For Sale: Pickled Testicles

[Alison Faraday]

For Sale.

One pair of delightful and plump testicles. Removed by local anesthetic in March 2006 by a keen Doctor and numerous onlookers. These have been stored in a fridge alongside apple sauce, pickled onions, and olives (no seriously, they have). Originally stored in a phalidamide solution.

They make a great talking point at parties, something to keep in your handbag. And visiting guests to your homely abode will have lots to say and will be left in awe. Men will cup their own testicles whilst admiring these. I don't know why they do this but they always do.

So buy today. Transsexual's Testicles. A once in a lifetime delicacy ideal for christenings, marriages, and divorce.

Apply within.

[Jericho]

:shock:
(cupping testicles as he reads!)

[BeardedOne]

Owowowowowowow! :shock:

Are we having a particularly...um...'testy' morning today? :wink:

[MacShreach]

Sorry babe but..... :why :why :why :shock: :shock: :shock:

[LG]

Sorry, Alison, I really do fancy you and all that, but that's kinda gross. Human testicles are not for me, although grilled sheep's testicles taste much better than you might think.

Although I really do like the warning label. "Not to be taken internally": as if anyone might want to.

[Marinus]

I'm not sure if that would look good on the mantelpiece ... :wink:

[Jasadin]

:lol:

[SweetDave]

oh no

[ausbeachstyle]

http://home.blarg.net/~wayule/graphics/sad-cat.jpg

[Jericho]

some old bollocks that shouldn't be repeated


And how do you think the girls get where they are today, you imbecilic inbreed?



Think it's fair to say you've scared us all on this one, Ali! ;-)

[Somedude21]

Oh Jesus. That was painful to look at. >_<;

[mpcc2004]

:banghead :why

[Alison Faraday]

Lol. You will excuse me if I just have a few moments to myself PMSL.

Note to myself: Never show a man iimagery that might suggest his manhood could be under threat, or even the mere suggestion that it might even be possible.

Hey All. Sorry to offend anyone all the same, no offence genuinely intended ((((((((hugs))))))). It does somehow strike me as most amusing as to where some of you think we all come from though.

As for you Mr Hotman, I have a special image for you. I'm not sure what it means but I'm sure you'll read something out it.

http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2006/07/travoltaBIG280706_411x600.jpg

[Marinus]

It does somehow strike me as most amusing as to where some of you think we all come from though.Uh ... cabbages? (that's what they told me)

btw I like your sense of humour! http://www.buzzlife.com/forums/images/smilies/bigok.gif

[Quinn]

LOL @ the picture of Tavolta. He looks like a demented version of Eddie Munster or something.

-Quinn

[BeardedOne]

LOL @ the picture of Tavolta. He looks like a demented version of Eddie Munster or something.

-Quinn

Careful, you may be hearing from Butch Patrick's legal team. :lol:

[crayons]

http://home.blarg.net/~wayule/graphics/sad-cat.jpg

Fuck me that's cute! :oops:

[tsntx]

YOUR SICK. CALL YOURSELF A TRANSEXUAL.

FREAK

LOL another freak id by a fake

[peggygee]

I'm not sure if that would look good on the mantelpiece ... :wink:


Funny story, when I had my orchiectomy, I asked to see my testes, which
they allowed.

Then the anethesia, said "ask them if you could take them home - put
them over the fireplace".

They declined. http://i92.photobucket.com/albums/l2/magi43/shrug.gif

[peggygee]

Alison, if in facts those are your testes I am quite happy for you, as I
believe I recall your stating on the forum what your ultimate goal is.

I had an orchiectomy back in the day, and yes there were advantages
and disadvantages.

The advantages:

1. I was able to decrease the dosages of Estrogen I was taking.

2. The masculinizing effects of Testosterone were halted, nipped in the
bud as it were. There was also a resultant feminizing effect, in the skin,
hips, etc.

3. Tucking became so, so, much easier.

4. No more involuntary or early morning erections thus no "sword fights"
with my boyfriends.

5. The ability to "have orgasms" multiple times, in a short period of time.
How, physiologically, I still don't know. I did not ejaculate though.


