Urban Law..................

[JohnnyWalkerBlackLabel]

I'd love to make this a sticky, so let's see if this becomes a worthwhile thread. I thought it might be a good idea to post knowledge we know about the law, whether it's in your city, town, village, country is not the point. You never know when someone will be visiting and your information might be crucial to their visit.

I'll start (keep in mind this can be both humorous and factual, if it's mainly humorous please state so)

NYC related primarily (although other places probably have these also)
1. It is ILLEGAL for a NYC cab to drive by you based on your ethnicity.
2. It is ILLEGAL to drive with your FUCKING CELL PHONE IN YOUR HAND.
3. It is ILLEGAL to play XXX porn in your vehicle while driving [only if it is visible to other drivers, lol]
4. It is ILLEGAL to be a man that is African-American, Hispanic, Indian, or Asian driving a nice vehicle on Friday the 13th. [lol]
5. It is ILLEGAL to solicit any type of prostitution in NYC; yet it is NOT ILLEGAL to drive around a block 20 FUCKING TIMES looking at the same prostitutes.

more to come, feel free to add

[blckhaze]

ROFLMAO

[TJT]

NYC?
You can't piss outside but there are no public bathrooms.

[jiggly]

CT
2 Laws i remember a teacher talking about back in highschool.

1. It is illegal to drag a dead horse down main st.
2. After sunset you must have someone with a lantern walk infront of your carriage

And some i found online
An old Connecticut law banished to use of condoms and all other contraceptive devices.

In Devon it is unlawful to walk backwards after sunset.

In Hartford you aren't allowed to cross a street while walking on your hands.

Police can stop you for riding a bike over 65mph.

[Caff_Racer]

2. After sunset you must have someone with a lantern walk in front of your carriage
If a bike may be considered a "carriage", the bloke would have to run bloody fast if he was in front of me :lol:

Police can stop you for riding a bike over 65mph
errm... on second thoughts I'll give Connecticut a miss... :oops: don't like riding that slow :twisted: :twisted:

[Ecstatic]

Police can stop you for riding a bike over 65mph.
I don't think the speed limit for any vehicle in CT exceeds 65 mph.

Massachusetts
At a wake, mourners may eat no more than three sandwiches.

Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked.

An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public.

Taxi drivers are prohibited from making love in the front seat of their taxi during their shifts.

All men must carry a rifle to church on Sunday.

Hunting on Sundays is prohibited.

It is illegal to go to bed without first having a full bath.

A woman can not be on top in sexual activities.

No gorilla is allowed in the back seat of any car.

Tattooing and body piercing is illegal.

And my personal favorite:
Tomatoes may not be used in the production of clam chowder.

[peggygee]

California

Baldwin Park

Nobody is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool.

Blythe

You are not permitted to wear cowboy boots unless you
already own at least two cows

Hollywood

It is illegal to drive more than two thousand sheep down
Hollywood Boulevard at one time. http://i92.photobucket.com/albums/l2/magi43/lamb73x2.jpg

Los Angeles

It is illegal for a man to beat his wife with a strap
wider than 2 inches without her consent.

You cannot bathe two babies in the same tub at the same time.

You may not hunt moths under a street light.

It is illegal to cry on the witness stand.

Toads may not be licked. http://i92.photobucket.com/albums/l2/magi43/Kermit20the20Frog2x1.jpg

It is a crime for dogs to mate within 500 yards of a church.

Zoot suits are prohibited.

Pasadena

It is illegal for for a secretary to be alone in a room with her boss.

San Francisco

It is illegal to wipe one's car with used underwear.

Persons classified as "ugly" may not walk down any street.

Giving or receiving oral sex is prohibited.

:roll: ^Particularly by an 'ugly' person^

[JohnnyWalkerBlackLabel]

Persons classified as "ugly" may not walk down any street.

LMAOOOOOOOOOO are you serious?

[peggygee]

New York

It is illegal for a woman to be on the street
wearing "body hugging clothing.

Women may go topless in public. http://i92.photobucket.com/albums/l2/magi43/sexaddict3.jpg

Providing it is not being used as a business. http://i92.photobucket.com/albums/l2/magi43/sexaddict4.jpg


You may not smoke within 100 feet of the entrance to a public building.

While riding in an elevator, one must talk to no one, and fold his hands
while looking toward the door.

Staten Island

It is illegal for a father to call his son a "faggot" or "queer" in an effort to
curb "girlie behavior.

You may only water your lawn if the hose is held in your hand. http://i92.photobucket.com/albums/l2/magi43/peeing-man2.gif

[hwbs]

quote:


New York

It is illegal for a woman to be on the street
wearing "body hugging clothing



thank god they dont enforce that one....gotta love nyc in the spring-summer :twisted:

[wombat33]

I'd love to make this a sticky, so let's see if this becomes a worthwhile thread. I thought it might be a good idea to post knowledge we know about the law, whether it's in your city, town, village, country is not the point. You never know when someone will be visiting and your information might be crucial to their visit.

I'll start (keep in mind this can be both humorous and factual, if it's mainly humorous please state so)

NYC related primarily (although other places probably have these also)
1. It is ILLEGAL for a NYC cab to drive by you based on your ethnicity.
2. It is ILLEGAL to drive with your FUCKING CELL PHONE IN YOUR HAND.
3. It is ILLEGAL to play XXX porn in your vehicle while driving [only if it is visible to other drivers, lol]
4. It is ILLEGAL to be a man that is African-American, Hispanic, Indian, or Asian driving a nice vehicle on Friday the 13th. [lol]
5. It is ILLEGAL to solicit any type of prostitution in NYC; yet it is NOT ILLEGAL to drive around a block 20 FUCKING TIMES looking at the same prostitutes.

more to come, feel free to add



More bizarre laws for your titillation




Everyone surely knows by now that in New York, a person may not walk around on Sundays with an ice cream cone in his/her pocket. It's common knowledge that roosters may not crow within city limits in Ontario, and that detonating a nuclear device in Chico, CA carries with it the stern punishment of a $500 fine. And surely we are all aware that Scottish law prohibits being drunk in charge of a cow.

It's true, I'm afraid - the well-trodden list of strange laws has well and truly done the rounds. Funny the first time, by now they are the preserve of the strange man in the woolly hat who recites them at passers-by in between prophesying Armageddon and dispensing the Weekly World News. Even when a law suddenly gains new relevance, as in the New York City ordinance that jumping from a building is punishable by death, the time is not always right to exploit its comic potential.

But there may be life in the topic yet. (If there isn't, I'm about to waste half an hour spouting drivel at you all as per usual.) What we need is an update. People are no less strange than they've ever been. What ordinances have sneaked into being in the last year or so? Surely there are more of these gems being churned out by the second?

Of course there are.

Our natural starting point must be September the eleventh, the media version of the Big Bang. The world changed, they say. And so did the laws. In New York, carrying a boxcutter within or near JFK airport now carries a stiffer potential penalty than sexual harassment, mugging and drunk-driving. In Las Vegas, the replica New York skyline cannot be altered without first informing the Nevada state governor of your ethnicity and religion. Proposals for surface-to-air missile batteries at either end of the Golden Gate bridge were recently given a firm stamp of approval by the San Francisco Police department, while it is now officially illegal to destroy the World Trade Centre whilst in Georgia.

Moving on, Floridans had better watch their voting technique - failure to master the state's eclectic electoral technology requires that the offender attend a week-long residential course on the correct way to "punch a chad". A new spin has been put on this idea in Macedonia, where campaigning politicians have to pass a military marksmanship test before firing automatic weaponry into the air. Syria, however, wins the award for most comprehensive election-related legislation; last week's ruling that failure to object publicly to poll-rigging is an imprisonable offence technically incarcerates the entire country.

It gets worse. The Supreme Court of El Salvador has given the Pacific Ocean twenty-eight days to appear in court, charged with the murders of two fishermen. Three men in Oklahoma City were arrested, tried and jailed for three years despite no-one, least of all the judge, having any idea why they were there. Certain much-prized French mushroom species are now required by law to grow by 150% during the period from February 3rd to April 9th. Copies of the Koran dating from before 1979 are legally entitled to hold government positions in Pakistan.

The EU has its own unique genius in such matters. Not content with outlawing bent bananas in the mid-1990s, a set range of shades of purple has been defined for EU-produced radishes, and exported wine cannot, strictly speaking, be drunk in the country to which it is exported. Furthermore, the lengthy roll of languages into which all official EU documents must be translated now includes, bafflingly, Lepontic, Celtiberian and Galatian - none of which has been spoken for almost two thousand years.

Lastly, I must confess that even reading this article is illegal in Denver, Colorado. After the initial craze for bizarre laws, records offices were so overwhelmed by hordes of researchers eager to find more amusing legislation that possession of lists like this was banned outright.

[BeardedOne]

Not as amusing as many of the above, Delaware has a law that sez you cannot leave a running vehicle unattended. Your registration and/or license could be suspended as punishment.

While the idea of not leaving the flashing neon sign on your car that reads "STEAL THIS CAR NOW" should be basic common sense, the law is actually intended to limit runaways/rollaways. Pretty much all of those dinged up gas pumps at Wawa are caused by people that left their cars running while they popped into the store for cwawfee.

[TomSelis]

Jersey Law

All motorists must honk before passing another car, bicyclist, skater, and even a skateboarder.

(you all know this one) You cannot pump your own gas.

It is against the law to "frown" at a police officer.

If you have been convicted of driving while intoxicated, you may never again apply for personalized license plates.

[JohnnyWalkerBlackLabel]

Oh ok I see you guys wanna flow with this.........................excellent

let's do this



New York City

Women may go topless in public, providing it is not being used as a business.

You may not smoke within 100 feet of the entrance to a public building.
It is illegal for a woman to be on the street wearing "body hugging clothing.

Citizens may not greet each other by "putting one's thumb to the nose and wiggling the fingers".

A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting.

It is against the law to throw a ball at someone's head for fun.

New Yorkers cannot dissolve a marriage for irreconcilable differences, unless they both agree to it.

While riding in an elevator, one must talk to no one, and fold his hands while looking toward the door.

Slippers are not to be worn after 10:00 P. (If flip flops are included then 90% of the women in NYC broke the law this week alone)

Carmel, NY

A man can't go outside while wearing a jacket and pants that do not match.

Ice cream may not be eaten while standing on the sidewalk.

Women may not wear high heels while in the city limits. (I will NEVER visit this city unless it is snowing)

Staten Island

It is illegal for a father to call his son a "faggot" or "queer" in an effort to curb "girlie behavior.

You may only water your lawn if the hose is held in your hand.

[Quinn]

It is illegal for a father to call his son a "faggot" or "queer" in an effort to curb "girlie behavior.

I'm having serious trouble stopping my laughter over this one. I bet the story behind said law's creation is funnier still. Staten Island, the gift that keeps on giving.

-Quinn

[BeardedOne]

(you all know this one) You cannot pump your own gas.

Someone once told me that Joisey has no incest law. So, while you may not be able to legally pump your own gas, you =CAN= pump your own sister. :shock:

That explains a lot of things. :roll:

[BeardedOne]

Staten Island, the gift that keeps on giving.

Hey, it's the home of the SIRTOA: Shall I Run Today Or Anytime. :lol: