and start acting, well... something else... and I don't mean "not nice".[/list]


alot of guys always sleepin on this main point. they think that by being constantly nice to a chick, always complimenting her, buying her gifts, doing shit for her, and taking shit from her, that she'll eventually be attracted to him and fall in love with him. that may work on TV and in the movies but this is reality. if shes not feeling you in the first place, then she wont be feeling you anytime later. time for males to wake up

THANK YOU ALSO DUDE

fucking excellent replies so far people, keep it up

a neverending source of entertainment can be seen when there are two "nice guys" trying to "out-nice" one another lol

ive witnessed that occasionally and its always a blast :lol:

[Tomfurbs]

Surely the key is... whatever you choose to be... make sure it is not a performance, but has some genuine feeling behind it, because girls have a very sensitive BS metre.

[Realgirls4me]

Nice guys who look to shallow, hollow women who prefer players will always fail. If one is looking at cobras, why, pray tell, are they so surprised when they are bit by them?

Hello?

[tgirlzoe]

I said in another thread that there is a fine line between "geeky cute" and "simply pathetic". Biggest thing I've come to appreciate at this point in my life are guys who are actually mature. You don't have to have a full-on career and actually being career-driven is a turn-off for me. Just don't be a bum and don't expect me to be your mother ~ this goes for nice guys as well as jerks who are often immature and actually looking for a woman to keep them in line.

Self-confidence is good but having a gooey center under the crunchy outside is better. Girls know that guys have feelings and they want guys who will open up to them, they don't want a guy who is too distant and leaves them feeling alone. On the other hand, they don't want a man-child who relies on her to take care of his emotional distress all the time.

My philosophy has always been "be yourself" and it's gotten me plenty of guys, girls and tgirls. I'm not married yet, indeed I am purposefully single at the moment, so obviously I haven't found the perfect match for me. Be a little mysterious, be a little dangerous, be a little sensitive, be a little confident, but most of all just be yourself. Reading a book on how to meet women is, as they would say, "totally lame".

Some people who were total failures dating in high school blossom afterwards. Other people who were very popular fall apart. Me in high school was very interesting. I wasn't in transition because my parents had strictly forbid me from doing it but I was out as trans to my friends and everybody knew I was gay.

I had girls coming on to me, what the hell? I asked my sister about it because it's weird because it's very obvious I'm gay. She said that she didn't understand it (she always liked more dangerous guys) but girls saw me as "safe" and "non-threatening". This can happen when girls swing back after their rebellion of dating jackholes.

Nice guys get screwed over, it's true. It's not so much directly by women but they get screwed over by other men all the time and women will make comments about guys as a group, just as guys will make comments about women, but there are a lot of decent people out there who don't fit those negative stereotypes.

Jerks may seem to get more tail but nice guys get married. Don't be trash, respect yourself and respect other people, be mature and be yourself.

My $0.02.

[hondarobot]

Final answer: Everybody Wang Chung tonight.

Going out. I think I just might fuck a stripper. Heh.

:)

[Trogdor]

I said in another thread that there is a fine line between "geeky cute" and "simply pathetic". Biggest thing I've come to appreciate at this point in my life are guys who are actually mature. You don't have to have a full-on career and actually being career-driven is a turn-off for me. Just don't be a bum and don't expect me to be your mother ~ this goes for nice guys as well as jerks who are often immature and actually looking for a woman to keep them in line.

Self-confidence is good but having a gooey center under the crunchy outside is better. Girls know that guys have feelings and they want guys who will open up to them, they don't want a guy who is too distant and leaves them feeling alone. On the other hand, they don't want a man-child who relies on her to take care of his emotional distress all the time.

My philosophy has always been "be yourself" and it's gotten me plenty of guys, girls and tgirls. I'm not married yet, indeed I am purposefully single at the moment, so obviously I haven't found the perfect match for me. Be a little mysterious, be a little dangerous, be a little sensitive, be a little confident, but most of all just be yourself. Reading a book on how to meet women is, as they would say, "totally lame".

Some people who were total failures dating in high school blossom afterwards. Other people who were very popular fall apart. Me in high school was very interesting. I wasn't in transition because my parents had strictly forbid me from doing it but I was out as trans to my friends and everybody knew I was gay.

I had girls coming on to me, what the hell? I asked my sister about it because it's weird because it's very obvious I'm gay. She said that she didn't understand it (she always liked more dangerous guys) but girls saw me as "safe" and "non-threatening". This can happen when girls swing back after their rebellion of dating jackholes.

Nice guys get screwed over, it's true. It's not so much directly by women but they get screwed over by other men all the time and women will make comments about guys as a group, just as guys will make comments about women, but there are a lot of decent people out there who don't fit those negative stereotypes.

Jerks may seem to get more tail but nice guys get married. Don't be trash, respect yourself and respect other people, be mature and be yourself.

My $0.02.

Girls have burned me so often, marriage is out of the question.

And even if I wanted to marry, that means a guy needs to wait who knows how many years, know what I mean.

And I was cursed as the nice guy in high school....so many female friends, but nothing more.....no date, no high school sweetheart, no prom, nothing.....zero.

I pretty much never had a 'teenagehood' and I wanna find a way to get to live at least some of what I could/should have had. Any ideas how to do this? I don't wanna settle down from a life that's......well............ feels very settled.

