I'm a bit gutted really

[Alison Faraday]

A little bit really.

There's this job I was going for. All going brilliant, almost nothing that I said would get rid of them despite my doubts. I was totally up front. Told them what I did, what I've been doing, my adult stuff, everything. Still they weren't budging. Wow!

Just got a mail back, thanks but no thanks at 8.30pm in the evening. Clearly they did some digging about in their spare time.

Now I'm not really disappointed as I never expected to get it anyway, but as said, they wanted me and the interview was tomorrow afternoon. The aim always has been to get out of all of this by the end of 2007 and back into the real world. It was working back in Cambridge and for about £40k ($80k).

I never went into this thinking I'd get it from the moment go, and said exactly what I felt like saying. It's kind of like you go for something in the belief that you're not going to get it, then it comes and no matter what you say they keep on pushing. You then start to dream a bit, and then it goes.



Alison,

I've now had a chance to check out your website. As you say, legal where hosted and as far as I can tell legal here.

If we got past the interviewing process and you were just running it, then
I think I could probably persuade the partners of XYZ that it was nothing
to do with your work and nothing to do with us.

Unfortunately I think that your starring role in it would make them
un-persuadable. The actuarial profession is somewhat conservative, and I don't for one second think I'll get this one past them [or keep my job if
it came out that I hadn't run it past them].

So I think the sensible thing to do at this point is to say "thank you for
your interest in XYZ" and wish you good luck with your many and varied
ventures.

Thanks for your time and best wishes for the future,

Regards

XYZ


I have just replied;



Hi XYZ,

No worries. I was always aware that it was an issue. But as mentioned, not by choice. Easy to get into, hard to get out of. It's what you have to do unfortunately. My hope is to be out of it entirely by the end of 2007.

It has been a pleasure to make your acquaintance. And it is my view that you genuinely do deserve someone with a bit of *snap* about them. I still maintain that XYZ does have that snap, he's always been much more than just a sysadmin, a true techie. Worth a look in.

Very Best Regards,

Alison


I'm not sure what I feel really. I have exactly the same as what I had at the beginning of the week, but I guess it's a bit of a blast from the past. Being competitive again in the corporate world.

It raises questions of how easy this will be to get out of as planned. My partner says I shouldn't have even told them. But I wanted to be totally up front with them and honest. All the right reasons.

I shouldn't have told them. Damn.

:oops:

[suckseed]

Alison, you were honest, and that's always a good thing. Now if you were to move a bit towards the side of playing one's cards close to the chest, next time you might keep certain things to yourself. Remember, you never know what will turn out to have been for the best. I've never seen you anywhere but on here, and from where I sit, it doesn't seem that farfetched to think that you can shut your site down and those who've seen your images won't say anything. But I may be full of it - the point is, yes, this is a blow. But you're still here. Take what life gives ya, and give 'em some back! ROAR!! lol

[elo]

Easy to realize that erotic bussines is nothing you enjoy.I don´t know what exactly you dislike.Escorting,doing pics,movies.

Erotic work is not good for everyone.Not everyone is enjoying it.Some are in porn because they enjoy it and of course for the money as well and some just for the money like you.

I don´t know much of you of course but i have the impression the longer you gonna do what you do the more frustiated and embittered you become.

[BeardedOne]

Damn! Sorry to hear about this.

Good that you went the honesty route, bad that it didn't work out. I know a small bit (Very small) what it's like to almost have it in your grasp only to have something in the background come out and bite you (Though in my case, the honesty bit was saying too much about my hopes of it being a stepping stone to a better position elsewhere - HR people don't get on too well with that, even if they know it to be the case almost 90% of the time).

What kind of work/position was it (If you can tell us)?

[Alison Faraday]

Hi suckseed and elo,

Oh I'm alright, just reminiscing really.

I guess it all comes down to how successful one is. If I felt I was totally successful here and at the very top, then I'd stay. Being in the wrong country is half the issue.

It's more about wrapping up and moving onto the next chapter. Although that inbetween bit may end up as a chapter in itself.

I've been very successful in the corporate world in the past but lost it all when I transitioned. So never for a minute have I felt I would get back to that level again. This was an old experience. Of practically being head hunted and chased. It's a good feeling. Good for feeding egos.

Just reflecting really. :)

ps. hey B1, just saw you there :) IT project management in the finance industry (in other words, banks).

Not a problem :) Just a blast from the past, an old experience from a past life.

[crayons]

Alison, firstly, I'm proud that you were honest and upfront rather than keeping it a secret. I think thats really telling about your character and for that alone, I respect you highly. However, I'm sorry it didn't work out. Keep working on it girl. NEVER GIVE UP!

[BeardedOne]

ps. hey B1, just saw you there IT project management in the finance industry (in other words, banks).

Ah, more reasons to luv ya. :wink: I'm just a spitthrow from one of the world's credit centers and it makes for interesting reads in the biz section.