6. A sense of accomplishment that I was getting to my goal.


The disadvantages:

1. When I did have my GRS a few years later, my srcotal and penile
tissue, had atrophied somewhat, they had shrunk. I was faced with either
the sigmoid colon, or penile inversion with grafting techniques for GRS.


For a variety of reasons I went with the penile inversion with grafting. As
a result I have quite adequate depth. Now, I dont boink "Long John
Holmes , but if I position myself correctly, everybody is happy, not that
there are a lot of "everybodys".

What would I have done differently: I would have had the GRS sooner.
And I would have played with myself more to keep the tissue from
shrinking. :wink:

[Alison Faraday]

Hey Peggy :)

Yep they're mine. It was a private hospital so in a way I asked and they let me have them. The operation looking back was quite memorable, there was something like the surgeon and five nurses. Afterwards I was quite euphoric and walked through the reception surrounded by all these nurses who were then going home. It was like being famous and having an entourage. :)

The reasons for the op were;
*testes had gone back home and no longer hung, increased risk.
*to cut out the amount of drugs going through my liver.
*further feminisation (I haven't noticed really).
*tucking had become VERY painful.

As for GRS/SRS I will have it eventually although I'm not in any great hurry in all honesty. If I won the lottery and had unlimited aftercare then I'd do it tomorrow, but I'm not killing myself over it. I've lived for 20 odd years with a cock so a few more won't make any difference. I may be a certified fruit cake but I'm not letting the other fruit cakes talk me into having something for the wrong reasons. :)

Noted about the GRS/SRS and scrotum skin. Just not bothered really. I simply wanted the male T gone amongst other things.

Hey crayons. Yes I agree. So cute :)

Aly xx

ps. waves to Jen, B1, Quinn, Marinus (hey thanks), mpcc2004, Somedude21, Rowley Birkin, MacShreach, and LG, Jasadin, SweetDave, and ausbeachstyle. Love the cats, brilliant.

I promise I won't do it again but at least you now know what's in that sack of yours first hand. xx

[Alison Faraday]

*deleted*

[peggygee]

Hey Peggy :)

Yep they're mine.

The reasons for the op were;
*testes had gone back home and no longer hung, increased risk.
*to cut out the amount of drugs going through my liver.
*further feminisation (I haven't noticed really).
*tucking had become VERY painful.

As for GRS/SRS I will have it eventually although I'm not in any great hurry in all honesty. If I won the lottery and had unlimited aftercare then I'd do it tomorrow, but I'm not killing myself over it. I've lived for 20 odd years with a cock so a few more won't make any difference. I may be a certified fruit cake but I'm not letting the other fruit cakes talk me into having something for the wrong reasons. :)

Noted about the GRS/SRS and scrotum skin. Just not bothered really. I simply wanted the male T gone amongst other things.



Aly, again I am so happy for you as I know what
this can mean to us girls.

And the reasons you have stated are valid health
concerns, not mere aesthetic ones.

I have a question though; You mentioned about the
unlimited after-care, I am not sure what you mean by
that, as the vagina doesn't require very much
after-care beyonds it's neo-vagina state. Other than
a routine visit to the gynecologist, pretty much the
same as a natal female.

[Alison Faraday]

It's more the worry of what happens if something goes wrong. In my eyes at the moment I see perfectly healthy flesh so it's a bit of a dilemma really as if something is healthy then it's madness to maybe make it unhealthy. But then come into play the needs of transsexuals.

The whole thing is just such a risk. It's mainly attributed to the NHS here in the UK who to some extent will just wash their hands of transsexuals. But I'm tired of talking about that one, so I just live with it. :)

I'll do it as money allows. It's like years off now as I've now pretty much settled into who I am. Yes I get down and things but that's not seeming so bad with recent developments. Like on here I just ignore the pictures of those who are luckier, stunning, successful etc. The whole scene is just as shallow as fuck, it's almost quite saddening if you allow yourself to be drawn into it with a thinking mind.