One thing I CAN'T WAIT for is when these bad boy chasers start to get in their 30's, and spend the rest of their lives alone with maybe a pet. Cause I seen some of these girls so change.......they get fat, have a few rotten kids from the bad-ass ( and daddy's no where to be found ), and pretty much become an old sow. At least that will be a bit of a refreashment when karma strikes. Cause when these girls become like that, they decide to go to a 'back-up' plan. They go to those decent fellows that they ignored or pretty much used as a therapist/stooge and will assume, "Hey, that guy who liked me, but I never bothered to give him time of day is still around....SURELY he'll still want me after all these years!" Well, I dunno know about you, but being a 'last resort' is not a good thing and nothing to be flattered about. So should I myself see any of these washed-up crackpot girls, they are gonna be eating wood when they get the door slammed in their face.

I myself am about to call it quits on American women and go for foreign babes from places like eastern Europe or Asia.

And to girls who love their bad-asses......just remember.....a hoodlem is still and always going to be a hoodlem. :P

[Trogdor]

Final answer: Everybody Wang Chung tonight.

Going out. I think I just might fuck a stripper. Heh.

:)

Find me a raven-haired one, and I'll join yas. 8)

[irishgirl]

[
One thing I CAN'T WAIT for is when these bad boy chasers start to get in their 30's, and spend the rest of their lives alone with maybe a pet. Cause I seen some of these girls so change.......they get fat, have a few rotten kids from the bad-ass ( and daddy's no where to be found ), and pretty much become an old sow. At least that will be a bit of a refreashment when karma strikes. Cause when these girls become like that, they decide to go to a 'back-up' plan. They go to those decent fellows that they ignored or pretty much used as a therapist/stooge and will assume, "Hey, that guy who liked me, but I never bothered to give him time of day is still around....SURELY he'll still want me after all these years!" Well, I dunno know about you, but being a 'last resort' is not a good thing and nothing to be flattered about. So should I myself see any of these washed-up crackpot girls, they are gonna be eating wood when they get the door slammed in their face.

I myself am about to call it quits on American women and go for foreign babes from places like eastern Europe or Asia.

And to girls who love their bad-asses......just remember.....a hoodlem is still and always going to be a hoodlem. :P

Dude, seriously, the pity party needs to stop. You sound like a fucking asshole. You call yourself a "nice guy" but you're basiclly a bitter dick who wants to see women suffer. You have too many women who are freinds? Guess what - you don't fucking need to be thier freind if you dont want to!

Cool qoute about Nice Guys


It's the "you're not entitled to something" attitude that has always, in my experience, been the sticking point for the Nice Guy.

The ones I've actually talked with (generally whining on the internet about how they can't get a girlfriend) seem to have this notion of Woman As Vending Machine / Arcade Game. If they just figure out which buttons to push, then Woman will Put Out. And they're pushing the buttons that they're supposed to, but Woman is not lighting up the right little "Score!" buttons. That asshole over there is pushing buttons and lighting the whole system up! Damnit, this Woman is broken! They tried up-down-up-down-left-right-left-right-B-A-stat, too, did someone give them the wrong cheat code? The last woman said that she liked this, why doesn't this woman respond to it?

None of the Nice Guys I've ever tried to talk to seem capable of believing that women aren't issued with a standard cheat code that will open them up to whoever gets the button sequence right. And the cheat code is Their Right, Damnit. The woman is incidental.

[Trogdor]

Dude, seriously, the pity party needs to stop. You sound like a fucking asshole. You call yourself a "nice guy" but you're basiclly a bitter dick who wants to see women suffer. You have too many women who are freinds? Guess what - you don't fucking need to be thier freind if you dont want to!

What, ya want me be treat people who treated me like crap as if they were the greatest people to walk the earth? :smh

Sorry if I offended you by not wishing to be someone's smegging doormat.

And I just like seeing the ones who treated me badly get their just deserts, not all women, so I'll have you not put words in my mouth, mmmkay?
:crap :footinmouth :screwy

[Fetish Fanatic]

I agree with what one person said about having a woman makes other women want you. I was in a club one night, I don't even like clubs mind you. I just think people there are phoneys. Anywayz I was meeting a girl there that night. But I coudln't find her at first, so there was this chick I asked her to dance. And she looked and walked away from me like i was the nastiest lookin thing in the club..

So I finally find my chick friend, and I guess other people seen that I was with her including the girl who rejected me.. So I go over to the wall and just chill. Next thing I know the same girl from earlier comes over and starts grinding her butt on my crotch.. At that point i'm like wtf?!? Then she just walks away, I dunno was i supposed to follow the skank? lol Some people just got issues overall.

Anyway as far as the good boy bad boy thing. I know for a fact that i'm in between. I am very caring by nature, and i care about people. On the same token I often think with my little head instead of the big head. However I am shy, and that does get in the way. Women like guys to take charge and I completly understand that. You just gotta put yourself in there shoes lol...

[tgirlzoe]

Girls have burned me so often, marriage is out of the question.

And even if I wanted to marry, that means a guy needs to wait who knows how many years, know what I mean.

I know I'm getting married. It's not about trying to leech off of some guy, it's not about steady sex, it's about finding stability and completeness, not in a man but through marriage to a man. Call me naive but I still believe in marriage and the family. I definitely have my traditionalist streak and I have no intention of writing my life off to the nihilistic individualist melee.

I have every intention to get married and to have kids. My little sister already got married and has a daughter. I know I'm not ready yet but I will be within the next few years. It needs to be the right guy though. I was engaged a couple years ago (2003-2005) but he wasn't the right guy, it was more that I just needed the stability desperately and to detach fully from my family by becoming part of his family. I'm becoming more picky with the guys I'll go out with now which hopefully means less time dealing with trash and more focus on guys who are actually marriageable.