I know a number of professional people, many in like and related fields, that have similar rounds with HR. One would mention to a coworker how she was feeling down about her job and in minutes the phone would ring with offers to jump. Yet another, equally educated, experienced, talented individual in the same field would be actively seeking a position and would get the hearty-hand-clasp-boot-out-the-door after each interview. Worse, the best offers usually materialize when you're most secure where you already are.

I hate the interview process and am glad that I am over with it (Though I don't think I topped out in my career path, I just got tired of pushing). The last time I tried to move up in the world (Internally, for my current employer) I landed in the middle of a management v. union battle where a troublesome union rep was appointed to the position in a closed-door meeting with the sole intent of washing him out of their hair. Though top brass actually called me in to =apologize= for this act (Something that is unheard of in the corproate world), the entire scenario burned me out completely and the vacancy notices now go straight to the shredder.

The corporate world is just an elaboate chess game with 47 pawns and 16 queens all trying to get to the one vacant space on the board. The king? He's on a beach in Costa Rica.

[Alison Faraday]

Hey crayons and B1 :)


Alison, firstly, I'm proud that you were honest and upfront rather than keeping it a secret. I think thats really telling about your character and for that alone, I respect you highly. However, I'm sorry it didn't work out. Keep working on it girl. NEVER GIVE UP!

I like that. Thank you :) Put a smile on my face that has. I just like being up front with people. Admittedly though this is something I need to re-evaluate. They say that honesty is always rewarded. Is it? I WILL NOT change my ideals or beliefs to fit in. So therefore it looks like we're staying honest. There!! Re-evaluated. Didn't take long :D


Worse, the best offers usually materialize when you're most secure where you already are.

The corporate world is just an elaboate chess game with 47 pawns and 16 queens all trying to get to the one vacant space on the board. The king? He's on a beach in Costa Rica.

That they are, that they are. I'm quite secure at the moment so don't actually need it, but it was the chase which was fun. I was totally flippant at times and had already refused to give them a CV saying they're not worth the paper they're printed on. :) Someone liked me. :)

Totally true about the 47 pawns and 16 queens. The whole thing is a game of chess. I've spent 6-months in companies doing nothing except joking about. Then you have other people who work really hard and everyone hates them. It's like being at school. :) But totally understand and appreciate your burn out experience ((((hugs)))). That one rips into your health and you can't see it until you're out.

[junior]

Alison,
I believe honesty is always the way to go. In this day and age if you had lied all it would have taken to find your website would be to put your name into google. This would bring up your site and in one click they see you topless and in two clicks see you performing oral sex on a man, on the receiving end of anal sex and more. That would have brought up the honesty issue ie: you omitting that you had an adult website. I hope you reach your goal of getting out of the adult business by the end of 2007. Not because I am making any judgments on the adult industry but because it is your wish. I know this may sound foolish but I would guess a name change for yourself or the site might be somehow helpful here. I was also wondering should you have another similar opportunity in the near future would you be making enough at the job to shut down the website ? just a thought. I wish you well !!!

Junior

[rvince]

I used be computer network security consultant and although I'm now full time into adult sites (on the backside of the camera through) I'm not ever mentioning my real name anywhere in case I may need to find a 9-5 job someday.
I definately understand how you feel. Too bad so many people look down upon the adult industry (while still secretly buying porn online)...

[biguy4tvtscd]

Alison, sorry to hear that you've lost out on an opportunity due to the small mindedness of others. :(

May I make a suggestion for the future?

Unless they point-blank ask...DO NOT TELL. While it's certainly dishonest to falsely answer a question, it's not at all dishonest to not answer a question that was never asked.

By offering up the information (the non-requested info to be precise), you opened yourself up to their judgment, where it may not have been before.

Again, I'm sorry it happened, but I've learned that in most cases, offering up unrequested information works against you more often than for you.

Information is power, don't give them power they neither need, nor ask for.

[Alison Faraday]

Hi there junior, rvince, biguy & M77,

Good to hear from you. :)

Erm, Alison Faraday is a pseudo name don't worry about that. :) Paranoia is Alison's middle name.

I shouldn't have told them. So really a bad call on my part. I messed up. Oh well :oops:

A lesson for any adult models reading this.

[Kriss]

I shouldn't have told them. Damn.

Sometimes honesty is not the best policy. I suspect that you may be too honest for your own good Alison and I mean that in the nicest way. Sometimes I think I have a form of tourettes I am so compulsively honest. You can only be totally up-front when you don't need to rely on any f*ck*r.
A zero-bullshit person like you NEEDS to be self employed, out of corporate hierarchies.

[Kriss]

The corporate world is just an elaboate chess game with 47 pawns and 16 queens all trying to get to the one vacant space on the board. The king? He's on a beach in Costa Rica.

QUOTE OF THE FUCKIN YEAR!!!!! GENIUS :rock2 :rock2 :rock2 :rock2 :rock2

[BlackAdder]

When i go into a job interview that i dont think im gonna have a chance at...

