Serial Dating..LOL Dig or Dis?

[Hara_Juku Tgirl]

Something thats popular and rampant thesedays online and offline. Here's a few article I came across:

http://ezinearticles.com/?Serial-Dating&id=168293

Serial Dating
By Toni Coleman

Serial Of, forming, or arranged in a series.

Dating An engagement to go out socially with another person, often out of romantic interest.

In the past month alone I have had over twenty emails from women who are seeking help with a dating history characterized by seeing men for two or three dates and then never hearing from them again. In some cases, there has been some email contact or the occasional phone call after the last date, but no mention of seeing each other again. These women want to know what they are doing wrong or if something is just wrong with them. In order to help them answer this, I ask them about their relationship readiness.

There are approximately 95.7 million single adults in the United States alone. Many are seeking long-term, committed relationships, but others are not. The key to successful relationship building, if this is your goal- is to learn how to tell the players from the people who want to play for keeps. It begins with having clear relationship goals and a plan for achieving them.

Begin by examining your own feelings and your true readiness for intimacy. Deciding it is time for this big step should not be due to your age, your friends relationship/marital status or to the biological and societal pressures that often factor into choices that end in heartbreak and/or divorce. Instead, look at what you really want from your future partner and come up with a list of what you must have and another of what is not acceptable. Then take an inventory of your life at it is now. Ask yourself if you are generally happy, well-adjusted, financially and emotionally stable and ready to do the work that comes with a real relationship. This first step is the one that many people overlook and then wonder why they end up in a pattern of serial dating, in which they always seem to choose -or be chosen by the wrong kind of man/woman.

The next step is to get that plan in place. Get familiar with local and online resources that will bring you into contact with the kind of person you seek. This is an active process that requires time, energy and commitment on your part. Once you have identified some good resources, use them well. Sign up for activities, groups, sports, cultural events or whatever activities bring you pleasure and will help you to interact with others who share your interests and passions. Be realistic with your schedule and dont overbook, which could leave you exhausted and emotionally spent.

Most importantly, dont rush the process because you are in love with the IDEA of being in love. This is when you risk ending up in a pattern of serial dating, because the men women you choose to date dont want what you want- or dont want it now. There are many singles who are dating for fun, dating more than one person at a time and/or feel they are not ready for or interested in a serious relationship at the present time. While there is nothing wrong with this, if it is not what you want you could find yourself riding a roller coaster of repeated self-doubt, feelings of failure and insecurity, disappointment and/or heartbreak.

Remember also that it is important to honestly communicate what you are looking for and be consistent in setting comfortable and appropriate limits in your dating life. Pay attention to your instincts and learn to read what the other person doesnt say as well as what they say. People, just like things, are not always what they appear to be.

When you are truly ready and have the self-awareness and tools necessary, you will greatly increase your chances of finding and sustaining happy love.

Toni Coleman, MSW is a psychotherapist, dating coach and founder of http://www.consum-mate.com. As a recognized expert, Toni has been quoted in many local and national publications including; The Chicago Tribune, The Orlando Sentinel, New York Daily News and Newsweek newspapers and Family Circle, Woman's Day, Cosmo Style, Tango, Men's Health, Star (regularly quoted body language expert), and People magazines. She has been featured on abcnews.com, discovery.health.com, aolnews.com, MSN.com and Match.com.

Do you Dig or Dis it?

Dig or Dis URL: http://www.gurl.com/react/dod/dilemmas/0,,692435,00.html
__________________________________________________ _____________________

~Kisses.

HTG

[Hara_Juku Tgirl]

Serial Hope Killers
By Wise Diva | Friday, August 19, 2005, 06:30 AM

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution

Serial daters. If you havent had the displeasure of meeting a serial dater then count yourself lucky. Serial daters are the worst type of person you could meet if you are at, or near, a point where you want something meaningful. I call them serial hope killers because if you let them, they can diminish your hope in finding someone to have a real relationship with.