Two of my housemates are together and have been talking about getting married. If she wasn't with him, I totally would be in an instant. He's intelligent, social, open, has a deep relationship with God, is egalitarian, family-oriented, affectionate, dorky cute and is an all-around nice guy. He may not be the most dominant, aggressive guy but as much of a turn-on as that is in bed to myself and most other women, it tends to be abused far too often. I'd much rather sacrifice that than end up with a jerk.

Men need work. It's a fact of life, if you're going to be in relationship with a man, you are going to need to refine him. It's a lot easier to work with a nice guy to help him be more confident than with an asshole to get him to be more respectful.


And I was cursed as the nice guy in high school....so many female friends, but nothing more.....no date, no high school sweetheart, no prom, nothing.....zero.

I pretty much never had a 'teenagehood' and I wanna find a way to get to live at least some of what I could/should have had. Any ideas how to do this? I don't wanna settle down from a life that's......well............ feels very settled.

Most teenage boys have trouble dating, it's high school for crying out loud, it's a mess! Why would you want to recreate that?

Trash is trash is trash. Both men and women make themselves trash and wonder why they wind up unhappy. Respect yourself and respect other people and you will make yourself a life worth living. It doesn't matter if you are poor or rich. There is a lot of middle-class trash just as much as there is poor trash. I've been working class all my life, I'm used to living on beans and potatoes and hand-me-downs, it doesn't bother me (although it did when I was a kid ~ it's hard to understand why other kids have new toys and clothes and everything we have came from thrift stores and garage sales). The difference is respecting yourself and others even when society doesn't respect you ~ this goes for whether you are gay, trans, female, poor, Black, whatever. That's how you be the type of person that people want to be around as friends or a spouse and that's how you live happy.

[mbf]

Men need work. It's a fact of life, if you're going to be in relationship with a man, you are going to need to refine him. .

good luck, Sisyphus!

[suckseed]

Look. Again, I'm just one man, but here's my two cents on being refined by a woman. I'm not perfect. I do some self-defeating stuff sometimes. If my partner was good at doing things in a way that I could use some help on, great. Lately, I keep my floor of the house cleaner because I have someone spending the night some nights; it's a change for the better. Maybe it's because I made use of various musical tutors over the years, but the bottom line is I don't feel like I know everything or that there's no room for improvement.
If some woman thinks she's going to change me profoundly, however, she's going to be frustrated. In my opinion being organized will make anyone run their life better. You want to help me do what i do better, great. You want me to change everything to suit you, uh uh.
Marriage is for people that want a partner in life, not a fuck buddy.
Personally I will find it a great relief to settle down again. If you think of a partner as eating the same breakfast every day for the rest of your life, well of course you're not going to want that. Ideally it's more like cooking with someone every day and figuring out how to make something even better.
I can just see the diehard bachelors on this forum thinking this is bullshit.
Give it time, guys. When nobody wants to see you take off your shirt and dance, your wife still will, and you can laugh together about the fact that your body isn't perfect anymore.
I've been married in my twenties, and hung out with and boned college age women in my thirties as a musician. I'm glad I have done both, but ultimately having someone that gives a shit about me whether or not I'm flying or scuffling is better.

[peggygee]

Alot of good points from everybody.

I do get the distinction between the 'nice guy and the decent guy'.

Is he's emotionally open, empathetic, is he still a decent guy after we
have been together for a while, or does he start to take me for granted
after the courtship.

For me those would be important considerations.

[Trogdor]

Alot of good points from everybody.

I do get the distinction between the 'nice guy and the decent guy'.

Is he's emotionally open, empathetic, is he still a decent guy after we
have been together for a while, or does he start to take me for granted
after the courtship.

For me those would be important considerations.

:arrow: Now if other chicks could think like you.

[JohnnyWalkerBlackLabel]

I agree with what one person said about having a woman makes other women want you. I was in a club one night, I don't even like clubs mind you. I just think people there are phoneys. Anywayz I was meeting a girl there that night. But I coudln't find her at first, so there was this chick I asked her to dance. And she looked and walked away from me like i was the nastiest lookin thing in the club..

So I finally find my chick friend, and I guess other people seen that I was with her including the girl who rejected me.. So I go over to the wall and just chill. Next thing I know the same girl from earlier comes over and starts grinding her butt on my crotch.. At that point i'm like wtf?!? Then she just walks away, I dunno was i supposed to follow the skank? lol Some people just got issues overall.


Yeah the skank probably wanted you to follow her, cheers for not succumbing to that bullshit.

I wanted to thank you for this reply because I put it to the test last night; and as I humorously pointed out in another thread the shit worked. I had a very very very very cute HA female member approach me last night after she'd mingled and she kept me company which infuriated various heathens at the party. Worked for me, she basically kept all the sometimey, thinks it's all about them broads at bay, which I thanked her for.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh it's nice to read brilliant replies and enact them in your own time.

I owe you a drink Fanatic

[Tomfurbs]

I know quite a few girls who are looking for 'nice guys' (that means no childish egos, inflated sense of self-importance, or obsession with wealth etc).

However, they don't look like the girls in porn, so they don't get half as much male attention as they deserve.

[goldensamba]

I agree most nice guys are afraid to speak or have no gift for gab. The bad boys are more confident, and know what they want in a woman ,and how to speak to us and get us attracted to them sexually, as well as emotionally. ME BOY YOU GIRL! i love when they approach me with MACHISMO attitude, and swagger.

I met this Guy (firefighter) from Myspace, we set up a meeting in a local bar, I was with some GF that night so i said why dont you come meet us.
He was one of the best looking men i have met (Wisconsin fireman Calender guy of year). It was not so much his looks, or body, but the way he talked to me, and made me feel. that made me want to date him. he swept my girlfriends off there feet as well that night...
Kira

If you are a guy dealing with a group of women you must un-arm the entire group. You have to get the mother hen of the group in your pocket first, then you're all good after that.

