PDA

View Full Version : Whats the deal you got a stick up your ass..As a matter of..



peggygee
03-13-2007, 09:26 PM
Whats the matter you got a stick up your ass?

As a matter of fact..... :oops:

Reason #5 why I have curbed anal play. :smh

How do they remove things in the emergency room?

Go ahead, you know you want to. :roll: http://i92.photobucket.com/albums/l2/magi43/gerbil.jpg

Embarrassing question: let’s say I got something stuck up my bum. And let’s say it isn’t an officially approved anal sex toy. I’ve been told before that you’re supposed to go an emergency department, but what happens once you’re there? I’m afraid to ask how they get these things out?

A.
The first thing to know about those now unwanted objects up your or anyone else’s bum is that they’re a common sight in ER departments and something doctors and nurses expect. A night without a misplaced toothbrush or potato is, apparently, not much of a night.

In “Emergency Department Management of Retained Rectal Foreign Bodies”, a paper that lays out some basic standards of practice for the removal of rectal foreign bodies (the medical and slightly sci-fi term for the situation at hand), Dr. Richard Wigle suggests that doctors should keep this possibility in the front of their minds when people present with otherwise unexplainable anal pain.

Knowing how common this is might make people more likely to seek help right away, so let’s consider some anal ER stats:

78% of the cases in ER rooms of rectal foreign bodies are the result of sexual activity.
More men than women present with unexplained anal pain that is revealed to be an object stuck in their rectum or colon.
Only one third of people admit the reason for their arrival at the ER.
Common excuses for the pain is an accident (“I fell on something”) or some sort of therapeutic technique gone wrong.
The longer you take to tell the ER people what’s wrong, the longer it will take for them to help you, so the easiest and best thing you can do is tell the ER people exactly what’s in there, how long it’s been in there, and whether there is anything else that went in before or after it.

Once you’ve spilled the beans (metaphorically speaking), you’ll be assessed to determine whether or not yours is an emergency that needs to be attended to immediately.

Depending on how much pain you are in, if you have a fever, and what exactly is stuck up there, you may have to wait or you might be seen right away.
When you’re finally behind the flimsy paper curtain the first step is to determine where the object is in your body. This can be done either by feeling around (both outside and inside your body) or by X-ray if the doctor isn’t able to “visualize” the object.

How they will try to remove the object depends on a number of things, including how far up the object is, what the object is, and any other factors that are relevant at the time (possibly including your body, your health, etc…).

The first course of action is usually to try and remove the object anally either with instruments or the physician’s fingers. Often they will give you a local anesthesia to help dilate the rectum and relax the sphincter muscles.

If this is not possible, removal may require surgery under general anesthetic.

Most recently, there was an incident written up involving a stuck toothbrush case. The doctors were unable to feel the object either through the anus or by external exam. They used laparoscopic assistance to both locate the object and to actually push down on the object while simultaneously pulling it out through the anus.

In most cases these stories end well (although granted, not as well as the individual might originally have hoped for). The major concern is whether there is any tearing in the rectum or colon. This can happen either when an object went in, or as it’s being removed, and if tearing is observed it is considered a surgical emergency.

Caleigh
03-13-2007, 09:45 PM
so, can we turn this into the "What's the strangest thing you have ever shoved up your ass?" thread?

peggygee
03-13-2007, 09:51 PM
so, can we turn this into the "What's the strangest thing you have ever shoved up your ass?" thread?

Nope, that would be Vala's department.

I'm in the how do you get it out, or keep it out department.

She's down the hall......hey, where'd my gerbil go?

"VALA" !!!

:roll:

DavidLynch
03-13-2007, 10:02 PM
Only 78% of cases where foreign objects are stuck in the rectum are from sexual activity? Why is this not 99%? Other than enemas, which even then are part of sexual activity... are people shoving stuff up their ass for holistic reasons?

WTF

:lol:

SarahG
03-13-2007, 10:21 PM
are people shoving stuff up their ass for holistic reasons?

Yes, in fact its quite a common occurance in the prison system... not just weapons (money, drugs, various contraband etc)

DavidLynch
03-13-2007, 10:27 PM
Ah yes, the criminals!

:lol:

chefmike
03-13-2007, 10:55 PM
:lol:

suckseed
03-13-2007, 11:02 PM
POTATO?!

peggygee
03-13-2007, 11:03 PM
:lol:

The pictures tell the tail, err ahh, the tale. :lol:

Jasadin
03-13-2007, 11:06 PM
are people shoving stuff up their ass for holistic reasons?

Yes, in fact its quite a common occurance in the prison system... not just weapons (money, drugs, various contraband etc)

That act is called keestering,keistering. :lol:

Trogdor
03-13-2007, 11:48 PM
Here's the weirdest stuff I've seen on some site I looked up for this topic.

1: Intact light bulb
2: Can of shaving cream, with a big dildo attached to the top
3: Wrench
4: Barbie boll
5: Eggplant
6: Coke bottle
7: 2 dildos, one after another.
8: Roll of Quarters
9: TV Guide
10: Padlock

freak
03-14-2007, 01:34 AM
I once had a 10 inch double headed dildo left in my ass by mistake, I didn't know, I was having some serious cramps then I went to the bathroom and felt all constipated, finally I felt like I was stuck half way doing my business then it comae out in 1 long log, looked in the toilet and found that big rubber cock. It was there for a good 2 hours

chefmike
03-14-2007, 02:23 AM
I once had a 10 inch double headed dildo left in my ass by mistake

I feel your pain.

Don't you hate when that happens?

I had the same sort of thing happen to me...except it was a ball-peen hammer...

Oh yeah...and a flashlight...how could I have forgotten that?

BeardedOne
03-14-2007, 02:31 AM
There is a website somewhere that gives medical info on such things. Examples sited were a block of concrete (Inserted wet, then hardened), the aforementioned Barbie doll, and the big bang itself: A live mortar shell. :shock:

Hey, I don't mind spreading my cheeks for new and different entertainment, but I don't want it to fucking =EXPLODE=, thenkyewvewwymuch. :smh

Beagle
03-14-2007, 03:17 AM
http://www.nbc4.tv/news/11241609/detail.html

LOS ANGELES -- An Iraqi immigrant who was found to have a suspicious device lodged in his rectum last week at Los Angeles International Airport now faces deportation after immigration agents discovered two violent convictions in his past.

Immigration agents reviewing Fadhel Al-Maliki's case said they've found he had been convicted in the past for domestic violence and for possession of an illegal weapon.

Those convictions violate the terms of his status as a permanent U.S. resident and make him subject to deportation.

Al-Maliki triggered the alert during a screening for a flight to Philadelphia.

The FBI said he told screeners about the device he was carrying, which he said he used to fight stress.

Officials say the device had a wire and what may have been a magnet.

The find led to the diversion of a Philadelphia-bound jet carrying his checked luggage to Las Vegas.

peggygee
03-14-2007, 04:12 AM
This is going to hurt in the morning!

At all costs do not insert a glass Coke bottles rectally in
search of pleasure. The open end and the air inside create a
partial vacuum when attempting to remove said Coke bottle.

Partial vacuum and delicate rectal tissue :roll:

The doctors in the ER have to break the Coke bottle inside the rectum,
and then delicately remove the jagged glass.


http://i92.photobucket.com/albums/l2/magi43/dumbass_759.jpg

DavidLynch
03-14-2007, 04:15 AM
How did you get a hold of Goatse's x-ray?

BTW, wouldn't it be better to drill a hole in the bottle. Either way, said patient better stay still.

:lol:

muhmuh
03-14-2007, 04:17 AM
The doctors in the ER have to break the Coke bottle inside the rectum,
and then delicately remove the jagged glass.

bad urban legend... drilling a hole in it would be a lot easier (even despite the fact that drilling glas isnt exactly easy)

does anybody here know the "coke at 37°" pic?

Jericho
03-14-2007, 04:18 AM
The doctors in the ER have to break the Coke bottle inside the rectum,
and then delicately remove the jagged glass.


That's gotta sting! :shock:

rprince
03-14-2007, 04:26 AM
Hi Peggy, I once see a paper on a man having a light bulb shoved up his azz, the funny thing he claims he was sleep. Hold up If I am sleep and someone shoves something in my ass I am going to wake up. That is serious they showed the X-rays . If it would of broken His asshole would of been torn to pieces.