The one thing I am is happy. I'm happy in myself. And that's something which very few have. Also if you're happy others will try to make you unhappy. Why? Because they are unhappy in themselves.

So the question is.. Have I already found the holy grail? For the most part I'm happy. Male/Female has no real issue in life anymore. I now get more upset with people cutting me up in my car.

I don't know I really don't. ((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))).

What I am doing though is slowly becoming more distant from the transgendered scene. There's nothing here. It's so negative and confused almost.

:) x

[suckseed]

Congratulations. But I was eating when I clicked the link. I guess it's my own fault...the title...but I thought it was going to be the lead-in to a joke!

[peggygee]

http://i92.photobucket.com/albums/l2/magi43/flame5x4.jpg

[dan_drade]

Are they still edible?
LOL

[Vala_TS]

Interesting pics. Wasn't nasty to me since I hope to have the same thing happen with me in the future.

Do they usually not let you keep them? What do they do with them?

Vala,

[Felicia Katt]

Alison, you might have had an orhciectomy, but showing those pictures and your vulnerability so honestly takes real balls!! You go girl!!

FK

[stillies77]

oh my god...why did i click on that.

[Beagle]

Eeek !

[Beagle]

Here's Rasputin's entire package (which is on display in Russia)...

He was one Hung Monk.

[wendy48088]

* Deleted *

[tsntx]

i dont think you can sale human parts online period... esp. ebay

[tsntx]

Here's Rasputin's entire package (which is on display in Russia)...

He was one Hung Monk.

i thought u were full of crap but thanx to :google i found this link...

http://www.mosnews.com/news/2004/04/28/rasputin.shtml

crazy shit.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rasputin's_penis

[chloe]

Good luck to you and I have allot of respect for what you've done. Very interesting

[LG]

Here's Rasputin's entire package (which is on display in Russia)...

He was one Hung Monk.

Yep, seen that online before. Apparently Boney M were right when they sang about him. Although that doesn't make their music any less shit.

[LG]

A tourist is in Spain, and goes to a fancy restaurant for dinner. As he looks around, he notices a diner being served a beautifully garnished dish with two gigantic meatballs in the middle. When the waiter asks him for his order, the man asks him about the meatball dish. The waiter explains that the meatballs are bull's testicles, and when the bull loses the bullfight, the bull is brought to the restaurant, and this beautiful dish is made.

The diner tells the waiter that he would also like bull testicles for dinner, but the waiter tells him that only one bull a day is brought to the restaurant, but he can have it tommorrow. The diner agrees. The next day the diner goes to the restaurant, and orders the testicle dish. When his food is brought out, he notices that the meatballs are extremely small and shrivelled up. He mentions this to the waiter, and the waiter replies, ''Well senior, you have to understand, sometimes the bull...he wins''.

[Balcanoid]

Fuck me, that's cute! :oops:

Shure it is, if you`re the one on the avatar... :oops:

[LG]

Are they still edible?
LOL

Why, were they ever considered edible before?

I'm sure Alison can arrange something. But you would have to pay postage and handling. It's only fair, really.

And don't forget the hot sauce.

:D

[MacShreach]

Alison, you might have had an orhciectomy, but showing those pictures and your vulnerability so honestly takes real balls!!

Bwaaahahaha funniest line this week-- and there have been a few!

:claps :claps :claps :claps :lol: :lol:

[Vala_TS]

Here's Rasputin's entire package (which is on display in Russia)...

He was one Hung Monk.

i thought u were full of crap but thanx to :google i found this link...

http://www.mosnews.com/news/2004/04/28/rasputin.shtml

crazy shit.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rasputin's_penis

Yes, it's very real. I've known about it for 3 years now.

Vala,

[wendy48088]

* Deleted *

[SarahG]

ebay claims to have a policy against selling body parts... but it appears its only intermittently enforced when it comes to "display items" such as skeletons, items in embalming fluid- stuff that can't be used in a patient but might still be ok for classrooms/etc.

