Showing a good image...

[Jennifer_English]

WHY is it that when i was a lil' 'tranny'... jus starting out on the block 2 yrs ago i had lots n lots n friends....

Yet NOW i feel i have very very few... ?

Me and my partner started a night out to have fun... help everybody... made a webby so (hopefully) we could earn extra cash for my transition....

Have seemed to end up in this position where we're (fairly) well known in the uk... yet all I feel is I have no real friends anymore.....

Most i know on the scene seem to treat me differently...seem to either put me on some (sorry but ) ridiculous pedestal..or want to take potshots at us..

On top of that... im finding a LOT of TS in the UK seem pretty stand-offish to get together and do shoots which would help grow both parties business's.....

Whats happening?

Anyone have any views, especially the girls?

serious.

xx

Thats not even scratched the surface of the questions I have going through my mind recently...

But its a start i guess.....

p.s. sprry to clutter the board up with my minds problems.... i'll keep them to one thread...

Maybe if Charing cross did a better job instead of the usual...

''how are you''
''im great''
""anything else?''
''No see you in nine months''

I might have someone else to talk to....

xx

[edited]

I forgot the title....!!

I dont feel im real anymore... i watch everything i say in chatrooms n boards to keep the nice, polite, image up, dont upset any (possible customers) you get me? ....I used to B real....

its c**p.. im losing me...

(maybe thats why i feel have no friends?)

[Kabuki]

I dont feel im real anymore... i watch everything i say in chatrooms n boards to keep the nice, polite, image up....

its c**p.. im losing me...

(maybe thats why i feel have no friends?)

Just be you Jennifer. I think you will feel better some if you do. Of course we wouldn't mind you posting when you like here. You may have noticed that some people post more than they should here...lol. Seriously though, I know I can't imagine how life has been treating you, but we're wishing you the best here. All of us aren't just here to look at cocks. You have more friends than you think. I hope you will find some local friendships to cheer you up though. Take care Miss. Jennifer.

[Vicki Richter]

If you are a top girl for your market, you face what any of us face. If you talk to any top shemale adult performer, you will find that she has very few actual friends. We might have acquaintences, but friends become scarce. It is why bigger name girls tend to hang out with only each other. Gia and Allanah, Danielle and I or Joanna and I, Vaniity and Brandy (back in the day).

The deal is it takes a lot of self confidence to hang out with a girl who is attractive and well known in the genre. There is also a misconception (sometimes) that girls who do well are full of themselves or snotty, or whatever. Girls will look at you and then themselves and ask, "I'm hotter than her, how come I don't have a huge website" or "how come I'm not making all these movies". It's natural behavior among the TS community.

I've experienced that myself twice. First with Vaniity. Second with Allanah. In the case of Vaniity, every movie we were in together, she would get this huge box cover shot, and I would get some average box shot. I hated it. I never wanted to be in the same movie with her again. In fact, I've tried planning my movies so I wouldn't be in movies that she was in. With Allanah, I had felt like she walked into HA and just took over when I had been posting here longer. Was there jealousy there in both cases? Sure. Did there need to be? Absolutely not.

I never felt that way with Joanna, Danielle, or Gia because I was great friends with Joanna and Danielle so there was never any concept of jealousy over their success or beauty. With Gia, she was always so low key and nice, it is impossible not to like her regardless of her success and beauty.

There are other girls who I might be impressed with their beauty, but it isn't any form of contemptful jealousy. Girls who I think are striking are girls like Jennifer Paris, Mia, Miriam, Khloe, Saigon, etc.

I am very aware that the torch always needs to pass to a new generation. I've done my 5 years in the adult business, but new girls (bigger, better, faster) will always be on the horizon.

Anyway, I digress. Yes the more popular you are, the fewer friends you will have. If you stay self confident, it won't really matter.

V

[Jericho]

Big fish in a *very* small pond?

I mean, if someone [who knew that many] was asked "Name 5 british tgirls?", your name would be if not at the top, in amongst them.

Which leads to the British disease, envy, "put 'em up to knock them down" - Take the Beckhams for example, what have they done wrong? Not alot as far as i can see, but some people seem to take delight in bringing them down - No wonder they fucked off to America.

Maybe it's the same thing [to an extent], too successful?

