The Trials and Tribulations of a TS Trucker

[chefmike]

Transsexual trucker is 'hounded out' for wearing make-up

A transsexual is seeking thousands of pounds in damages after claiming he was forced out of his job as a truck driver when he started dressing as a woman.

Vikki-Marie Gaynor, 37, who was born a man, claims bosses started cancelling his shifts when he dropped his old name, Mike, and started wearing women's clothes, earrings and make-up to work.

The former soldier, who has been married twice and has a teenage daughter, was taunted by other drivers who made rude gestures towards him, it is alleged.

Now Mr Gaynor has launched a sexual discrimination claim against the haulage firm and the recruitment agency which employed him. He could receive a five-figure sum if the employment tribunal finds in his favour.

'I have been treated in an horrendous manner by my employers,' Mr Gaynor said last night.

'When I first started I was a respected driver, I turned up for work on time and did my job very professionally. My bosses knew me as Mike and had no idea I was a transsexual.

'But almost as soon as I told them I was changing my name to Vikki-Marie and entering the transition stage of my gender reassignment things changed. I started getting hurtful comments and my shifts started being cancelled without warning.

'In the end I realised I could no longer go into work, it was too painful.

'It is not right that I should be forced out of my job simply because I want to live as a woman and wear the clothes I was born to wear.'

Mr Gaynor landed a £20,000-a-year job with Exel Europe - an offshoot of parcel delivery giant DHL - through the Blue Arrow recruitment agency last October.

Although he had been dressing as a woman in secret for almost 20 years, he had not gone public and was known as Mike Gaynor.

However, in February Mr Gaynor, who obtained his HGV licence with the Royal Corps of Transport as a teenager, decided to start living as a woman full-time.

Although surprised, his boss was initially supportive of Mr Gaynor's decision, which involved changing his name and wearing women's T-shirts, earrings and make-up to work.

But within weeks, Mr Gaynor claims, he started suffering problems at the depot in Kirkby, Merseyside. His regular shift started being cancelled and he noticed a change in the way he was treated by other members of staff.

Mr Gaynor, from Wallasey, Wirral, also claims his belongings and makeup were removed from his lorry and dumped in a disabled lavatory. He added: 'Other drivers, who I'd previously got on well with, started ignoring me.

'I began to notice people talking about me and on one occasion a driver backed away from me while covering his backside and muttering under his breath.

'Another time a colleague made an obscene gesture as we pulled up to a set of traffic lights together.

'I found it very hurtful and realised I could no longer go back to work.'

Mr Gaynor resigned on March 12 and launched his claim for sexual discrimination. He is currently awaiting a date for his tribunal hearing.

He is currently undergoing counselling for his gender reassignment and is hoping to undergo a sex change operation on the Health Service.

Since losing his job he has been surviving on benefits while setting up a business offering employers and schools workshops and information on transsexuality.

A spokesman for DHL said: 'We have robust grievance processes in place to deal with any such allegations and they are dealt with swiftly and appropriately.

'Unfortunately, the employee was not satisfied with the outcome and this has resulted in a tribunal.'

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=470183&in_page_id=1770

[chefmike]

Is anyone else reminded of John Lithgow in 'The World According to Garp' when they look at that second pic?

[Vicki Richter]

This has been my point for awhile. It is like I need to start a transitioning school or something. The right way to transition, and the wrong way. "Hey I am going to start wearing women's clothing to work even though I look exactly like I did yesterday, but am wearing women's clothing."

[matqc20]

Actually vicky... if you don't mind I might have a few questions for you I would like to ask in private :oops:

[chefmike]

This has been my point for awhile. It is like I need to start a transitioning school or something. The right way to transition, and the wrong way. "Hey I am going to start wearing women's clothing to work even though I look exactly like I did yesterday, but am wearing women's clothing."

It sounds like a much needed campus, Vicki....perhaps 'Miss Vicki's Transitioning School for Girls', followed by 'Miss Vicki's Finishing School for Girls' at the graduate level...

[BrendaQG]

This has been my point for awhile. It is like I need to start a transitioning school or something. The right way to transition, and the wrong way. "Hey I am going to start wearing women's clothing to work even though I look exactly like I did yesterday, but am wearing women's clothing."