Anyone who has not seen the show "Keys to the VIP" should check it out. If you have issues with these tings this is a good example of what works and what has no chance. Having grown up with 4 sisters I got my lessons early and often. Really the thing men blow the most is not paying attention!

[goldensamba]

Men need work. It's a fact of life, if you're going to be in relationship with a man, you are going to need to refine him. .

This statment is one of the biggest mistakes Women make. Going into a relationship wanting to change someone will only lead to problems. Why on earth do women aways think they can change a guy or mold him to their way of thinking. A couple of my sisters do this too and I want to strangle them.

[rick_932]

Men need work. It's a fact of life, if you're going to be in relationship with a man, you are going to need to refine him. .

This statment is one of the biggest mistakes Women make. Going into a relationship wanting to change someone will only lead to problems. Why on earth do women aways think they can change a guy or mold him to their way of thinking.

because they see women controlling men in the media and other places. theres a gender war going on in the media. for example, theres more and more commercials popping up with men acting like idiots and dumbasses and the women are the smarter ones, controlling them and their relationship. ive talked to many girls who thought they could take a thug boy and mold him into the man they wanted. how did that turn out? the girls failed at changing their man, got hurt in the process, and now believe there's no good men out there. go fig

[crayons]

Do you think Richard Branson has a hard time finding women for relationships? If not, why do you suppose this is?

[Rod la Rod]

Do you think Richard Branson has a hard time finding women for relationships? If not, why do you suppose this is?

Because he has 2-3 billion dollars?

[hondarobot]

The guy also owns his own island, and will soon have a spaceship. Those things probably work in his favor as well.

8)

[BeardedOne]

Whuf! :shock:

OK, gearing up... :?

Thank gawd for NotePad.


Who better for a geek than another geek.

Brenda, I love you, in a friends sorta way. :D

The classic 'Blonde Joke' goes something like "How does a blonde turn on the light after sex? She kicks the door open.". Yet, truly, both before and after the big bang, I enjoy some nice chat. Silly banter, socio-political discussion. When I was thirteen, an older fellow pointed out to me that "You can't converse with nipples, you can't have a reasonable discourse with a vagina". This is true.


How many threads here have you seen where guys say stuff like "C'mon girls, clue us in". Seriously, how old are you that you still cannot figure what a woman wants?

I'm 49, going on 50, and I still haven't figured out this sick shit. A little help, girls/gurls?


1. Don't be fat.
2. Don't be bald.
3. Don't wear clothes from Walmart.
4. Above all, always be rich and drive an expensive car.

Actually if you have 4, 1-3 can be overlooked.

This is true. When I drove the K-Kar on Monday no one paid attention, but when I was buzzing around in the Silver Shadow on Tuesday they were all over me. Howard Hughes drove a Chevrolet. Run to the mall and buy a clue, ladies.


Ah, the friend zone. Hollywoodbuckstrap, I know it well. I've lived in that zip code a very long time.

Izzat like 02369 or something? Hate it! Hate it! :x


The best way to be attractive to women is to already have one. You're in the club.

I've experienced this one and, being poly, it has been an interesting and certainly a learning experience.


Woah woah. I said I would date the man who is the head of accounting for Kinko's. You know the corporate comptrollerThat person would have to be loaded!

R. David Thomas used to do counter work for Kentucky Fried Chicken (Later, after Harland Sanders told him "You know so much, go start your own damned restaurant!", Thomas went on to found a chain named after his daughter, Wendy), so don't knock lower-level management.


These fucked up chicks made their beds, let them lay in it now.

A woman (GG) that I spent about four years courting and another four years in deep relationship status, made me stop drinking (Because she didn't like how I got when I did) and then ditched me for an alcoholic biker that beat the crap out of her every night on returning home from the bar du jour. Last I heard, they had broken up for the muggledywumpth time yet were still living in the same house and sharing the same bed.

:shrug


Why should his occupational position matter?

Based on the posted references: $$$$ is far preferable to $. 'Nuf said.


and, finally, a really cool woman who owns her own house in the mountains on 20 acres who plays guitar and sings really well, is teaching me about real estate, and loves to be fucked as much as possible and wants to find a woman for a threeway. She makes three times what I do and couldn't care less what I do or how much I make. She tells me I'm the first man she's ever dated who never talks down to her. And I've never met a woman whose hooha gets gooier when I'm goin' south.

Does this woman live in Knoxville? Please tell her to write me, I miss her. :shock:

Seriously, she sounds so much like a 3G (Gay GG) that I spent some time with some years ago. A true puzzle, she eventually went back to her female lover who, so I hear, wasn't all that attentive to her needs. Go figure.


If you want a friend, and you should, advertise for that. If you really want pussy, rent it.

After the bloodbath of my last (Emphasis on the "LAST") relationship
'renting pussy' is the only option left to me (Though, being bisexual and into T-gurls, this broadens the available spectrum quite a bit). As to 'friends', that's another matter entirely. To date, my 'friends' have stuck me with massive debt, unpaid rent, phone bills, utility bills, slanderous reputation, etc. I'd rather buy or rent my 'friends' as many are rather worthless.

DISCLAIMER: Those on board HA know that the above statement is relative to ongoing performance.


>> Kira posts a pic <<

WHOA!!! :shock:

What was I saying?


If I ever meet God, I'm kicking that fat fuck in the nuts.

I have often said that Gawd is a sadistic fuck with a bad sense of humor (An extreme variation on Kate Clinton's revelation that "God is a comedian working for the Marriott Corporation!") and I sincerely want to personally poke the lame-ass motherfucker in the eye. :x


Going out. I think I just might fuck a stripper. Heh.