Im the most cockiest fucker in the world...Fuck it right???

You might as well go in with some attitude and make them remember your name. You may just get hired for having some balls...(true story, my first property management gig was landed this way)

[ezed]

Alison,
You were dealing with a corporation. Never lie when given a direct question. But otherwise, treat them like mushrooms, feed them shit and keep them in the dark. A corporation deserves no better. They are probably shitting on the people you meet.

If your past or outside activities ever come up, be irish. Answer a question with a question. "What are you saying?" "Is there a problem with my job performance?" "What?" "Do you know what your saying?" "Are you sure you want to go down this road?"
Corporate clowns are jerk offs and are always paranoid of violating civil rights. Usually it's not there company and are scared to make a call.

[wendy48088]

* Deleted *

[mikejones]

Thanks for sharing Alison. I'm actually surprised that they explained their reasoning with that much detail. I think if that situation had occured in the US it would have been a simple "thank you for your time but we regret that our needs..." etc. As ezed pointed out corporations here are very gunshy of lawsuits and become very opaque with anything unpleasant or controversial. At least now you have some benefit of experience and know what to expect.

I've also wondered about your last name and any connection you might have with Mr. Faraday the scientist, much beloved from physics class.

[peggygee]

Alison, I fully empathize and commiserate with you on
not getting this job that you were after.

Obtaining a job, can be like seeking your ideal soulmate.

You have to kiss a lot of frogs to meet your Prince. http://i92.photobucket.com/albums/l2/magi43/Kermit20the20Frog2x1.jpg
People whether transsexual or not may experience difficulty
in obtaining work. We often may have to apply many, many
times to a number of places before we get hired on.

For you though, I believe it isn't a matter of 'if' you will obtain
a job, but rather when.

You have the skills, the education, and the perserverance to get
the job that you deserve.

Thus perhaps you may want to look at this as a informational
interview. This experience gives you a better sense of what are
some of the obstacles that may hinder your goal.

Keep at it, get back on the horse and I know you'll get the position
you're after.

[Alison Faraday]

Hi there,

I'm reading, please don't think any posts went unnoticed. :)

Thx peg. :)

*deleted* the rant

[BeardedOne]

:(

:x

:evil:

OK, no appropriate response at this time. :?

[the Adrienne Barbeaubot]

Don't worry Alison. Other opportunities will arise. Unfortunately we live in a very closed minded world that does not accept certain aspects of peoples lives. Just don't offer any information to those who would use it against you. Good luck in your future endeavours.

[Jennifer_English]

So sorry things didnt work out as planned Alison...

Like some have said..... and i REALLY admire your honesty... but next time shhhhhhhh.... like you need me to tell you that.... honesty don't always pay....

Again..Im sorry to hear this.... I know how much living a 'normal' life means to you..(me too chick...)..whatever the f**k THAT is!!

Jennifer
xx

P.s. You 'n' Karen fancy coming over for dinner sometime soon? We have a spare room and would be lovely to see you both.....?

Us 2
xx

[wendy48088]

* Deleted *

[wendy48088]

* Deleted *

[Alison Faraday]

Oh I dunno, I think he looks more accomplished when older.

His life was a difficult one. He was never treated very well and only received recognition after his death. I believe he died quite young.

There's people like that wandering around Cambridge to this day. Stephen Hawking is the one to watch though. No seriously!! He tries to run people over in the Market Square.

[Cutechubby]

Hi Alison

We chatted on tvchix a few weeks ago and good on you for giving it a try.

I think I agree with Jennifer (even though I work in HR!) don't lie but keep the whole truth and nothing but the truth back. No interviewer is going to ask the direct question so it shouldn't be an issue.

Need a plausible answer to "what have you been doing for the last x years" but apart from that it should be cool!

Good luck!

[stouffer]

...i know what you mean Alison - I've had an altercation with him down Petty Cury. Shame you're not about in Cambridge - would have been nice to see your beautiful face brightening up the place :) xxx

[Taom]

you are a very honest person alison, something i admire, but it can lead to bad consequences in life. i wish you all the best. you are a very sweet, honest, and caring person.

[a994]

Too bad so many people look down upon the adult industry (while still secretly buying porn online)...




Or seeing sex-workers on the down low.

P.S. Alison I admire your courage in just being honest. May the Lord provide for you a new profession which you would be much happier with.

[BrendaQG]

:-( :-/ Honesty is the best policy and for the job you are talking about chances are they would have found it in a back ground check anyway. Any one who would not hire you on account of this does not deserve your skills. To heck with em.

[pnwguy24]

Alison,

Honestly your courage, class, and self respect completely blow me away. Ive read a number of your posts, and I have to say from what I can surmise you conduct yourself on a level above most. Not only are you beautiful, but compassionate, intelligent and graceful. I just want to say thank you for being you. It is a very refreshing thing to see, and a rarity to boot. You are an inspiration to me, you just keep on keepin on girl. You are doing the right thing. Best of luck and much love <3 Randall.