If you do I volunteer to be on the admissions board. Some people should just realize they waited too long and not try I would have no qualms about saying so. I think something I said in another thread bears repeating here.

There is a clear difference between someone who was a transsexual first who then latter became a scientist, doctor, or lawyer, (or even truck driver) etc... and someone who was a scientist, doctor, or lawyer then became a transsexual. One transitions young, with all the disadvantages as anyone else, survives "the life" and come out on the other end stronger. The other , if you take their usual story at face value, is basically too chicken to take the steps necessary to live the life they want to and lets other people tell them how to live for the first half century of their life. Only to assert themselves after they have done everything that anyone else could want them to.

[Alison Faraday]

Actually vicky... if you don't mind I might have a few questions for you I would like to ask in private :oops:

Of course you can. Vicki loves messages.

[matqc20]

I would actually like to talk to anyone who has precise information on transitioning.... I've had mixed thoughts about this for several years... and I would like to have some personal questions/fears answered ...


The other , if you take their usual story at face value, is basically too chicken to take the steps necessary to live the life they want to and lets other people tell them how to live for the first half century of their life. Only to assert themselves after they have done everything that anyone else could want them to.

hmm yeah.. exactly.. :(

[Alison Faraday]

The difficulty is that it's such an open ended question. If anyone tries to give you advice then it might be the wrong advice. Do you kind of see where I'm coming from?

You're best placed with a transgendered support group, with the assistance of a psychiatrist.

I've told this to people before and apparently I'm such a horrible heartless person and that they're deeply insulted that I've just said that they need a psychiatrist.

Fact: You get nothing without a psychiatrist.

We've had people on here before with questions like these, and people will be initially supportive in pointing you in the right direction. The only person that can do this is YOU. Nobody else can do it for you.

Ask away?

[BrendaQG]

Here is what I think should be the first thing anyone considering this as an adult should read.



A WARNING FOR THOSE CONSIDERING MtF SRS: (http://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/TS/Warning.html)


What if you "succeed" in completing a TS transition,

but did it for the wrong reasons?


Yep, you get the idea!

This is one place you do NOT want to go!

In the large majority of cases, transsexual (TS) transitions work out well over the long-term, as we've seen in the many stories documented in Lynn's Transsexual Women's Successes page. However, in some cases a complete TS transition may totally fail to meet very unrealistic expectations, and way too late the transitioner may realize that undergoing sex reassignment surgery (SRS) was a BIG mistake.

In Lynn's TS Informational pages, we discussed some of the social risks that face TG and TS transitioners. In the SRS information page, we discussed some of the medical risks of the surgery itself. Here in this page, we focus on the risks involved in undergoing SRS in cases where the overall rationale for transition and/or for undergoing SRS is questionable.

Some examples of "wrong reasons" and wrong situations for undergoing SRS are (i) efforts to become a center of attention and live a "sexy life", (ii) thinking it will "automatically turn oneself into a woman" in others' eyes, (iii) deciding to become a woman on a whim (for example, in the midst of a mid-life crisis), (iv) doing it for autosexual "thrills", (v) doing it while suffering from preexisting serious mental conditions unrelated to GID (depression, bi-polar conditions,...), etc.

Regrets and adjustment difficulties seem to occur especially frequently in the cases of older intense crossdressers and sexual fetishists whose drive to transition is based primarily on male sexual feelings and habits. These individuals will gradually lose their male libidinous responses to their new female body as time passes after the removal of their testicles during SRS. This loss of libidinous rewards, combined with accumulating practical, social and emotional difficulties in postoperative life, can lead to serious long-term adjustment difficulties for those who've "made a mistake". (This effect is quite different from the experiencing of a heightened female libido and improvements in lovemaking capability that occur in many other postoperative TS cases).

The bottom line here is that EXTREME CAUTION is advised if you are unsure of your motives for SRS.


Follow the link in that quote that website and the ones that link to it are chock full of information.

[melissacarter]

This has been my point for awhile. It is like I need to start a transitioning school or something. The right way to transition, and the wrong way. "Hey I am going to start wearing women's clothing to work even though I look exactly like I did yesterday, but am wearing women's clothing."