Oh! Well! You would! :P


Girls have burned me so often, marriage is out of the question.

I gave up on marriage decades ago. Most women either turned me down, blew me off, or, as in one case, didn't even notice that I was interested. At this point, the only reason I am contemplating marriage is to take advantage of the SPECIAL PRIVELEDGES/RIGHTS that enable me to share health benefits and pass on Social Security and retirement benefits. That'sd all it's good for, really.

Marriage is an institution for people that like to live in institutions.


Dude, seriously, the pity party needs to stop. You sound like a fucking asshole. You call yourself a "nice guy" but you're basiclly a bitter dick who wants to see women suffer. You have too many women who are freinds? Guess what - you don't fucking need to be thier freind if you dont want to!

Don't rag on this guy until you've walked a mile in his mocassins. It is this "I like you as a friend" bullshit that has deadended a significant number of friendships that I have had with women/wimmen over the years. And, truthfully, after the bloodbath of my last relationship, yah, I want to see them suffer. Have at it with the drunken bikers, the abusive spouses, the guys trying to sort out their am-I-gay nonsense in their pussies, the babydykes playing the "Oops, sorry, I'm really straight!" sham on theitr emotions.

Oops, sorry, I loved you but you didn't give a flying fart in space about it. End of fucking story! :x


And I just like seeing the ones who treated me badly get their just deserts, not all women, so I'll have you not put words in my mouth, mmmkay?

Yah, I think we share the same list. :?


Next thing I know the same girl from earlier comes over and starts grinding her butt on my crotch.. At that point i'm like wtf?!?

Many, many years ago (1980-something) there was this adorable GG that I so wanted to spend time with. We had some nice moments together, the best that a thousand-mile buffer would allow, but it was all lighthearted friendship. Then, one year, we were at an event near her home and she sidled up and ground her sweet ass into my crotch like tyou wouldn't believe. Then she walked away! :shock: The next morning, we had breakfast together and she said "So, why didn't you take me to bed last night?". In hindsight, I so want to slap her in the face for that. :x

Women have no clue what they want. When they have a clue, they refuse to share it.


Men need work. It's a fact of life, if you're going to be in relationship with a man, you are going to need to refine him.

Definition: The man you're with is never the one you truly want.


If some woman thinks she's going to change me profoundly, however, she's going to be frustrated. In my opinion being organized will make anyone run their life better. You want to help me do what i do better, great. You want me to change everything to suit you, uh uh.

My greatest obstacle, in the cloudy days when I still believed that a relationship was possible, was that most women have no desire to be with =YOU= but in being with who they =WANT YOU TO BE=. They don't want to =REFINE= you into a better person, they want to =CONVERT= you into whatever their fantasy figure may be at the moment. When they run into obvious obstacles along the way, they typically abandon you in favor of the weaker mind that is more susceptable to change. Ergo: The drunken, abusive, lying, cheating asshole.


Is he's emotionally open, empathetic, is he still a decent guy after we have been together for a while, or does he start to take me for granted
after the courtship.

True, there's a comfort zone when the guy seems to feel that the relationship is solid and permanent. I'm guilty of this. Yet, in my defense, when things became rocky or complacent, my lover never, =NEVER= spoke up to say that she was dissatisfied with the relationship or its progress or lack thereof.

WE'RE NOT FUCKING KRESKIN, GAWDDAMMIT! :x

This "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, I'm not going to tell you!" horsehockety has got to fuckling =STOP=!


I owe you a drink Fanatic

Oy! Me too! Guiness works! :wink:


However, they don't look like the girls in porn, so they don't get half as much male attention as they deserve.

Relative. There are gurls in porn that I'd dribble a basketball across a minefield just to touch. Yet, there are also those that cause me to lunge for the DELETE key just as quickly. One of my lovers, a delightful GG that I mentioned above, was no great stunner and, to some, seemed rather manly. Yet she was kind, smart, witty, and could fuck up a storm like you wouldn't believe.

Appearances can be =VERY= deceiving.

Please excuse any severe typos. They are courtesy of Anheuser Busch.

[D'yer Mak'er]

itt: the hopes and dreams of us nice guys everywhere get crushed

[Trogdor]

Whuf! :shock:

OK, gearing up... :?

Thank gawd for NotePad.


Who better for a geek than another geek.

Brenda, I love you, in a friends sorta way. :D

The classic 'Blonde Joke' goes something like "How does a blonde turn on the light after sex? She kicks the door open.". Yet, truly, both before and after the big bang, I enjoy some nice chat. Silly banter, socio-political discussion. When I was thirteen, an older fellow pointed out to me that "You can't converse with nipples, you can't have a reasonable discourse with a vagina". This is true.


How many threads here have you seen where guys say stuff like "C'mon girls, clue us in". Seriously, how old are you that you still cannot figure what a woman wants?

I'm 49, going on 50, and I still haven't figured out this sick shit. A little help, girls/gurls?


1. Don't be fat.
2. Don't be bald.
3. Don't wear clothes from Walmart.
4. Above all, always be rich and drive an expensive car.

Actually if you have 4, 1-3 can be overlooked.

This is true. When I drove the K-Kar on Monday no one paid attention, but when I was buzzing around in the Silver Shadow on Tuesday they were all over me. Howard Hughes drove a Chevrolet. Run to the mall and buy a clue, ladies.


Ah, the friend zone. Hollywoodbuckstrap, I know it well. I've lived in that zip code a very long time.

Izzat like 02369 or something? Hate it! Hate it! :x


The best way to be attractive to women is to already have one. You're in the club.

I've experienced this one and, being poly, it has been an interesting and certainly a learning experience.


Woah woah. I said I would date the man who is the head of accounting for Kinko's. You know the corporate comptrollerThat person would have to be loaded!

R. David Thomas used to do counter work for Kentucky Fried Chicken (Later, after Harland Sanders told him "You know so much, go start your own damned restaurant!", Thomas went on to found a chain named after his daughter, Wendy), so don't knock lower-level management.


These fucked up chicks made their beds, let them lay in it now.

A woman (GG) that I spent about four years courting and another four years in deep relationship status, made me stop drinking (Because she didn't like how I got when I did) and then ditched me for an alcoholic biker that beat the crap out of her every night on returning home from the bar du jour. Last I heard, they had broken up for the muggledywumpth time yet were still living in the same house and sharing the same bed.

:shrug


Why should his occupational position matter?

Based on the posted references: $$$$ is far preferable to $. 'Nuf said.


and, finally, a really cool woman who owns her own house in the mountains on 20 acres who plays guitar and sings really well, is teaching me about real estate, and loves to be fucked as much as possible and wants to find a woman for a threeway. She makes three times what I do and couldn't care less what I do or how much I make. She tells me I'm the first man she's ever dated who never talks down to her. And I've never met a woman whose hooha gets gooier when I'm goin' south.

Does this woman live in Knoxville? Please tell her to write me, I miss her. :shock:

Seriously, she sounds so much like a 3G (Gay GG) that I spent some time with some years ago. A true puzzle, she eventually went back to her female lover who, so I hear, wasn't all that attentive to her needs. Go figure.


If you want a friend, and you should, advertise for that. If you really want pussy, rent it.

After the bloodbath of my last (Emphasis on the "LAST") relationship
'renting pussy' is the only option left to me (Though, being bisexual and into T-gurls, this broadens the available spectrum quite a bit). As to 'friends', that's another matter entirely. To date, my 'friends' have stuck me with massive debt, unpaid rent, phone bills, utility bills, slanderous reputation, etc. I'd rather buy or rent my 'friends' as many are rather worthless.

DISCLAIMER: Those on board HA know that the above statement is relative to ongoing performance.


>> Kira posts a pic <<

WHOA!!! :shock:

What was I saying?


If I ever meet God, I'm kicking that fat fuck in the nuts.

I have often said that Gawd is a sadistic fuck with a bad sense of humor (An extreme variation on Kate Clinton's revelation that "God is a comedian working for the Marriott Corporation!") and I sincerely want to personally poke the lame-ass motherfucker in the eye. :x


Going out. I think I just might fuck a stripper. Heh.

Oh! Well! You would! :P


Girls have burned me so often, marriage is out of the question.

I gave up on marriage decades ago. Most women either turned me down, blew me off, or, as in one case, didn't even notice that I was interested. At this point, the only reason I am contemplating marriage is to take advantage of the SPECIAL PRIVELEDGES/RIGHTS that enable me to share health benefits and pass on Social Security and retirement benefits. That'sd all it's good for, really.

Marriage is an institution for people that like to live in institutions.


Dude, seriously, the pity party needs to stop. You sound like a fucking asshole. You call yourself a "nice guy" but you're basiclly a bitter dick who wants to see women suffer. You have too many women who are freinds? Guess what - you don't fucking need to be thier freind if you dont want to!

Don't rag on this guy until you've walked a mile in his mocassins. It is this "I like you as a friend" bullshit that has deadended a significant number of friendships that I have had with women/wimmen over the years. And, truthfully, after the bloodbath of my last relationship, yah, I want to see them suffer. Have at it with the drunken bikers, the abusive spouses, the guys trying to sort out their am-I-gay nonsense in their pussies, the babydykes playing the "Oops, sorry, I'm really straight!" sham on theitr emotions.

Oops, sorry, I loved you but you didn't give a flying fart in space about it. End of fucking story! :x


And I just like seeing the ones who treated me badly get their just deserts, not all women, so I'll have you not put words in my mouth, mmmkay?

Yah, I think we share the same list. :?


Next thing I know the same girl from earlier comes over and starts grinding her butt on my crotch.. At that point i'm like wtf?!?

Many, many years ago (1980-something) there was this adorable GG that I so wanted to spend time with. We had some nice moments together, the best that a thousand-mile buffer would allow, but it was all lighthearted friendship. Then, one year, we were at an event near her home and she sidled up and ground her sweet ass into my crotch like tyou wouldn't believe. Then she walked away! :shock: The next morning, we had breakfast together and she said "So, why didn't you take me to bed last night?". In hindsight, I so want to slap her in the face for that. :x

Women have no clue what they want. When they have a clue, they refuse to share it.


Men need work. It's a fact of life, if you're going to be in relationship with a man, you are going to need to refine him.

Definition: The man you're with is never the one you truly want.


If some woman thinks she's going to change me profoundly, however, she's going to be frustrated. In my opinion being organized will make anyone run their life better. You want to help me do what i do better, great. You want me to change everything to suit you, uh uh.

My greatest obstacle, in the cloudy days when I still believed that a relationship was possible, was that most women have no desire to be with =YOU= but in being with who they =WANT YOU TO BE=. They don't want to =REFINE= you into a better person, they want to =CONVERT= you into whatever their fantasy figure may be at the moment. When they run into obvious obstacles along the way, they typically abandon you in favor of the weaker mind that is more susceptable to change. Ergo: The drunken, abusive, lying, cheating asshole.


Is he's emotionally open, empathetic, is he still a decent guy after we have been together for a while, or does he start to take me for granted
after the courtship.