Serial daters are usually very active on the dating scene, which by itself is NOT a bad thing. They rarely stay single for very long. Serial daters are usually toxic single people that go around imitating a person who is truly ready for a commitment. They seek out people who show real signs of wanting to be in a relationship. They intentionally seek to have you emotionally attached and draw you into an arduous cycle of lies. Serial daters entice people by dangling commitment in front of them and then yank it away when they get bored or find someone else. They are never upfront about their real feelings so they end up having pseudo-relationships with numerous people simultaneously. Whatever you do, do not develop feelings for them. Once you identify the signs of a serial dater you can better prepare yourself to deal with them. In fact, you can play the game too and maybe even have fun with them. Just dont sink to their level of dishonesty.

There are some clues to spotting a serial dater:

1. They maintain online profiles on dating websites AFTER telling you that they want to date you exclusively. Or lie about wanting to date but deep down inside has no intentions to do so.

2. They seem to have little weekend time available to spend with you. Aside from work commitments and parent responsibilities, someone who you are dating exclusively should be free to spend quality time with you on the weekends.

3. They verbally tell you that they want the relationship to progress to the next level but there is nothing substantial that indicates this to be true.

If you happen to experience the serial daters antics, dont let them kill your hope for a real relationship. Just be cautious with this type so that when you meet a genuine person you will appreciate them. The genuine person will actually call when they say they will or return your calls. A genuine person will show up on time and be considerate of your feelings. They are also able to effectively communicate their feelings and intentions. They have no problem being upfront about what they currently want or desire. It is up to you to listen to what they say and pay attention to their actions to ensure that they correlate.

Have you ever been a victim of a serial dater? What are some signs that could help others spot a serial dater? Have you ever been guilty of being a hope killer as a serial dater?

Diary of A Serial Dater

E.G. click the link below:

http://www.dateschool.com.au/serial.html

__________________________________________________ _____________________

So I guess one could say, a Serial daters and trannychasers are somewhat at a parallel? That they only seek out tgirls and prize them as trophies without any real intentions of ever dating them? :evil: Hmm..

~Kisses.

HTG

[TJT]

Huh? If you're from about 15 to 24 you should be a "serial dater". That's what those years are for. Don't tie yourself down and have fun.

[Hara_Juku Tgirl]

Huh? If you're from about 15 to 24 you should be a "serial dater". That's what those years are for. Don't tie yourself down and have fun.

I agree with you wholeheartedly. Ive been there and done that. But I was actually refering more to people 25/30 and over? LOL I believe that if you're young you should be able to date and experience everything there is. Like finding your true selves and which appeals to you. But it seems alot people over 25/30 still act like they're 18 or 20. LOL :lol:

~Kisses.

HTG

[TJT]

That's because they're jugheads.

By the time I was that age I was upfront about whether the date was about sex or a relationship? I'd become jaded and didn't like to play all the lil' games anymore.

[Hara_Juku Tgirl]

That's because they're jugheads.

By the time I was that age I was upfront about whether the date was about sex or a relationship? I'd become jaded and didn't like to play all the lil' games anymore.

I hear you! :P ;)

~Kisses.

HTG

[Hara_Juku Tgirl]

*Bump*

~Kisses.

HTG

[tsntx]

serial dating isnt for me... im always looking for lucky charms but all i ever find is a fruit loop

[thx1138]

I'm afraid that, in the aggregate, most of those seeking a committed relationship will be sorely disappointed. The lunkheads outnumber the emotionally mature by a factor of 3 or 4 to 1.
Focusing on mass awakening in 2007

[Hara_Juku Tgirl]

serial dating isnt for me... im always looking for lucky charms but all i ever find is a fruit loop

LOL :lol:

~Kisses.

HTG

[BeardedOne]

I have the cats and they don't judge me.

If someone wants to have a "relationship" with me, they have to find me first.