Good point. Transition is a complicated process that needs to be thought out down to the smallest detail. Timing of your changes is everything. If you mindlessly wander into it you'll find yourself in precarious situations. And the later in life you start, the more complicated and difficult it is.

[matqc20]

Brenda I have read the whole page ..off of the link you sent me. It was pretty interesting and it made me look at things differently. Although it did open my eyes on different things.. I still feel the same way. Alison is probably right and I should consider consulting. I will try and read alot more on the subject and will make a decision to consult or not soon. Thx for the help ...

[Alison Faraday]

Brenda I have read the whole page ..off of the link you sent me. It was pretty interesting and it made me look at different things differently. Although it did open my eyes on different things.. I still feel the same way. Alison is probably right and I should consider consulting. I will try and read alot more on the subject and will make a decision to consult or not soon. Thx for the help ...

If you're genuine then no one here will EVER criticise you for it.

Join this group; http://groups.yahoo.com/group/transsexual-uk/ . Don't let them know that you're not from the UK (or say you were) and also answer their sign-up questions. Do it with a blank fresh yahoo profile as they vet each new member extensively.

And stop looking at porn. It's really no way to carry on. :wink: You need a straight head and a focused mind to sort this out.

Good luck xx

[geekman33]

I definately agree with Vicki. Whether you think it's right or not people will be people and you have no choice but to deal with them. To just show up for work one day as a woman is inviting trouble. While I'm certainly not an expert on transitioning, I would say with a large degree of confidence that this would be the WRONG way to do it.

[matqc20]

Ok thx Alisson, I have sent an email to join the Yahoo group so I seek answers and maybe find help. In the meanwhile I am writing you a pm with some questions and explaining to you the situation I'm in. I hope I ain't bothering you...

[RangeHova]

Who can say who should or shouldn't live how they want to live?

Large numbers of people would say that no one should transition, young or old. Most girls who transition young go through a period where they look odd and make people around them uncomfortable. Many a young transitioning girl never becomes passable. Should they loose the right to live how they want to live?

Why is it OK for the young to transition and not those older? Because of how they look?

I'll agree whole heartedly that most of these people aren't what I call attractive, they often times look weird as hell.

I wouldn't shit on them for how they look.

[tgirlzoe]

I don't think it's about whether they should transition or not, that's their decision. They just shouldn't be surprised when people give them shit for it. I guess that's what lawsuits are for ~ doing stupid stuff and then suing people who allowed you to do it or for their reaction to you doing it.

[RangeHova]

I don't think it's about whether they should transition or not, that's their decision. They just shouldn't be surprised when people give them shit for it. I guess that's what lawsuits are for ~ doing stupid stuff and then suing people who allowed you to do it or for their reaction to you doing it.

Don't most transsexual women (and men) get shit for transitioning? It comes with the territory no matter when you transition. As long as him/her wearing makeup and women's clothing didn't effect his/her driving I don't see the point of firing the person.

People on here saying that he shouldn't have transitioned is almost like supporting the company that fired him. It is almost like saying that a company that has anything against any TS people should be able to fire you for being who you are.

The line between firing the old ugly hag of a late transitioning TS and the early transitioning pretty TS is quite thin. Some of us seem to be saying that the older hag has less rights.

[tgirlzoe]

Don't most transsexual women (and men) get shit for transitioning? It comes with the territory no matter when you transition.

Yup. Mine was almost exclusively with my parents, my sister is fine with it, my friends all knew I was trans long before I transitioned and those who missed the memo knew I was feminine and gay (hard to miss that) and weren't too shocked by my transition. I moved, went to school and quickly went stealth. I've never really been harassed since transition, it was a lot harder before transition because I was so visibly different and now people don't see me as too different because they just see me as a girl and so I don't challenge their gender ideas. I think most girls in their late-teens or early-twenties have experiences somewhat similar to mine.


As long as him/her wearing makeup and women's clothing didn't effect his/her driving I don't see the point of firing the person.

I don't think people should get fired but they also shouldn't be surprised when people react negatively.


The line between firing the old ugly hag of a late transitioning TS and the early transitioning pretty TS is quite thin. Some of us seem to be saying that the older hag has less rights.

I never said that. If it was a girl who confided in her coworker that she used to be a boy and it got spread around the office until everything collapsed, well, they shouldn't be too surprised. It hurts when people break confidence but the fact that someone is a transsexual is juicy gossip. Same goes if you're gay and closeted ~ yeah, it's stupid and sucks that people discriminate but that's why you decided to stay in the closet, you knew that.

People suck.

[RangeHova]

I never said that.

I wasn't refering exclusively to you on that, apolgies if it came off like that.

There are people on this board that are so willing to throw the old hags under the bus. Admitedly, I don't want any intimate dealings with them but I do support thier right to be who they are and to live how they choose to live. In fact I kind of admire that courage. That thing that says 'fuck it, I may not pass and I may be ugly to most but this is who I am'.

For whatever reason they didn't transition at a young age. A lot of people will hold that against them as if they are less of a transsexual compared to a girl like yourself. I don't know thier story and just feel that none of us has the right to judge them for doing what they feel is right in thier heart for thier own lives.

I just really don't get how TS women (with the way that society looks upon you as a whole)can be so quite to descriminate against the next girl because her path to becoming a woman was different or because of how she looks.

It seems so based on outer and superficial reasons.

[KiraHarden]

I just had a coversation with someone who said she will be going fulltime as woman to work soon. I advised her that maybe she should see a therapist, start hormones , laser, she doesnt need therapy, hormones, or laser knows shes female, and doesnt want to lose abilty to perform.... shes quite beefy and non passable.
Train wreck coming!!!
Kira

[Hara_Juku Tgirl]

OMG! He was alot better looking as a guy (No offense)!

http://www.hungangels.com/board/files/gaynor1997_200.jpg

Than a girl. LOL Wearing a dress didnt change much (she's still built like a tank). :lol:

http://www.hungangels.com/board/files/gaynor_ts_trucker_179.jpg

That or get FFS done! ;)

Just being honest.

~Kisses.

HTG

[BrendaQG]

@HJTG

No kidding. I can't imagine him having real trouble getting laid by anyone of either sex, when he was a man.

Is it just me or doe she still need more electrolysis.

@ RangeHova

It's not a matter of throwing the old hags under the bus. Not really. It's so hard to explain without pratically writing you a book.

For me it is the following. The old hags throw their weight around. We have to push back sometimes. If you had access to a webforum dominated by transsexuals who transitioned when older you would find that they do it to us. (i.e. I'll bet that every TS here has at one point in time been in the surreal position of being called a sissy and/or a faggot by someone like the person this thread is about. If it hasn't happened yet, don't worry if you encounter enough people like that it will happen eventually).

Lastly for all the bad things I said about how Susan Stanton looked this person makes her look mantronly.

[RangeHova]

@ RangeHova

It's not a matter of throwing the old hags under the bus. Not really. It's so hard to explain without pratically writing you a book.

For me it is the following. The old hags throw their weight around. We have to push back sometimes. If you had access to a webforum dominated by transsexuals who transitioned when older you would find that they do it to us. (i.e. I'll bet that every TS here has at one point in time been in the surreal position of being called a sissy and/or a faggot by someone like the person this thread is about. If it hasn't happened yet, don't worry if you encounter enough people like that it will happen eventually).

Lastly for all the bad things I said about how Susan Stanton looked this person makes her look mantronly.


To down, degrade, and disrespect older TS women because some do some negative things is like having issues with Blacks because some Black people do negative things.

Because a groups of TSs get on the net and post bad things about the younger girls does that give you a right to take the first stike against other older transitioing girls who very well may not share those negative opinions of the younger girls?

There is nothing wrong with defending yourself and going after someone who has personally offended you. Attacking someone who doesn't know you, never spoke to you, based on how they look is not 'pushing back'. How is criticsizing these two girls and saying they shouldn't transiton pushing back?

Don't get me wrong, I don't think either of these girls looks good. I just really take issue with people that say they shouldn't transition or question them because of how they look or how old they are. I think too ofetn we assume because someone looks good or transitioned early that they are automatically better equiped, more secure in being female, and more without any consideration of what is in that person's mind.