True, there's a comfort zone when the guy seems to feel that the relationship is solid and permanent. I'm guilty of this. Yet, in my defense, when things became rocky or complacent, my lover never, =NEVER= spoke up to say that she was dissatisfied with the relationship or its progress or lack thereof.

WE'RE NOT FUCKING KRESKIN, GAWDDAMMIT! :x

This "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, I'm not going to tell you!" horsehockety has got to fuckling =STOP=!


I owe you a drink Fanatic

Oy! Me too! Guiness works! :wink:


However, they don't look like the girls in porn, so they don't get half as much male attention as they deserve.

Relative. There are gurls in porn that I'd dribble a basketball across a minefield just to touch. Yet, there are also those that cause me to lunge for the DELETE key just as quickly. One of my lovers, a delightful GG that I mentioned above, was no great stunner and, to some, seemed rather manly. Yet she was kind, smart, witty, and could fuck up a storm like you wouldn't believe.

Appearances can be =VERY= deceiving.

Please excuse any severe typos. They are courtesy of Anheuser Busch.

Good posting there.

:idea: I say we do what the rest of America has done and outsource, in our case, some hotties. :idea:

[hondarobot]

Whoops. I thought this thread got zapped, and it. . . well, complicated story.

What ya gonna do? :wink:

[suckseed]

Trogdor!
That may be the most blatant abuse of the quote function ever...
Edit, man! Edit that sucker! Burninate it!

[Trogdor]

Trogdor!
That may be the most blatant abuse of the quote function ever...
Edit, man! Edit that sucker! Burninate it!

But it's so pink and pretty! :lol:

[beatmaker]

Personally, I'm not the nice, pushover type. However, if I'm an accountant for Kinkos and she asks me what I do, I'm going to tell her "I'm an accountant for Kinkos". If she thinks that boring or below her standards, then fuck her and the horse she rode in on. Like Joe Pesci told Ray Liotta in Goodfellas, "I not a comedian, I'm not here to entertain you". Trust, I'm a funny dude and do have good conversation with women, but I refuse to play the court jester, to get some play.

I personally like my approach. From someone who is a student of women, if you are looking for a serious relationship, women who constantly need to be entertained and stimulated to consider a man "husband material", aren't worth your time. My mother grew up in Harlem and all of the fly chicks, that wanted to date the hustlers and fast-living dudes are now washed up, bitter and usually ended up raising their kids alone in poverty. The one's who dated the ambitious brother who worked two jobs while attending college at night are the one's with the good family lives, prospering. So, if you date women who only think about the "here and now", you are setting yourself up for disaster.

[EyeCumInPiece]

[
One thing I CAN'T WAIT for is when these bad boy chasers start to get in their 30's, and spend the rest of their lives alone with maybe a pet. Cause I seen some of these girls so change.......they get fat, have a few rotten kids from the bad-ass ( and daddy's no where to be found ), and pretty much become an old sow. At least that will be a bit of a refreashment when karma strikes. Cause when these girls become like that, they decide to go to a 'back-up' plan. They go to those decent fellows that they ignored or pretty much used as a therapist/stooge and will assume, "Hey, that guy who liked me, but I never bothered to give him time of day is still around....SURELY he'll still want me after all these years!" Well, I dunno know about you, but being a 'last resort' is not a good thing and nothing to be flattered about. So should I myself see any of these washed-up crackpot girls, they are gonna be eating wood when they get the door slammed in their face.

I myself am about to call it quits on American women and go for foreign babes from places like eastern Europe or Asia.

And to girls who love their bad-asses......just remember.....a hoodlem is still and always going to be a hoodlem. :P

Dude, seriously, the pity party needs to stop. You sound like a fucking asshole. You call yourself a "nice guy" but you're basiclly a bitter dick who wants to see women suffer. You have too many women who are freinds? Guess what - you don't fucking need to be thier freind if you dont want to!

Cool qoute about Nice Guys


It's the "you're not entitled to something" attitude that has always, in my experience, been the sticking point for the Nice Guy.

The ones I've actually talked with (generally whining on the internet about how they can't get a girlfriend) seem to have this notion of Woman As Vending Machine / Arcade Game. If they just figure out which buttons to push, then Woman will Put Out. And they're pushing the buttons that they're supposed to, but Woman is not lighting up the right little "Score!" buttons. That asshole over there is pushing buttons and lighting the whole system up! Damnit, this Woman is broken! They tried up-down-up-down-left-right-left-right-B-A-stat, too, did someone give them the wrong cheat code? The last woman said that she liked this, why doesn't this woman respond to it?

None of the Nice Guys I've ever tried to talk to seem capable of believing that women aren't issued with a standard cheat code that will open them up to whoever gets the button sequence right. And the cheat code is Their Right, Damnit. The woman is incidental.

agreed Irishgirl.

[LTR_Seeker]

To me i dont give a crap anymore if women likes me she does if not then so be it im not suffering if she choses wrong & gets with idiot who abuses her on all levels i say she deserves it 100 percent

[Toro]

My 2 cents...

A lot depends on where you're meeting the girl - some venues are much harder than others. If you go to a club, know how to dance. If you can cut a serious step...the rest is easy. Dancing can be like foreplay for some women...it turns them on.

For me, I will throw out a rap in the less obvious places. Trying to hit on a woman in a grocery store is a lot easier than in a club...her wall isn't up. "Can you tell me how to tell if this melon is ripe?" or whatever gets you a lot further than that fucking line about a big purse in my opinion.

Don't be obvious. I was sitting at a bar checking out this girl, and she ordered food. I just said "what's that?" and pointed to something on her plate, we got into a conversation about food, I told her I know an awesome Cuban place to eat, and got her number a few minutes later.