I could be wrong, i could be talking bollox, but...... 8)

[WendyWilliams]

Most of what Vicki says is somewhat what I have noticed......I am very good friends with Joanna and no matter how successful I have become even being a competitive director she and I have stayed close and I value her as an Idol, business partner and friend........As Vicki says how can you NOT like Gia she is amazing, I speak with her daily and she is a good voice of reasoning "keep to yourself and stay off message boards" LOL! Meghan Chavalier being the another whom I am blessed to have as a friend.

Sadly we all will encounter that one or two ts's that are jealous of your success or "fame" and that goes to whether you are a "star" or just doing your own thing............I have tried too be supportive of the new girls especially Jade and Khloe I have been around for 4 years now and came in as the next generation along with Danielle and its time for the new crop to get their spotlight.

However I am not going to blame it on everyone else I have been very guilty of being jealous or envy. But once I learned NOT TO CARE what others thought of me and realize you cant be friends with EVERYONE.

Best advice is what Joanna told me "focus on yourself and not on what anyone else is doing"..........


Now too the U.K,,,,,,,You have a whole different level of competition because Joanna is the only national "star" you have. So with your success and Farrahs will bring on those who are "jealous" or envious. Also the U.K's market is so much smaller that of course it would be easier to stand out.

So girl my advice is too just smile and remember not too forget those who helped you get to where you are now and if others dont want to network and help U.K girls become more known than its their loss.

Wendy

[TJT]

Yeah,when everyone is a potential customer/fan it's tough to be yourself. You feel like you have to be "on" all the time.

I've worked in the media most of my life. People run the gamut from intimidated,to the ones who think I'm their best friend because they've seen/heard me on the air? (I'm not going to mention the out and out psychos.)

When you have to be on all the time you;
A)Feel like you have no time to be yourself. B) You feel like you're becoming your persona? It all kinds of runs together and you begin to wonder who the hell you really are? At least that's how it was for me.

I tend to stay in touch w/ friends who knew me when I was young. Those old friends keep you grounded,will let you know when you're being a jackass,and will warn you if they think you're going off the deep end.

It sounds like part of it is you've gone from being the flavor of the month to being just another girl? Once you're used to the attention is tough when it levels off. You might want to try something new twist on your site/personna and see what happens?

It's all part of being in the public honey. Everyone from the schoolteacher to Madonna has to go through it. We small fish don't have the luxury of money & people to handle the details for us.

Make some time to be yourself. I go drinking/fishing with my hillbilly relatives a couple times a year. There are no secrets with that crew. We all know who tried to mount the milk cow when we were kids and who didn't.

Good luck and don't let it get to you.

[nyctraveler]

I forgot the title....!!

I dont feel im real anymore... i watch everything i say in chatrooms n boards to keep the nice, polite, image up, dont upset any (possible customers) you get me? ....I used to B real....

its c**p.. im losing me...

(maybe thats why i feel have no friends?)[/quote]

As a career salesman I've seen this happen all the time, and it's regardless of the product you may be selling. Sales is a career in which you have to put on a different face all the time; if you're not careful you can loose yourself in the image. That plastic feeling comes from constantly being pulled one way or another to match the prospective clients needs. Sometimes we try to mirror a client because that's what makes them most comfortable and we can more quickly gain their trust. The trade off is your constantly changing faces, adapting, and only a very few jaded (or psychotic) individuals can do it for a lifetime without feeling some emptiness. I think the awareness of the fakeness somehow makes a person hold tight to something deep inside, making the suppresed you that much stronger. Could explain why all the best salesmen I've ever known also needed their bolts tightened. I wish you luck in your endeavors and that this melancholy passes quickly. When it hit me in the past I found that a vacation away helps, changing scenes, even temporarily, could help as well. Smoking a joint definitely helps, but that may be just me being a junky. :)

[ezed]

WHY is it that when i was a lil' 'tranny'... jus starting out on the block 2 yrs ago i had lots n lots n friends....

Yet NOW i feel i have very very few... ?

Me and my partner started a night out to have fun... help everybody... made a webby so (hopefully) we could earn extra cash for my transition....

Have seemed to end up in this position where we're (fairly) well known in the uk... yet all I feel is I have no real friends anymore.....

Most i know on the scene seem to treat me differently...seem to either put me on some (sorry but ) ridiculous pedestal..or want to take potshots at us..

On top of that... im finding a LOT of TS in the UK seem pretty stand-offish to get together and do shoots which would help grow both parties business's.....

Whats happening?

Anyone have any views, especially the girls?

serious.

xx

Thats not even scratched the surface of the questions I have going through my mind recently...

But its a start i guess.....

p.s. sprry to clutter the board up with my minds problems.... i'll keep them to one thread...

Maybe if Charing cross did a better job instead of the usual...

''how are you''
''im great''
""anything else?''
''No see you in nine months''

I might have someone else to talk to....

xx

[edited]

I forgot the title....!!

I dont feel im real anymore... i watch everything i say in chatrooms n boards to keep the nice, polite, image up, dont upset any (possible customers) you get me? ....I used to B real....

its c**p.. im losing me...

(maybe thats why i feel have no friends?)

HEY JENNIFER! SNAP OUT OF IT! YOU'RE FUCKING BEAUTIFUL! REMEMBER THAT! Tell you what, take some time and read the book "Shogun" by James Clavell. Pay attention, it's a great escape, and you'll learn something about all of this. Of people.

You will be fine, don't be disheartened. YOU'RE REAL. VERY REAL. DON'T DOUBT THAT! EVER!

[wendy48088]

* Deleted *

[Balcanoid]

Jennifer:
If you start any bussines, I mean any, as a time goes by, you will end up being alone, this is how it works...
...this is not about porn industry, it isn`t about you...simply, the world is turning that way...
You need to be focused on yourself and to have or to obtain enough power within to substitute all of friendship/love you were acquired from your surrounding..If you can`t or unable to do it you should stop now what u`r doing `couse it will stress you emotionaly at such a level you will end up useless for anything...
Also I support Vicki`s post...

[Alison Faraday]

*deleted*

*sent privately*

[Kriss]

WHY is it that when i was a lil' 'tranny'... jus starting out on the block 2 yrs ago i had lots n lots n friends....
Yet NOW i feel i have very very few... ?

Basically, people are shits. I understand what you say and it is the same in any 'scene', especially where some really like being a 'big fish in a small pond'. When you gain any degree of sucess it becomes apparent who is a friend, who is an 'associate' eager for a slice of the action and the rest, the jealous haters, posers, frauds and fakes. Sorry to be a pessimist but thats how people are, highly competetive, egotistical and will stab you in the back. that is OUR CULTURE. It's how we are brought up. Didn't you learn anything in school? never poke your head above the parapet. Never say anything unless you are sure that everyone will agree with what you say. MOB RULE yay!

Yours sincerly Travis Bickle (now where's that gun.......)

[Kriss]

Which leads to the British disease, envy, "put 'em up to knock them down" - Take the Beckhams for example, what have they done wrong? Not alot as far as i can see, but some people seem to take delight in bringing them down - No wonder they fucked off to America.

You are SO right about the english disease. The beckhams however are a very different case. He is very good at football and not much else. Football is a popular but entirely pointless activity in my mind so good for him but what has he done for ME lately? She however is so fucking fake it is not even funny. She dresses him like a barbie doll , gets ridiculous pretentious tatoos in sanskrit that incorrectly spell victoria. She is NOT posh, has never been posh. Hertfordshire is NOT posh. Surrey is barely POSH. She is also not amazingly beautiful OR sexy but just immaculately GROOMED. I feel sorry for david beckham's dad who devoted his whole fucking life supporting his son's football ambitions to be forgotten, pushed out by the queen bee. Intersting to me is that the ONLY white man I ever saw used in advertising in Jamaica was David beckham, on a bus-shelter poster for 'milo' chocolate milk! All the kids that would mob us at the beach (look! white man!) would just ask over and over "do you know david beckham?" to each of us as if they expected us to go "yeah he's my uncle's cousin's mum's baby father". seems like they respect anything to do with Sport.
dont start me on POSH. that skinny, fake, label whore. sunglasses on a stick! that woman makes madonna look genuine. she takes pretentious to whole next level.

[Jennifer_English]

Thank you everyone for your replys....

Food for thought.... Not exactly what I wanted to hear - but the truth I guess....

I'll see if I cam find 'Shogun' somewhere....I like to read... ty

I guess I'm a bit nieve.. I've allways thought that until theres no reason to be nice then its costs nothing.... probably why I end up getting s**t on from a great height by some peeple...

*Sigh*

It makes me sad that we live in a world like this....

[Jericho]

dont start me on POSH. that skinny, fake, label whore. sunglasses on a stick! that woman makes madonna look genuine. she takes pretentious to whole next level.

So, you're fairly indifferent then? [waits for head to explode!] :P

Ok, perhaps the Beckhams weren't the best example, but, they're like the royalty of the kelly generation, and unlike Betty and Stavaros, they don't cost me anything, so personally, i don't have a problem with them. :)

[Jericho]

*Sigh*
It makes me sad that we live in a world like this....

I know how trite it sounds, but, don't let the bastards grind you down, you're better than that. :)

And if you're still on a Clavel kick by the time you've finished Shogun, take a look at Taipan. It has one of the best endings you'll ever read.

[MiaIsabella1985]

I have been feeling that way for a while now with my circle of friends. These are girls who became sisters to me and involved in every aspect of this business with me and even helped groom me and fill me with confidence. We would tour together always and even when they couldnt afford to go with me I would cover their costs just to have their company. After my website appearances and successfull tours and movie release I began to feel nothing but fierce amounts of jealousy and hatred from them towards me and I couldnt wrap my fingers around why. I think it is that for some people if you dont got it . . . it comes hard and if you got it it comes easy. In other words you either got it or you dont and because some people are not willing to take chances and put themselves out their when you do and they see you benifit from it they are upset because they think you didnt have to work for it.

[AllanahStarrNYC]

Goodness- I am not sure if I am the best at giving advice for this sort of thing but I really think the most important thing is to just do your own thing, stay grounded and true to yourself, because the 'fame' we garnish is really on a small scale in the grand scheme of it all.

I think it is very important to be nice to everyone, be appreciative of your fans and other girls. I know we are all in an image based business and sometimes it's very hard not to compare yourself to other girls. If I see a girl who is much more lovely than I am, I am apprecative and I use it as an ispiration to better myself.

There are always people who will talk about you, say good things, bad things, and make up things- you can't stop them. Be appreative that they are talking about you- it means that you are doing something that others appreciate, loathe, or envy. You can't manage or stop it- but it is up to you to manage yourself and put out a positive spin as much as you can.
No one likes a girl who is too full of who she is. People will remember the girl who is nicer much more positively rather than the girl who is prettier but nastier.

Vicki is right- it does take zero ego to be friends with another beautiful girl. It is actually a very good experience. When you are used to being the center of attention, it's good to share that with someone or let someone else shine- it keeps you grounded. The reason that Gia and I are able to friends is because we have absolutely no competetion or ego involved with one another. We are happy when the other triumphs and we can step out of the 'spot light' to let the other shine- wether it be in a personal or business situation. Our dynamics are different but they work great together.

Acquaintances are many for me but my very close friends are far and few in between. I do think that is better. I would rather have five great friends than 20 so-so ones.

Just my 2 cents :)

[NRT]

Sorry but regarding the Beckhams they are both as fake and over rated as each other. David Beckham is not a natural leader, and wasnt every considered by Alex Ferguson as captain material. He only got the job for England because the FA found out his face could sell mechandise and be worth at least #50m pounds a year to the national side. He takes every free kick for England and hasnt scored in the major tournaments against big teams. About a 1 in 80 success rate at internatianal level. Neither has he ever had a good game against the leading sides during the knock out stages of tournaments. The press in this country dont criticise his poor form or question why he is always in the team. At his present club, REal MAdrid he has not won anything. I pity the American football fans when he arrives on such a mega pay deal


"Jericho wrote:
Which leads to the British disease, envy, "put 'em up to knock them down" - Take the Beckhams for example, what have they done wrong? Not alot as far as i can see, but some people seem to take delight in bringing them down - No wonder they fucked off to America.


You are SO right about the english disease. The beckhams however are a very different case. He is very good at football and not much else. Football is a popular but entirely pointless activity in my mind so good for him but what has he done for ME lately? She however is so fucking fake it is not even funny. She dresses him like a barbie doll , gets ridiculous pretentious tatoos in sanskrit that incorrectly spell victoria. She is NOT posh, has never been posh. Hertfordshire is NOT posh. Surrey is barely POSH. She is also not amazingly beautiful OR sexy but just immaculately GROOMED. "

[Jennifer_English]

Hertfordshire is NOT posh. "

lmfao 'n' rofl tellin' me!!!!! i live here~~~!

thx for giving me more of your vbiews peeps.. allthough Allanah... I hear what your saying and a lot is good... ty...... but Gia? um theres no jealousy IMHO cos your both there babe.... no need to be... your both at the top..

in UK i really think its diff... theres so few of us.... every freind I have... it isnt the same.....

i most DEFF. have never and WILL never b up myself.... just in a place with so few people..... pretty much alone.... not friendship wise... more similar people...

Mia i dont think about things in a way of 'you got it or u aint' (not implying b-cause of what you said you do) I Really think of myself... justifiably IMO as a VERY new person the it all.... perhaps thats why its suddenly so strange to me...

Allanah you said.. ''It is actually a very good experience. When you are used to being the center of attention, it's good to share that with someone''

i ALWAYS do im NO star.. jus a normal person... and WILL always think that no matter what others say.... oh i dunno...

i just wish every in tha world would jus be nice 2 each other.... u know?

[AllanahStarrNYC]

Hertfordshire is NOT posh. "

lmfao 'n' rofl tellin' me!!!!! i live here~~~!

thx for giving me more of your vbiews peeps.. allthough Allanah... I hear what your saying and a lot is good... ty...... but Gia? um theres no jealousy IMHO cos your both there babe.... no need to be... your both at the top..

in UK i really think its diff... theres so few of us.... every freind I have... it isnt the same.....

i most DEFF. have never and WILL never b up myself.... just in a place with so few people..... pretty much alone.... not friendship wise... more similar people...

Mia i dont think about things in a way of 'you got it or u aint' (not implying b-cause of what you said you do) I Really think of myself... justifiably IMO as a VERY new person the it all.... perhaps thats why its suddenly so strange to me...

Allanah you said.. ''It is actually a very good experience. When you are used to being the center of attention, it's good to share that with someone''

i ALWAYS do im NO star.. jus a normal person... and WILL always think that no matter what others say.... oh i dunno...

i just wish every in tha world would jus be nice 2 each other.... u know?

That is definately a very nice wish and I wish it were true too :) But since most people can't be nice to each other. All you can do is your part and be nice to them. You seem like a nice person and I am sure whom ever is hating on you is because you are doing something positive with yourself and career.

[Tranny 411]

I have been feeling that way for a while now with my circle of friends. These are girls who became sisters to me and involved in every aspect of this business with me and even helped groom me and fill me with confidence. We would tour together always and even when they couldnt afford to go with me I would cover their costs just to have their company. After my website appearances and successfull tours and movie release I began to feel nothing but fierce amounts of jealousy and hatred from them towards me and I couldnt wrap my fingers around why. I think it is that for some people if you dont got it . . . it comes hard and if you got it it comes easy. In other words you either got it or you dont and because some people are not willing to take chances and put themselves out their when you do and they see you benifit from it they are upset because they think you didnt have to work for it.

i think in your case Mia, if you take a closer look you will find that its not your friends that have changed, its you. there are a couple of tell tale things i've noticed about your posts. The constant use of the term "I" is very telling. your dislike for other TS shines thru. you say things like "SRS" to get attention and then never rejoin the conversation. its always about Mia. you have deceived clients by making appointments and then not showing up because someone else offered you more money. this shows a complete disregard for your customers and people in general. you've done the same thing to websites and producers. you play one against the other to get more "money"! while you seem to want to be a "Business woman" you lack the key element in becoming any kind of business person, ETHICS. you have stabbed so many people in the back that you can't hide from it any longer. its called, Two-Faced.

The one thing that permeates almost every thought you write is "MONEY"! i have never seen such an obviously self centered, deceptive, greedy, paranoid, insecure, individual anywhere else in my lifetime. whatever you think you have or had has been completely destroyed by your dysfunctional personality and character. its an ugly thing to watch :twisted:

[MiaIsabella1985]

Wow Ray AKA (Playfull John) AKA (The Guardian) AKA (Tranny 411) you had to create all these profiles to disguise yourself becuase no one would take you seriously due to your obsession with me and all your bashing. Yet you still have been calling me and emailing me all week trying to get back in with me. Not gonna happen by the way and secondly my business ethics remain in tack as you will see a few new projects involving me cumming out very soon. Grow up my love and get a life

[The Guardian]

Wow Ray AKA (Playfull John) AKA (The Guardian) AKA (Tranny 411) you had to create all these profiles to disguise yourself becuase no one would take you seriously due to your obsession with me and all your bashing. Yet you still have been calling me and emailing me all week trying to get back in with me. Not gonna happen by the way and secondly my business ethics remain in tack as you will see a few new projects involving me cumming out very soon. Grow up my love and get a life

dont know tranny 411 and HAPPY EASTER to you too! You sure can be nasty :lol: and no, thats not me calling nor have i emailed you sweety other than a Happy Easter message. why so evil :?: :?: and why did you contact my employer? did that make you feel better as you slid the knife in my back and turned it :cry: that really wasnt necessary, was it :?:

[The Guardian]

And of course, your latest bout of psychosis. Now get this. Mia is 21 and i've know her for a little over a year. DO THE MATH :lol: This is really SICK! Who would do this kind of thing :?:


Inbox :: Message
From: MiaIsabella1985
To: PlayfulJohn
Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 5:01 pm
Subject: Does Everyone Know?
Does everyone know yet that you were sleeping with me when I was only 17 years old? You 50 years old and me 17 would make you a child molester wouldnt it? What would everyone think about your status in society then? You know as much as the world isnt so excepting of TS they sure are a hell of a lot harder on pedifiles. Maybe I will start talking and telling everyone about that and make it very public. That you were the one coaxing me to transorm and have surgery even offering to assist and come with remember?

[SpoogeMonkey]

Errrm... back to topic...

My opinion would be that when 'selling' yourself on the web you are actually selling your sex, your sexuality. People will interpret that differently. For me I would look at your pictures and fantasise. However, my fantasies are just that. They arent usually grounded in reality. But you arent selling reality. You are a normal person projecting a small part of you into a certain section of society.

I think its part of the myspace generation. Using terms like friends sums this all up. Nobody really has 19,999 friends. You really have a handful. You may have a shedload of acquaintances but how many can you really trust/believe/rely upon.

As for the scene of t-girls in the UK, I'm sure there are many who would love to get involved, BUT i think you are finding the typical british reserve is at play here. We aren't exactly famed here for our porn stars. Take Big Brother the tv series. Only in Britain have we failed to have two people shag each other live on TV. There's been the rumour the under the sheets
shenanigans.

Interesting to see the way Miriam was portrayed in the press after the SKY programme. The typical response with puns to knock her down. However she is so stunningly good looking I think a lot of people got confused. Espcially when it was revealed she hadn't transitioned 'all the way' and she had a penis. THat hit a lot of nerves and in some ways she didnt do a great deal for the case for people to accept you. The tv programme was intended to confuse precious red blooded males and get you to ask .. "would ya? or wouldnt ya" (for the record, I'd be a VERY lucky man to be in Miriams company, she is gorgeous and I cursed those dickheads who turned her down and the scum who beat her up).

I honestly believe that the UK is very unnaccepting of t-girls. Im not talking of male to female transexuals who have transistioned with SRS, I am more referring to everyone else within that category. Us brits are a suspicious nation. But there are exceptions...




BTW, apologies to any generalisation listed above. Just trying to make a point.

[The Guardian]

Yes, the FANTASY of many but actually LOVED by very few. Can be very confusing for some of the girls. Everything becomes jaundiced and they lose reality. Some never come back to earth. Others are quite good at separating fact from fantasy and go on to become contributing members of society and develop strong inter-personal relationships with people of all walks of life. Some get lost within there own gender and never grow. In the short term, perception is reality. At the end of the day you are either a decent person or not. I have helped a lot of people in my lifetime. Most turned out good. If you don't take the risk because of fear of failure, you're doomed to stagnate and stop growing and learning. Sometimes you just gotta take the heat and :D


http://www.metacafe.com/watch/515603/the_rose/