Oh, and I wouldn't advise marketing these as edible... formaldehyde is some nasty cancer causing shit, although personally I get a bottle of pharmaceutical embalming fluid that is formaldehyde based every 3 months which I have to use on my feet because of a medical condition I have there (bad nerve damage). The stuff is also used in some plastics, was very popular in some of the types used around the 20s.

Moral of the story; don't be licking the antique bakalite.

[JenESPY]

OK, bad joke alert


A guy barges into a psychiatrist's office- completely naked except for saran wrap around his waist. The Doc looks up and says,"I can clearly see your nuts!".

[Alison Faraday]

Bad joke? I think it's hilarious. ROFL.

The joke is on everyone who got so upset about it. PMSL.

[suckseed]

Now I've heard erections and orgasms are still possible for you, right Allison?
Probably going to be a while before you find out, but what are you expecting?

[Alison Faraday]

Hi suckseed :)

It was done about 14-months ago now. Main reasons were to cut down on the amount of tripe being broken down by my liver. SRS is so far off due to financial constraints that they had to go.

From a hormone perspective I'm the same as a post-op, just that I still have the penis. My body no longer produces any testosterone, other than that naturally produced by a female's adrenal glands.

I have pictures of the infection afterwards?? :) Now they are really are nasty. Recovery took in all about a month and was really painful. The feeling I would compare it to would be being kicked in the balls, where it feels like your stomach is being ripped out. That lasted for about a week.

Natural erections (without viagra) are still possible but they can hurt quite alot and take a while to go back down. Ejaculate is a small amount of clear fluid. Viagra though is essential for photo shoots but it does give me blurred headaches. To be honest I've practically lost interest in doing photo shoots at all. The glamour and attention shoots I enjoy, but the ones where you turn up at a smokey hotel room I absolutely hate. There's very little enjoyment in it anymore.

http://www.gynob.com/testost.htm

Aly xx

[BeardedOne]

"I can clearly see your nuts!"

*Snark!* :lol:

On Rasputin's wand of mad power:

You can add American gangster John Dillinger and the Emperor Napoleon to the rare dick collection. Napoleon's sold at an auction a few years back to a urologist intent on studying it (Napoleon had severe urinary tract infections and/or kidney stones and was known to lean his head against a tree and cry in pain when urinating on the battlefield).

On 'were they edidble to begin with?':

What, you haven't heard of 'teabagging'?

As for keeping the jewels as souvenirs, I've seen at least one other gurl post on here that she saved hers. Hey, go figure, somewhere around here I have a wisdom tooth and a kidney stone to show off to guests when there's a lull in the conversation. Hell, Alannah keeps her old boobs around for show 'n tell. :lol:

I used to work for a guy whose wife kept the nuts when the family dog got grounded. She put them up on top of the fridge and told him "If I ever catch you cheating on me..." while pointing at the pup's ex-nuggets. :twisted:

[Alison Faraday]

PMSL.

[alyss_heart]

Ooo - two of my favourite things: "Men's reactions to castration" and also "Men on slingshot rides".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wh-qKYtBCSk


Come to think of it, they're really about the same.....

:P

[ToyBoy6669]

what am I supposed to do onces I'm past the shaft? what will I do with my other hand now? *sigh*

[Vala_TS]

Natural erections (without viagra) are still possible but they can hurt quite alot and take a while to go back down. Ejaculate is a small amount of clear fluid. Viagra though is essential for photo shoots but it does give me blurred headaches. To be honest I've practically lost interest in doing photo shoots at all. The glamour and attention shoots I enjoy, but the ones where you turn up at a smokey hotel room I absolutely hate. There's very little enjoyment in it anymore.

http://www.gynob.com/testost.htm

Aly xx

I am wondering, what is your current sex drive like?

Vala,

[dan_drade]

Didn't want to start a new thread for my good news...

A family member said they can pay for my orchiectomy!!

Good for you leora. Best of luck to you. I'm sure everything will be fine. Keep us updated on how it all works out. :D :D :D :peanutbutter

[tombessence]

http://www.uselessjunk.com/article_full.php?id=12689 DIY!