Peggy is that you in the pic by your name?

DavidLynch
03-14-2007, 04:29 AM
OMG, I don't even want to think about having to dump out a broken light bulb. YIKES!

:o

Felicia Katt
03-14-2007, 04:34 AM
sadly medical science still can't help some people remove their heads from their asses :)

meow

FK

suckseed
03-14-2007, 05:32 AM
haha I worked in a photo lab when i was young and we were asked to make a color copy neg of an x ray just like that one of the coke bottle - only this one was a beer bottle. We made a copy for the lab, and people would put different slogans under it:
Coors Light - it's the right beer now
Tonight, let it be Lowenbrau
Miller - tastes great, less filling!

Bottle jokes aside, my favorite all time beer slogan would be:
"Lite Beer from Miller. Because nobody likes a fat drunk!"

the Adrienne Barbeaubot
03-14-2007, 05:40 AM
Being in the medical field as an MRI/X-RAY tech I have actually witnessed a lightbulb incident. Furthermore, I have also seen a 16 inch dildo shoved up some guys ass on his x-rays. He claimed that he was sleeping and that his wife put it in him. Now I don't know bout you folks and I don't care how soundly anyone sleeps.There is no way he could not have known that it was inserted. I don't know what happened after that. It probably had to be surgically removed cause it was in there fairly deep. :shock:

Vala_TS
03-14-2007, 07:04 AM
so, can we turn this into the "What's the strangest thing you have ever shoved up your ass?" thread?

Nope, that would be Vala's department.

I'm in the how do you get it out, or keep it out department.

She's down the hall......hey, where'd my gerbil go?

"VALA" !!!

:roll:

Lol! That's a good one, thanks!

Vala,

Trogdor
03-14-2007, 08:28 AM
This is going to hurt in the morning!

At all costs do not insert a glass Coke bottles rectally in
search of pleasure. The open end and the air inside create a
partial vacuum when attempting to remove said Coke bottle.

Partial vacuum and delicate rectal tissue :roll:

The doctors in the ER have to break the Coke bottle inside the rectum,
and then delicately remove the jagged glass.


http://i92.photobucket.com/albums/l2/magi43/dumbass_759.jpg

Fellow's got an artificial hip, I see. :P

wendy48088
03-14-2007, 09:54 AM
* Deleted *

peggygee
03-14-2007, 09:59 AM
so, can we turn this into the "What's the strangest thing you have ever shoved up your ass?" thread?

Nope, that would be Vala's department.

I'm in the how do you get it out, or keep it out department.

She's down the hall......hey, where'd my gerbil go?

"VALA" !!!

:roll:

Lol! That's a good one, thanks!

Vala,

I hoped you would get a kick out of that one. :wink:

DavidLynch
03-14-2007, 10:03 AM
Whats the matter you got a stick up your ass?


Rectal Foreign Bodies: http://www.well.com/~cynsa/newbutt.html


Holy shit! Some convict stuffed a tool box up his poop shoot to break out.

Sorry, I'd rather stay in prison.

:lol:

wendy48088
03-14-2007, 10:04 AM
* Deleted *

Jasadin
03-14-2007, 04:49 PM
I apologize in advance for putting this image in your head but I just felt like screwing with somebody(I knew I saved it for something). :lol: :lol:

peggygee
03-14-2007, 07:48 PM
I apologize in advance for putting this image in your head but I just felt like screwing with somebody(I knew I saved it for something). :lol: :lol:

Some people definitely need an SO in their life.

This would be one such person.

Next time use soap on a rope, in case it gets stuck in there.

:roll:

eggbert
03-14-2007, 08:25 PM
sadly medical science still can't help some people remove their heads from their asses :)

meow

FK

ezed
03-15-2007, 05:38 AM
I'd just like to add.....wait a minute, I feel a peeker coming on....be right back.

wendy48088
03-15-2007, 06:23 AM
* Deleted *

peggygee
05-17-2007, 01:21 AM
http://i92.photobucket.com/albums/l2/magi43/1zombiegif.gif

http://i92.photobucket.com/albums/l2/magi43/oldthread.jpg

http://i92.photobucket.com/albums/l2/magi43/arg-zombie-walk-backnforth-sm-536x5.gif


:roll: