Violence and emotional abuse in transgender relationships.

[whatsupwithat]

I'm putting this out there. Maybe it'll help someone else, maybe it won't. But I hope to open up a dialogue.

I'm a survivor (barely) of a violently and emotionally abusive relationship with a transgender women. I've had to deal with the issue head on in order to move onward in my life and it hasn't been easy. Trust, intimacy with another...those things are hard to find within yourself once you've been in an abusive relationship...very hard to find.

I'd like to hear your thoughts, to hear what the people in this forum's experiences have been with domestic abuse.

Anyone?

[TJ347]

I know exactly where you're coming from with the trust issues, as that's a problem I've faced myself for a good while now. While people always say you shouldn't carry things from your past relationship into a new one, to do anything else is, in all honesty, impossible. I am far more suspicious now, and faster to see things moving in a negative direction, because of past relationships, and I don't know what, if anything, I can do to change that. As far as the emotional and physical abuse... I've felt emotionally toyed with a couple of times, and while I never physically abused anyone I dated, I did wreck the apartment of a tgirl I briefly slept with (one of the times I felt emotionally toyed with). Best of luck to you, whatsupwithat. I know it's not an easy road to travel.

[whatsupwithat]

I know exactly where you're coming from with the trust issues, as that's a problem I've faced myself for a good while now. While people always say you shouldn't carry things from your past relationship into a new one, to do anything else is, in all honesty, impossible. I am far more suspicious now, and faster to see things moving in a negative direction, because of past relationships, and I don't know what, if anything, I can do to change that. As far as the emotional and physical abuse... I've felt emotionally toyed with a couple of times, and while I never physically abused anyone I dated, I did wreck the apartment of a tgirl I briefly slept with (one of the times I felt emotionally toyed with). Best of luck to you, whatsupwithat. I know it's not an easy road to travel.

Thanks for sharing that. It's not easy to be open about it whether you're the abuser or the abused. It's been real hard for me as I was the one who was on the receiving end of it and decided to stay in the relationship. There was a lot of drugs and alcohol at the time (5 years clean and sober now), so that didn't help my self-esteem or her abusive swings.

[Trans_Lover]

call Dr. Phil

[Legend]

call Dr. Phil

Why is this moron still here?

[TJ347]

call Dr. Phil

Why is this moron still here?

A great question. But you know, I've decided to try out the advice somebody gave a few days ago (I want to say it was Jericho), which was to just ignore the posts of idiots entirely. Might want to give it a shot... It's pretty clear responding to them, even when you're pointing out how stupid they are, isn't going to stop them. :idea:

[whatsupwithat]

call Dr. Phil

Why is this moron still here?

Just ignore him. People like that find out, sooner or later, that karma's a bitch.

[Trans_Lover]

you fuckfaces are overly serious and a bunch of cockheaded tards

[BlackAdder]

Then why are some girls fine???

[Trans_Lover]

Then why are some girls fine???

easy answer, they are mentally strong, whereas others are mentally weak

[whatsupwithat]

Then why are some girls fine???

easy answer, they are mentally strong, whereas others are mentally weak

Dude, I posted this thread to open up a dialogue about violence in trans relationships. Your contribution so far, that hormones are the cause and that the hormones only affect girls that are mentally weak not others who are strong, only skims one small part of the surface of the issue. I was hoping to hear from others who have experienced abuse...you're writing it off so succinctly tells me either you have experienced it and are unable to to deal with it...or you don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

[TJ347]

And just like that, you've given him incentive to respond, ensuring that he will continue to plague your thread with idiotic commentary and pointless observations about nothing. I'm really starting to get irritated by all this bullshit, to be honest. It's continuous these last few days.

[whatsupwithat]

And just like that, you've given him incentive to respond, ensuring that he will continue to plague your thread with idiotic commentary and pointless observations about nothing. I'm really starting to get irritated by all this bullshit, to be honest. It's continuous these last few days.

I'm not going to respond anymore if he continues to post the drivel he has. But I couldn't let what are some very inane remarks go without being responded to. There are a lot of people on this forum that don't post and may be having issues with abuse. And some of those people may not be the best equipped to know that what he is posting is bullshiat.

[TJ347]

And just like that, you've given him incentive to respond, ensuring that he will continue to plague your thread with idiotic commentary and pointless observations about nothing. I'm really starting to get irritated by all this bullshit, to be honest. It's continuous these last few days.

I'm not going to respond anymore if he continues to post the drivel he has. But I couldn't let what are some very inane remarks go without being responded to. There are a lot of people on this forum that don't post and may be having issues with abuse. And some of those people may not be the best equipped to know that what he is posting is bullshiat.

Oh, believe me, I understand. It's just that anytime you respond to these imbeciles for any reason, it encourages them to redouble their efforts to be annoying. Hard to ignore every comment they make, Lord knows, but the alternative, well... isn't much of an alternative at all with respect to getting them to stop.

[whatsupwithat]

Oh, believe me, I understand. It's just that anytime you respond to these imbeciles for any reason, it encourages them to redouble their efforts to be annoying. Hard to ignore every comment they make, Lord knows, but the alternative, well... isn't much of an alternative at all with respect to getting them to stop.

I hear ya'.

Looks like a few of his inane posts are going *poof* as we speak. Right on, Mods! :)

[Baron Of Hell]

I was going to ask a similar question about rape. Most of the women I have been with were molested or raped. I believe that 1 out of 3 women have been raped. I was wandering if this was the same for TGs.

[Jericho]

Glib answer:
It's the GG's "Does my bum look big in this?" x Maximum Overdrive.
Ya know, those little insecurities that suddenly turn into a fukkin mushroom cloud.


Baron Of Hell Said:

I believe that 1 out of 3 women have been raped.

Really? Are those the figures?
Didn't relealise it was that high.

[Baron Of Hell]

I heard it on a talkshow but honestly they could have been full of crap. I'll look it up when I get a minute.

[LG]

To Trans_Lover, thank you for your comment saying

you fuckfaces are overly serious and a bunch of cockheaded tards

What an interesting post. I am sorry that you were given a forced lobotomy, but it is nice to know that you can still move your fingers on the keyboard. I was told that your frontal lobe would be preserved for research, but apparently the janitor mistook it for chewing gum and threw it with the trash.

You apparently also said that

trannies are all nut cases.
I don't even know why you hang around here, since, as you claim this is

a forum full of fags in denial
where

99% of topics are from self obsessed fucktards
This place, you claim

seems totally full of self centered tards
and most of us

are fucking idiots, and tweaked in the head
Apparently, you believe that

"certified tranny experts" are just closet queers
And have noted that we can just blow you

and swallow a chunky load

Now you're saying that we should

call Dr. Phil

Well, according to a former member (now thankfully banned) who made himself unpopular by behaving like a shit in very much the same way you are doing, I am Dr Phil. And my advice is simple:
http://www.hungangels.com/board/files/drphil_166.gif

[LG]

I was going to ask a similar question about rape. Most of the women I have been with were molested or raped. I believe that 1 out of 3 women have been raped. I was wandering if this was the same for TGs.

Those statistics are shocking, if true. I've read a bunch of differing figures, from 10% to 40%. I've also read that most American women have either been raped or faced attempted rape. A great proportion of rapes are date-rapes.

This article suggests it's 10%
http://www.news10now.com/content/all_news/?ArID=103650&SecID=83
but I don't think we will ever know because not all rape victims are willing to come out. Many will be afraid, either that their assailant will hurt them or that people will blame them rather than the rapist. Or, often, the rapist may be a husband or boyfriend, and speaking out could put the man in jail, which may not be what the victim wants.

I have no idea what the real values are. I'm sure it's more than 10%. Whatever it is- even if it's 1 in 10- it's too many. There is no excuse for this kind of crime.