I haven't seen the webforums that you speak of but I have seen a lot of first hand in person interaction. Here in Atlanta the trans scene is very intermingled in some ways. You really don't see the older girls being outwardly disrespectful to the younger girls, if anything they come off as worshiping them to the point it weirds out a lot of the younger transitioned girls. At the Black clubs it is outright war on the older girls. If a girl ike one of these in the thread walked into a Black club she would be the butt of most everyone's joke (not in the behind her back kind of way either), and don't let there be an MC with a microphone LOL. The shade would come in massive amounts.

[Vala_TS]

People on here saying that he shouldn't have transitioned is almost like supporting the company that fired him. It is almost like saying that a company that has anything against any TS people should be able to fire you for being who you are.

I agree. Let's not insult her for her descision, it's more painful staying in a gender you hate than it is to be an ugly woman, at least you're happy with yourself inside. And we all know that there are far worse looking TS's than her.

Vala,

[peggygee]

@ RangeHova

It's not a matter of throwing the old hags under the bus. Not really. It's so hard to explain without pratically writing you a book.

For me it is the following. The old hags throw their weight around. We have to push back sometimes. If you had access to a webforum dominated by transsexuals who transitioned when older you would find that they do it to us. (i.e. I'll bet that every TS here has at one point in time been in the surreal position of being called a sissy and/or a faggot by someone like the person this thread is about. If it hasn't happened yet, don't worry if you encounter enough people like that it will happen eventually).

Lastly for all the bad things I said about how Susan Stanton looked this person makes her look mantronly.


To down, degrade, and disrespect older TS women because some do some negative things is like having issues with Blacks because some Black people do negative things.

Because a groups of TSs get on the net and post bad things about the younger girls does that give you a right to take the first stike against other older transitioing girls who very well may not share those negative opinions of the younger girls?

There is nothing wrong with defending yourself and going after someone who has personally offended you. Attacking someone who doesn't know you, never spoke to you, based on how they look is not 'pushing back'. How is criticsizing these two girls and saying they shouldn't transiton pushing back?

Don't get me wrong, I don't think either of these girls looks good. I just really take issue with people that say they shouldn't transition or question them because of how they look or how old they are. I think too ofetn we assume because someone looks good or transitioned early that they are automatically better equiped, more secure in being female, and more without any consideration of what is in that person's mind.

I haven't seen the webforums that you speak of but I have seen a lot of first hand in person interaction.

Here in Atlanta the trans scene is very intermingled in some ways. You really don't see the older girls being outwardly disrespectful to the younger girls, if anything they come off as worshiping them to the point it weirds out a lot of the younger transitioned girls. At the Black clubs it is outright war on the older girls. If a girl ike one of these in the thread walked into a Black club she would be the butt of most everyone's joke (not in the behind her back kind of way either), and don't let there be an MC with a microphone LOL. The shade would come in massive amounts.

I concur with Rangehova's viewpoint that it is unfair to make an
unprovoked attack on a woman who transitiions late in life, based
upon previous disparaging words and sentiments from women in
that demographic.

I am aware of the forums that Brenda alludes to, and like Rangehova, I
too am familiar with the real world animosities betweeen the two groups.

However, there are many, many issues facing the transcommunity:

Discrimination, employment, HIV/AIDS, substance abuse, adequate health
care, are but a few that immediately come to mind.

Thus I will paraphrase the slogan of Atlanta, "We're too busy to hate".

Our community has a great deal of work to do, with too few to do it,
perhaps we can focus our attention on the larger problems facing all
of us.

[BrendaQG]

@ Range Hova

Your experience, no, your comments only show how littel you know. I'll bet the oler girls you saw were nothing like the trucker in this thread. I'll bet they were peiple who transitioned young and have aged. Not people who transitioned just yesterday after thier CD'er meeting.

@ Peggy

Yes many issues.

For example one issue that faces the transsexual community is legal recognition. Recognition that after transition we are legally female, or in some minds recognizing a third gender.

Sounds good but the devil is in the details.

Then how does one define transition for legal purposes? Hormones? SRS? Then the questions are non-op's really transsexuals? Are they just full time drag queens? Is a post op who does not pass, or just outright looks and acts like a man really a transsexual? ...

You know all of these things are sticking points better than I do. Those who transtioned younger and those who did so when much older will have different answers to those.

If what I say is false I pray god to strike me dead.

[Lone Wolf]

You want my opinion, this guy looks like an ugly bitch on drugs