Having a girl with you helps big time...anywhere. Gym, club, street. But she's got to be attractive. I have a couple of girls I like rolling out with just because of the attention they get me from other girls. You just have to make sure they're cool with it.

Be able to converse... not just with the girl, but with her friends, too.

And never give out too much information at first - girls like the mystery of trying to figure you out. They talk about 'this guy they met' with their other girlfriends, and love not knowing everything about you at first - it frustrates them in a good way. If you're some blow-hard talking about yourself constantly, you ruin that for them.

It's all about getting your foot in the door - once you do that, you can let yourself hang out.

[werwt22]

Treat a woman like dirt and she'll stick to you like mud. lol

[trish]

1) Women make decisions very, very quickly about whether a man is going to be "just a friend" or if he has romantic potential, and once her decision is made, it's probably going to stay made.

2) These decisions are made "unconsciously", meaning that women make all of them quickly and at a "gut level".

3) If you know how, you make her feel attraction feelings rather than "friend" feelings.

4) The way to do it is to stop acting "nice" and start acting, well... something else... and I don't mean "not nice".



This is all true. I swear to god. In regards to (3) and (4): I love when a guy takes me out to a nice Italian restaurant and persistently farts loudly. Especially the wet gurgley ones. I love it when everyone turns around and frowns and then he screams at me, "BLOODY CUNT, STOP RIPPIN' 'EM LIKE THAT" at the top of his voice. It makes me feel like a woman and I get all gushy inside. I usually have to have him right there on the spot. The real fun doesn’t even happen until the police arrive.
:wink:

[a994]

Men need work. It's a fact of life, if you're going to be in relationship with a man, you are going to need to refine him.

Definition: The man you're with is never the one you truly want.


And you can be sure that if she ever DOES change him into her Prince Charming, she will then lose interest in him because (1) she will feel that he knuckled under to her and is not a real man and (2) she also, in her attempt at relationship/marriage alchemy, succeded in inadvertently wiping out whatever qualities he had which attracted her to him in the first place.

[bilko]

i don't agree with it.
just because your nice does not mean woman will not be interested.
everyone is different.
looks count for a lot,and then personality.
if you can make a girl laugh then you stand a good chance.
true some girls like bad guys,but they in my experiance are not worth the effort,and just good for 1 night stands,

[JohnnyWalkerBlackLabel]

i don't agree with it.
just because your nice does not mean woman will not be interested.
everyone is different.
looks count for a lot,and then personality.
if you can make a girl laugh then you stand a good chance.
true some girls like bad guys,but they in my experiance are not worth the effort,and just good for 1 night stands,

yeah ok, in your description 90% of the dames out there are only good for 1 night stands...............................which seems about right

10% of the chicks out there are actually decent and worthy of our attention, nice guy or bad guy, but they are usually taken at a very young age by some dude who knew a diamond in the rough........

[Fox]

Treat a woman like dirt and she'll stick to you like mud. lol

So that's how it works huh? Hmm.

lol

[Trogdor]

i don't agree with it.
just because your nice does not mean woman will not be interested.
everyone is different.
looks count for a lot,and then personality.
if you can make a girl laugh then you stand a good chance.
true some girls like bad guys,but they in my experiance are not worth the effort,and just good for 1 night stands,

yeah ok, in your description 90% of the dames out there are only good for 1 night stands...............................which seems about right

10% of the chicks out there are actually decent and worthy of our attention, nice guy or bad guy, but they are usually taken at a very young age by some dude who knew a diamond in the rough........

Often it being the bad guy....who's probably roughing up that diamond as we speak. :roll:

And as I said.....I am sooooo tempted now to start drinking alot of beer, getting snake & skull tattoos on my arms, slapping chicks about, and joining some no-name rock band that's never gonna go anywhere...it's soooo tempting.

Since the old saying goes, "There's not much gold in being good." :P

I can see myself laying on a leather couch, talking to a shrink who has a silly German accent one of these days. :P

[Tomfurbs]

i don't agree with it.
just because your nice does not mean woman will not be interested.
everyone is different.
looks count for a lot,and then personality.
if you can make a girl laugh then you stand a good chance.
true some girls like bad guys,but they in my experiance are not worth the effort,and just good for 1 night stands,

yeah ok, in your description 90% of the dames out there are only good for 1 night stands...............................which seems about right

10% of the chicks out there are actually decent and worthy of our attention, nice guy or bad guy, but they are usually taken at a very young age by some dude who knew a diamond in the rough........

Often it being the bad guy....who's probably roughing up that diamond as we speak. :roll:

And as I said.....I am sooooo tempted now to start drinking alot of beer, getting snake & skull tattoos on my arms, slapping chicks about, and joining some no-name rock band that's never gonna go anywhere...it's soooo tempting.

Since the old saying goes, "There's not much gold in being good." :P

I can see myself laying on a leather couch, talking to a shrink who has a silly German accent one of these days. :P

fuck the shrink, just drink that beer man, its what 99.999999999% of the male pop of the world end up doing whether they are married, 'getting it' or not, in the end.

[ohioboy]

Heres the problem, cuz sometimes I can come off nicer than i am(even tho im not a dick), but I love bustin chops and teeasing people.

Nice guys get too discouraged when things dont go there way or if a girl rejects them. They are a bit too sensitive. PLus you can't worry about what everyone else is doing.

I think overly nice can turn off certain girls because there comes a point were they want to see the REAL you..a different range of emotions.

Its really not about being 'nice' per se...its a good quality..just dont overdo one quality.
Just like dont be overly funny, dont be a complete asshole(contrary to popular belief, being an asshole does not work)....

If all else fails, act like you dont give a fuck. Make her want more from you